ATGRA 4

That night, I spent a truly agonizing dawn. The heat cycle I had been delaying with acupuncture and medicine finally broke through.

My body felt as if it were burning with a fever. My face flushed, and my breathing grew rapid. Even my backside, which normally wouldn’t get wet, started leaking fluid.

The pheromones filling my room were suffocating. Ugh, that cloying sandalwood scent.

I filled the bathtub with water and tried to calm my condition, but soaking in cold water only made things worse. My rationality began to fade, and the urge to touch myself down there started to take over.

I wanted to fill myself with something. Even though I’m not usually driven by sexual desire, during this period, that urge consumed me.

There’s some odd research paper claiming intelligent people are weak to pleasure, and it seems there might be some truth to it.

“Ah, ugh…”

A pitiful sound, unbelievable even to myself, escaped my lips.

I was alone in the house, but I bit my lower lip out of embarrassment. Fumbling, I lowered my hand and grasped my member. As I rubbed my already hard cock up and down, the water in the bathtub sloshed and spilled over.

I used my fingertips to stimulate the tip. My bluntly cut nails slipped a couple of times due to my clumsy masturbation.

Like a teenage boy unable to control his urges, I frantically rubbed myself, but unfortunately, I couldn’t climax easily.

I really wanted to cry. Normally, touching the front was enough, but during a heat cycle, I needed different stimulation.

The emptiness I felt when I bought an adult toy for myself… Sexual desire is somewhat natural for humans, but in moments like this, I felt like an animal, overwhelmed with self-loathing.

Leaning against the bathtub, I slipped my hand into my already slick backside.

Unlike touching the front, probing the back never felt familiar, no matter how many times I did it. I couldn’t fathom how other Omegas endure this madness every month.

The last thread of rationality snapped and scattered. No matter how hard I tried to keep my mouth shut, moans leaked out.

No matter how many fingers I used, my hand couldn’t reach the spot that felt good. My cock, still aroused without release, dripped clear pre-cum.

Tears welled up. The whole situation was so pitiful I couldn’t bear it.

But the worst part was that a heat cycle, once triggered, wouldn’t end unless properly resolved.

Wearing only a bathrobe, I crawled out of the bathroom and curled up on my bed, pulling the blanket over me.

I had a dildo sealed away in a drawer, but I didn’t want to use it. At this age, I still wasn’t used to this, and inserting it alone was difficult. So, I buried my face in the bed sheets and continued to groan.

But no matter how much I hated it, there was no other way. Dignity is something you can only maintain after surviving. Dying during a heat cycle because I couldn’t masturbate properly would be truly horrific.

In the end, I pulled out a medium-sized dildo designed for easy insertion. My mind was crying out, wondering what this was all about, but my body, betraying my mind, trembled with anticipation for the stimulation to come.

I pushed the dildo into my already wet, loosened hole.

Just like when I used my hand earlier, putting something in there was never easy. No matter how you look at it, the fact that humans succeeded in reproduction is a biological mystery.

My hand kept slipping, and it took a while before I managed to insert the dildo halfway. I knew I needed to push it deeper to hit the good spot, but going further scared me.

Curling up, I grabbed and shook my front again. As subtle stimulation continued in the back, my erect cock finally released thick semen.

“Ugh, sob… ah, hng! Why, all of a sudden…”

Having climaxed once, I tried to remove the awkwardly inserted dildo, but because I shifted my position wrongly, it thrust deeper inside.

My mind went blank, and my vision darkened. The unexpected pleasure made my inner thighs tremble. To make matters worse, I must have pressed something, because the dildo turned on and started vibrating.

The vibration wasn’t strong, but that made it even more torturous. The ticklish sensation stirred the shallow inside relentlessly. Moans and saliva leaked through my clenched teeth.

By the time I managed to grab the end of the dildo and pull it out, I had climaxed again. After ejaculating twice, my beastly body, unaware of its master and not bonded with an Alpha, craved even more stimulation.

It would be nice to have a trustworthy Alpha.

Though rare, I’ve heard some Alphas and Omegas meet to satisfy each other’s needs without being lovers. Of course, the problem is that it usually ends with instinct taking over and imprinting.

If there were an Alpha I could meet purely for business, I wouldn’t have to endure heat cycles with this inadequate masturbation. But such Alphas are unicorns—they don’t exist.

I stared despondently at the blanket ruined by my bodily fluids.

At this rate, I’d go broke from laundry costs. I can’t even dream of using a coin laundry because of the pheromones… My practical worries soon dissolved into the endless heat.

What can I do? I’ll think about it after the heat cycle ends.

