ATGRA 58

—Son, you went up to Seoul and haven’t called once, making your mother sad.

“…I was a bit sick after I arrived.”

—You were? Oh dear. If I had known, I would have taken you all the way to Seoul myself.

A nagging lecture to make sure I took the herbal medicine my grandfather prepared for me followed. After sending just one text saying I had arrived in Seoul, I had been so out of it that I completely forgot to call my mom.

It weighed on my mind that I had been messaging Jung Pureum constantly, yet I hadn’t spared a thought for my parents and grandfather. It seems the saying that raising a child is useless is probably true.

—Mom sent you a few packages of Gyeongokgo by courier.

“Gyeongokgo?”

—Yes. Give them to your next-door neighbors. Say it’s a gift from me, and that we’re always grateful. I’ve been feeling bad because I feel like I haven’t been able to properly take care of them.

Gyeongokgo is a famous medicine that even appears in the Dongui Bogam. It’s a type of revitalizing tonic, but it’s not really recommended for alphas. Like ginseng or Job’s tears, it doesn’t suit constitutions with a lot of internal heat.

Still, when one is low on energy or feels fatigued often, there was nothing quite like Gyeongokgo. In any case, it’s one of the most expensive herbal remedies in an oriental clinic, along with Gongjindan. Didn’t even the Dongui Bogam say that Gyeongokgo prevents all kinds of illnesses?

On top of that, the Gyeongokgo my mom made was quite expensive. This is because she doesn’t skimp on the medicinal ingredients and just dumps them in. Using a lot of ingredients doesn’t drastically improve its efficacy, but it was far more trustworthy than places that just add a bit of fragrance and claim they put in deer antler velvet.

—Originally, it’s best to make medicine after taking the pulse and doing a full examination… but since I can’t go there myself, I made it with the most standard combination.

“Thank you. I’ll make sure to deliver it well.”

—They took care of my son, so it’s the least I can do. And, you never know, right? We might become in-laws.

My mom lowered her voice and giggled. She could laugh like that because she had no idea how much my insides were burning.

When I didn’t get angry or deny it like I usually would, my mom also fell silent in an instant. An unexpected silence fell between us over the phone.

—…You. Don’t tell me you’ve already been dumped?

It was my mom who broke the silence first. It was absurd to be told I was dumped when we weren’t even dating. Why is she asking with such conviction and making a fuss?

Interpreting my silence in her own way, my mom continued.

—Goodness, I knew it. You and your father, you’re exactly alike in being full of idle thoughts and being stubborn about your pride! You’re also the same in how you make people feel like fools by getting lost in other thoughts the moment I let my guard down. How could you… you only take after your father’s bad parts…

I guarantee I probably inherited many of my mom’s bad parts too. I urgently protested, how could I be dumped when we never even dated?

Then, my mom raised her voice.

—For goodness’ sake, you’re not playing with a young kid, are you?

The expression ‘playing with’ pierced my heart. Hadn’t Jung Saebom said something like this to me too? I was so shocked I lost my words.

How could this be…

In others’ eyes, does it look like I’m playing with Jung Pureum? Even though I only realized he truly likes me a day ago? And even though it seems I like him too?

To get a grip on myself, I slapped my own cheek. It hurt less than when I stabbed myself with a large needle right before the college entrance exam.

“Mom.”

—Yes.

“Should I… maybe go on a blind date?”

—…

“…”

Her son, who used to perform an evasive dance at the mere mention of the words ‘marriage’ or ‘blind date,’ saying he would die before getting married, was now saying this. It seemed even my romance-enthusiast mom was at a loss for words.

My mom seriously asked if I was very sick. I might get dragged to a university hospital with her saying this could actually be cancer. No! I don’t want to be with a Western doctor for long! They drain my energy!

However, I couldn’t explain my situation to my mom in detail. I could handle other things, but the moment I said, ‘I think I like Jung Pureum,’ it was certain that everyone down to my third cousins once removed would find out.

It’s not that I don’t trust my mom. But aren’t parents’ loose lips a common worry for all children?

I chose my words carefully to come up with a plausible reason. I’d just dropped a bombshell, so I had to at least clean up the mess.

“Thinking about it, I think I also need to meet some alphas my own age.”

The problem wasn’t just Jung Pureum, for whom the only omegas he knew were me and Lee Seolwoo. I was also the problem. Because among the alphas I know, the only normal ones are Jung Pureum and Nam Jungyoon.

If I searched a little more through my university classmates, there would probably be a few more alphas whose names I knew. It’s just that you couldn’t call them acquaintances.

My meager social circle was surprising. …This is strange? I thought I was getting along fine in society, but the only alphas I can comfortably contact are one work colleague and the kid next door.

This is why I’m shamelessly moved by the young Jung Pureum, isn’t it?

