ACBAM 54: To Distinguish

Su Shijin’s words worked better than any hangover cure.

Gu Weiyang felt his mind had never been clearer, while his heart had never been colder.

The marriage certificate hadn’t even had time to warm up, and it was already about to turn into a divorce certificate?

Gu Weiyang’s hand rested on his leg, tapping lightly as he pondered how he could gently persuade Dr. Su to change his mind if he really did bring up divorce.

It was no easy task, especially since he had no idea what had happened to Dr. Su during the day that could have sparked the thought of leaving.

At the very least, Gu Weiyang was certain that Dr. Su wasn’t thinking about divorce because of what happened during his last susceptibility period. Aside from that, Gu Weiyang couldn’t think of anything else he might have done to make Su Shijin dislike him.

He frowned in thought for a long time, unable to figure it out, until he suddenly caught the flaw in Su Shijin’s earlier words.

“You just said, if I wanted, it could be that way. So, on the other hand, does that mean as long as I don’t want it, then we don’t have to divorce?”

Su Shijin nodded. “That’s what I meant.”

Gu Weiyang eased a little. As long as it wasn’t an insistence on divorce, that was enough.

“Then what was it you wanted to tell me at the start?” Gu Weiyang finally circled back to the point. “Did I do something lately that upset you?”

“No.” Su Shijin shook his head quickly. “These days with you have been very comfortable, there’s been nothing unpleasant at all.”

“Then what is it?” Gu Weiyang asked in confusion.

Su Shijin clasped his hands together on the table, exhaling slowly, as if he had just made some weighty decision. “Mr. Gu, do you like me?”

For a moment, Gu Weiyang’s mind went completely blank.

His first reaction was—was it that obvious?

He carefully reflected on everything he had done toward Su Shijin since their marriage. He felt he had managed the balance well, never stepping too close, but never seeming too distant either. So how had he been found out?

Seeing Gu Weiyang lost in thought, Su Shijin quietly reached out and waved his hand lightly. “Mr. Gu?”

“Ah.” Gu Weiyang responded, but it was clear his mind hadn’t yet returned from where it had wandered.

So Su Shijin didn’t press him further. He had the patience to wait.

After all, asking such a sudden and blunt question, it was only natural that Mr. Gu couldn’t answer right away.

In truth, Su Shijin himself was a little nervous. What he hoped for was a denial, it’s better to have been vainly mistaken than for Mr. Gu to truly like him.

Su Shijin was so used to keeping calm that even in a moment like this, not a trace of emotion showed on his face.

So when Gu Weiyang’s gaze fell on him, he couldn’t make sense at all of why Su Shijin would suddenly ask such a question.

Or rather, Gu Weiyang had no idea what kind of answer Su Shijin wanted to hear.

But he didn’t overthink it, because no matter who asked him that question, there could only be one answer.

“Yes.” Gu Weiyang admitted.

“I like you.”

When he spoke those four words, his voice was low and rich with magnetism, as if it cut straight through the distance between them and slipped directly into Su Shijin’s ear, leaving him dazed for an instant.

It was clearly the answer he had expected, yet hearing it aloud stirred a feeling that wasn’t quite the same.

“Why?” he heard himself ask.

What surprised Su Shijin was that he didn’t feel any aversion at all. He was simply puzzled because why would Gu Weiyang like him?

Leaving aside the fact that they hadn’t even met before the marriage, even afterward, Su Shijin didn’t think he had done anything that could make Gu Weiyang fall for him.

Could it be the influence of pheromones?

Su Shijin felt that was the most likely reason. After all, their pheromone compatibility rate was indeed high enough to spark love at first sight.

Even he couldn’t deny that, at times, he harbored a certain fondness for Mr. Gu.

Many people with high compatibility rates mistake the pull of pheromones for affection. Su Shijin gazed quietly at Gu Weiyang, wondering if he too had fallen into that trap.

But before he could sort out his thoughts, Gu Weiyang’s answer dispelled his doubts.

“There are many reasons,” Gu Weiyang said, as if he knew exactly what was on his mind, “but I can promise you, it’s not because of pheromone compatibility. I’m not the kind of person who would confuse the attraction between pheromones with a feeling like love.”

Su Shijin blinked, then looked at Gu Weiyang’s serious expression and slowly nodded, showing that he understood.

Seeing that Su Shijin had taken his words to heart, Gu Weiyang finally let out a breath of relief.

“So today, you just wanted to clear this up?” he asked.

“This is part of it. I didn’t want to clearly sense that you liked me and still pretend I knew nothing. That wouldn’t be fair to you,” Su Shijin said.

Gu Weiyang couldn’t quite understand what was unfair about it. He was the one secretly in love, scheming to marry the other while hiding his feelings. If anything, he had only himself to blame.

Though, it seemed Dr. Su had no idea that he had already liked him even before the marriage…

Gu Weiyang thought it over and decided to stay silent for now.

After all, if Dr. Su found out that he had approached him with intention from the very start, then divorce really wouldn’t be far off.

