Chapter 33

That night, after Lin Ze returned home, he didn’t do anything. Situ Ye went to bed first. Lin Ze waited for a while, asked Zheng Jie about his situation when he came back, chatted for a bit, and then went into the bedroom to sleep, sharing a blanket with Situ Ye. When he got under the covers, the electric blanket was on, making it very warm.

Situ Ye lay flat on his back. As Lin Ze lay down, their bare ankles, exposed under their pajama pants, brushed against each other, creating a quiet sense of comfort. Lin Ze knew Situ Ye was also very tired—he must not have slept last night either. All that talk about going to Chengdu at five in the morning was just a lie…

That night, Lin Ze slept very well, almost dreamlessly. When he woke up in the morning, he realized that at some point, he had ended up embracing Situ Ye in his sleep—their legs tangled together, arms wrapped around each other, noses touching, Situ Ye’s lips almost brushing against his. Lin Ze was resting his head on Situ Ye’s arm, one hand draped over his neck, holding him close.

Morning erections were natural. When Lin Ze opened his eyes, his heart felt like it was about to stop. His lower half was pressing against Situ Ye, and as he shifted slightly, he thought to himself that the most impulsive time for a man wasn’t after drinking or late at night, but in the morning.

He looked at Situ Ye in front of him—his lips were perfectly soft, his eyelashes long. Lin Ze couldn’t help but lean in and kiss him.

Situ Ye woke up immediately. He tried to turn over, but Lin Ze took the opportunity to press him down, pinning his hands to the headboard. Situ Ye opened his eyes, his fingers twitching slightly. Afraid of hurting his injured hand, Lin Ze quickly let go.

“Hey, time to get up,” Lin Ze whispered, looking into Situ Ye’s eyes.

Situ Ye’s eyes were beautiful—dark with a hint of brown. He wrapped his left arm around Lin Ze’s neck, fingers threading through his short hair, and tilted his head to kiss him. Their erections pressed against each other through the thin cotton pajama pants, and just that friction alone was enough to make Lin Ze feel like he was about to come.

“Do you want to go to work today?” Lin Ze asked, one hand resting on Situ Ye’s waist as he nuzzled against his nose.

Situ Ye also seemed a little out of control, his handsome face flushed. “What time is it?”

“It’s Sunday. We don’t have to go, but I have to be on duty. If you don’t want to, you can stay home and relax,” Lin Ze replied.

“I’ll go. I can drive today. Wait for me—I’ll bring the car back.”

Lin Ze let go of Situ Ye, and the two got up. Situ Ye went to brush his teeth, wash his face, change clothes, and head out. Lin Ze yawned as he left the room and knocked on Zheng Jie’s door.

Chaos erupted inside—rustling and scrambling sounds. Zheng Jie, halfway through putting on his clothes, rushed back in, then came out again holding a hot water bottle like a bag tucked under his left arm, his right hand fumbling at his left side as if adjusting an imaginary strap. He dashed to the door in slippers and flung it open, rushing out. Lin Ze collapsed onto the sofa, laughing.

Ten seconds later, Zheng Jie came back in and tossed the hot water bottle onto the sofa.

“Forgot… I quit my job,” he muttered, slumping onto Lin Ze.

Lin Ze kicked him lightly, pushing him away. “Any plans lately? Want me to help you look for a job?”

“Yeah. With your connections now, can you find me something?”

“Probably. I’ll give it a shot. Once I get in touch with someone, you can send in your resume first. I’ll put in a word, but it’s not a sure thing.”

“Do I need to give gifts?”

“Do you want to take the civil service exam?”

Zheng Jie waved his hand. “Nah, forget it.”

“If your resume passes, we’ll see about gifts then.”

Zheng Jie hummed in agreement, then asked, “What about you and Situ Ye?”

Lin Ze turned on the TV, eyes fixed on the morning news. “What about us? Just like this. He’ll move in, and we’ll live together. When are you going to look at apartments?”

