Chapter 15

The two chatted casually for a while. Lin Ze asked Zhao Yuhang how his trip to Chongqing had been and was surprised to learn that Zhao Yuhang had actually done his undergraduate studies in Chongqing before pursuing a combined master’s and doctoral program in Shanghai. He was now a Ph.D. holder, making them alumni from the same university in Chongqing. Instantly, their relationship grew closer. Zhao Yuhang had returned for a class reunion and had been staying at his college classmate’s place for five days.

Lin Ze explained he was heading to Beijing for a conference. Zhao Yuhang mentioned that there were quite a few gay men in Chongqing, most of whom were bottoms, and even most tops had somewhat effeminate personalities. Strangely enough, tops seemed to be in short supply.

Lin Ze asked, “In the north, are there more tops than bottoms?”

Zhao Yuhang replied, “Yeah, in places like Henan, Harbin, and Liaoning, I’ve been there. Northern men are less willing to be bottoms. There are a lot of top-top pairings, and pure bottoms aren’t as common as they are in Chongqing.”

Lin Ze remarked, “Chongqing also has a lot of effeminate guys.”

Zhao Yuhang shrugged, “Some people are into that—they think it’s nice, gentle, and gives off a feminine vibe.”

As they were talking, both of them spotted a flamboyantly dressed man emerging from the restroom, instantly blinding them with his appearance.

Zhao Yuhang and Lin Ze exchanged mischievous grins before bursting into laughter, nearly doubling over.

Lin Ze knew Zhao Yuhang also had a thing for gentle, youthful types. They chatted for half an hour, and Zhao Yuhang came across as straightforward and uncomplicated, answering whatever Lin Ze asked without hesitation. He worked at a design institute in Beijing, and Lin Ze knew that highly educated designers like him earned quite a handsome salary. Zhao Yuhang also mentioned that he had obtained a first-class architect qualification, which he registered with his institute. Now, he could come and go as he pleased, and even if he did nothing, he’d still earn 50,000 yuan a year.

Zhao Yuhang had four older sisters, all from a rural background, each formidable in their own way. They had supported him through college and then his Ph.D. As the youngest in the family, his brothers-in-law all ran businesses in Beijing and were quite well-off. One of them even lent him a BMW, asking him to run errands and help out when he wasn’t working.

Listening to this, Lin Ze felt like he was about to have a stroke. It seemed studying hard really did pay off. But upon reflection, he realized he wasn’t doing too badly himself. Zhao Yuhang then mentioned feeling lonely, so Lin Ze asked if he had a boyfriend.

Zhao Yuhang nodded, his expression turning gloomy.

The airport announcement called for boarding. Zhao Yuhang quickly offered, “I’ve got to go. You still have some time before your flight. Will you be bored here? Want me to find someone to chat with you?”

Lin Ze hurriedly declined, and Zhao Yuhang dashed off to board. After a few steps, he suddenly remembered something, turned back, and exchanged phone numbers with Lin Ze, insisting that Lin Ze look him up when he arrived in Beijing. Then he sprinted away.

Lin Ze realized Zhao Yuhang was a loud and talkative guy. After all that conversation, he’d mostly talked about himself and hadn’t even asked what Lin Ze did for a living. Were all northern men this rough around the edges? Still, he was quite amusing.

Ten minutes later, Zhao Yuhang returned with a resigned expression, showing Lin Ze his newly exchanged boarding pass.

Lin Ze nearly died laughing. Zhao Yuhang’s flight had been delayed until 3 a.m., and the airline had rebooked him onto Lin Ze’s flight.

“Perfect,” Lin Ze grinned. “I was just getting bored. Come on, sit.”

“What do you do for work?” Zhao Yuhang asked.

“I’m a journalist,” Lin Ze replied, and the two began exchanging gossip. Lin Ze shared some stories from his college days, and since they were alumni, they had plenty to talk about—which cafeteria had the best food, which professor’s elective courses were the most famous. Zhao Yuhang kept sighing about how much Chongqing had changed.

They chatted animatedly, continuing their conversation from the waiting area all the way onto the plane. Zhao Yuhang asked the flight attendant to rearrange their seats, and the two moved to an empty row at the back. After buckling up, Lin Ze started talking about his job search after graduation.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Zhao Yuhang asked bluntly. “Want me to set you up? You’re so handsome, you won’t have any trouble finding one in Beijing…”

Lin Ze’s expression instantly changed. They had been chatting so enthusiastically that half the plane had probably heard.

“Shh…” Lin Ze wished he could disappear into the floor.

“How did you and your guy meet? How long has it been?” Lin Ze asked, shifting to gossip mode.

