Chapter 80 – The Crybaby’s Sarcasm
by Salted FishWei Lai returned home to find every room pitch black, exuding a dark and gloomy atmosphere.
Chu Yin was afraid of the dark. No matter what, the house would never be in such a state where not a single light was on.
It seemed Chu Yin hadn’t come back yet.
Refusing to give up, Wei Lai lowered his voice and called out sneakily, “Orunju? Meow meow?? Meow meow meow meow???”
Silence.
In the past, the moment he stepped inside, a cat would come trotting over with its tail held high and its chubby body wobbling, rubbing against his legs and leaving them covered in fur.
It was unbelievable—Chu Yin had run away from home and even taken Orunju with him!
Wei Lai wiped the cream off the floor, restless and uneasy.
Where had Chu Yin gone?
His rational side told him that waiting at home for Chu Yin was the best option, and going out to search would be like finding a needle in a haystack.
Stay calm.
The first rule of crisis management: stay calm.
After sitting still for three minutes, Wei Lai only felt colder, not a shred of calm in sight. He suddenly stood up, cursing, “Fuck staying calm! My damn cat’s gone!”
With that, he grabbed a cat teaser, stomped his feet, and stormed out the door.
The rain that day poured as heavily as in some melodramatic soap opera. Wei Lai drove around aimlessly in the rain for a long time, mobilizing all his friends and family to search the entire city for Chu Yin—but to no avail.
As the rain gradually lightened, Wei Lai received a call from the security guard.
“Xiao Wei, did you find him? We checked the surveillance—didn’t see your big celebrity. Don’t worry, we’ll keep looking…”
“No luck?” Wei Lai felt a pang of disappointment at first, but then inspiration struck. He straightened his neck, slammed the gas pedal, and raced back home.
He was furious with himself, suspecting his brain must’ve been bought at a discount.
Of course. Chu Yin hadn’t taken his phone or an umbrella, and he was carrying a cat—he couldn’t have gone far. He was probably still in the neighborhood.
A few hours later, Wei Lai returned home again, not even bothering to park properly before craning his neck to search for the cat.
The drizzle pattered against his umbrella, sounding like popping candy exploding on his tongue.
Wei Lai looked toward the lit areas, hoping to catch a glimpse of Chu Yin’s silhouette.
Amid the rustling of wind and rain, he heard a short, high-pitched meow.
Soft and sweet—Wei Lai recognized it instantly. It was Orunju!
Wei Lai glanced around frantically, shaking the cat teaser wildly. “Orunju? Where are you?”
“Meow~”
Following the sound, Wei Lai spotted a fuzzy slipper in the muddy ground beneath a tree. Looking up, he saw a leg dangling from a high branch.
Among the swaying leaves, a massive shadow loomed motionless on a thick branch, with a pair of glowing green eyes suspended in the middle—like a giant monster.
Wei Lai’s breath hitched in fright, but upon closer inspection, it was a false alarm.
Chu Yin, enormous as ever, was perched on the tree branch, while Orunju nestled inside his clothes, paws clinging to the collar as its little head peeked out.
Relieved and delighted, Wei Lai called up, “Chu Yin!”
Orunju: “Mew!”
Wei Lai: “Come down. Don’t be mad—there’s absolutely nothing going on between me and Yao Chaowu. I was wrong.”
Orunju: “Meow~”
Chu Yin: —Staring.
Wei Lai continued, “Aren’t you cold? Let’s go home—we can talk there. Look, Orunju’s freezing.”
Chu Yin glared down at Wei Lai coldly, while Orunju poked its head out, ears flattened as it let out a pitiful mewl.
Chu Yin’s eyes were wide and fierce, making Wei Lai feel small and timid in comparison.
Chu Yin’s lips moved. “Fuck off.”
This crybaby was beyond consoling.
Look at him! Spoiled rotten with this temper!
Wei Lai’s temper flared too. He jumped around under the tree, trying to grab Chu Yin’s foot. “Get down here!”
Chu Yin pulled his foot up, huffing, “No.”
“Get down!”
Chu Yin glared. Orunju, sensing the tension, flattened its ears and opened its mouth wide: “Meeeoow—grrr—meow~”
“I don’t get it. I really don’t.” Wei Lai rubbed his eyes, exhausted. “I was wrong to lie to you, but look at yourself. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d blow up at me. Who acts like this? The moment you get angry, you refuse to listen to anything. You can smash cream on my head all you want, but you kicked Yao Chaowu so hard he got a bone fracture! If he were any more spiteful, he could’ve sued you for assault. Paying compensation would’ve been the least of it—you could’ve been detained!”
