Chapter 28 – Consort Lin’s Eternal Reign

Guan Lan began to avoid Zhuang Lin even more intensely, though for a reason entirely different from before.

Zhuang Lin, on the other hand, continued as usual, reporting to him every morning and evening, chattering about every trivial matter. Previously, Guan Lan would occasionally reply, but now he didn’t respond to a single message, afraid that anything he said might give the wrong signal or that Zhuang Lin would bring up that night again. If that happened, he’d be so embarrassed he might as well jump into a river.

However, unbeknownst to him, Guan Lan had developed a habit of frequently checking the messages Zhuang Lin sent.

Zhuang Lin: Today’s lunch.

Zhuang Lin: [Picture]

Zhuang Lin: Where do they get the courage to charge so much for this? It’s not even as good as what I can make.

Zhuang Lin: [Shared music: Love and Hate in Haste]

Zhuang Lin: This song’s not bad. How do you think I’d sound singing it?

Zhuang Lin: Definitely better than the original singer, right?

Zhuang Lin: “The fleeting light of a bustling world, the karma of three lifetimes, five hundred glances exchanged, yet you still won’t fall for me.”

Zhuang Lin: Sigh, who wrote these lyrics? So over-the-top.

Guan Lan knew Zhuang Lin was deliberately trying to get him to respond because he was the one who had written those lyrics.

Sure, they were a bit exaggerated, but the song was just a pop tune! So what if it wasn’t deep? Can’t I write a catchy song once in a while?

But Guan Lan held back.

Zhuang Lin: Are you busy?

Zhuang Lin: Or are you ignoring me on purpose?

Zhuang Lin: [Pouting]

Zhuang Lin: I feel like I’m being toyed with.

Zhuang Lin: You’re such a scumbag.

Zhuang Lin: [Super fierce]

Guan Lan clenched his teeth and still resisted replying.

Zhuang Lin: I’m thinking of moving into death metal.

Zhuang Lin: I think I’ve got a real talent for it.

Zhuang Lin: I’m so pale; I’d look amazing in goth makeup.

Zhuang Lin: If you don’t say anything, I’ll take that as a yes.

Zhuang Lin: My debut album will be called “Evil Corpse,” and the title track will be “Bloody Soul.”

Zhuang Lin: [Shared music: Evil Bleeding Soul]

Guan Lan: …That’s enough.

Zhuang Lin: Oh, you’re done with work?

Guan Lan: Aren’t you busy?

Zhuang Lin: No matter how busy I am, I always have time to think of you.

Guan Lan’s heart couldn’t take it.

He felt that after that night, Zhuang Lin’s demeanor had changed drastically. Now, he was completely shameless.

Before, Zhuang Lin would speak to him cautiously, afraid of upsetting him. Now, it seemed like he had found a sense of security and was letting himself go.

Guan Lan felt like he was losing control of the situation.

What could he do? Call Zhuang Lin out and sternly reject him again?

First, it wasn’t in his nature to be so harsh. They still had to work together, especially since he was about to produce Zhuang Lin’s album. He couldn’t let things get too awkward. Second, he had a feeling it wouldn’t make much of a difference, just like his first rejection hadn’t. Third… well, he didn’t really want to reject him.

Though he didn’t want to admit it, he did enjoy being liked by Zhuang Lin.

How… kind of shameless of him.

—

Zhuang Lin was browsing gossip threads online.

Recently, a hot thread has surfaced. The original poster claimed to be a small-time newcomer in the industry and revealed that Guan Lan had once propositioned him for a quid pro quo arrangement. That wasn’t even the worst part—the truly horrifying detail was that Guan Lan allegedly maintained a vast, hierarchical harem, divided into one Empress, two Noble Consorts, four Consorts, eight Imperial Concubines, sixteen Favored Attendants, and thirty-two Ladies of the Chamber, with an unlimited number of Beauties and Talents below them. Each rank came with a corresponding monthly stipend, and at the end of each year, promotions and demotions were made based on seniority and performance. Ladies of the Chamber could sign contracts with Tianlong, Favored Attendants could release singles, Imperial Concubines could release albums, and once you reached the rank of Consort, Guan Lan would personally write your title track.

The OP claimed that he had firmly rejected this shameless proposal and had subsequently faced retaliation from Guan Lan.

At first, everyone mocked the OP, saying he must be too bored after finishing “Summer Paradise” and should enroll in a tutoring class. At his age, he should be reading more classic literature and fewer palace intrigue novels. But as the OP continued to drop seemingly accurate insider information, some people began to waver, thinking that the entertainment industry was indeed a wild place where anything could happen. You could never predict just how depraved someone could be. Maybe this was true.

However, the “Guan Lan is a beast” narrative was old news, and the thread gradually veered off into a ranking of Guan Lan’s harem.

Zhuang Lin grew angrier the more he read, eventually slamming his mouse in frustration.

I’m just a Favored Attendant?!

And not even one of the higher-ranked ones!

Are you all blind?!

Unable to contain his anger, Zhuang Lin jumped into the fray himself:

“I mostly agree with the rankings above, but Zhuang Lin so low? Are you kidding me? Forget that he was personally scouted by Guan Lan—just look at the resources he’s gotten this year. With such a big push, he can’t even make it to Consort?”

The thread was still hot, and he quickly got replies.

