ATGRA 87

When I was in elementary school, I was pretty popular with my peers. It’s a bit much for me to say this myself, but I took after my mother and was a reasonably pretty child. Meaning, I had no trouble making friends.

In middle school, too, I was the class president all the way until I presented as an Omega. I don’t think my reputation was as bad as it is now. To be precise, I became class president simply because I was the best student in the class.

Even after my secondary gender presentation, my middle school life went on without any major issues. I sometimes had to leave early or be absent because of that damned heat cycle, but even if I missed a few classes, I was still number one in the entire school. It wasn’t that there weren’t guys who picked fights with me, but it was usually settled at the level of a childish squabble.

High school was better than middle school. It wasn’t just me who was crazy about entrance exams; everyone had their eyes spinning with the desire to get into college. Being a lunatic is a trait that precedes being an Alpha or Omega. Since everyone was a psycho, I didn’t stand out that much.

However, college was a different story.

Unlike elementary, middle, and high school, college was a place where all sorts of strange people from all over the country gathered. It was a psycho contest where all kinds of human archetypes, not bound by similar school districts, gathered from all corners of the nation. In that contest of strange people, I was too weak to be a contender for the championship.

On top of that, similar to the physical education department where 90 percent were Alphas, over 90 percent of the Korean medicine department were Betas. It’s not just Korean medicine; most of the people who go into medical school are generally Betas. This is because Betas, who are not constrained by secondary genders, are the safest in all emergency situations.

Imagine a cardiothoracic surgeon who is an Alpha. If an Omega who needs surgery is brought in, and that Omega happens to be right before their heat cycle, the Alpha doctor would inevitably be affected even if they didn’t want to be, and the patient’s life would be in danger.

For that reason, the university I attended was overwhelmingly Beta. I, an Omega, had enrolled in a place where nine out of ten students were Betas. When I enrolled, the atmosphere was bad because it was right after the few Omega upperclassmen who were there had dropped out one after another.

Students drop out of Korean medicine school every year, but when one of the few Omegas decided to drop out, it was easily noticeable.

It was a good thing I stormed into the university through the regular admissions process; if I had gone through an early admission interview, the interviewer would surely have asked something like, “You’re an Omega, will you be okay with school life?”

Anyway, because of this situation, I was frequently harassed by guys like Baek Wonhee. Guys who were disappointed to find out I was an Omega after thinking I was a Beta were as common as pebbles underfoot.

At least Nam Jungyoon, being an Alpha, had it a bit better even though he attended the same university. The Alpha upperclassmen on his side didn’t drop out! But I became the one and only Omega!

To make matters worse, I had moved up to Seoul to start my university life, so I had no family to rely on. Thanks to that, my freshman year was truly the worst. I would often hear whispers like “Is that him? The Omega from the class of ‘XX’?” and guys who had struck up a conversation thinking I was a Beta would slowly drift away when they heard I was an Omega.

Well, it’s not that I couldn’t understand how they felt. They probably judged that I, like the Omega upperclassmen who dropped out, wouldn’t be able to endure the six years of Korean medicine school and would fall by the wayside. Omegas aren’t given free core muscles like Alphas, after all.

Because of that, I isolated myself on my own. As a result, I didn’t have any college classmates I could call close throughout the entire six years of Korean medicine school. Far from being close, everyone was just an awkward acquaintance.

Among the underclassmen, there were some who tried all sorts of flattery to get a hold of my academic cheat sheets, but aside from those sycophantic flatterers, I was always alone.

I pretended to be fine back then, but I was lonely. I couldn’t expect any kindness without strings attached.

If I made even one small mistake, I would hear things like, “That’s just like an Omega,” or “What’s the use of being good at studying? They won’t accept you at a university hospital since you’re an Omega.”

If I talked to someone for even a little while, whispers would follow, asking if I was hitting on them, even if the other person was a Beta. Hey! I have standards, you know! Omegas have standards too! I wanted to scream out of frustration, but there was no one who would listen to me sincerely even if I did.

Because of that, my mental state became worn down, and it felt like the whole world was deliberately trying to tear me down. It was a tremendous victim complex.

Once that victim complex started to set in, I became suspicious of even the people who approached me. Isn’t this guy also going to sneer at me later, asking if I was an Omega? I couldn’t stop such thoughts from popping into my head.

I pretended not to care and just studied, but since I’m only human, I felt miserable every time I ate alone, attended lectures alone, a group chat was made without me, and the professor had to personally form a group for me when I couldn’t find partners for a group project.

Nam Jungyoon said I was quite popular in college, but that’s all baseless nonsense. If I was popular, why did no one talk to me? And why, when they did talk to me and pretended to be a little friendly, did they cut me off if I didn’t answer their calls for a bit because I was studying?

Even though I thought I had grown used to all the discrimination and disregard, my college years remained a rather unpleasant memory for me.

If Jung Pureum hadn’t stuck by my side back then and worked hard to take care of my mental state, I too would have considered taking a year off, treating it as if I’d gone to the military.

I stared blankly at the university logo at the top of the online bulletin board. How did I really graduate…

After graduating, I don’t even sleep facing the direction of the university, but now I’m posting a job opening on the university’s bulletin board. You really never know what life will throw at you.

Jung Pureum gave me a video call around 10 PM. I was half-dozing and my head shot up in surprise at the vibration of my phone.