Chu Yin blinked, suddenly uneasy. Had he really kicked Yao Chaowu hard enough to fracture his bone?
Clenching his fists, Chu Yin felt inexplicably wronged. Wei Lai’s tone was sharper than ever, every word dripping with blame and resentment.
Choking up, Chu Yin rasped, “What, feeling sorry for him now?”
“Such a crybaby! Can we even have a normal conversation anymore?!” Wei Lai was livid. “Chu Yin! If you keep this up, I’m leaving!”
Chu Yin’s eyes reddened. Furious, he kicked his other muddy slipper at Wei Lai. “Go, then! Who asked you to come looking for me?!”
The slipper hit Wei Lai square on. He jumped back, yelling, “This bitch is a delicate flower—what man wouldn’t call me Madam Wei?! Don’t expect me to be some brainless, groveling simp! Spoiling you rotten is my fault! You just love throwing tantrums at me! Fine, I’m leaving!”
Chu Yin roared, “Go! Go! If you leave, don’t come back!!!”
Wei Lai stood his ground, hopping in place as he ranted, “Fine! If I leave, I won’t come back! Just see if I do!”
Chu Yin wailed, “Get lost!!!”
Wei Lai planted his hands on his hips and screeched, “If I leave just because you tell me to, I’d lose all face! Not only will I not leave, I’m gonna run laps around this tree!!!”
True to his word, Wei Lai began running with exaggerated flair, even hugging the tree at one point to perform a pole dance.
Chu Yin: “Wei Lai, you’re so annoying!!! Stop running!”
Wei Lai continued his ridiculous laps, shaking his ass provocatively before tilting his head up. “Come down and hit me, then! If you’ve got the guts, hit me! Aim for this bitch’s perky, high nose bridge! Heehee!”
Chu Yin fumed, blowing his bangs out of his face as he shook the tree violently. Water droplets rained down, drenching Wei Lai from head to toe.
Wiping his face, Wei Lai finally stopped running. “Fine, no more running. Leaving is fine too—just give me my cat back first!”
Chu Yin hugged the orange cat tighter. “She’s my cat!”
Wei Lai: “We picked her up together—I have a share too!”
Chu Yin: “I’m the one who scoops Big Orange’s poop!!!”
Wei Lai: “I feed her! And nine times out of ten, I’m the one taking her out! I’ll have you know, Orunju calls me Mom!”
Chu Yin retorted, “That’s just your bad hearing—she was just meowing randomly! If that’s how you see it, then I’m pretty sure she calls me Dad!”
Wei Lai planted his hands on his hips and declared, “Ha! Make her call you ‘Dad’ then. If Orunju calls you Dad, I’ll leave immediately!”
Chu Yin: “…”
Seizing the opportunity, Wei Lai shook the cat teaser. “Orunju, look at me! Come to Mama!”
Orunju peeked out. “Meow~”
Chu Yin held the restless orange cat firmly. “Big Orange, don’t go to him. Come on, say ‘Dad.’ You’ve done it before, haven’t you?”
Orunju: “Mrow~”
The orange cat and Chu Yin stared at each other. Chu Yin blinked, and the cat twitched its whiskers. Growing impatient, Chu Yin took a deep breath—it was time to reveal his true prowess as the king of Mandopop to this ignorant mortal.
And so, in the chilly wind, Wei Lai heard an off-key imitation of a cat’s voice.
“Da~ddy~ meow~”
Though the mimicry was vivid, it was unmistakably Chu Yin’s voice. Wei Lai froze for a second before bursting into hysterical laughter. “Gahahahaha—what are you doing?! Chu Yin, have you no shame?! Come down, come down! Daddy’s right here!”
Chu Yin, flustered, retorted, “That wasn’t me! It was Big Orange! Wei Lai, stop laughing!”
Wei Lai cackled like a hen laying an egg. It took him a while to recover, feeling lightheaded from laughter. Leaning against the tree, he coaxed, “Ah, come down already, you pretty male god, adorable crybaby. Stop torturing me. I’m begging you, okay? I’m about to break.”
Chu Yin: “…”
Truthfully, Chu Yin hadn’t climbed the tree willingly.
Earlier, he had stormed out in a rage, carrying Orunju, only to realize he had nowhere to go. Swaggering back for a showdown, he found the house empty.
He tried unlocking the fingerprint scanner—but for some reason, it refused to recognize his print.
Without his keys, he decided to ask the property management to let him in. But halfway there, Orunju got spooked by a stray dog, bolted up the tree, and refused to come down.
