CTS 60

Four years ago, not long after Zhou Yang returned to the country, he gave Shen Mo a call and asked to meet at their usual spot. He said he wanted them to run away together.

Shen Mo never showed up.

But he didn’t go to work either. He even turned off his phone and stayed home alone, cleaning the apartment from top to bottom.

That day, Ji Mingxuan came back reeking of alcohol. He was drunk and had stumbled somewhere along the way, looking completely disheveled. When he walked through the door, he almost didn’t recognize Shen Mo. Once he did, though, his behavior turned strange. He pinned Shen Mo down on the sofa and took him hard. When Ji Mingxuan bit into his neck, Shen Mo felt like prey caught in the palm of a hunter.

They didn’t get up until noon the next day. Ji Mingxuan borrowed Shen Mo’s phone to call in sick. The moment the phone turned on, it buzzed with a string of message alerts. Shen Mo assumed they were from Zhou Yang, but Ji Mingxuan simply smiled, and deleted them right in front of him.

That afternoon, Shen Mo went out with Ji Mingxuan’s driver to buy medicine. It was then he learned that Ji Mingxuan had originally planned to go to Jinxiu Villa that night.

Back then, Shen Mo couldn’t guess what was in his heart. Now, he understood everything. Ji Mingxuan had thought Shen Mo had left with Zhou Yang. That was why he drank himself into a mess. He sent messages begging him to stay, then deleted them all himself.

Although Shen Mo had recovered his memory long ago, a memory is still just a memory. Until this moment, he had never truly realized what it meant to be loved so deeply by someone.

Ji Mingxuan had waited for him at Jinxiu Villa.

But he never came.

“Uncle,” Ji Ning tugged on Shen Mo’s arm beside him and quietly asked, “are you crying?”

“No,” Shen Mo came back to his senses and wiped the streak of water from the phone screen. “Uncle’s not crying.”

Ji Ning was young, but not so easily fooled. He pointed to Shen Mo’s eyes and said, “Your eyes are all red.”

Then he asked, “Why are you crying?”

Shen Mo turned to look at him. “Xiao Ning, can I give you a hug?”

“Okay.” Ji Ning opened his arms, beaming. “Hug, hug!”

Shen Mo gently embraced him in the fading light of sunset.

Children’s bodies ran warmer than adults. Held close, Ji Ning’s warmth felt especially comforting. Shen Mo stroked the soft hair on his head and couldn’t help but think—this child was connected to Ji Mingxuan by blood.

He held Ji Ning tighter and asked, “Xiao Ning, does your dad love you?”

Ji Ning seemed unsure what ‘love’ really meant. After thinking about it, he shouted, “Love!”

Shen Mo smiled faintly. After a moment, he asked again, “Then… does your dad love your mom too?”

Ji Ning looked a little confused, but answered even louder, “Yes!”

Shen Mo said, “That’s really good.”

It really was. So, so good.

He took a deep breath, let go of Ji Ning, and patted his shoulder. “Alright, let’s go play in the living room.”

He put the old phone back under the pillow, then left the room with Ji Ning.

They hadn’t been sitting in the living room long when Ji Mingxuan returned.

He had been busy all day. His suit jacket was draped over his arm, and he wore only a pale-colored dress shirt, which subtly outlined the curve of his waist.

The moment Ji Ning saw him, he forgot all about Shen Mo and ran over, shouting, “Daddy!”

Ji Mingxuan reached out and scooped him up into his arms. “Were you good today? Did you listen to Uncle?”

Ji Ning replied proudly, “Of course.”

Then he turned to Shen Mo to confirm. “Uncle, didn’t I?”

Only then did Ji Mingxuan’s gaze fall on Shen Mo.

Shen Mo gave a quiet “yes” and met his eyes across the space between them. It felt like a distance too vast to cross.

No, it wasn’t just a feeling. It was real. That distance truly existed.

They had dinner at the hotel restaurant. Because Ji Ning was with them, they didn’t order any wine and just picked a few simple dishes. Ji Mingxuan was refined and graceful, tending to Ji Ning while making light conversation with Shen Mo, handling everything flawlessly.

Shen Mo wasn’t much of a talker to begin with, and tonight he was even quieter. But his eyes never left Ji Mingxuan.

Ji Mingxuan said, “I was going to take you out to eat, but with Ji Ning here, it’s hard to go anywhere.”

Shen Mo replied, “That’s how it is when you have a child. Everything has to revolve around them.”

Ji Mingxuan gave a small smile and casually wiped the corner of Ji Ning’s mouth.

Shen Mo watched them gently, as if looking at a peaceful and beautiful dream.

But his soul had long drifted elsewhere.

It had returned to that night seven years ago, or maybe even further back. That rainy evening when he first held that key in his hand.

From the next table came a loud clatter of silverware. A sharp clang rang out.

Shen Mo jolted, as if the sound had shattered the dream. He abruptly stood up from his seat.

Ji Mingxuan looked at him, surprised.

Shen Mo’s palms were soaked in sweat. He realized he had lost control and slowly sat back down, picking up his glass and taking a sip of water.

Ji Mingxuan glanced at him. “Tomorrow…”

Shen Mo cut him off. “Mr. Ji.”

No, he couldn’t wait for tomorrow. Who knew what might happen in the next moment?

He asked quickly, “Mr. Ji, are you free tonight?”

Ji Mingxuan raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t I free right now?”

“I mean after dinner.”

“Nothing much going on. The only important thing is getting Ji Ning to sleep.”

Shen Mo glanced at Ji Ning. The boy was busy poking at his rice bowl with a spoon, not paying any attention to the adults’ conversation.

So Shen Mo said, “Once Xiao Ning is asleep, could I have just an hour of your time… no, even thirty minutes would be enough.”

“For what?”

“I want to draw a portrait of you,” Shen Mo said, looking straight at Ji Mingxuan. His voice was a little hoarse. “We made that promise a long time ago, didn’t we?”