Chapter 93 – The Dreaded Madam
by Salted FishChu Yin belatedly realized his own speculation was absurd. “Madam Wei, are you jealous again!?”
Wei Lai felt somewhat embarrassed. “What do you mean ‘again’? I’m not.”
Chu Yin said, “But last time, you were jealous of Liang Yating.”
At least Liang Yating was a delicate adult woman.
Wei Lai fell silent for a moment. “I actually got jealous over a seven-year-old child. Am I sick?”
Chu Yin was so happy he could float away.
Chu Yin often felt jealous of anyone who got close to Wei Lai. Even when they went out to eat, if someone glanced at Wei Lai a few extra times, Chu Yin would get possessive and sulk secretly, needing Wei Lai to coax him with kisses before he’d calm down.
But Wei Lai rarely acted like this. His emotions were as steady as Mount Tai, always acting like he had Chu Yin completely wrapped around his finger.
Chu Yin’s happiness made inspiration surge like a spring. “I… suddenly thought of a little fanfiction scenario.”
Wei Lai: “…”
Chu Yin’s mind was filled with countless little scripts. Now, he no longer had to secretly fantasize under the guise of his CP shipper alt account—he could openly indulge in those fantasies with Wei Lai in real life!
Normally, Chu Yin would write these scenarios with Wei Lai beforehand, but since this was spur-of-the-moment, they’d have to improvise.
Chu Yin summoned tears in an instant, his expression aggrieved. “I don’t have a crush on your little brother! How could you think that of me!?”
Wei Lai quickly assessed the situation and concluded that Chu Yin had cast himself as the bottom.
That wouldn’t do. It had been days since they’d last done it, and his ass was itching for action. Even if he couldn’t physically be the bottom this time, he’d at least play the role mentally.
Wei Lai decided to give himself the persona of a delicate, stubborn, and sickly beauty, trying desperately to squeeze out tears. But he wasn’t the type to cry easily—unless he was utterly devastated, tears wouldn’t come. As a result, not only did he fail to produce any tears, his face just twitched like he was having a nervous spasm.
Chu Yin bashfully pounded his fists in his heart, giving Wei Lai’s acting a full 108/10—his facial spasms were so lively and vivid, like a perfect portrayal of early-onset dementia.
Chu Yin said emotionally, “Your brother may be just eighteen, young and strong, but to me, he’s just a child. Even if you were senile, paralyzed, or had a stroke, I’d still love you.”
Wei Lai: “???” What kind of character was Chu Yin assigning him?!
Objectively speaking, Wei Lai really couldn’t keep up with Chu Yin’s acting, so he had no choice but to switch roles. He scratched Chu Yin’s chin and sneered. “Is love something you can just say so casually? If you can say you love me, you can say it to anyone else too.”
Chu Yin grabbed Wei Lai’s hand and placed it on top of his head.
Wei Lai: “?”
Chu Yin pretended that Wei Lai was forcing his head down, bending over to bite the zipper of Wei Lai’s pants with his teeth.
Wei Lai: “!”
……
Chu Yin mumbled, “Quick… pet my head!”
Wei Lai: “Huh? Which head? The head of 18 Centimeters-kun?”
“My actual head!”
Chu Yin got angry and lifted his head to explain the scene. “Because on the surface, you’re cold to me, but deep down, you actually care. You need to pet me with dominance, affection, and the feeling that you want me to stay in the palm of your hand forever…”
Wei Lai: “…”
Wei Lai hurriedly pushed Chu Yin’s head back down. “Got it, got it, hurry up.”
After some vigorous sucking, Chu Yin lifted his disheveled head, licking his lips. “Why’d you rub so hard?! My throat hurts.”
Wei Lai leaned over and kissed Chu Yin’s Adam’s apple, smiling. “I was afraid it wouldn’t be dominant enough. Come here, let me wipe your face.”
Chu Yin licked his lips again, took a piece of candy from the storage compartment between their seats, noisily unwrapped it, and crunched it loudly in his mouth.
After Wei Lai finished wiping his face, Chu Yin leaned in for a kiss. Wei Lai kissed him but suddenly frowned and turned away.
“…Damn, why’s it so sour?”
