LS 97

He always thought that if he ever dated, it would naturally be with a woman. No one ever told him it had to be that way, but that’s just how he believed things were. For all 27 years of Kwon Moonhyuk’s life, it had seemed perfectly obvious that relationships were between men and women. But yesterday felt like he’d been hit upside the head.

He couldn’t even begin to describe the swirl of emotions he felt. It wasn’t disgust. He didn’t think it was weird, either. There are all kinds of people in the world, and people are diverse by nature.

Moonhyuk sat blankly as his cereal turned to mush, replaying Dohee’s words in his head over and over again. Now that he knew, he couldn’t help but think back, had he ever said or done anything to make Dohee uncomfortable? Thankfully, he couldn’t recall any moments where he’d brought up romance, so he probably hadn’t caused offense.

He let out a short sigh.

He didn’t know. He felt like he shouldn’t be thinking this way, but his thoughts were heading in strange directions. When he first heard Dohee’s words, he’d been confused and flustered, but that had only lasted a moment. Now, what kept surfacing in his mind were Dohee’s words: I don’t have a boyfriend.

And… the thought that Dohee might have dated other men before, it made him feel strange. He couldn’t quite name the feeling.

Dohee was handsome. And pretty. He had a great personality, was kind, dressed well, spoke well, played games well. From Moonhyuk’s perspective, Dohee was pretty much perfect. The idea that someone like Dohee had never been in a relationship seemed ridiculous. Sure, he didn’t have a boyfriend now, but he must have had one at some point.

He picked up the barely touched bowl of cereal. He had no appetite. He’d never once left food unfinished because he lost his appetite, but now, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t swallow a single bite. Even though it was supposed to be sweet chocolate, it all tasted bitter.

After clearing the bowl, Moonhyuk slumped down on the sofa. A deep sigh escaped him. He couldn’t understand what this feeling was. Maybe he’d just thought too much. His temples throbbed. Pressing the area around his eyes, he sighed again out of habit.

For some reason, he felt like crying.

💎

“Hyung.”

“Uh… huh?”

“Did you sleep well?”

Moonhyuk had barely started studying when Dohee’s voice cut through his whirlwind of thoughts. It was just after noon. The door to Dohee’s room opened, and when Moonhyuk turned around in surprise, their eyes met, Dohee looked like he had already showered.

He greeted him as naturally as ever. Moonhyuk didn’t even know what kind of expression he should make, but Dohee acted like nothing had happened, even asking if he’d eaten. Moonhyuk’s mouth fell open.

Was it all just a dream…?

“Want lunch?”

Dohee asked casually, pulling various side dishes out of the fridge. Moonhyuk nodded automatically.

“How about soybean paste stew?”

“…Sounds good.”

Dohee smiled and told him to wait a bit, then started moving around the kitchen. Watching Dohee bustle around, Moonhyuk blinked blankly. Suddenly, he was starving. Just moments ago he’d had no appetite, but now he felt like he could eat two full bowls of rice.

He rubbed his stomach in confusion. All Dohee had done was greet him like usual and start making stew, but somehow, his appetite returned in full force. It was like the tangled mess in his head had vanished. The smell of food soon filled the entire apartment.

As he stood up to help Dohee set the table, Moonhyuk found himself thinking:

How many other people have tasted Dohee’s cooking…?

He knew it was a pointless, stupid thought. But he couldn’t stop it. He was aware that something about him was off, but he had no idea what to do.

That tight, clogged feeling in his chest was back again.

💎

“Hey~”

A small cafe in a quiet neighborhood. From the corner seat, Jinhee waved at Dohee as he walked in. Dohee sat across from him and unwrapped his scarf.

“You’re early.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Baek Dohee, but you’re exactly seventeen minutes late.”

“Ugh, I drove. Had to circle around forever to find a parking spot.”

“What? You drove here? It’s not even far from your place, and parking around here sucks. I thought for sure you’d just take a cab.”