Zhao Yuhang held up five fingers and began recounting his own story. As Lin Ze listened, he couldn’t help but think how absurd life could be.

Zhao Yuhang turned out to be a “straight” guy who had been “bent.” He had met a gay man by chance and initially had no idea about his orientation. They often hung out, playing badminton, drinking tea, and going to bars. After a while, the other guy confessed his feelings, and Zhao Yuhang, after barely any hesitation, fell for him.

Zhao Yuhang’s partner had a similar background—a rural kid who had made it to university and was now struggling to support his family in Beijing. Unfortunately, unlike Zhao Yuhang, he didn’t have supportive siblings but instead had to deal with a bunch of difficult relatives.

His partner, Xiao Bai, was barely scraping by in Beijing. His job had decent benefits but came with enormous pressure. He was ostracized by colleagues, harassed by his boss, and constantly forced to work overtime—often with nothing to do. His boss, bored at night, would call everyone in for pointless meetings.

Lin Ze groaned, “Ugh, I hate that kind of workplace. Bosses who create busywork for no reason are just idiots. They don’t want to go home to their wives, so they torment their employees instead, making them stay late, drink, or sing karaoke.”

Zhao Yuhang nodded. “Exactly. The stress is insane, and then there’s the traffic jam on the way home. It’s infuriating.”

Lin Ze asked, “Does Xiao Bai have good career prospects?”

Zhao Yuhang shook his head dismissively. “He’s too proud to suck up to the boss. I can’t even criticize him for it—he’d just yell at me.”

Lin Ze thought there wasn’t much to be done about that. People had their own principles. Xiao Bai was probably a literary type, just trying to get by in a state-owned company.

Zhao Yuhang looked troubled again, and Lin Ze’s journalistic instincts kicked in—he almost reflexively reached for his recorder.

What came next nearly made Lin Ze spit blood.

Both Zhao Yuhang’s and Xiao Bai’s parents were pressuring them relentlessly. Zhao Yuhang was the youngest in his family, and his parents were already in their sixties, desperate for grandchildren. Xiao Bai, on the other hand, was the eldest in his family, with a younger brother who had dropped out of high school and was now drifting aimlessly.

His entire family had sacrificed to put him through college, and now the burden of supporting them all fell on him. Xiao Bai’s mother was a typical rural woman, constantly nagging him. After five years of scrimping and saving, Xiao Bai had managed to buy a small apartment in the Beijing suburbs, where his whole family had moved in, expecting him to marry a wife, take care of his parents, and produce a grandson for his mother.

The situation was just too painful. Lin Ze thought.

“So what are you going to do?” Lin Ze asked.

“What can we do?”, Zhao Yuhang , “We had a fake marriage last year. Now we’re just waiting to divorce.Lin Ze: “…”

Lin Ze was familiar with the concept of “fake marriages” (形婚). Many of his friends had been pressured into it by their parents, pairing up with lesbians to keep up appearances. Usually, it was a lesbian couple and a gay couple matching up to deceive their families.

But what Lin Ze had never understood was: How did they handle the issue of children?

Perhaps because he’d been holding it in for too long, or maybe because they’d hit it off, Zhao Yuhang began pouring out his family troubles. Two years ago, he and Xiao Bai had agreed to each find a lesbian for a fake marriage, planning to continue their relationship afterward.

But finding suitable partners wasn’t easy. Zhao Yuhang ended up with a single femme lesbian (小P)¹P: Short for ‘Po,’ meaning ‘wife’. 小P: Little P, while Xiao Bai paired with a butch lesbian (T)²T: Short for ‘Tomboy’.

Lin Ze had always been confused about these terms, so Zhao Yuhang explained, “A ‘P’ is the more feminine one in a lesbian relationship, the gentle one. A ‘T’ is the…”

Zhao Yuhang then lowered his voice and began detailing their fake marriage.

The main goal wasn’t just marriage—their parents wanted grandchildren. And in many rural areas with strong patriarchal values, having a girl wasn’t enough; they had to keep trying until they had a boy to carry on the family line.

Zhao Yuhang was well aware of this. He knew that while marriage could be faked, the issue of offspring couldn’t. So they had all agreed to have children.

At this point, Lin Ze sensed something was off. “How? Are the women willing to have kids?”

Zhao Yuhang said, “Xiao Bai’s T isn’t too keen on it, but mine… I’ve asked the P a few times, and she said she’s willing. Her parents want grandchildren too.”

Lin Ze was stunned. “How would that even work? Like… with a syringe?”

