TF01 119

Before going to Ying Ming’s house, Shi Yi went out of his way to get a haircut.

It did not actually change much, but when Ying Ming drove over to pick him up, the difference in attitude was obvious.

Ying Ming could not hold back a laugh. “Seriously? Even if you clean yourself up, if they’re going to hit you, they’ll still hit you. My parents don’t care about appearances.”

Shi Yi had only shrugged. “It’s a strategic decision.”

He had debated whether to dress sharp or look half-dead in hopes of winning sympathy. In the end, it seemed safer to look respectable.

Compared to him, Ying Ming was more casual about it. At this point, it was going to hurt no matter what. One cut either way made no difference.

Although Shi Yi’s background was somewhat complicated, he was still a guest. Ying Ming’s family had prepared a few dishes. When the two of them walked through the door, Ying Ming’s father was on the sofa carving a piece of wood. Even when Ying Ming called out to him, he did not look up. He only gave a quiet “mm.”

Shi Yi and Ying Ming sat to the side. Food was still being prepared in the kitchen. They had considered offering to help, but based on what Ying Ming knew of his family, it was better to do nothing than to act on their own.

In about twenty minutes, the food was ready. Ying Ming’s mother called them over. Shi Yi glanced at Ying Ming, and the two of them waited for his father to stand before following behind.

The meal was simple. No one even pretended to create a warm or lively atmosphere. Everyone kept their heads down and ate in silence. Occasionally, Ying Ming’s mother asked a few casual questions, and Ying Ming replied with vague, half-hearted answers.

It was a hard meal to get through.

When it finally ended, Ying Ming went into the kitchen to wash the dishes. Shi Yi was immediately called out to the balcony by Ying Ming’s mother. His father returned to his woodcarving without saying a single word.

Ying Ming stayed in the kitchen, leaning against the counter smoking a cigarette. He did not step out. His eyes were fixed on the calendar hanging on the wall, his brow faintly furrowed.

On the balcony, Shi Yi stood across from Ying Ming’s mother, flipping a cigarette through his fingers without lighting it.

She was his elder, so his attitude remained respectful.

But she clearly did not care to waste time on even the most basic courtesies.

Her very first words were, “I don’t care what the reason is. The two of you need to break it off.”

She did not even consider the word “breakup” applicable. In her eyes, their relationship was not valid enough to merit that term.

Shi Yi took a deep breath. “Auntie, I’ll agree to anything you ask. Except that.”

Ying Ming’s mother gave a cold laugh. “Anything? If I asked you to get married, would you agree?”

“Getting married is easy.”

Shi Yi smiled faintly. “Marriage, having kids, breaking up. None of those are hard to do. Auntie, everything you’re asking for would be easy enough to carry out. But I’m not going to do any of it.”

The woman across from him glared with full intensity. “Then what is it you think you’re doing?”

The temperature on the balcony was low. The wind hit straight across his face, sharp and cold down to the bone. Shi Yi turned around and leaned against the railing, listening as the woman beside him fired off one demand after another.

“Do you realize the two of you are going to ruin each other if you keep this up? It’s not just about you. Your families and friends are going to get dragged into this too. I know exactly what Ying Ming’s preferences are, whether he likes men or women, and I can tell you this is not right. Are you really willing to watch him lose everything? What you’re doing is mutual destruction. Do you understand?”

Shi Yi stayed silent the entire time, letting her finish without interrupting. Only after she had run out of breath did he finally light the cigarette in his hand.

“Auntie, I know everything you just said.”

He exhaled slowly. “I’ve heard it from a lot of people. My mom, my uncle, our friends… even myself.”

“So you’re just that stubborn? You won’t turn back until you’ve hit the wall?”

So he really needed a beating then.

There was fire in her eyes. No one in her position would feel at peace with something like this. She had brought Shi Yi here today to make things absolutely clear. This path was not an option. No matter how hard they tried, it would lead nowhere.

But beside her, Shi Yi only smoked slowly. “When I found out something had happened to my mom in Australia, I really thought I was going to lose it. I was stuck in a hospital bed, couldn’t move a muscle. Everything in front of me was spinning. I couldn’t even stand without help.” The red tip of his cigarette glowed faintly in the dark. His voice was calm, buried in memory. “Then a friend told me Ying Ming had already gone to her. You have no idea how thankful I was that the person I chose was him.”

Shi Yi let out a quiet breath and looked down. “So I didn’t waste a single second. I got up and came here right away. Ying Ming had done the thing I should have done. Now I had to take care of what he couldn’t.”

Ying Ming’s mother gave a small scoff but didn’t say anything.

“To be honest, neither of us was ever into men. I’ve had plenty of girlfriends. I don’t know if Ying Ming ever mentioned that to you or Uncle. I used to be pretty unreliable… but after dating so many women, none of them were right. If I hadn’t met Ying Ming, I’d probably still be trying, still searching. I’m not saying I’ll never meet someone more suitable, and neither of us can say we’re perfect for each other. But when my dad passed away, I came to understand something. Most regrets in life happen because we miss the moment. People think there’s always another path, so they stop caring. They take things for granted. And once it’s gone, they spend the rest of their lives trying to live with the regret.”

