CHAPTERS
Sometimes, I find myself repeatedly pondering what kind of life awaits me in the future.Will it get better, or will I sink deeper into the mire?I've thought about suicide, especially after Bolin died.However, people are inherently cowardly; unless they're at their most desperate point, they probably won't want to die.So perhaps I should thank my own cowardice and avoidance, for it has pushed me along through life up until now.Brother Baichuan asked me if I wanted to try therapy; it was a question I had…- 87.2 K • Completed
- I don't know what's truly best for Jiangluo.Every time I think he's getting better, I inadvertently discover that he isn't.His problems aren't just about the pain of Bolin's passing; they also stem from long-term physical and mental unhealthiness.I originally wanted to thank him in person for the gift, but instead, I caught a glimpse through the door of something unbelievable.I know that eavesdropping isn't something a gentleman does, but it reminded me of Jiangluo's previous episode where he was devouring…
- 87.2 K • Completed
- I secretly wrote an elder brother Baichuan a New Year's card. There was nothing special in it; I just told him that this gift should be kept confidential because neither Uncle nor Auntie knew about it.I deliberately placed the gift at his door just like he did when he gave me an apple on Christmas Eve. This way, we wouldn't have to talk face-to-face, which made it easier for me to give the gift.Originally, when I came back at noon, we had plenty of time alone, and I should have given it to him then.It…
- 87.2 K • Completed
- On Chinese New Year morning, there was a group of children playing downstairs in the neighborhood complex.It had to be said that these little energetic beans were truly spirited. On a winter morning, someone like me would be too lazy to get out of bed, yet they had already been running around for who knows how long.Just as I was leaving, my mother complained again about me having to go to the company on Chinese New Year.She stood at the door, hesitating to speak her mind. I think I knew what she wanted to…
- 87.2 K • Completed
- It seemed like a new life was truly about to begin, even though I still often found myself hopelessly ensnared in thoughts of Bolin.But, regardless, not sinking deeper into despair was a good thing.The New Year had come, and it was time for me to set sail anew.I bought a new notebook and spent my evenings tucked away in my room, secretly jotting down plans for the new year.Work hard, whether staying here with Brother Baichuan or going elsewhere, I can no longer afford to wallow in self-pity. 2. Give gifts…
- 87.2 K • Completed
- When the clock struck twelve, we stepped into the new year along with everyone else.That moment seemed to leave all our fatigue and pain behind us in the past year. Of course, that included my brother too.His young life was frozen in time, ruthlessly left behind by us as we moved forward.A door seemed to appear on the path of life, and we strode through it boldly, while Bolin remained inside, his face still filled with sorrow.I watched the fireworks exploding in the ink-blue sky, feeling an unprecedented…
- 87.2 K • Completed
- I was exhausted, but incredibly happy.It felt like it had been ages since I last laughed heartily; at least three or four months.Bolin and I had never had such carefree fun before his passing. Now, Brother Baichuan and I squeezed out of the crowd, drenched in sweat, as if all our troubles and miseries had washed away with the perspiration.We sat at the bar for a while longer, finishing off our cigarettes and draining our glasses, then we left that noisy, illusory world behind."I think I’ve got tinnitus,"…
- 87.2 K • Completed
- It was a relief for me that Jiangluo could express his thoughts. He had become so reserved that he didn't even want to voice his own wishes. I didn't know whether it was due to his inherent personality or a lack of trust in us, but more likely, he didn't want to burden us.We stood at the "pseudo" northernmost point, and Jiangluo was lost in thought.The air here was good, but the temperature was indeed too low. We wrapped ourselves up like plump little dumplings, yet our cheeks still stung from the…
- 87.2 K • Completed
- Brother Baichuan asked us where we wanted to go for New Year's Eve. I'm a person who doesn't have many ideas; when I was with Bolin in the past, he would decide on these things and then ask me for my opinion.Of course, I wouldn't have any objections; as long as it was somewhere he wanted to go, I was willing to accompany him.We had been to Seattle, Hawaii, Bangkok, and Santorini. Last winter, after reading some article, he suddenly said he wanted to go to Arctic Village.Unfortunately, we were both very…
- 87.2 K • Completed
- Li Jiangluo was bathed in the orange hues of the sunset, his expression indistinct from my vantage point, yet I suddenly understood why my brother loved him so dearly.He possessed an extraordinary aura, seemingly detached from the world yet not aloof, a calmness that made one feel at ease and secure.The meeting had occupied the entire afternoon, and with the first collaborative project post-return now virtually confirmed, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.Back in the office, Li Jiangluo turned…
- 87.2 K • Completed
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