*

It’s so unfair and infuriating I can’t stand it. If the heavens are so indifferent as to give humanity these heat cycles, they should’ve made everyone suffer equally. It’s unjust for only a few to bear the pain.

But the world is inherently unfair. Spending a lonely night, I prayed to the Omega god to make those damn Alphas fall.

For the next week, I was completely confined to my house.

Regular cycles are the healthiest, but I’d been forcibly delaying my heat cycles for so long that the aftermath was brutal. It was like the homework you put off all summer vacation coming back as karma the day before school starts.

Even though I usually have little sexual desire, this period was hellish. Still, thanks to the many heat cycle-suppressing herbal medicines I’d prepared, I managed to get up after a week.

The heat cycle was bound to hit eventually. I couldn’t delay it forever.

I tried to think positively. As an Omega, even a genius oriental medicine doctor like me couldn’t completely avoid heat cycles.

So, if I have to go through them, it’s better to deal with them intensely every few months. Suffering every month is too inefficient.

The idea that Omegas can’t function in society without an Alpha is truly outdated.

Mating, bonding, whatever—I want to be a self-made oriental medicine doctor, not some Alpha’s companion.

Again, a trustworthy Alpha to help resolve cycles business-like is as rare as a unicorn. Can “trustworthy” and “Alpha” even exist on the same plane?

So, whether the Korea Food and Drug Administration approves it or not, I have to walk my own path, managing my energy with my expertise. A heat cycle, broadly speaking, is like qi deviation. If I stay sharp, I can control it.

“…Ugh, my throat’s hoarse.”

When I stepped outside in my exhausted state, I found porridge and painkillers at my doorstep. It was obvious who left them.

Jung Saebom wouldn’t do something this sweet. The next-door mom sometimes takes care of me during heat cycles, but she brings whole containers of side dishes, not delicate porridge like this.

So, the only one who’d do something this cute was Jung Pureum. I fondly thought of my cheeky next-door little brother as I picked up the bag of porridge and painkillers.

On closer inspection, there was a neatly folded note inside. It said that since he’s a Beta and unaffected by pheromones, I should call him anytime I need help.

“What a cute guy.”

How’s a kid this pure going to survive in this harsh world?

I pictured the face of the high school senior who might actually die if I told him to. If my clinic were doing a bit better, I’d hire staff, take it easy, and tutor Jung Pureum in math.

As a physical education major, he could get in with special admission, but doing well on the exam would give him more university options.

I ate the porridge and painkillers and went to return the empty container by ringing the next-door bell. At this time, Jung Pureum would be at school.

Unfortunately, it seemed the mom was out too. The door opened only after a long wait.

Jung Saebom, with her long hair disheveled like a ghost, poked her annoyed face through the door crack.

“What? It’s morning.”

“Came to return the container. Your brother gave me porridge. He’s awesome, right?”

“Just leave it out front. You woke me up.”

“What’s with that attitude toward your elder? You should be as polite as Pureum.”

“Who cares? I’m Jung Saebom, not Jung Pureum. He does that because he likes you.”

“Pureum does like me a bit.”

“…Whatever, you sinful jerk.”

Jung Saebom snatched the empty container from my hand and slammed the door in my face.

I’m used to this cold treatment by now. Jung Saebom, Jung Pureum’s real sister, doesn’t like me much. I don’t know why exactly, but she’s been prickly since the moment we met.

At first, I thought it was because she’s an Alpha, but she’s too unbiased to discriminate against Omegas. Like her mom, she keeps people around based on need, regardless of gender or trait.

It’s probably because her little brother, Jung Pureum, follows me more than her. It must feel off for a sister to see her brother prefer an outsider hyung.

I felt a bit empty. Maybe because I couldn’t properly thank the guy who gave me the porridge.

I should’ve waited to return it when Jung Pureum was home. I wanted to thank him in person, and not being able to felt a bit off.

We’re not real family, but I’m pretty close with the neighbors. For seven years, we’ve seen each other every other day.

Being stuck at home for a whole week like this is rare for me. Especially since lying in bed due to a heat cycle isn’t something that happens often.

[I ate the porridge well.]

[I’ll definitely repay you.]

[Study hard.]

I sent Jung Pureum a message with the last bit of my conscience. I don’t know if he studies at school, but soon after sending it, the read receipt appeared.

[Hyung]

[I miss you.]

[I haven’t seen you in a week.]

For a message he read instantly, the reply came much later. It wasn’t significant, but it was quite a ticklish thing to say.

I replied with a meaningless emoji, thinking it’s a bit of a shame I was born an only child. If I had a younger brother, he’d probably be like Jung Pureum.