Chapter 45

That night, Lin Ze walked through Bei Cheng Tian Street in a daze, glancing at his phone from time to time. The number’s registered location was Chongqing.

This meant Situ Ye had already returned. Why hadn’t he come back to him? Was it disappointment? Or was it because he didn’t know how to face each other?

Lin Ze, wearing slippers, found a place to sit in the commercial district. His cotton T-shirt was wrinkled, and he had on athletic shorts. When he looked up at the glass wall of Starbucks, his reflection showed a tired face, yet his eyes held a glimmer of joy. He tried calling again, but the phone was turned off.

Lin Ze sent a text:

[Why won’t you come back to me? Do you hate me that much? What did I do wrong? Tell me, and I’ll apologize, okay? Don’t punish me by torturing yourself. I love you, Situ.]

No matter what, as long as he was back, that was enough. Though Chongqing was big, it wasn’t that big. He would definitely find him. After thinking for a while, Lin Ze called Zheng Jie.

Zheng Jie: “What’s up, darling? Miss me?”

Lin Ze: “Where are you?”

Zheng Jie: “Bei Cheng Tian Street?”

Lin Ze: “You’re back in Jiangbei?”

Zheng Jie: “On a blind date. Wanna come? At Far East Department Store, Fisco Coffee. I’ll introduce you to a beauty.”

Lin Ze immediately got up and headed over. In the open-air corridor outside the café, he saw Zheng Jie sitting with a beautifully dressed girl.

Zheng Jie waved at him and whistled.

Lin Ze walked over, and Zheng Jie grinned. “My darling’s here.”

The girl turned around—it was Rongrong.

“A’Ze,” Rongrong greeted with a smile.

Her voice carried a long-lost gentleness that soothed Lin Ze’s heart. He hugged her without asking why she was here with Zheng Jie at this time and place. He just felt an overwhelming sense of it’s so good to see you.

Lin Ze: “It’s so good to see you.”

Rongrong smiled: “Me too.”

Zheng Jie, no longer as downcast as before, tossed Lin Ze a membership card. “Order whatever you want.”

Lin Ze bought a mocha and leaned back in his chair, exhausted but in good spirits. Rongrong and Zheng Jie watched him silently for a while before Zheng Jie finally asked, “Why the hell are you crying?”

Lin Ze shook his head. He had cried half an hour ago, and it showed.

Zheng Jie leaned over, and Lin Ze moved closer. The two hugged. Rongrong teased, “A’Ze, are you lonely living alone? Why don’t you move back in? Wouldn’t it be nice to live together? You could rent out the place and use the rent to cover the mortgage.”

Lin Ze quickly responded, “No, no, it’s… it’s complicated. I don’t even know where to start.”

He thought for a few seconds, then added, “Situ Ye is back.”

Rongrong gasped in delight, while Zheng Jie pouted jealously. “Yeah, I knew you weren’t missing me.”

Lin Ze burst out laughing and kicked him. Zheng Jie snatched his slipper away, and Lin Ze immediately protested, “Stop messing around!”

Rongrong asked, “Did he get divorced?”

Lin Ze had never hidden Situ Ye’s situation from her. As he wrestled his flip-flop back from Zheng Jie and slipped it on, he replied, “But I don’t know where he is now…”

Lin Ze recounted how he had met “Hong” and the phone call earlier that night. Zheng Jie and Rongrong listened quietly. Lin Ze continued, “His phone’s off now, and I can’t reach him. I don’t know where he is, but the number’s registered in Chongqing.”

Zheng Jie looked worried. “What if he’s disabled?”

Lin Ze: “Even if he’s disabled, I’ll take care of him. The problem is I don’t know where he is.”

Zheng Jie suggested, “Let’s ask someone for help. I’ll go with you tomorrow. I know a client whose wife works at the telecom company. She can help track the number’s location…”

Rongrong chuckled. “You’re still so impatient.”

Lin Ze’s heart skipped a beat. He knew Rongrong must have something to say, so he asked, “What do you think, Rongrong?”

Rongrong thought for a moment. “If it were me, I wouldn’t want the other person… to find me that way.” She glanced at Zheng Jie and added, “Of course, if they found me directly, I wouldn’t complain, but it just doesn’t feel… perfect? Girls and guys have different views on love. I don’t know if Ye-ge thinks the same way.”

Lin Ze’s hands trembled slightly around his coffee cup. “Then what should I do? I’m afraid he’ll run away again.”

Rongrong: “He won’t, right? A prodigal’s return is priceless—though that might not be the best way to put it… but, well…”

Lin Ze clung to her words like a lifeline. “So, according to you, should I keep an eye out and try to find him?”