Chu Yin had picked a lemon-flavored candy. Seeing Wei Lai’s sour reaction, his eyes curved into happy crescents. “Because I drank lemon spirit juice earlier.”
“Oh ho, you thicc-ass bitch!”
Wei Lai giggled and drove them home to milk the crybaby dry.
The tutoring class Wei Gui was enrolled in ran from 8 AM to 4 PM, specially designed for kids who couldn’t finish their winter break homework.
When Wei Lai woke up from his nap, it was already 2:30 PM. Chu Yin had gone out to walk Orunju, so the house was unusually quiet.
The lemon tree Wei Lai had planted in his heart had been thoroughly juiced by Chu Yin that afternoon. Thinking about how pitiful Wei Gui was at such a young age, his conscience kicked in, and he decided to pick him up early.
On the way to the tutoring center, Wei Lai spotted Chu Yin’s car.
Logically, walking a cat didn’t require driving. After some thought, Wei Lai drove to the park and, sure enough, saw two people and a cat sitting on a stone bench.
Chu Yin wore a baseball cap and sunglasses, while Wei Gui had his little backpack on. Orunju, a fat ball of fur, sat on Chu Yin’s lap, licking itself clean.
Chu Yin and Wei Gui were eating ice cream.
Chu Yin said, “Let’s sit here until 3:30 before going back. When we get home, don’t tell study god gege that I picked you up early or that we ate ice cream.”
Wei Gui was meticulous. “But when the cat tried to steal the ice cream earlier, her head fur got all sticky.”
“She’ll lick it clean.”
“She can’t reach her head.” Wei Gui said seriously, “Study god gege will definitely notice when he pets the cat. And it was you who said you wanted ice cream first.”
Chu Yin: “…You ate some too.”
Wei Gui said cautiously, “We can still wash the cat now.”
Chu Yin loved eating ice cream in winter, but his stomach was weak, so Wei Lai forbade it. If Wei Lai found out, he’d nag endlessly.
Chu Yin nodded. “Let’s have one last ice cream before we leave.”
“Kids shouldn’t eat too much ice cream.” A high-pitched, deliberately cutesy voice sounded beside them, as if Wei Gui was trying to act adorable.
Chu Yin nodded. “Right. You shouldn’t eat any more. I will.”
“Um… pretty gege…” Wei Gui tugged weakly at Chu Yin’s sleeve.
Chu Yin turned around and came face-to-face with Wei Lai.
Chu Yin: “…”
Wei Lai crossed his arms, ready to interrogate. “Now I know why Orunju keeps getting fatter under your care.”
Chu Yin: “I…”
Wei Lai: “Why were you sneaking ice cream? Don’t come crying to me when your stomach hurts tonight.”
Chu Yin: “I only had a little! Most of it ended up on Big Orange!”
Wei Lai: “And you were planning to lie to me about it? Do you think I’m being too controlling?”
Chu Yin: “No. But last time I wanted ice cream, you melted it before giving it to me. It just made me crave it even more.”
“So it’s my fault now?” Wei Lai picked up Orunju. The cat’s head was sticky, its fur clumped together in a disgusting mess.
“Orunju just had a bath the day before yesterday. Look, now we have to wash her again.”
Chu Yin took the cat. “I’ll wash her.”
Wei Lai took the cat back. “You can’t even wash yourself properly. Go eat your ice cream.”
Chu Yin got mad, stomping his feet as he turned to leave. “Where did I not wash properly?! You literally said I smelled good this morning!!! I’m buying a whole box of ice cream!”
Wei Lai also got angry, carrying Orunju back to the car.
Wei Gui: “…”
Wei Lai got home first to wash Orunju’s head. A few minutes later, Chu Yin returned home carrying a box of ice cream.
After stuffing the ice cream into the freezer, Chu Yin turned on the TV and started eating ice cream while watching Digimon. A while later, Wei Lai came downstairs with Orunju.
Orunju hated baths. The moment it was set down, it flicked its tail and jumped onto the cat tree, closing its eyes coldly—it wanted nothing to do with these two-legged creatures.
Wei Lai suddenly felt something was off. Normally, Wei Gui would be lying on the couch watching TV with Chu Yin.