Lin Ze really meant it. He knew some things couldn’t be rushed. Being with Situ Ye would require long-term mutual trust and effort. Grand promises were useless—they had to take things step by step, solving problems one at a time. Living together would gradually make things easier. As for whether Situ Ye’s family would come looking for him, that was a troublesome issue, but as long as they were careful, they could avoid it. If not, they could always call the police.

“In a few days, after I find a job. Rongrong will call me. Oh, right… It’s sunny today. Let’s air out the blankets.”

Lin Ze had no idea what phone calls had to do with airing blankets, but Zheng Jie hummed a tune as he went to hang the blankets out, eat breakfast, and energetically start his first day after quitting his job.

A text came from Situ Ye—the car was parked downstairs. Lin Ze went down, where the sunlight was overwhelming. Though it was bitterly cold, the sky was a piercing blue, and the sunlight poured down like something tangible.

Lin Ze got into the car. On the passenger seat was a breakfast of egg pancakes and a cup of Starbucks coffee. Situ Ye had bought himself soy milk and eggs. “You put two hundred yuan in my bag?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow’s Monday—payday. Let’s go see a movie tonight.”

The office was empty except for Lin Ze and Situ Ye. Situ Ye drank his soy milk and ate his eggs while Lin Ze sipped his coffee, lying on the sofa with his head on Situ Ye’s lap, scrolling through a travel forum on his iPad.

“Why the sudden interest in this?” Situ Ye asked.

“You like traveling. I’ll take you out more in the future. There are a lot of places I haven’t been to either.”

Lin Ze suddenly felt a little sad. He’d spent most of his life in the Sichuan-Chongqing area, and any trips out of the province had been rushed business trips.

“The way you travel—staying in nice places, eating well—it’s too expensive.”

Lin Ze smirked teasingly. “A’Ze needs to save money to support his wife.”

“You’re the wife.”

“We fought a battle, and you lost. So now I’m the husband, and you’re the wife. But the husband will let you be on top sometimes—if you want.”

Situ Ye looked awkward. Lin Ze reached up and pinched his cheek. “It’s fine. No pressure. Whenever you’re ready, we can do it.”

“I… I’ve never done it before… I don’t know how. I’ve never done it.”

Lin Ze knew that, given time, winning Situ Ye over was inevitable. But for some reason, he was enjoying this kind of love—just being together without any grand gestures.

Lin Ze rested his head on Situ Ye’s lap and pulled out his phone to check his contacts. Situ Ye’s slender fingers traced Lin Ze’s face, then poked playfully at his ear.

“Who are you looking for?”

Lin Ze was thinking about Zheng Jie’s situation, humming contentedly. “Finding a job for Zheng Jie.”

“Do you love me, A’Ze?”

“Of course. Call me ‘husband.’ I love you, Situ. Come here, give me a kiss.”

Situ Ye leaned down and pressed his lips to Lin Ze’s.

Lin Ze knew Situ Ye still didn’t quite believe him, but in that moment, as Situ Ye kissed him, he truly felt the emotions welling up in his heart.

“A’Ze, if I ever do something wrong, will you forgive me?”

Lin Ze’s heart skipped a beat. “Do you really have that disease?”

“No, I’m serious.”

Lin Ze knew Situ Ye still lacked security, so he said, “If there’s any trouble, tell me now. Lay it all out, and I’ll forgive you. We can start fresh from today. What is it? Did you sleep with Yang Zhiyuan?”

That was the worst thing Lin Ze could think of.

“Starting fresh… how?”

“Are you still leaving?”

“No. If you’re with me, I won’t leave.”

“We’ll earn money, buy a house. I want my own home too. After that, we’ll buy a car, save up, and travel the world together. How does that sound?”

“A’Ze, my family…”

“I know, Situ. If your family ever comes looking for you, you can’t hide behind me. You have to face it.”

Situ Ye froze, frowning. “Did Yang Zhiyuan tell you?”