Su Shijin went on, “And another thing—I hope that during the term of our agreement, you won’t hold any expectations about our relationship. I won’t fall for you just because you like me.”

Su Shijin had always been straightforward and decisive when turning someone down. Since he had gotten a clear answer from Gu Weiyang, his rejection naturally came without hesitation.

And all of this was within Gu Weiyang’s expectations.

“Don’t worry. Whether in the past or now, I would never force you into any choice,” Gu Weiyang swore, raising his hand.

Watching him swear, Su Shijin’s lips curved slightly as he gave a faint smile. “Of course. You already gave me the answer back when you lost control during your susceptibility period. I trust you.”

Gu Weiyang pressed his advantage. “So… we’re not divorcing?”

Looking at the eager expression on his face, Su Shijin couldn’t bring himself to say something hurtful like, ‘Whether we divorce depends only on you.’ Though, truth be told, his rejection just now had already been quite wounding.

Su Shijin let out a helpless sigh. He truly felt he was affected by their pheromone compatibility because how else could he be softhearted at a time like this?

“I wasn’t planning to bring up divorce in the first place,” Su Shijin said.

His intention today had simply been to clear up the matter of feelings with Mr. Gu, and then decide whether or not to divorce based on his attitude.

Who could have guessed that before he even finished speaking, Mr. Gu had jumped straight to asking if he wanted a divorce.

In that situation, Su Shijin could only follow along with his words.

Only then did Gu Weiyang belatedly realize that it was he himself who had blocked off the path from the very start, and then spent all this time on edge because of it.

Dr. Su hadn’t intended to bring up divorce at all!

Gu Weiyang suddenly felt an ache in his teeth.

If ever there was an example of shooting oneself in the foot, this was it.

Luckily, the outcome turned out well in the end. Otherwise, Gu Weiyang would never have forgiven himself for asking about divorce in the first place.

“I misunderstood,” Gu Weiyang exhaled slowly, calming himself. “So, shall we continue getting along the same way as before?”

Su Shijin, of course, had no objections to that.

—

Once everything had been cleared up, it was already late. After exchanging goodnights, the two of them returned to their own rooms to rest.

Back in his room, Su Shijin remembered to check his phone and saw Jian Lexin’s message saying she’d gotten home safely. He replied: [Okay, rest early. Good night.]

Su Shijin set his phone aside, went to the walk-in closet for a set of pajamas, and stepped into the bathroom.

He had been out all day, worked up a good sweat, and after so much walking his calves were sore and heavy. He soaked in the tub for quite a while before finally getting up to rinse off under the shower.

After bathing, Shijin didn’t dry his hair right away. With a towel draped over his head, he sat on the edge of the bed, slowly rubbing at his damp hair as he gazed at the night outside the floor-to-ceiling window.

He felt there was something strange about himself.

Just as Jian Lexin had said, if he truly didn’t like Mr. Gu, then the moment he realized Mr. Gu had feelings for him, he should have asked for a divorce right away.

Yet not only did he fail to do that, he had softened tonight again and again, and even went so far as to comfort Mr. Gu’s emotions in the end.

That wasn’t like him at all.

After drying the droplets of water sliding down from his hair tips, Su Shijin stopped what he was doing and quietly gazed out the window.

But some things couldn’t be figured out just by calming down. Especially since the relationship between his two fathers had left deep scars on him as a child, it made it even harder for Su Shijin to distinguish between the pull of a high pheromone compatibility and the feelings born from his own heart.

Mr. Gu had said he could tell the difference whether it was genuine affection for him, or just the pull of pheromones.

But how did he tell them apart?

Maybe it wasn’t something so complicated after all, only something Su Shijin never learned how to do.

After all, his alpha father had convinced himself he never truly liked his omega father, that it was only the pull of pheromones that made him mark him, which eventually led to Su Shijin’s birth.

His omega father had been trapped in that relationship all along, unable to break free, unable even to tell whether it was pheromones that bound him, or if he had truly fallen in love.

His slowness, perhaps, was something he inherited from his omega father. With such an almost perfect match with Mr. Gu, he would probably never be able to tell in this lifetime where his feelings for him truly came from.

But that didn’t matter.

Even if he could tell, it still wouldn’t matter.

Su Shijin would never give himself to any alpha. The thought of being marked, of having his pheromones take control and make him crave someone—that was something he had no desire to experience.

He still remembered clearly the time Gu Weiyang lost control during his susceptible period. Just the scent of those pheromones alone had been enough to set his body aflame, nearly driving him into a frenzy of desperate craving.

He had completely lost his composure then, though thankfully, no one had seen it.

If he were ever marked, he would probably lose control even more terribly.

Su Shijin couldn’t bear the thought of seeing himself like that—like his omega father, kneeling beneath his alpha father, begging for pheromones. The memory made his chest tighten and his breath falter.

Su Shijin closed his eyes, forcing himself to break free from the memories. He drew in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, calming his heart.

Things were fine as they were now.

It was only for a year, nothing unexpected would happen.