Chapter 62 – Me Too

At first, Jiang Ruo didn’t understand how such things could be “tried out.” Later, he was tossed about, his body either taut with tension or on the brink of collapse. Every sense heightened, he emitted moans he could hardly believe were his own, each pore resonating with the aftertaste of sound under Xi Yufeng’s guidance.

In matters like these, Xi Yufeng reclaimed control. Whether it was the initial preparations or getting down to business, Jiang Ruo was much like a doll at someone’s mercy, occasionally objecting only because of uncomfortable positions, but his flexibility allowed him to adjust to ensure comfort for both.

They moved from the shower to the sink, then back to the living room sofa.

Fortunately, most household items in the apartment had been added after Jiang Ruo moved in, including the sofa covers and the carpet underfoot. Otherwise, facing various stains afterward, even scrubbing with disinfectant ten thousand times wouldn’t save Jiang Ruo from shame when confronting the landlord.

When the moon was high in the sky, they returned to the bathroom.

Jiang Ruo was too exhausted to stand, his legs weak. Xi Yufeng supported him with one hand while the other caressed him, seemingly washing him.

Just as they were about to reignite their passion, Jiang Ruo turned his head, glaring at the man behind him with little force. “You’re so energetic?”

Xi Yufeng looked at him calmly and asked, “Do you believe me now?”

This situation left Jiang Ruo no choice but to believe.

After Xi Yufeng finished smoking a cigarette on the balcony and returned to the room, Jiang Ruo was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

As he approached, he could hear Jiang Ruo mumbling, “We’re both men, why such a huge difference?”

He was referring to the disparity between Xi Yufeng and himself in terms of stamina and endurance, as well as how Xi Yufeng could make him experience ecstasy with just two fingers.

To this, Xi Yufeng was quite modest. “I was afraid of hurting you.”

Jiang Ruo turned to look at him, his voice slightly shy but sincere. “Although there’s no comparison, except for that time, every time with you… has been very comfortable.”

The meaning of “that time” was clear.

Before Jiang Ruo could regret his words, Xi Yufeng’s focus shifted elsewhere.

“No comparisons?” he asked. “Don’t you have a fuck buddy?”

Jiang Ruo took a breath and abruptly pulled the blanket over his face in an act of evasion.

It was a clear lie to escape.

Xi Yufeng rarely pressed the issue, but he pursued, “Chen Muxin?”

Through the blanket, Jiang Ruo answered “no,” then said “there isn’t,” his voice muffled but understandable.

There was silence outside, leading Jiang Ruo to believe the matter was settled. He cautiously peeked out with one eye.

Then, the person waiting outside pounced, swiftly pulling off the blanket. A possessive kiss fell upon him, overwhelming him.

In the darkness, Xi Yufeng said, “He likes you.”

His voice was muffled, weighed down by an unseen melancholy.

Jiang Ruo couldn’t help but laugh. “So many people like me, am I supposed to respond to all of them?”

Xi Yufeng kissed Jiang Ruo again, using a commanding tone in their private space to make a request. “No.”

The next day, Saturday, Jiang Ruo decided to rest at home.

His method of resting involved eating and watching movies.

Selecting a musical, Jiang Ruo sat on the sofa for a while, involuntarily swaying to the beat and melody of the music.

As he lifted his leg, his ankle was caught. Looking up, he saw Xi Yufeng on the other side, holding him with his left hand, the one he usually used for smoking.

Trying twice without success to free himself, Jiang Ruo looked at him with a hint of frustration. “Don’t you have work today?”

Xi Yufeng didn’t answer. His slender fingers brushed past the protruding ankle, traveling upward along the calf to the knee.

Clutching with his thumb, he applied slight pressure, creating a convenient position.

Jiang Ruo’s breathing was already disordered. As he contemplated whether to succumb to indulgence or resist for the sake of being able to get up smoothly the next day, the ringing of a phone interrupted the intimacy.

It was Xi Yufeng’s call. Whatever the person on the other end said made Xi Yufeng’s already grim expression darken further.

Hanging up, Xi Yufeng released his hold, stood up, and said, “Something came up, I need to leave.”

Jiang Ruo asked, “Company business?”

“No.”

“Where are you going then?”

“The hospital.”

“Is the person in the hospital your… father?”

“Yes, there’s a disturbance.”

With that, Xi Yufeng picked up the coat thrown on the sofa.

Once he put it on and turned around, he found Jiang Ruo standing up as well, picking up the down jacket also discarded nearby.

