CHAPTERS
I've started having insomnia again, and I ended up smoking an entire pack of cigarettes last night.My craving for cigarettes had lessened during the recent period, but it spiraled out of control after I decided to move out.Brother Baichuan probably doesn't want me to leave, always showing a side of him that's completely different from his usual self when we look at houses.He's picky and critical, which is quite amusing.But he hasn't said anything about wanting me to stay, so I shouldn't get ahead of…- 87.2 K • Completed
- I woke up in the morning and saw that Jiangluo's door was open. Initially, I thought he had woken up and was ready to wash up, so I planned to call him out. But when I stood at the doorway, I found that the guy was still asleep, with the little one snuggling and wriggling on his chest.The scene was adorable, captivating my gaze.I reached into the pocket of my pajama pants, but my phone wasn't there. I didn't want to waste time fetching it, so I gave up on taking a photo and instead focused on engraving the…
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- I had been feeling particularly exhausted lately, often zoning out when there was nothing to do.Lying on the bed, doing absolutely nothing.But such moments of tranquility were rare; before long, Yi Li's messages or calls would come through.I had already visited his office three times, agreeing that I wouldn’t share the details of our therapy sessions with anyone.In truth, I was just afraid he’d tell Brother Baichuan.The sordid things I had experienced and witnessed shouldn’t be brought up again.If it…
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- I found that my life couldn't seem to escape Xu Zhao's shadow.First, he took on Bolin's case, then he tangled with Jiangluo, and now, unbelievably, he was mixed up with Yi Li as well.Was it really true that the more you hated someone, the more they'd insist on making their presence known in your world?Xu Zhao was also taken aback when he saw me enter. Neither of us spoke first, while Yi Li, full of cheer, stood up to greet me and said to Xu Zhao, "Let me introduce you!"Just as I was about to say we already…
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- I've lost sleep again, this time because of Brother Baichuan.Truth be told, I've pondered countless times why Bolin would like me, why despite the difficulties, he still wanted to be with me.I never asked him, and I couldn't come up with an answer myself.This question was buried along with Bolin's departure, but when I stood outside Brother Baichuan's door and heard him say, "How could it be, how could I like him," for some reason, I felt he was talking about me.Perhaps I'm just imagining things, but that…
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- It seems I've really been prying too much into Jiangluo's privacy, which isn't good, but I can't help myself.Perhaps I've transferred all my love and longing for Bolin onto him. I've tried self-reflection, yet when it comes to his matters, I still can't remain indifferent.After coming out from Yi Li's place, Jiangluo uncharacteristically said he had something to do and told me to leave first, without specifying what it was. Without giving it much thought, I followed him in my car.I felt like a despicable…
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- Yi Li said, "Have you ever thought about death? I've thought about it more than once."I didn't say anything at the time, but inside, I was nodding.Me too.More than once.After leaving Yi Li's office building, I didn't call Brother Baichuan, not on purpose, just forgot.My mind was consumed with Yi Li's words, lost in my own world, unable to escape."Jiangluo."I looked over at the sound, and Brother Baichuan was standing by the roadside looking at me.At his feet, a little white puppy was crouching, wagging its…
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- I felt it necessary to intervene in Jiangluo's interactions with Yi Li. Not that I had any prejudice against Yi Li, but mainly because their personalities were too different. To put it bluntly, I was a bit worried that Yi Li might corrupt Jiangluo.Okay, I admit it, I did have some bias against Yi Li.Although it's not very ethical to speak ill of an ex-boyfriend, and I'm not that kind of person. In the more than two years since we broke up, we rarely contacted each other, and even less so did I mention him…
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- Sometimes, I find myself repeatedly pondering what kind of life awaits me in the future.Will it get better, or will I sink deeper into the mire?I've thought about suicide, especially after Bolin died.However, people are inherently cowardly; unless they're at their most desperate point, they probably won't want to die.So perhaps I should thank my own cowardice and avoidance, for it has pushed me along through life up until now.Brother Baichuan asked me if I wanted to try therapy; it was a question I had…
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- I don't know what's truly best for Jiangluo.Every time I think he's getting better, I inadvertently discover that he isn't.His problems aren't just about the pain of Bolin's passing; they also stem from long-term physical and mental unhealthiness.I originally wanted to thank him in person for the gift, but instead, I caught a glimpse through the door of something unbelievable.I know that eavesdropping isn't something a gentleman does, but it reminded me of Jiangluo's previous episode where he was devouring…
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