Truthfully, he’d only spent about five minutes looking for a spot. But Dohee just shrugged. Whether it was five minutes or seventeen, what did it matter? He had to bring the car anyway since he’d dropped Moonhyuk off at work. He couldn’t be bothered to explain every little thing.

As Dohee blinked blankly at him, Jinhee pouted. He was the one who asked to meet, after all, so he had no right to interrogate him. And really, the fact that this stubborn homebody even agreed to meet him was miracle enough.

“Want coffee?”

“You’re buying. I’ll take an iced Americano.”

“Okay.”

As Jinhee got up to order, Dohee added,

“And three choco macadamia cookies.”

“You? Ordering cookies?”

Dohee just raised an eyebrow in reply. Though puzzled, Jinhee didn’t press and headed to the counter.

He remembered hearing from Yeohoo once that the choco macadamia cookies here were really good. Moonhyuk would probably like them. Of course, he’d probably devour all three in just a few bites.

Even after coming out to Moonhyuk last night, Dohee’s mind was still in chaos. He’d barely slept, and his condition was wrecked the whole day. His head had been a mess until well past 7 a.m. He kept telling himself it’s no big deal and just act natural, but part of him couldn’t help feeling uneasy.

Honestly, he’d worried that Moonhyuk might avoid him when he opened the door in the morning. Sure, the Moonhyuk he knew wasn’t like that, but you never know with people. The nervousness and tension were separate from the trust he had when coming out to him.

Thankfully, Moonhyuk hadn’t run. He didn’t avoid him. He helped set the table while Dohee cooked, and ate two bowls of rice. Sure, he spaced out a little and fumbled here and there, but considering what Dohee had feared, his reaction wasn’t bad. If he’d acted like nothing happened at all, that might’ve actually been more disappointing.

While Moonhyuk studied, Dohee stayed in the game room and hunted with the IngSupp character. But he couldn’t focus, he kept wanting to peek through the door. Just beyond the thin wall, Moonhyuk sat in the living room like a ghost. He’d taken off his headphones, muted all game sounds, and was simply moving his hands mechanically while listening for anything outside the room. But not even the sound of Moonhyuk’s breathing reached him.

Damn soundproofing. Dohee gritted his teeth, cursing the extra care he’d taken when renovating the room.

In the end, he quietly opened the door and peeked out. He expected to see Moonhyuk studying – but instead, he found him sitting in a chair, hands idle, staring out the window.

Glaring at his still figure, Dohee silently begged whatever god was listening to just let him know what’s going on in that small head. Of course, that prayer went unanswered. He really should’ve practiced religion or something. Too late for regrets now.

Dohee tried not to bother Moonhyuk until it was time for his shift at the internet cafe. In truth, seeing how lost in thought he was? That was a good sign. Dohee had dropped that “bomb” exactly to make Moonhyuk’s head spin.

Because Kwon Moonhyuk needed to start seeing Baek Dohee as a potential partner. That was the only way this relationship could move forward. It takes two people to make a relationship. No matter how much Dohee danced solo, it wouldn’t amount to anything.

There’s no way someone who’s already sprinting ahead can match the pace of someone still tying their shoelaces. If he wanted to run together, he had to wait. For now, the best thing he could do was treat Moonhyuk naturally and wait quietly. If he waited long enough, eventually the tide of thoughts would carry Moonhyuk to where Dohee stood.

Dohee pushed down the impatience in his chest and focused on grinding with IngSupp character. Nothing cleared your head like repetitive tasks, and SoGod’s tedious hunting system was one of the best mindless grinds around. He used to curse it for being a waste of time and energy, but right now, it felt like a godsend.

Snorting at himself, Dohee chuckled bitterly. What a damn hypocrite. People really were fickle creatures.

Anyway, Jinhee had messaged him out of the blue just as he’d finished getting ready to drive Moonhyuk to work.