Zhao Yuhang nodded. “Yeah, put the, uh, sample in a syringe and give it to her.”

Lin Ze thought that was one way to do it.

Zhao Yuhang continued, “Xiao Bai also agreed—after marriage, they’d have a kid. Though I’m not sure if he could even get it up with a T… same method, though.”

Lin Ze made a noncommittal sound. Since they’d just met, he didn’t feel it was his place to judge, but he couldn’t help asking, “You and the P live together every day. Doesn’t that cause problems?”

“It did. And it’s my own damn fault,” Zhao Yuhang admitted.

Lin Ze perked up, urging Zhao Yuhang to continue. After marrying the P, Zhao Yuhang found that her monthly salary of 3,000-4,000 yuan wasn’t even enough for her own clothes in Beijing. She lived in his place, and he felt bad seeing her lonely at home, so he gave her a few thousand in pocket money each month.

Somehow, the P started developing feelings for him.

Meanwhile, Xiao Bai was under immense pressure. His rural mother lived with him, his good-for-nothing brother lounged on the couch, and after getting off work at 8 or 9 p.m., he had to endure his parents’ endless nagging about marriage. Their life plan for him was rigid: study → graduate → earn money → buy a house → find a partner → marry (with a grand hometown banquet) → have a son (keep trying until they got one) → throw another banquet…

Xiao Bai was going insane. On top of that, he had to listen to his mother scold his brother. No supper, coming home furious after being berated by his boss, only to face more chaos at home.

At first, Zhao Yuhang would drive Xiao Bai home every night, acting as his emotional punching bag, absorbing all his negativity. Xiao Bai’s father, who didn’t have a driver’s license, had caused a fatal accident while driving in the countryside. After buying the apartment, Xiao Bai was broke, so Zhao Yuhang offered to help pay, but Xiao Bai refused. When Zhao Yuhang tried to help with the compensation, Xiao Bai blew up, saying it was his family’s problem to solve. So Xiao Bai ran around borrowing money to settle it privately.

Then Xiao Bai’s father brought some villagers to Beijing, claiming they’d help renovate the new apartment to save money.

Zhao Yuhang, being from a design institute, had connections and was willing to arrange professional renovations, even offering to pay.

But Xiao Bai refused again. Since he couldn’t afford it, he decided to just live in the unfinished apartment.

A week later, Xiao Bai’s father showed up with five or six villagers to “renovate” the place themselves. Under pressure from his family, Xiao Bai had no choice but to max out his credit cards buying materials and lighting.

Floor tiles, chandeliers—Zhao Yuhang drove him around in his BMW to shop for everything, turning his luxury car into a delivery truck for construction supplies. Knowing how hard things were for Xiao Bai, Zhao Yuhang never complained.

But Xiao Bai was at his wit’s end with his family. With no outlet for his frustration, he took it all out on Zhao Yuhang after work.

The villagers his father had brought weren’t professional renovators, and city apartments were nothing like rural houses. His father was just trying to freeload, not even providing proper meals or alcohol. The villagers half-assed the work, and when things went wrong, Xiao Bai couldn’t even yell at his father—his mother’s blood pressure would spike. So all the anger got dumped on Zhao Yuhang.

Renovations were exhausting enough, but this was a nightmare. The apartment ended up a mess, half-finished. The villagers eventually realized Xiao Bai’s father wasn’t paying them and had tricked them into free labor, so they abandoned the materials and left.

Xiao Bai gave up, deciding to just let it be. Zhao Yuhang suggested tearing up the half-laid tiles and throwing out the chandeliers to start over, but Xiao Bai snapped, telling him to stay out of it. In the end, Zhao Yuhang had a friend patch up the remaining work haphazardly and left it at that.

Once the apartment was “finished,” Xiao Bai’s mother started nagging about marriage again. She fought loudly at home, even hitting his brother. The old woman had high blood pressure, and Xiao Bai’s brother was stubborn and reckless, daring to throw things and fight back.

The constant fighting and his mother’s fainting spells pushed Xiao Bai to the brink of a breakdown. Zhao Yuhang was his only lifeline.

Yet Xiao Bai was too proud to ask Zhao Yuhang for financial help or show any vulnerability. Every time Zhao Yuhang offered money, Xiao Bai refused outright.

“I’m not exactly the sensitive type,” Zhao Yuhang admitted. “He never tells me what he’s thinking. You know? On the surface, he’s not effeminate, but inside, he’s not tough either. He gets mad but won’t say what I did wrong—just takes it out on me…”

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  P: Short for ‘Po,’ meaning ‘wife’. 小P: Little P
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  T: Short for ‘Tomboy’