Chu Yin tried coaxing it but failed, so he climbed up after it—only to realize that getting up was easier than getting down. The tree suddenly seemed terrifyingly tall, and he froze, unsure how to come down.
So he stayed there until Wei Lai found him.
But Chu Yin would never admit that he’d bravely climbed up only to be too scared to come down. He just huffed coldly.
Wei Lai ventured, “Should I get you a ladder?”
Chu Yin huffed again.
Wei Lai sensed an opening and hurried home to fetch a ladder. But after just a few steps, his vision spun, and he staggered before collapsing to the ground.
“Wei Lai!” Chu Yin reacted faster than he could think, leaping down from the tree. His landing was less than graceful—his feet sank into the mud, and he toppled backward onto his butt.
He scrambled up immediately, barefoot, and rushed to Wei Lai’s side, shaking him. “What’s wrong?”
Wei Lai’s faint was brief—so brief he didn’t even realize it had happened. Seeing Chu Yin covered in mud, he grinned weakly. “What happened to me?”
Chu Yin, thinking Wei Lai was messing with him, stood up abruptly. “Big Orange, let’s go!”
Wei Lai grabbed his leg in panic. “Hey, where are you going?”
Chu Yin snapped, “Home! You liar!”
Wei Lai stood. “Let’s go together. I wanna go home too.”
Chu Yin: “Go keep Yao Chaowu company!”
“I hired a nurse.” Wei Lai brushed mud off his pants. “I need a shower.”
Chu Yin pursed his lips and took a step, wincing slightly.
Wei Lai noticed instantly. “Does your foot hurt?”
Chu Yin stayed silent.
Wei Lai: “You don’t even have shoes. I’ll carry you.”
Chu Yin hugged Orunju, glanced at Wei Lai, and didn’t move or speak.
“Not letting me carry you, huh? Guess you prefer another method.” Wei Lai took a deep breath, summoned his inner gong1Seme/top energy, and swept Chu Yin into a princess carry dripping with CEO vibes.
Chu Yin: “…!”
Normally, Chu Yin would’ve resisted—but he was curious about how it felt. So he looped an arm around Wei Lai’s neck and said stiffly, “I’m still mad.”
“I know.”
Wei Lai’s gong energy didn’t last long. After a few steps, he faltered.
The delicate flower of Chengdu panted, teary-eyed. “…I can’t. You’re so heavy…”
Chu Yin: “…I’m heavy?”
Wei Lai, survival instincts kicking in: “It’s Orunju who’s heavy.”
Chu Yin: “…Hmph.”
As the rain picked up again, Chu Yin didn’t throw a fit. Leaning on Wei Lai’s shoulder, he hopped home on one foot.
Back home, both were too exhausted to fight.
Chu Yin, worn out from the day, was dead tired and ready to skip showering and crash.
Wei Lai couldn’t tolerate that. “No way. You’re showering. If you lie down like that, the sheets will need washing tomorrow!”
Chu Yin yawned sleepily. “Then I’ll sleep on the floor.”
Wei Lai: “…”
He relented. “I’ll help you shower, then carry you out.”
Chu Yin scoffed, clearly recalling Wei Lai’s failed attempt earlier. “I’ll shower. Stop bothering me.”
Chu Yin stripped, stepped into the tub, and drowsily rested his head on the edge—until he heard the door open. Wei Lai walked in.
Chu Yin jolted awake. “What are you doing?!”
Wei Lai: “I wanted you to see the cream still stuck in my hair. It’s dried—won’t come off.”
Chu Yin: “…Serves you right.”
Wei Lai stepped into the tub, water sloshing over the sides. Chu Yin tried to scramble out, but Wei Lai grabbed him. “Check if there’s any cream left.”
Chu Yin: “…There isn’t!”
Wei Lai: “Don’t freak out. I won’t do anything.”
Chu Yin: “Get lost, Wei Lai! I’m still mad!”
Wei Lai: “Oh, so only you get to be mad, huh, you little rage machine? Am I not allowed to be mad? My birthday was ruined because of this mess.”
Chu Yin turned away, eyes stinging from the steam. “But you were the one who messed up. You lied to me first.”
He was so hurt. He’d mustered so much courage to confess—and Wei Lai didn’t even care.
Wei Lai sighed. “Does your foot still hurt? Is it swollen? Let me see.”
Chu Yin pulled his foot away, but Wei Lai swam closer and caught his calf. Chu Yin kicked weakly (careful not to injure the delicate flower), and Wei Lai took the chance to position himself between Chu Yin’s legs.