Wei Lai asked, “Where’s Wei Gui?”
Chu Yin, mid-scoop, froze and turned around sharply. “He didn’t come back with you in the car?”
Wei Lai: “…”
Chu Yin: “!!!”
The two stared at each other for a second before screaming and bolting out the door. The atmosphere in the car was tense.
Chu Yin was so anxious his stomach hurt. “Should we call the police???”
“Let’s look for him first. Stop picking at the seatbelt—it’s stressing me out.”
Chu Yin clenched his fists, resisting the urge to fidget. His mind raced through all the possible misfortunes that could have befallen Wei Gui. Just thinking about it made tears well up.
He rubbed his eyes hard and looked out the window, hoping to spot Wei Gui.
Wei Lai swallowed hard and said weakly, “Don’t panic. This neighborhood is pretty safe. There were tons of kids and parents at the park—nothing too dangerous could’ve happened.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Chu Yin suddenly shouted, “Wei Lai! Look!!!”
Chu Yin screamed as if he’d just discovered Wei Gui’s corpse, scaring Wei Lai half to death. Following Chu Yin’s finger, Wei Lai spotted a young couple pushing a stroller while holding Wei Gui’s hand as they walked out from a side path.
Wei Lai pretended to be as calm as an old hen, though internally, he was freaking out. He parked the car right in the middle of the road and rushed out. “Wei Gui!”
Wei Gui waved at him. “Gege!”
Wei Lai excitedly picked Wei Gui up, all previous annoyance forgotten, and planted a loud kiss on his cheek. “I’m sorry! Are you okay?”
Wei Gui pointed at the couple accompanying him. “I’m fine. Uncle and Auntie said they’d take me to the police station.”
The wife looked at Wei Lai with an expression of disbelief. Wei Lai felt like he’d seen her before but couldn’t remember where. Awkwardly, he asked, “Have we met?”
Just then, Chu Yin parked the car and ran over. In his hurry, he hadn’t even put on a mask. Thankfully, he was dressed sloppily enough that people wouldn’t recognize him from a distance.
Chu Yin stopped, first apologizing to Wei Gui before glancing at the kind strangers—and freezing. “Are you… Liang Yating?”
Liang Yating smiled, though her eyes were red. “Chu Yin… yeah, it’s me.”
Wei Lai hadn’t expected it to be her.
In his memory, she had been like a withered blade of grass, fragile and barely clinging to life, rejecting the outside world. But the woman before him now was vibrant, like some kind of thriving green plant.
Chu Yin still remembered Liang Yating’s trauma from being tricked by Ren Zha into a lavender marriage1Marrying a gay man. and quietly let go of Wei Lai’s hand.
During their chat, they learned that Liang Yating had married the male nurse who had taken care of her and now had a three-year-old child. She was living happily.
Before parting, Liang Yating’s husband—jealous yet grateful—said to Chu Yin, “She adores you. Our baby’s name is Li Yinyong. She said it’s because of you that she found the courage to marry me. Thank you!”
Liang Yating walked a few steps before suddenly turning back and shouting at Chu Yin and Wei Lai, “ChuLai, may you be happy forever!” Then, as if embarrassed, she grabbed her husband and hurried off with the stroller.
Chu Yin was stunned for a moment before suddenly bursting into tears, burying his face in Wei Lai’s chest. “She… recovered… that’s so good… sob… she doesn’t hate gay people… or me…”
Wei Lai held Chu Yin with one arm and Wei Gui with the other, feeling a headache coming on. “Damn it, save the crying for home, okay? Be good…”
Chu Yin’s emotions had been on a rollercoaster all day, and combined with the ice cream, his stomach started hurting. Afraid of being scolded by Wei Lai, he skipped dinner, claiming he was tired, and hid under the covers.
Wei Lai settled Wei Gui down and asked, “Did you finish your winter break homework?”
Wei Gui never wanted to go back to tutoring. “Yeah. Gege, I don’t want to go anymore. Don’t make me go, okay? QAQ”
“Let me check your homework first.”
Wei Gui: “…”
Wei Lai started reviewing Wei Gui’s homework carefully. As he read, he suddenly looked up and gave Wei Gui a meaningful glance.