“I’ll go with you,” Jiang Ruo said, heading toward the door faster than Xi Yufeng. “Don’t worry, I won’t cause trouble. When we get there, I’ll wait in the car for you.”

Though he said this, once they arrived at the hospital, Shi Mingxu hurriedly approached to explain the situation. Xi Yufeng listened while walking, took the elevator to the top floor single ward, and pushed the door open straight away.

Inside, the curtains were wide open. Xi Chengli, in his patient gown, sat in a wheelchair. He had gained weight since entering the hospital, but it appeared hollow.

Seeing Xi Yufeng, Xi Chengli said irritably, “Meeting you is harder than climbing a mountain, yet you immediately came when you heard your brother was here.”

Xi Yufeng walked to the table and poured water from a thermos. “Xi Wangchen’s actions are erratic. I’m worried he might offend you.”

“Offend?” Xi Chengli snorted again. “Even if he’s erratic, can he be as ruthless as you, who crippled your own father and confined him in the hospital?”

The sound of water stopped. Xi Yufeng carried the cup over and placed it by Xi Chengli’s mouth.

He didn’t answer Xi Chengli’s question but said, “So many people come and go here every day. How many do you think genuinely care about you?”

“They all hope you die sooner rather than later.”

Seemingly stunned by Xi Yufeng’s words, Xi Chengli’s lips quivered, nearly choking him.

He wasn’t unaware that things had changed outside, nor was he oblivious to the fact that his fate now rested in Xi Yufeng’s hands. However, habits formed from long-term power made it difficult for him to accept the current situation of being constrained in every way and the bleak life ahead.

Yet, he feared death even more.

When faced with danger, people can quickly assess the situation.

Swallowing a sip of cold water, Xi Chengli said, “Your brother… Xi Wangchen has never wanted to compete with you. He merely wants to reclaim the shares that belong to them, which are the foundation for their survival.”

Xi Yufeng replied coolly, “Belong to them? Why do I remember that everything in the Xi family comes from the Qiao family? If it truly comes down to dividing assets, what does it have to do with that lady surnamed Xiao?”

Xi Chengli stared at Xi Yufeng with wide eyes, seemingly not expecting him to be so ruthless.

Understanding his meaning, Xi Yufeng said, “Ruthless is you. Didn’t you believe in cause and effect?”

He straightened up, placing the cup back on the table. “You taught me through your actions that for what you desire, you can resort to any means necessary.”

“You can lie here at ease, don’t hatch any schemes. Otherwise, I don’t mind changing my surname. After all, I’ve never cared whether I’m surnamed Xi or Qiao.”

Exiting the ward, Xiao Yin and her son, who had disappeared somewhere earlier, reappeared. Seeing Xi Yufeng, Xi Wangchen shrank back, while Xiao Yin strode forward with her head held high.

“Xi Yufeng, stop… stop right there!”

“What’s in your hand? Did Xi Chengli transfer the house to you?”

Xi Yufeng had no intention of acknowledging her, avoiding her as he passed.

His indifferent attitude easily ignited Xiao Yin’s anger. She quickened her pace to catch up, reaching out to grab him, only to be blocked by someone suddenly emerging from the corridor.

Jiang Ruo spread his arms, blocking Xiao Yin’s path. “Don’t touch him.”

Xi Yufeng was taken aback. He hadn’t expected Jiang Ruo to appear here.

Later, Xi Yufeng asked Jiang Ruo to wait downstairs first and pulled Shi Mingxu aside to stand guard. Jiang Ruo hesitantly retreated to the stairwell entrance, occasionally poking his head out to check the situation.

Saying they would chat privately, in reality, Xi Yufeng and Xiao Yin had little to discuss.

At most, it offered her a chance for repentance.

However, what kind of person was Xiao Yin? Over twenty years ago, she disregarded propriety, and now, cornered, why would she bother pretending?

Seeing her wealth and status vanish, with her personal safety threatened, she had brought her son to the hospital today seeking Xi Chengli’s help to secure a future for them.

Upon confirming that what Xi Yufeng held was a property transfer agreement, Xiao Yin instantly sobered. To Xi Yufeng, she and her son were akin to two ants that could be crushed with a finger.

Reason told her to humble herself, perhaps even kneel and beg for mercy, but she couldn’t swallow her pride.

She spat out, “Now that you have everything you want, you can act without restraint, right?”

Xi Yufeng watched her coldly, saying nothing.

What Xiao Yin hated most was his apathetic demeanor, reminding her of Qiao Jiamue, the high and mighty young lady who always looked down on her with her head held high, as if to say — only I am the legitimate Mrs. Xi, what are you?