Chu Yin’s ankle still bore the red anklet Wei Lai had given him—a thin scarlet cord around his pale skin.
His feet were beautiful: high arches, plump toes, and pink nails that looked like tender mangosteen flesh under the warm light.
“Thanks,” Wei Lai said, throat bobbing. “The watch you gave me is nice. Does it… mean anything special?”
Chu Yin: “…”
Still fuming, Chu Yin wasn’t in the mood for confessions. He replied coolly, “Happy birthday. Hope you get even bitchier.”
Wei Lai: “…”
Disappointed but unsurprised (he’d been overthinking), Wei Lai tickled Chu Yin’s sole. “Hypothetically… have you ever thought about spending your life with someone?”
Chu Yin’s breath hitched. “Have you?”
Wei Lai: “Yeah. The more I think about it, the more nervous I get. Hey, if we tried living together, would we last two months before fighting our way to a breakup?”
Chu Yin kicked Wei Lai there. “Would we fight if you didn’t piss me off?!”
Wei Lai pinched Chu Yin’s thigh. “Would we fight if you controlled your temper?!”
Somehow, mid-argument, both got hard. After an awkward silence, they climbed out of the tub and, by unspoken agreement, slept in separate rooms.
Wei Lai: “Get your foot checked tomorrow.”
Chu Yin: “Not your business.”
Wei Lai smiled. “Goodnight!”
Chu Yin growled, “Goodnight! Annoying!”
But the night was far from peaceful.
Without Wei Lai beside him, Chu Yin had nightmares.
He dreamed of presenting Wei Lai with a 15-tier cake, confessing in a grand hall—only for Yao Chaowu to appear, kiss Wei Lai, and shove Chu Yin into the cake.
Chu Yin tried to get up but sank deeper into the cream swamp. Then Chen Meixian loomed over him, whip in hand, smirking coldly. The last thing he saw was Wei Lai walking away hand-in-hand with Yao Chaowu.
He woke in a cold sweat, pajamas drenched. Without thinking, he bolted barefoot into Wei Lai’s room, yanked the covers back, and burrowed in.
Wei Lai stirred groggily. “What time is it?”
Chu Yin clung to him, nuzzling his warm stomach and shaking his head.
Wei Lai patted his back. “Shit, why are you so wet? Did you wet the bed?!”
Chu Yin: “…”
Hugging Wei Lai, Chu Yin noticed something off. “You’re really hot inside.”
Wei Lai giggled coquettishly. “What’s this? Suddenly talking dirty?”
“I meant under the covers!” Chu Yin lifted his head, rubbing his cheek against Wei Lai’s forehead. “Do you have a fever?”
A thermometer confirmed it: 39.5°C.
While Chu Yin had braved hours of rain in pajamas unscathed, the delicate flower Wei Lai had caught a high fever from a light drizzle.
Stone-faced, Chu Yin drove Wei Lai to the hospital. Slumped in the passenger seat, Wei Lai grumbled, “You’re not even the sick one. Why the glare?”
Chu Yin pursed his lips. “I’m not glaring.”
Wei Lai: “It’s true what they say—filial piety is lost at the bedside of a long-term patient. I’ve only been sick for one day and you’re already giving me attitude.. Check the rearview mirror—you look like you wanna throw me out of the car.”
Behind his tough exterior, Chu Yin was a sobbing mess inside. His eyes reddened. “…Sorry.”
Wei Lai: “Huh? Wait—don’t cry! Chu Yin, I was just kidding!”
Parking, Chu Yin wiped his tears. “If… if you hadn’t come looking for me, you wouldn’t be sick.”
Wei Lai squeezed his hand. “Don’t cry. Your foot got hurt because of me too. We’re even, okay?”
Chu Yin nodded silently.
After Wei Lai got emergency care, they checked Chu Yin’s foot—an old injury that flared up from overuse.
Pushing an IV stand, Wei Lai walked slowly beside Chu Yin (on crutches) to the restroom—where they ran into Yao Chaowu and Chen Meixian.
At the sight of Chu Yin, Yao Chaowu reflexively clutched his ribs. “What happened to you two? Did kicking me cripple you, Xiao Chu?!”
(Internally: “Karma! Justice!”)
Chu Yin: “…”
Wei Lai: “…”
Chen Meixian, head bandaged, zeroed in on Chu Yin. “What happened to your foot, Chu Yin? Wei Lai, how could you neglect him like this?!”
Wei Lai rolled his eyes and tugged Chu Yin away. “Haven’t even reached the toilet, but we’ve already stepped in shit. And the shit talks. Fuck.”

0 Comments