He turned to face Ying Ming’s mother directly. In the dim light, his gaze was unwavering.

“That’s why I told myself I can’t afford to miss Ying Ming. Even if there are other possibilities out there, I don’t want them.”

He knew how much he was going to lose. And he accepted it.

Ying Ming’s mother stared at him, caught off guard. Her brows furrowed and she tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. “You…”

“When my father died, I stood at his grave and made a promise. I promised that for the rest of my life, I would never make another reckless decision. I wouldn’t give up easily, and I wouldn’t compromise myself. I would do everything I could to take care of my family and shoulder every responsibility that belongs to me.” Shi Yi took a long breath, then gave a faint smile. “Auntie, I promised my father I would live well. That I would live a happy life. And for that promise, I will give everything I have. But in the future I’m fighting for… Ying Ming has to be part of it.”

Once, it had been easier to take than to choose. But after everything they had been through, he finally saw that holding on was much harder than letting go.

Ying Ming would not give up, and neither would he.

True responsibility starts with being honest with yourself. If he could not even face that, then there was no point talking about anything else.

“I’m not here to ask for your approval for me and Ying Ming to be together. I just want you to know that, to me, he is family. Everything he carries, whether it is pressure or responsibility, is also mine. Everything I accomplish, and everything I suffer, belongs to him as well. No matter what happens in the future or how things change, I will not leave him, and I will not give up.”

He finished his cigarette and stubbed it out on the stone step beside him. Looking at the woman across from him, he gave a quiet smile. “The place by his side will always be mine.”

For a long time, Ying Ming’s mother said nothing.

The two of them remained there in silence. The air between them was heavy, but Shi Yi didn’t show any sign of frustration.

It wasn’t until Ying Ming came in and said there was a phone call for his mother that the moment was broken. Still, neither of them exchanged another word. As Ying Ming stepped in, he raised an eyebrow at Shi Yi and asked if anything had happened.

Shi Yi simply smiled without answering.

Whether those words had any real effect or not, this was his position. That was all he could give.

Later, Ying Ming asked twice what exactly he had said to his mother that night. Shi Yi never told him.

——

After returning to set, Ying Ming fell back into the upside-down rhythm of filming days and nights. Shi Yi remained at home. Sometimes, if they happened to be near each other, they would squeeze in a meal together. But more often than not, their plans rarely worked out. Either something came up on Shi Yi’s end, or the production got delayed. Most of the time, they just checked in by phone.

“I ran into a reporter today while eating with Ou Yang. Someone actually had the guts to come over and ask questions.” Shi Yi tossed his jacket onto the couch and loosened his tie. He had a dinner event that night. It ended too late for him to go home, so he stayed at the apartment instead. Seeing the time, he figured Ying Ming probably wasn’t asleep yet, so he made a call.

These days, Director Ying had a pretty short fuse. If the timing was off, he could go off on someone right over the phone.

Since filming was done with live audio, if Ying Ming forgot to silence his phone, a call from Shi Yi would attract a lot of attention.

From that angle, Shi Yi sometimes felt that Ying Ming had been easier to get along with when he was still acting.

Ying Ming had just gotten out of the shower and was drinking a beer. After hearing that, he raised an eyebrow. “What did you do, smash their camera?”

“You think I’d go that far?”

“Isn’t that your usual style?” Ying Ming replied. “You’ve smashed cars before. What’s a reporter’s camera compared to that?”

Shi Yi did not answer the jab directly. He threw himself onto the couch and stretched out on his side. “I told him this was a financial interview and that I don’t accept media inquiries.”

“Oh?”

“Then I handed it over to Ou Yang.”

In the past, Shi Yi might have lost his temper over something like this. Now, he didn’t see the point. Being with Ying Ming meant he had to start dealing with things. He could not keep passing the responsibility off.

Ying Ming thought of how Ou Yang would have handled it and couldn’t help laughing. “Sometimes I think Ou Yang is more like your nanny. He takes care of every little mess you make.”

“Can’t be helped. Everyone has their strengths.”

Shi Yi reached over to the tea table and took a sip from a cup. He had quit coffee and was slowly working on quitting smoking too.

On the other end of the line, Ying Ming gave a faint laugh. The sound in his ear softened the weight of Shi Yi’s long day in a way he couldn’t quite explain. He let out a breath. “I shouldn’t call you at night. Every time I do, I end up really wanting to see you.”

If this had been the old him, he probably would have already gotten in the car and started driving over. But now, with a meeting scheduled for tomorrow, all he could do was think about it.

Ying Ming lowered his gaze. “There’s about twenty days left over here.”

“You’re almost done shooting?”

“Yeah. Just one last side plot to wrap. If we stay on schedule, it should be finished in twenty days.”

“Then I’ll come find you on the last day.” The thought that the shoot was almost over made Shi Yi unexpectedly excited.

“There’s going to be a swarm of media that day. You sure you want to deal with that?”

Shi Yi might have learned how to handle the press, but that didn’t mean he liked it. All the cameras and questions were still a pain.

But to Ying Ming’s surprise, he brushed it off completely. “It’s fine. I’ll keep a low profile. I’ll drive over, and when you’re done, call me and I’ll pick you up.”