AOA 64

The shame and embarrassment that had made me want to crawl into a hole came flooding back like a rising tide. It had been pure luck that Baek Mugyeong hadn’t gotten angry or asked what I was doing and instead suggested we have sex.

“Please rest well.”

With a slight bow, Baek Mugyeong turned and left the bedroom. I waited a while before heading back to my own room.

Unlike Baek Mugyeong’s bedroom, where pheromones and other smells were all mixed together, mine felt crisp and clean.

Still wearing the bathrobe, I sprawled out on the bed.

“Ugh…”

The symptoms of heat—fever, muscle aches, sensitivity—were all gone. In their place was a dull ache in my waist, thighs, and that unmentionable place.

I didn’t regret the impulsive sex. Still, it left me feeling a bit strange.

“It really is the pheromones.”

Before regression, I had lived with Baek Mugyeong for two years without manifesting. I had never experienced a heat, and even when Baek Mugyeong went into rut, I hadn’t noticed.

So I thought that as long as we slept in separate rooms, it wouldn’t be a problem this time either. I had never imagined we’d get intoxicated by each other’s pheromones and end up having sex without meaning to.

I found myself agreeing with what Baek Mugyeong said about not liking the situation. I didn’t regret having sex with him on impulse, but the thought of the same thing happening again in the future made me feel overwhelmed.

Divorce wasn’t even on the table yet. But living separately wasn’t possible either, especially because of Baek Jinseok. Just as Baek Mugyeong had said, the best option was for us to avoid each other during rut or heat.

“What a mess.”

Once again, I realized how frightening it was when your own body didn’t obey you. I finally understood why Baek Mugyeong had once made that weird offer to introduce me to a “safe alpha” at the hospital.

There were too many inconveniences that came with going from being a beta to an omega. I hated the alphas who picked fights out of nowhere, and I hated how I could end up wanting an alpha against my will.

Worrying about what would happen the next time heat came felt pointless, so I gave up. If Baek Mugyeong locked his bedroom door, there wouldn’t be a repeat of today’s disgrace.

I was trying to clear my head when my stomach growled. As soon as I remembered that I’d skipped dinner, I started to feel genuinely hungry. Still lying in bed, I glanced over at the clock on the table. It was well past 10 p.m.

“Let’s eat something.”

I pushed myself up. Ever since the regression, I had tried to live as responsibly as possible. I especially made sure to eat regularly. If a person doesn’t eat, they don’t have any strength. Their mood sinks, and their thoughts get short-sighted.

I took off the bathrobe, changed into casual clothes, and headed to the kitchen. Given the time, Kim Juhyun had already gone home. Still, there were some leftovers in the fridge.

Though my heat was over, my appetite was intact. I filled my stomach and focused on trying to clear my mind. I pushed away the sudden heat, waking up naked in Baek Mugyeong’s bedroom, and having sex with him in full consciousness.

It wasn’t even my first time. A lot had changed since before the regression. That’s why I figured it was better for my mental health not to overthink it.

Nothing in life is ever that simple. Sometimes, you have to personally experience how an action done without much thought can boomerang right back at you.

Like that time I was playing soccer with friends, and the ball I kicked hit someone in the head and gave them a concussion, we had to call 911. I never would’ve imagined that happening.

Today was the same. I’d been trying to prevent something bad from happening in the future, but instead, I ended up provoking someone else.

*

Slap.

The sound of a slap rang out. Sharp pain made me squeeze my eyes shut.

“You idiot. You call that an excuse?”

My biological father shouted, his voice sharp. Before the regression, no matter what I said, he always got angry and accused me of talking back. He would spit out insults about how ignorant I was and sometimes even hit me.

That’s why, after the regression, I tried to act like the perfect, obedient son who listened to everything he said. No matter what he barked, I would quietly bow my head and stay still. He’d scold me for being too gloomy, but the nagging definitely decreased.

Especially after I married Baek Mugyeong, I hardly saw him anymore. In the two months since the wedding, I could count on one hand the number of times we’d met.

If I didn’t see him, I couldn’t be interfered with, that was one reason I saw the marriage in a positive light.

But there are always variables.

Today, the reason my father was angry had to do with my mother’s side of the family. On Lunar New Year, I had talked about them in front of Baek Mugyeong’s relatives. It was to stop rumors from spreading that my birth mother had been a mistress, and it worked.

