ATGRA 48

Both Jung Pureum and I were too accustomed to resignation, each in our own way. The only difference would be that I get angry even after resigning myself to something, and Jung Pureum doesn’t.

Jung Pureum was good at enduring everything. He would just laugh it off even when treated unfairly, and chuckle cheerfully even when someone asked why a beta was swimming. Unless I, who couldn’t stand to watch, made a scene, he never got angry, as if he were the reincarnation of Buddha.

So, it was necessary for someone to use a hardline approach on his behalf. At the very least, if I’m out of his sight, he’ll focus on swimming.

My plan was to go down to my family home by dawn tomorrow.

I had intended to leave right after declaring the clinic off-limits to Jung Pureum, but as a self-employed person, it wasn’t easy to leave my post immediately.

Still, it was a relief that my employees viewed my absence positively. Nam Jungyoon looked a little unhappy, but it seemed he had decided to let me go, figuring it was for the sake of saving a life. As I expected, the “recuperation” card worked well.

I wasn’t planning on being away for more than a week anyway, so I packed lightly. Besides, all my clothes will be at my family home.

However, Jung Pureum didn’t yet know how many days I would be staying at my family home. I had told Nam Jungyoon and Ms. Kim Miyoung to keep this under wraps.

Of course, whether Jung Pureum would have an awakening and get his spot in the national team selection match back just because I went to my family home was something not even the gods of heaven and earth would know.

Still, shouldn’t I try to give a little shock to Jung Pureum, who was coolly brushing it off by saying he’d aim for the next chance? Stop laughing so cheerfully! Fight tooth and nail to claim your rights!

Jung Pureum, true to his stubborn nature, rang the doorbell insistently. Now that I’d forbidden him from entering the clinic, he came to my house every time these days.

Even though he knew my house’s passcode because we’d met at home to make up for dates when I was busy, Jung Pureum always rang the doorbell.

I let out another long sigh.

If I don’t open the door, he just stands there for a long time before leaving. Since he lives right next door, I don’t feel guilty, but it was true that my heart kept weakening. I’m doing all this for his own good, yet I felt like the bad guy.

The doorbell rang again, a long press this time. My messenger app had exploded with a barrage of messages long ago. In the end, I got up and opened the front door.

Jung Pureum was beyond the door. Just as Jung Saebom had said, his face looked a little less composed than usual.

Jung Pureum naturally stepped inside. He acted almost as if he owned the place. I didn’t stop him from coming in either.

“Hyung…”

Spotting the luggage I had packed, Jung Pureum called out to me pitifully. I felt like the worst bastard in the world, abandoning his child and running away. I was just going down to my family home for a bit, so why did he have to make such an abandoned expression?

“Are you really going?”

“Of course, I’m really going. Is there such a thing as fake going?”

“…”

“Right now, even if I’m with you, I’ll only be a hindrance.”

Why is this guy, who can’t even control his pheromones because of my influence, looking so wronged? If I’m the one to step away first, he should be saying, ‘Thank you, hyung-nim!’

I’d thought this before, but ever since Jung Pureum’s secondary gender changed, we had been continuously having a negative influence on each other. Even if it wasn’t intentional, it wasn’t good for our respective health and careers.

It’s fine for us to live as next-door neighbors, but seeing each other and sticking together every day is a definite minus. Unless we imprint and our pheromones completely stabilize, our conditions will be all over the place every time our cycles approach.

It might be okay if we slept together like before. But then, we wouldn’t be able to go back to being the close hyung and dongsaeng we used to be.

The only thing that had changed was Jung Pureum’s secondary gender, but there was too much to handle.

Pheromones, cycle periods, health and condition, each of our jobs. Anyway, humanity evolved incorrectly. If it was going to evolve to be this complicated, it should have just gone extinct long ago.

“Hyung… are you okay without me?”

A tear-soaked voice came from Jung Pureum. Am I okay without you? That’s a question I’ve never considered.

For the past few years, Jung Pureum had always been by my side. It was as natural as water boiling above a certain temperature and the Earth revolving around the Sun.

But in a few more years, it probably won’t be as natural as it is now.

Like all human relationships, ours probably isn’t immortal. It could easily be severed if one of us moved away or got a significant other.

“…Should I not be okay?”

Of course, I wouldn’t be okay, but…

We’ve known each other for years. Of course, I’ll feel empty, lonely, heartbroken, and hollow without Jung Pureum. Where else in this world is there another person besides my family who cares for me like Jung Pureum does?

Still, I deliberately spoke harshly. What was important right now was not the truth, but Jung Pureum’s participation in the national team selection match. The national team is the only important agenda.

However, an unexpected problem arose.

Jung Pureum started to shed tears, drop by drop! Oh, no. I can’t win against him when he cries.

Jung Pureum was a total crybaby in front of me. I could make him cry very easily every time. Seeing a handsome man’s tears? It’s easier for me than eating a piece of cake…

Jung Saebom and the woman from next door always made strange faces when I said Jung Pureum cried easily, but in my view, Jung Pureum was a soft-hearted person who didn’t live up to his large frame.