“OP, harem rankings have to follow certain rules. Zhuang Lin may be favored, but he only rose to prominence this year. Ranks have to be earned step by step; everything is based on seniority. His starting point as a Favored Attendant is already much higher than others. According to the OP’s criteria, he’s just released an EP, which fits the Favored Attendant level. No issue here.”

“I’m the one who ranked Zhuang Lin as a Favored Attendant. Honestly, I think even that’s a bit high. Considering his good background—a returnee from a prestigious school—he was already given a special promotion.”

“I’m more interested in how OP knows about him being personally scouted. Got any insider info?”

“OP is too young, probably new here. Must not have seen how Guan Lan promoted Lu Qing back in the day—that was a true Mary Sue story, taking a bar girl and turning her into a minor song queen. Zhuang Lin’s nowhere near that level yet.”

“Zhuang Lin’s current favor is probably just a passing phase. Now there’s an even fresher face, Yang Yuze. Not only is he young, but he’s also loaded. Once Zhuang Lin’s debut album drops next year, he’ll be old news~”

Zhuang Lin smashed his keyboard.

The thread continued:

“Isn’t the Empress position a bit too definitive? That’s the Empress—equivalent to a successful rise to the top, marriage, and legal recognition. Everyone else is just a concubine. Do you really think anyone’s made it that far? I think it’s still vacant, with the highest rank being Noble Consort.”

“You’re naive. What counts as a successful rise? For women, it’s marriage, but for men? Guan Lan and Chen Jin live together. Isn’t that proof enough?”

“Hold on! Why is it automatically Chen Jin? We Zhou Junzhuo fans aren’t having it! Chen Jin only emerged this year too! Don’t just claim they live together without evidence! Don’t use that blurry surveillance photo from their neighborhood as proof; even their mothers wouldn’t recognize them in that!”

“Let’s be fair. If we use the OP’s criteria, no one can compare to Zhou Junzhuo—he’s released so many albums and songs, truly unrivaled in the harem. But Chen Jin’s different. He’s not a singer, so he can’t be ranked by that standard. In such a large harem, he’s the only one who isn’t a singer. Doesn’t that say something?”

“Now that you mention it, I’m starting to think Chen Jin is the true love, an unexpected addition. The Emperor’s taste is truly unique.”

After that, the thread devolved into a debate over whether Zhou Junzhuo or Chen Jin deserved the Empress title, with Zhuang Lin completely forgotten.

Zhuang Lin angrily closed the webpage and sent Guan Lan a message.

Zhuang Lin: Which Consort will His Majesty summon to his chambers tonight?

He thought Guan Lan would make him wait a while, but to his surprise, he got an instant reply.

Guan Lan: Let it be Favored Attendant Lin.

…

Great, now his phone was trashed too!

—

Yang Peiqing had been happy for a while, but then he started to feel something was off.

Of course, he fully supported his wife’s ambition to improve himself. But improving himself shouldn’t mean living at someone else’s house all the time!

He told Chen Jin, “Guan Lan helped you when you were in a tough spot, and we should definitely thank him for that. Let’s treat him to a nice meal sometime. But isn’t it a bit inappropriate for you to keep living at his place? After all, he’s your ex. Staying there too long isn’t good, is it?”

Chen Jin: “Then where should I live? My own place is still being renovated.”

Yang Peiqing: “Come live with me!”

Chen Jin: “You’re my ex too! Would that be any more appropriate?”

Yang Peiqing got anxious: “I’m not just your ex; I’m your next relationship too!”

Later, when Guan Lan heard about this, he told Chen Jin, “At this point, you should just come clean. We’ve been carrying this burden long enough. Why are two bottoms clinging to this charade?”

Chen Jin said no, “I need to give him a final IQ test before we get together. I want to see when he’ll figure it out on his own.”

Guan Lan: “What if he never figures it out?”

Chen Jin: “…Surely not, right?”

After thinking about it, he despairingly admitted it was indeed possible.

Chen Jin: “One year. I’ll give him one year. When did we officially get together? Two or three months ago? Let’s count from that day. If he still hasn’t figured it out after a year, I’ll tell him.”

Guan Lan went online, found the news article about the photo of them having dinner together, and set a reminder for one year from that date: “There, that’s the day.”

Chen Jin: “…I sincerely hope this reminder never gets used.”

Looking at it this way, their friendship had lasted roughly a hundred days, give or take.

They decided to go out and celebrate.

Dinner, shopping, a spa day, and finally, slathering mud masks on each other while painting their toenails.

Guan Lan: “This is the most feminine day I’ve had in thirty years.”

Chen Jin: “Since you put it that way, let’s skip the couple tattoos.”

Guan Lan: “…What were you planning to get?”

Chen Jin: “Each other’s initials on our ankles.”

Guan Lan: “Don’t you show your ankles on your show?”

Chen Jin: “If we’re filming a wilderness special, anything’s fair game. If we’re that worried, we’ll just have to get them on our butts.”

Guan Lan: “If you tattoo my name on your butt, you’ll never be able to explain it—not in this lifetime or the next.”

Chen Jin’s face lit up with an “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that” expression, and he pulled out his phone to search for temporary tattoo stickers on a shopping site.

A hundred days of friendship was long enough. Guan Lan contemplated pushing him into the hot spring and drowning him.