Wei Gui: “…Did I get a lot wrong? QAQ”
There were mistakes, of course—but all the hard questions were correct, with clear reasoning. The errors were all on simple problems, and they looked suspiciously intentional.
This wasn’t the kind of homework a kid who’d supposedly failed both math and Chinese would produce. Since it was one-on-one tutoring, copying was unlikely—but there was still the possibility that the tutor had outright given Wei Gui the answers.
Wei Lai: “Did you really fail your finals?”
Wei Gui: “…I… failed.”
“Your dad didn’t beat you for that?”
Wei Gui corrected him. “Our dad.”
Wei Lai smirked. “When I was your age, he never paid attention to me, but I had four tutors. If I didn’t study hard, our dad would whoop my ass.”
Wei Gui: “…”
Wei Lai: “Under that kind of pressure, the Wei family rarely produces duds. And honestly, you seem even smarter than pretty gege.”
Wei Gui: “…”
Wei Lai thought of Zhao Mingming. According to his WeChat moments, his son was in the same class as Wei Gui.
Right in front of Wei Gui, Wei Lai called Zhao Mingming and opened with: “What were Wei Gui’s final exam scores?”
Zhao Mingming paused before exploding: “You just won’t leave me alone, will you?! You won’t let me live in peace! Goddammit, Wei Baldy, you overshadowed me every year when we were in the same class! I couldn’t even enjoy New Year’s! And just when I thought you’d die alone after turning gay, you somehow have a seven-year-old brother?! Are you kidding me?! My son came in second again?! What’s the point of this call?! Just to flex!?”
Wei Lai listened and said, “So Wei Gui was first?”
Zhao Mingming was livid. “Next year, he’s going down!”
Wei Lai hung up. Wei Gui was sweating bullets, staring at Wei Lai in shock.
Wei Lai handed him a tissue to wipe his sweat. “Don’t be nervous. Why did you do this?”
Wei Gui slumped dejectedly, his voice tiny. “Mom told me to trick you into coming home for New Year’s. She said if I got you to come back, she’d buy me a giant Iron Man Lego set.”
Wei Lai fell silent for a moment. “Why does your mom want me home?”
That question was a bit beyond Wei Gui. He thought hard before answering matter-of-factly, “Shouldn’t family be together for New Year’s?”
“…Theoretically, yes. But I already have my own family now.”
Wei Gui panicked. “…But Mom said she won’t come pick me up. She wants you to take me home. I want to go home…”
Wei Gui was still just a kid. Seeing his Iron Man Lego dreams go up in smoke and his terrifying older brother looming over him, his lips trembled as he fought back tears. Wei Lai had no patience for comforting children who weren’t Chu Yin and quickly said, “Wait, I’ll take you home tomorrow. And I’ll buy you the Lego set.”
Wei Gui: “…R-really?”
Wei Lai nodded. “If you go to sleep right now, yes.”
Wei Gui immediately closed his eyes.
Wei Lai tucked him in, then went to the kitchen to make a bowl of fish congee for his other child.
He entered the bedroom. “Big crybaby, have some congee before sleeping.”
Chu Yin poked his head out from the blankets with a whimper.
Wei Lai sat by the bed, scooping up some congee. “Come on, I’ll feed you.”
Chu Yin took the bowl, pretending his stomach didn’t hurt. “I can eat by myself.”
Wei Lai saw right through him. “Stomach hurting again?”
Chu Yin: “…”
Madam Wei was terrifying.
Wei Lai sighed and pressed a hand to Chu Yin’s stomach. “After the congee, take some medicine.”
Chu Yin: “…You’re not mad at me?”
Wei Lai: “Ah… I’ve got something else on my mind. No energy to scold you.”
Chu Yin: “What is it?”
“I need to take Wei Gui home tomorrow. It’s almost New Year’s Eve—it’s not right for him to stay with us.”
Chu Yin set the bowl down. “When will you be back?”
With the round-trip flight, Wei Lai wouldn’t make it back in time to celebrate New Year’s with Chu Yin.
Wei Lai: “Want to come with me? After dropping Wei Gui off, I’ll take you seafood hunting.”
Chu Yin got so excited he spent the whole night rolling around next to Wei Lai.
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