Lin Ze hummed in affirmation and sat up. “I’ll support you. We’ll face it together. Don’t be afraid. I’ve already thought it through—worst case, we’ll just close the door and go traveling.”

“You’d really face it with me? What did he tell you?”

“Your family wants you to go back and get married, right?”

Situ Ye didn’t answer, just stared blankly at Lin Ze.

Lin Ze studied Situ Ye’s expression, and a sudden sense of foreboding washed over him.

“A’Ze, I… I’ll tell you, but you have to believe me. I never meant to deceive you. I’ve already… gotten married.”

Lin Ze: “…”

The two fell into a long silence. Lin Ze stared at Situ Ye, speechless.

“We can ignore my family. They probably won’t find us here…”

“Are you serious?”

Situ Ye struggled to keep his voice from shaking. “Don’t be angry, I…” He let out a long sigh and slumped against the sofa, exhausted. “I’ll go back and get a divorce, okay? A’Ze, but I might never be able to come back. Which do you want? You decide.”

“It’s not that simple. You’re already married?! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

“I—”

“You’ve been lying to me!”

“You promised you wouldn’t get mad! You promised you’d forgive me!”

“Don’t hold that over me! When did I ever say that?!”

“Just now… just now, you said it yourself. You said you loved me. Why are you turning on me now? I didn’t want this either… And… remember? Do you remember? After Xie Lei went to Guangzhou, I asked you once. You said if Xie Lei hadn’t hidden things from you, you’d have stayed with him forever. Why can’t I have that?!”

Lin Ze was stunned into silence, all his anger dissipating.

“If you’d known I was married, you wouldn’t have given me the time of day, right? So your love for me was fake all along! I wanted love too! Why is it that just because I was born gay, I had to be forced into marriage, with no choice but to marry a woman?!”

Lin Ze didn’t know what to say. Instead, he laughed bitterly. “So I’ve been turned into the other man… and now it’s my fault?! What kind of marriage is this?! Your family told you to marry, so you just did?!” The last sentence was practically a scream.

Situ Ye stiffened, trembling uncontrollably, and shouted back, “You think I wanted to get married?! You think I wanted to spend my life with someone I don’t love?! Do you even know if I tried to fight it?! You say you love me, but you only love yourself! You just wanted someone to keep you company, and now that’s fallen through! Everything you said was a lie! I get it now!”

Lin Ze kept telling himself to stay calm, but he couldn’t. His hands moved unconsciously before he finally bent over, pressing them lightly against the desk. After a moment of silence, his mind went blank. Finally, he said, “How… how long have you been married?”

“Since I left home. My wife’s family has been looking for me.”

Someone knocked on the office door. Situ Ye and Lin Ze fell silent.

“Boss,” a reporter’s voice called from outside.

“You,” Lin Ze said. “You…”

Situ Ye seemed to understand something and smiled. When Lin Ze looked up, his eyes were red, tears of pain welling in them. But Situ Ye’s smile remained as bright as ever.

“Forget it. I knew it would end like this. Let’s part on good terms, A’Ze. I’ll pay you back the money I owe you. Thank you for taking care of me.”

Situ Ye pushed the door open and left. The reporter watched him go. Lin Ze felt like all his strength had drained away as he collapsed into his swivel chair. He pinched the bridge of his nose. The reporter quietly entered and took his seat.

The office was dead silent. The reporter put on headphones and started chatting on QQ. Lin Ze turned to face the floor-to-ceiling window, watching the sunlight outside. It was so dazzling it felt unreal, flickering like a dream.

Lin Ze finally understood many things—Situ Ye’s rootless drifting, the scars on his wrist. He kicked the desk violently, sending a loud crash through the room and startling the reporter across from him. Files, USB drives, phone chargers, and the Starbucks cup Situ Ye had given him clattered to the floor.

The cup shattered with a heart-wrenching sound, breaking into several pieces.