WTCM 4. Buns and Sticks

“Didn’t we agree to date first and then decide who’s gonna top?” Qi Haiyang, resilient as ever, dusted himself off after the fall. Without missing a beat, he grabbed the double-ended toy and sprinted toward the door.

The bartender, Luo Xiao, rushed over in a panic, handing him a paper bag. “At least put that thing in here! Running around the streets with that in your hand, people are gonna think you’re a pervert. And Xiang-ge, with his pride, will definitely never talk to you again!”

“You’re right, thanks a lot!” Qi Haiyang yelled his thanks over his shoulder, barely pausing as he bolted out the door. Luo Xiao could only shake his head, watching the chaos unfold. Xiang-ge had clearly been pissed off enough to storm out. Whether Qi Haiyang could manage to win him back was anyone’s guess.

Just as that thought crossed Luo Xiao’s mind, Qi Haiyang’s aggrieved voice rang out from outside. “Xiang-ge, don’t leave! I only bought this double-ended one because you didn’t like the two separate ones! It even bends at a right angle and vibrates! Cost me half a month’s living expenses, you know!”

The crowd gathered at the bar entrance, watching as one ran and the other chased after him. Qi Haiyang’s shouting drew another wave of laughter from the onlookers. Luo Xiao sighed to himself, thinking, It’s over. Xiang-ge must be completely done with him by now. That guy better pray, because if Xiang-ge decides to hit him, it’s going to be brutal.

To everyone’s surprise, Chen Tianxiang didn’t hit him. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to, but because he knew it would only make things worse. Who knew what ridiculous nonsense Qi Haiyang would come up with if he got angrier?

Instead, Chen Tianxiang chose to avoid him completely. With his quick reflexes, he managed to shake off Qi Haiyang after just a few turns.

Hiding in the shadows, he watched as Qi Haiyang ran right past him, completely missing where he had gone. Then a new worry came to mind. What if that guy went straight to his apartment and waited outside? He cursed himself for being careless the day before and letting Qi Haiyang find out where he lived.

He made up his mind not to go home. Spending the night in the team’s duty room sounded like the best plan. If Qi Haiyang couldn’t find him, maybe he would give up and leave.

The thought of Qi Haiyang waiting outside all night brought a sense of satisfaction. Feeling oddly pleased, Chen Tianxiang drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Early in the morning, standing at his post and watching the busy traffic around him, Chen Tianxiang felt an unexpected sense of calm. Although he worked out in the open every day, the city was huge, and the population even larger. There was no way Qi Haiyang could track him down during the day. He pulled the brim of his white cap lower to shield himself from the glaring sunlight. As his arm raised and lowered, cars passed smoothly through the intersection under his direction.

That’s right. The cold-faced, too-cool-for-school Chen Tianxiang was a traffic cop. His favorite part of the job was standing at his post during rush hour. Even though most people barely noticed whether his hand gestures were precise or if his movements looked cool, and some didn’t even glance at him in passing, he liked to imagine himself as the center of attention, admired by all. It gave him a sense of pride as if he were some kind of hero.

But while Chen Tianxiang often daydreamed about being admired, he never imagined what it would actually feel like. When someone in real life blew whistles, clapped their hands, and shouted, “Xiang-ge, you’re so cool! Xiang-ge, you’re the best!” the pride was nowhere to be found. Instead, all he wanted to do was dig a hole and crawl into it.

His hair practically stood on end. He never imagined Qi Haiyang could be this efficient and figure out his post so quickly. Seething, Chen Tianxiang grabbed Qi Haiyang by the collar of his shirt. With a grunt, he shoved him against the metal shutter of a closed shop by the roadside.

“Relax, don’t make a scene. So many people around, it’s not a good look,” Qi Haiyang said, grinning sheepishly as he scratched his face. Then he casually reached into the paper bag he was holding. “You didn’t go home, so I got worried. I looked for you all night… Here, have a bun.”

Chen Tianxiang was momentarily stunned by Qi Haiyang’s leap in logic. He quickly grabbed his hand, afraid that what Qi Haiyang was about to pull out wasn’t a bun, but that damn soft pink double-ended dildo.

“I’m not eating it! How did you find me?”

“Didn’t find you,” Qi Haiyang said with a shrug. “I searched all night and still couldn’t find you. So I went back to your neighborhood, asking around. Your neighbors said you’d probably be here at this intersection by now. I was worried you hadn’t had breakfast, so I bought you some buns.”

Chen Tianxiang slapped his forehead. How could he forget that the guy had a mouth under his nose to ask with? Qi Haiyang had that innocent, charming look, with big eyes and an easy smile that made it hard for anyone to be suspicious. No wonder the neighbors had told him where to find him. But… had he really looked for me all night?

Qi Haiyang looked surprisingly energetic, but upon closer inspection, there was eye crud in the corner of his eyes, and his face had a dull, greasy sheen from sweat, like he’d been running around all morning without bothering to wash up.

“Xiang-ge, here’s a bun for you. I’ve gotta head back to school,” Qi Haiyang said, pulling a plastic bag full of big buns from his pocket. He took a bite of one, then shoved the rest into Chen Tianxiang’s arms. “Luckily I didn’t have class this morning. I’m gonna go catch up on some sleep.”

The soft, fluffy bun made Chen Tianxiang’s heart soften a little too. He quickly pushed the bag back at him. “I’ve already had breakfast.”

“I’ve had breakfast too. This one’s for you. I’ll be full after this last bite.”

The two of them kept pushing the bag back and forth, each one insisting the other take it. Qi Haiyang chuckled, stuffing the buns back into the bag. “It’s not even anything that great. Why make such a fuss? You can have it for lunch. Our school has a cafeteria, so it’s easier for you to get food there.”

He set the bag down on the ground but, like it contained a bomb, took off running. After a good ten meters, he turned around and shouted, “Xiang-ge, I didn’t know you were a traffic cop. That’s just… so! Cool!”

Qi Haiyang looked at him with wide-eyed admiration, his gaze practically sparkling. Chen Tianxiang couldn’t help but feel a little proud, but when he looked down at the bag on the ground, he realized that, aside from the buns, there was also that soft pink double-ended dildo inside…

“Hey! Get back here!” Chen Tianxiang suddenly realized that the buns weren’t the real gift. The double-ended dildo was!

But Qi Haiyang was fast. His long legs took him out of sight in the blink of an eye, and Chen Tianxiang couldn’t chase him down while on duty. His mind was buzzing. What was he supposed to do with this thing now? Throw it away? But what if someone else found it? Keep it? But he had no intention of using it, so why would he keep it?

Chen Tianxiang gritted his teeth. Just moments ago, he’d thought there was something somewhat endearing about that idiot. Turns out, he was just a creepy stalker and a sexual harasser!