Didn’t he cry his eyes out before when he turned into an alpha? It was a cry-worthy situation, but a grown man who immediately resorts to tears at the drop of a hat is an attitude that needs to be fixed. As if a tear-filled honey trap would work every time!

Of course, it tends to work well on me. When will I ever be able to not weaken at the sight of his tears…

“Hey, why are you crying again? Stop it, stop.”

“Am I… not that important to you, hyung?”

“No, that’s not it…”

“I can’t… I can’t do this without you, hyung…”

Seeing him shed tears drop by drop with that pitiful face made my heart waver.

…Should I just not go to my family home?

Come to think of it, this wasn’t a problem that could be solved immediately just by me going down to my family home for a bit. Although, nothing would change if I stayed here either.

My resolve wavered precariously like a candle in the wind. However, after thinking it over and over, his military exemption was a more important issue than Jung Pureum’s tears. What could be more important to a male alpha on the verge of enlistment than a military exemption?

“Don’t cry. Crying doesn’t solve anything.”

“…”

“How can I just stand by and watch your career go wrong because of me? As a true neighbor, I have to prevent that at least.”

“I told you it’s not your fault, hyung. It’s because I’m lacking.”

“Ahem. Stop being stubborn.”

“…”

“You’re affecting the other athletes now, too. If your pheromones getting to that state isn’t my fault, then what is it?”

“I can control it well.”

“If you could, would you have been banned from participating? I don’t know for sure, but I’m probably having trouble managing my pheromones because of you, too. We need some distance between us.”

We’re not going to imprint, and we’re not in a romantic relationship. Of course, keeping our distance is the right thing to do. Since Jung Pureum can’t avoid me, I have no choice but to avoid him.

As I spoke to him as if soothing a child, Jung Pureum began to cry even more sorrowfully. Why does he cry more when I try to comfort him?

I reached out my arms and tightly hugged Jung Pureum’s wet face.

“Hey, don’t cry.”

“…”

“I really want you to succeed. I don’t mind taking a bit of a loss.”

Besides the man himself and his family, the person who most wants Jung Pureum to succeed is probably me.

“So, for now, I’m okay without you.”

Those words were sincere. Even if Jung Pureum cried his eyes out, I couldn’t lose to him every time. I became quite proud of myself. Haha, I’m no longer swayed by good looks. Good job, me.

It may sound ridiculous, but I felt a sense of kinship with the young Jung Pureum. This was because back when he was a beta, his situation and mine were generally similar.

We were an omega and a beta, respectively, so our secondary genders were different, but we were both going through a lot of crap because of those innate secondary genders.

Jung Pureum was a beta born between an alpha and a beta. As fate would have it, both his parents were in the sports field, and he himself had set his career path as a swimmer from a young age.

If he had given up midway or found a different path, he wouldn’t have had to face frustration from a young age. Because swimming, among all sports, is one where alphas have a complete advantage.

Even the woman from next door didn’t expect Jung Pureum’s secondary gender to be beta. With such a good physique, she must have naturally assumed he’d be an alpha. When her son was determined to be a beta, the woman was worried for a while. A single test result had divided heaven and hell.

After that, Jung Pureum’s potential was continuously downgraded because of his ‘beta’ secondary gender.

It was a strange thing. The fact that the beta secondary gender, which is perfect for living in the world, was a poison to Jung Pureum. While I was thinking, ‘I wish I were a beta instead,’ Jung Pureum was being excluded for being a beta.

“…When are you coming back?”

At some point, Jung Pureum stopped sniffling. My chest was soaked with his tears, but he had stopped the moment his face was hidden.

Even so, Jung Pureum clung to me. It was a very familiar sight to me. He had been overly clingy only with me since he was young. He probably felt a sense of kinship with me too…

“I’ll know when I get there.”

“You are coming back, right?”

“If I’m not coming back, I’ll have to relocate the clinic.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Do you hate me going to my family home that much?”

A sound of dislike immediately flowed from Jung Pureum, who had his head buried in my chest. Well, every time I came back from my family home, I returned looking like a zombie. It was understandable that Jung Pureum would be worried.

“Crybaby.”

“Only with you, hyung.”

“Save those words for when you get a girlfriend later. You’re heavy, so let go now.”

“…”

“I said, let go?”

As if he were planning to switch his profession to a leech, Jung Pureum did not detach from me. I eventually cupped the back of his head and pulled him off me.

“I’ll come right back up as soon as you’re able to participate in the national team selection match.”

“…Really?”

“Yes.”

Seeing his tear-streaked face made my heart weaken again. Usually, people get puffy and ugly after crying, but Jung Pureum just looked pitifully handsome. I felt a non-existent sense of compassion growing and growing.

I barely managed to kick out Jung Pureum, who insisted on sleeping over at my house. It was a big problem that even that kind of clinginess looked cute.