I had been looking over the submitted resumes and had dozed off a little, tired of the repetitive content, but the moment I saw Jung Pureum’s face, I woke up completely. I want to stop seeing the words ‘diligence’ and ‘perseverance’ in the strengths section…

—Did I wake you? You looked like you were sleeping.

“No, I wasn’t sleeping, just dozed off a bit.”

—It’s already past ten… Go to bed early, don’t stay up all night again.

“Nagging again. Did your training just end at this hour?”

—Training ended around eight, but the other athletes asked me to have dinner with them. I’m on my way back to the dorms after dinner right now.

“…Then are the archery athletes there too?”

At my question, Jung Pureum narrowed his eyes. A sharp question came back, asking if I was more interested in archery than swimming.

Of course. They say it’s several times harder to become a national representative in archery than it is to go to a competition and win a medal. I couldn’t help but be curious about the archers who made it through those fierce preliminary rounds to become national athletes.

“You must have gotten pretty close to the other athletes already, if you’re even having dinner together.”

—I’m the only one in my event, so everyone takes good care of me.

He said he was on his way back to the dorms after dinner, and someone nearby called out Jung Pureum’s name.

—What, are you on the phone with your boyfriend?

—Yes.

—Guys, Pureum’s on the phone with his boyfriend!

—What, what? Let me see his face!

Jung Pureum casually introduced me as his boyfriend to the other athletes. Even though we weren’t officially dating yet, he had a very confident attitude.

However, I didn’t want to embarrass Jung Pureum by saying, “He’s not my boyfriend,” in front of other people. We’re going to date after the Olympics anyway, so what’s the point of denying it?

—No way, I can’t show you. My hyung will wear out.

—Ah, you’re so cheap, seriously!

—Guys, Jung Pureum says he can’t show us because his boyfriend’s face will wear out!

—Booo, get a room, booo.

It seemed he had grown much closer to the other athletes in just a few days since entering the training camp. Jung Pureum said it nonchalantly, but to me, that level of friendliness felt amazing.

Saying there were too many people bothering him, Jung Pureum started running with his phone. I could still hear the other athletes’ jeers from behind—”Go to hell, you lovey-dovey couple!”—but because the screen was shaking so much, it was impossible to see their faces.

—Hyung, can you hear me now?

Jung Pureum, having arrived inside his dorm, raised a hand to me. I slowly nodded my head.

—Is it the phone’s camera quality? You look like you’ve lost some weight, hyung.

“It’s because we’re experiencing a manpower shortage.”

—A manpower shortage? Was the employee you hired last time a spy again?

“Don’t even mention it. Apparently, that one came in to steal the herbal medicine formula that gets rid of the heat cycle, not the Gongjindan.”

It felt like just yesterday that I was anxious because I couldn’t get approval from the Ministry of Food and Drug Safety, but now, patent thieves were constantly showing their faces at our clinic.

“I wish a good associate director would just fall from the sky. We need more full-time staff if we’re going to close during the Olympics.”

—So you’re planning to come to Japan for the Olympics. Then you’ll have to close for at least a week. Will that be okay?

“Even if it’s not okay, what can I do? I have to go see you.”

—…

“It’s admirable to see you getting along well with other people, but I miss you like crazy, too. I wish the Olympics would start soon.”

Still, I was a little relieved that Jung Pureum had made it clear to the other athletes that he had a boyfriend. From now on, if someone asks if I have a boyfriend, I should just say yes. I’ve been too concerned with the facts until now.

“Is Jincheon okay? I thought you were going to Taereung…”

These days, the Olympic national team training camp was in Jincheon, not Taereung. That meant he had to go all the way down to North Chungcheong Province. The physical distance between Jung Pureum and me was now greater than when the training center was in Taereung.

Oblivious to my feelings, Jung Pureum just nodded with a smiling face. Right, so he likes Jincheon.

Perhaps communal living suited his constitution; unlike me, who was wilting, Jung Pureum looked extremely healthy. I was worried that kids who liked Jung Pureum might start flocking to him again.

I had no intention of interfering in Jung Pureum’s relationships like some old fool, but I was envious of the athletes who got to spend time with him.

Because Jung Pureum and I are a Korean medicine doctor and a swimmer, we are in a relationship where we would never share the same space for work. If we hadn’t lived next door to each other, we never would have been able to become this close.

—Every time I talk to you on the phone, hyung, I also wish the Olympics would start sooner. So I can hurry up and bring back a medal…

“Yeah, my heart feels empty without you too, hyung.”

—Really?

“However, complacency is the shortcut to ruin. Don’t be lazy in your training while you still have time…”

We video-chatted for a whopping 1 hour, 43 minutes, and 21 seconds. One hour was trivial chatter, and 43 minutes and 21 seconds were recent life updates.

If it weren’t for my phone’s low battery, we probably would have talked for another two hours or so. It was quite nice to see Jung Pureum’s face for the first time in a while, even if it was through a screen.

After ending the call, I went back to organizing the resumes I had been looking at while dozing off.

As soon as the call with Jung Pureum ended, sleepiness washed over me again. However, I couldn’t sleep now. I had to finish reviewing all the resumes by dawn today to be able to bring in a new employee even a day sooner.

After staring at the computer screen until my eyes felt like they would fall out during the early morning hours, I was able to narrow down a decent selection from the people who had applied for the associate director position at our clinic.