But what about the legitimate wife? Wasn’t she defeated?

No matter how good a son she bore, wasn’t she still unable to enjoy the boundless wealth?

“Regardless of your abilities, your mother died before me, didn’t she?” Xiao Yin laughed, revealing her greatest “achievement” in her most desperate moment, “She desperately wanted Xi Chengli to spare a glance for her, but Xi Chengli’s eyes were only for me.”

She laughed almost crazily, “What Qiao Jiamue couldn’t obtain in her entire life, I, Xiao Yin, obtained effortlessly… just based on this point, she can never compare to me in her entire life!”

Downstairs, that wild yet despairing laughter echoed in his ears.

Unbeknownst to him, it had started raining. Xi Yufeng raised his eyes to gaze at the dark sky until an umbrella covered his head.

Turning his head, he saw Jiang Ruo reaching out to catch the raindrops, then quickly retracting his hand from the chill.

“When we left, the weather didn’t look good; it’s raining as expected.” Jiang Ruo also turned his head, looking at Xi Yufeng with a light-hearted tone. “Luckily, I brought an umbrella. Let’s go.”

On the road, Xi Yufeng asked Jiang Ruo if he was willing to accompany him to a place.

Jiang Ruo glanced at the few sheets of paper in Xi Yufeng’s hand. “Your house?”

He remembered Aunt Fang mentioning that the main residence of the Xi family was left by Xi Yufeng’s birth mother.

Which “home” this referred to was self-evident.

Xi Yufeng responded with a soft “hmm,” and Jiang Ruo said, “Sure, I’ve been curious to see where you grew up.”

The mansion in the southern part of the city hadn’t been inhabited for some time. Ascending the mountain road, the sound of rain against the car window seemed desolate.

The interior was spacious, but despite being spotlessly clean, Jiang Ruo felt as if dust would fly up with each step.

The ground floor was slightly damp.

Upon entering, Xi Yufeng cracked open a window and turned on the lights in the living room. The old-fashioned crystal chandelier cast uneven shadows on the floor.

Jiang Ruo stood beside him, looking together at a verdant tree outside the window, drenched in rain.

After a moment, Xi Yufeng took a few steps inside, then turned around, his tranquil gaze falling on Jiang Ruo.

Jiang Ruo understood — it was asking if he wanted to go upstairs together.

The wooden staircase railing was smooth and round. Treading on it produced a faint creaking sound.

Xi Yufeng’s room was at the end of the second-floor hallway. Pushing the door open, the first thing he saw was a stark white.

All the furniture was covered with dust-proof cloths. The air was permeated with a more intense scent of decay than downstairs.

There was hardly any trace of Xi Yufeng’s scent. Jiang Ruo circled the room, stopping in front of the desk. “You didn’t smoke here?”

Xi Yufeng was picking up a book from the bookshelf. Hearing this, he raised his head. “I didn’t know how to at that time.”

“Did you learn it abroad?”

“Mm.”

“After nineteen?”

“Mm.”

Pausing, Jiang Ruo asked again, “Not letting me smoke is because you don’t want me to become like you…”

Though he didn’t utter the word, both knew its meaning.

Alone, or lonely.

Perhaps even numb.

Putting down the book, Xi Yufeng walked to the window, looking out through the glass without opening it.

As if accustomed to a life of self-imposed isolation, silence and darkness were his norms.

But now, it was different.

He had let another person in.

Jiang Ruo approached Xi Yufeng, reaching for his hand hanging by his side. “Let’s go out.”

Xi Yufeng looked down, focusing on their clasped hands, and said softly, “There’s a storage room in the attic, do you want to — ”

“No,” Jiang Ruo refused without hesitation.

He blinked lightly, his eyes shimmering with moisture. “I won’t force you to eat braised pork. Nor will I, out of curiosity, make you stay in a place that stirs up painful memories.”

Back downstairs, sitting on the sofa for a while, Xi Yufeng wondered how Jiang Ruo knew about the braised pork incident.

Their hands hadn’t parted since they joined. Now, Jiang Ruo was playing with his hand. “Aunt Fang mentioned that you liked braised pork. The first meal we had together included braised pork, but you didn’t touch it with your chopsticks.”

Xi Yufeng fell silent.

Braised pork was what Xi Chengli loved, especially sweet. He always added a lot of rock sugar.

As a child, to lure Xi Chengli home, braised pork with doubled sugar content was often prepared at home. To avoid criticism from outsiders, Qiao Jiamue would always claim it was “for Xiao Feng to eat.” Over time, even Aunt Fang got confused.