But other rumors took its place. That my maternal grandfather was a loan shark king, that my father had married for money.

It wasn’t hard to guess who spread those nasty rumors. Most likely, it was Im Songyoon.

Personally, I didn’t care that my now-ruined maternal family had once been in the loan business. But clearly, my father did.

He called me in after hearing the gossip from somewhere. The stiff look on his face told me something was up. Sure enough, he started grilling me about where I had spoken about my maternal side.

When I explained what happened at Baek Jinseok’s house on Lunar New Year, he slapped me. Called me a fool for disgracing him.

Since the regression, this was the first time he’d hit me. The jolt of violence snapped me right back to reality.

My father cared deeply about appearances and reputation. He constantly talked about manners and etiquette and took pride in his family name. But I never thought he’d blow up like this just because of some gossip about the loan business.

If it mattered so much, he shouldn’t have married my mother in the first place.

I swallowed that thought before it could leave my mouth. My younger brother’s treatment wasn’t finished yet, and my stock shares were still under his control. I had to endure it.

Of course, even bowing my head and keeping my mouth shut didn’t stop the torrent of scolding.

“Do you even think before you speak? Huh? Why aren’t you saying anything? Cat got your tongue?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t just say you’re sorry!”

“As I mentioned earlier, my aunt asked about my mother’s side…”

“Then you should’ve just ended it with Daon Savings Bank! Why the hell did you bring up Daedongyang Credit? I never even taught you about that! Huh? Who the hell did you get that brainless stupidity from?”

His irritated scolding continued. He kept demanding to know how I found out my grandfather’s name, mocking me for being proud of having a loan shark grandfather, yelling about how I’d made us a laughingstock.

I kept my mouth shut and endured his barrage. But eventually, he said he was going to stop my brother’s treatment.

Just like before the regression, I dropped to my knees. I begged for forgiveness, promised it would never happen again.

But unlike before, he was firm.

“Reflect on how badly you messed up.”

“I was wrong. Father.”

“If you were wrong, you need to be punished. If that boy dies because he couldn’t get treatment in time, it’ll be your fault. Got it?!”

I clung to him, begging, but it didn’t work. He told me not to make him angrier and to get out of his sight. I couldn’t resist anymore.

I wanted to scream that if my brother died, I’d blow up this whole marriage too. But I didn’t dare. I had no idea what he might actually do if I said that.

“I’ll be going now.”

In the end, I bowed deeply and left.

The walk back home was devastating.

I knew in my head that I just needed to wait for his anger to cool. That I could go back later and kneel again. But the thought that my brother’s treatment might be interrupted right now made it impossible to calm down.

I was furious at my father for using my brother’s life as leverage. And I hated myself for being powerless to stop it.

If I sold my stocks, I could cover the treatment costs. The second surgery was scheduled for spring. I still had a few months. Surely, my father would calm down by then.

I tried to convince myself it would be okay. That I could handle this. But it wasn’t okay. I felt choked with frustration.

Since the regression, I had done everything I could to avoid the worst. Shutting down rumors about my mother being a mistress was part of that. But I never imagined it would provoke my father like this.

Even knowing the future, one thing hadn’t changed, my father still held my brother’s life in his hands. If he barked, I had to obey. If he raged, I had to grovel.

I told myself I could endure any amount of humiliation or threats if it meant my brother would live. That it was all worth it.

But taking the beating while helpless made me feel like I was rotting inside. The injustice, the rage, the disgust, all of it surged up and sank down again, over and over.

I clenched my teeth, telling myself not to cry because crying meant I lost. But as soon as I parked in the underground garage, I hit my limit.

“Fuck.”

Tears burst from my eyes. Hot streams rolled down my cheeks. I scolded myself, asking what I had to cry about, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

Even before the regression, I’d cried many times out of sheer frustration and anger.

After a good cry, my energy drained. Swearing I’d take revenge someday, I left the garage and headed up the stairs.

I had skipped my English academy class to see my father, so I got home around my usual time.

The short winter day had already ended. Still, the garden was bright thanks to the building lights and lamps.

At the edge of the garden, I saw Baek Mugyeong talking on the phone. I’d noticed his car in the underground parking lot, he must have arrived early for some reason.