I reflected on my chaste past. I was so crazy about studying during university that I put off having fun, and now I’m old and getting attracted to the kid next door. The Korean college entrance exam system and excessive performance-oriented culture are what encourage strange sexual desires.

—Tell me honestly. Something’s going on with you, isn’t it?

Everyone was so insistent on me going on blind dates, but now that I actually say I’ll go, I’m met with such suspicion. No matter what excuse I made, my mom wouldn’t believe me easily.

“Nothing’s going on… I’ve just reached the conclusion that I need new stimulation to get my head on straight.”

—What is it? What’s going on?

“It’s just that, I had a sort of realization. That if I live so closed off like this, everyone around me will think I’m playing with a young kid.”

—…Anyway, your extremist tendencies are just like your father’s.

When I held a grudge over what she said earlier, my mom clicked her tongue.

As my mom said, my dad is a bit extreme. When my grandfather disapproved of him before the wedding, my dad planned to elope with my mom in the middle of the night. The problem was that even my mom didn’t know about the elopement plan.

His extreme personality was the same even when he heard the news that my secondary gender was omega. My dad immediately planned to immigrate. If my grandfather hadn’t grabbed my dad by the hair and stopped him, we would have immigrated to a country where discrimination against omegas is prohibited by law.

The biggest problem was that until my dad had booked the plane tickets, no one in the family except for my dad knew about the immigration plan…

…Honestly, am I not better than my dad?

I seriously reflected on my own extreme personality. Isn’t this level of reaction calm? No matter how I look back on it, someone like me is pretty decent.

—Anyway, I do think it’s good for you to meet various alphas. These days, going on blind dates is all part of the experience.

“That’s true…”

—Then I’ll find another arrangement for you, so go on one when you have time. You have to see several other alphas to know if the kid you’re seeing now is a good one or not.

“Ah, I told you he and I are not seeing each other!”

—Not seeing each other? A guy who used to do a backward roll and run away at the mere mention of a blind date is now asking to go on one himself, and you’re still going to play dumb?

It was truly unfair. It would be less unfair if I were at least dating Jung Pureum. But there was no use denying it further here. My mom would think whatever she wanted to think anyway.

The call ended with my mom’s enthusiastic assurance that she would look into a blind date arrangement.

When I checked my phone, messages from Jung Pureum had piled up while I was on the phone with my mom. Half of them were about missing me, and the other half were small talk about his daily life.

There was nothing to laugh about, but looking at the trivial chatter made me smile. It seemed my mind had gone on a trip to the other side of the universe.

To get my head straight, I threw a stone into the middle of the trivial messages.

[Pureum]

[You said you go to the same university as a regular at our clinic]

Why didn’t you tell me first?

…I typed out the message up to ‘Why didn’t you,’ then hastily deleted it. I almost won the award for failing to act my age just now.

I’m already at the runner-up level, I can’t aim for the championship title on top of this. Jung Pureum replied swiftly, as if he had been waiting for this question.

[Lee Seolwoo]

[If you’re talking about him]

[hyung, that person is a little strange]

[(Freaked out puppy emoticon)]

Seeing the trembling puppy emoticon made me laugh again… no, I shouldn’t laugh.

When I asked what was strange about him, Jung Pureum’s reply slowed down. For a kid who doesn’t easily speak of others’ flaws to use the word ‘strange’ in the first place, it seemed Lee Seolwoo was no ordinary person either.

It’s one thing for someone to be called ‘strange’ by me. Because I tend to call anyone strange if they act even slightly outside my standards.

But to be called ‘strange’ by Jung Pureum means they are truly strange. Jung Pureum is the kind of guy who would give up his seat to an old man doing pull-ups on the handrails on Seoul Subway Line 1, a line full of eccentrics, without any prejudice.

[Just a little]

[Overwhelming]

After the word ‘overwhelming,’ there was no further explanation. Even while chattering about all sorts of things, Jung Pureum was the type to be reserved in areas like this.

Since he’s a guy who doesn’t bring up his own hardships unless it’s to listen to mine, it wasn’t surprising that he was reserved about others.

I was disappointed, but what could I do. In fact, I would have been more shocked if Jung Pureum had gone on and on about Lee Seolwoo in detail. I might have even asked, ‘Are you really Jung Pureum?’

[In case you’d introduce that person to me again, hyung]

[(Freaked out puppy emoticon)]

[You can’t sell me out]

[Because I like you the best, hyung]

Once I became aware of something about Jung Pureum, I couldn’t ask questions as easily as before. Because I was afraid Jung Pureum would react differently than I expected, or that this precariously maintained relationship would fall apart.

“Why is this so difficult…”

I lay down on the bed with my phone in one hand and closed my eyes.

I need to contact the PD of <The Alpha Who Used to Be a Beta Is Too Much!>, and I also need to run a round of advertisements for our clinic, but all my energy was drained.

I just wanted to lie here like this. Without thinking about anything… believing that nothing would change.