Never did he expect Jiang Ruo to notice.

Still, Xi Yufeng’s focus drifted again: “You were paying attention to me that early?”

Jiang Ruo dug a hole for himself, pressing hard into Xi Yufeng’s palm, scratching and rolling, expressing dissatisfaction.

“I said it was all about beauty tempting me; the whole table was there for your face… I just had to take a few more glances.”

Xi Yufeng chuckled.

After tidying up, they planned to return home. Just as they were leaving, Aunt Fang called.

Aunt Fang heard they were at the main residence and hurriedly said she was coming over, insisting that Jiang Ruo must stay for a meal.

Thus, they returned to the sofa.

Rainy days were perfect for laziness, ideal for cuddling at home and watching movies.

The living room had a TV. Jiang Ruo grabbed the remote and turned it on, randomly selecting a movie. Crisp bird songs accompanied by gentle background music played as the golden sun climbed above the treetops, illuminating the entire room.

Xi Yufeng glanced over and saw Pride & Prejudice.

Almost immediately, Jiang Ruo preemptively explained, “I picked it randomly, there’s no hidden jab at you.”

A perfect illustration of how once bitten by a snake, one fears even a rope for ten years.

While Xi Yufeng found it amusing, he couldn’t help feeling wistful.

Parting his thin lips, Xi Yufeng said, “The past… I’m sorry.”

Jiang Ruo was momentarily taken aback.

Naturally, he knew the “past” referred to the preconceived notions, contemptuous speculations, and subsequent misjudgments.

But…

“Haven’t we discussed this? Those weren’t your intentions.” His gaze fell on the TV screen. “Moreover, I’ve never blamed you.”

You were raised this way, and now you’re opening yourself up to me. I’m heartbroken for you, how could I blame you?

Halfway through the movie, Jiang Ruo couldn’t sit still and went to the kitchen to brew two cups of tea.

Only after brewing did he remember that the polyphenols in tea could cause insomnia. He extended his hand to pass it over but then retracted it. Xi Yufeng reached for empty air.

“You should just drink plain water,” Jiang Ruo instructed. “I’ll taste the tea for you.”

Tasting led to lying down, his head resting on Xi Yufeng’s lap, finding a comfortable position.

Xi Yufeng recalled that Jiang Ruo often compared him to a cat.

Now, it was clearly Jiang Ruo who resembled a cat unwilling to leave a warm spot.

His tone was lazy. “Businesspeople should know about reciprocity, right?”

“Of course.”

“Then tell me, when did you start noticing me?”

What he really wanted to ask was — when did you realize you had feelings for me?

Fortunately, Xi Yufeng’s understanding ability was fairly good. After a brief pause, he replied, “If you’re asking about a specific moment, I can’t pinpoint it. What I can confirm is that after you left, I’ve been regretting it.”

And regret, was a continuous pain, lingering and shadowing.

It reminded Jiang Ruo of a phrase — people use the pain after separation to gauge the depth of love.

Xi Yufeng said, “Initially, I thought I could live without you, that I could endure.”

He had tried forced abstinence, suppressing the urge to see Jiang Ruo. He kept himself busier, chain-smoking, but it was futile. Whenever he was idle, closed his eyes, Jiang Ruo’s figure filled his vision.

Later, upon hearing that sentence, “I’m with him not for his benefits,” he finally made up his mind.

Jiang Ruo was momentarily stunned. “Was Sister Zhou’s singles party attended by you too?”

Xi Yufeng said, “At that time, I was resting in the adjacent room, separated from you by only a door.”

“If you weren’t there, didn’t hear it, would you…?”

“No. Perhaps it would have taken more time, but ultimately, I would have made the same decision.”

Xi Yufeng described himself as a bowstring stretched to its limit.

“Sooner or later, it would snap. Your words hastened the inevitable outcome.”

“Do you believe in destiny?”

“I didn’t originally, but because of you, I’m willing to believe once.”

Speaking of this, it was impossible not to mention the highly publicized annulment of engagement incident.

Xi Yufeng recounted the process in a matter-of-fact manner, from contacting his grandfather who lived in Los Angeles permanently, to forcing Xi Chengli to sign the agreement later, and even trading shares for the Meng family’s forgiveness. It seemed as if everything fell into place naturally.

But even without witnessing it firsthand or understanding the intricacies of business warfare, Jiang Ruo could guess the risks involved. Any slip-up could have led to irreparable consequences.

Although Xi Yufeng ultimately won the bet, after experiencing such turmoil, what he lost was far more than shares and money. The invisible wounds and blows required untold effort to mend before returning to normalcy.

No wonder he was always so tired.

Unable to remain lying down, Jiang Ruo sat up, resting his chin on Xi Yufeng’s shoulder. He raised his arm and slowly wrapped it around him.

“Was it worth it?” Jiang Ruo asked. “If you lost, failed, what would you do?”

Xi Yufeng also hugged him back, saying in a deep voice, “As long as you’re still willing to accept me, it’s not a failure.”

At this moment, a hug was insufficient.

Jiang Ruo knelt in front of Xi Yufeng, gently pushed him away, then eagerly leaned in to kiss him.

Kissing fiercely, he learned to use his tongue to pry open the teeth, licking and sucking, clumsily exposing his most primitive, passionate attachment.

Although he was later overtaken by Xi Yufeng, who adjusted their positions, pressing him onto the sofa until his entire body went limp from the kiss.

After the kiss, Jiang Ruo licked his lips in satisfaction and said, “Even if you really lost, it doesn’t matter. I can support you.”

He opened his mobile banking app and showed Xi Yufeng his income for the past half year. “Sister Zheng said that after winning the award, my value increased. Making money isn’t a dream anymore.”

In reality, how could Xi Yufeng need anyone’s support? Even if he lost his job, with the stocks and funds in his possession, he could still live comfortably.

But he enjoyed seeing Jiang Ruo radiate confidence for his achievements. Xi Yufeng said, “With those words from you, I’m not afraid anymore.”

A while later, Xi Yufeng noticed Jiang Ruo turning away several times, raising his hand then dropping it quickly.

When he asked what was wrong, Jiang Ruo shook his head without speaking. Xi Yufeng helplessly reached out to turn his chin, meeting a pair of red-rimmed eyes, his heart instantly melting.

This was the first time Jiang Ruo didn’t deliberately avoid him, allowing tears to fall freely.

Jiang Ruo struggled to steady his breathing, though he still choked. “You called me, saying you loved me. I thought… it was a dream.”

“Later, realizing it wasn’t a dream, I wondered if you were deceiving me.”

Including when he waited outside Xi Yufeng’s house, Jiang Ruo was anxious and uncertain, because subconsciously, he didn’t believe that Xi Yufeng could truly fall in love with him.

Xi Yufeng immediately said no, and Jiang Ruo couldn’t help but smile, tears mingling with his smile, like a rainbow after the rain.

“I know. What I want to say is, it’s not that you can’t escape my palm, but your confessed love gave me courage.”

Jiang Ruo gazed at Xi Yufeng. “What you can give me, I can give you the same.”

Xi Yufeng was momentarily dazed.

For no reason, he recalled the figure blocking in front of him during the day at the hospital, and the umbrella sheltering over his head.

As well as the words spoken to Xi Chengli in the ward.

— Every day, so many people come and go here. How many do you think genuinely care about you? They all wish you’d die sooner.

Thinking about it now, these words applied equally to himself.

The higher one stands, the more people aim at them as targets.

A group of people eyed him greedily, plotting to bring him down or trying to gain something from him.

Only the person before him was different. Consistent with what he saw, Jiang Ruo’s heart was clear and pure, a precious treasure in the murky world, rare and invaluable.

He wanted to protect Jiang Ruo, and how could Jiang Ruo not want to protect him?

Therefore, even if it meant exchanging everything, it was worth it.

His thumb swept across the corner of his eye, wiping away the still warm moisture.

Jiang Ruo belatedly felt embarrassed, trying to turn away, but Xi Yufeng held his jaw with his palm, preventing him from moving. While wiping away his tears, he comforted him, “You can cry. Didn’t you say you’d cry if someone ridiculed you for being short?”

Jiang Ruo gritted his teeth. “That was when I was a kid!”

Xi Yufeng chuckled, full of indulgence.

In fact, Jiang Ruo had always known that beneath Xi Yufeng’s cold exterior lay an incredibly tender core.

So there was no need to hide, capitalizing on his teary state, he could ask for anything.

“Xi Yufeng.”

“Mm.”

“Have you forgotten something?”

“What?”

“Facing me — ”

“I love you.”

After a long time, their lips parted only a fraction, their breaths still intertwined, reluctant to part.

Picking up the unfinished conversation, Jiang Ruo’s voice was soft because of lack of oxygen, yet firm. “Me too.”

“Xi Yufeng, I love you.”