Rongrong: “Deep down, he probably wants you to find him, doesn’t he?”

She looked questioningly at Zheng Jie, who cracked his knuckles and grinned. “Dunno~ You’re so smart. Help A’Ze think of something.”

Rongrong shot him a glare. Lin Ze said, “Let’s talk. Ignore him…”

Zheng Jie wore an expression that said You’re both ganging up on me. Rongrong leaned in and mused, “If he wants you to find him, subconsciously, he’ll probably leave some clues for you.”

Lin Ze understood instantly. Right. If Situ Ye truly wanted to be with him, he would unconsciously leave traces in his words and actions—because he wanted Lin Ze to find him, to come back.

“But why wouldn’t he just call me?” Lin Ze asked. “Before he left, I was already willing to be with him.”

Rongrong smiled. “Who knows? Maybe that’s just how he is. I think his personality is quite contradictory. I actually admire him—on one hand, he’s very proud, but on the other, he loves without being humble to the point of self-abasement, without dragging things out… It’s like, I love you, but it’s none of your business. Let me love you in my own way.”

Lin Ze nodded slowly, thinking, You two siblings are my saviors… He glanced at Zheng Jie, wondering how he and Rongrong had ended up meeting today without telling him.

Zheng Jie patted Lin Ze’s head. Lin Ze sat alone, sipping his coffee, his mind in turmoil, filled with thoughts of Situ Ye. But to Zheng Jie, Situ Ye’s situation wasn’t a big deal. In Zheng Jie’s mind, as long as he was back, they’d find him eventually. No rush.

Zheng Jie: “Take care of yourself when you’re abroad.”

Rongrong: “I know, don’t nag. Your ‘Tang Seng syndrome’ is acting up again.”

Zheng Jie: “You eat like a bird, can barely walk, and love spicy food. How are you gonna survive?”

Rongrong: “My mom’s mailing me chili peppers. I’ll cook for myself. No problem.”

Zheng Jie: “Have you packed yet? I’ll see you off in a few days.”

Rongrong: “Forget it. My mom can’t stand you. You’ll just end up arguing again. I don’t know if you two were enemies in a past life.”

Zheng Jie grinned. “My aunt adores you, but your mom hates me. That’s not fair.”

Rongrong huffed. “Who told you to be so ugly?”

Zheng Jie’s eyes bulged. “I’m ugly?! The hell! Look around Bei Cheng Tian Street—there are so many handsome guys, and you’ve got two of the hottest right here at your table! What more could you want, goddammit!”

Rongrong’s expression darkened. “Swearing again!”

Zheng Jie stuck out his tongue and shut up. Lin Ze couldn’t help but laugh. Rongrong said, “A’Ze is the handsome one, okay?”

Zheng Jie: “Bullsh—”

Lin Ze, who had been feeling melancholic, was now torn between laughter and tears because of these two.

Lin Ze: “You’re going abroad?”

Rongrong nodded, adjusting the watch on her wrist. “Next Tuesday.”

Lin Ze: “I’ll see you off.”

Rongrong: “No need. If you have time, just keep an eye on Big Dummy Jie for me.”

Lin Ze: “Keep an eye on him for what?”

Rongrong didn’t answer. Zheng Jie pouted. Lin Ze guessed it was to make sure he kept going on blind dates and casting a wide net—no wonder Zheng Jie wasn’t saying anything. To lighten the mood, Lin Ze pulled his chair closer to Rongrong and said, “Hey, Rongrong, let me tell you something.”

Rongrong: “?”

Lin Ze: “You know what he did a while back? He watched my private stash of GV at home…”

Zheng Jie immediately protested: “A’Ze! Don’t say it!”

Rongrong: “What’s GV?”

Lin Ze: “It’s porn for gay guys. Two men…”

Rongrong: “…”

Lin Ze: “He threw up after watching it… Hahahaha…”

Rongrong: “HAHAHAHA—”

Lin Ze: “It gave him goosebumps all over…”

Zheng Jie turned red, torn between wanting to hit Lin Ze and holding back. Rongrong collapsed onto the table, laughing hysterically. Lin Ze suddenly noticed the platinum ring still on Rongrong’s ring finger—she hadn’t taken it off! It was the same ring Lin Ze had helped Zheng Jie buy!

Lin Ze understood now.

Lin Ze: “After you broke up, he couldn’t bring himself to be with anyone else. He said it several times—he’ll only ever love you in this lifetime. He’d rather grow old with me than marry another girl. You were his first love, and…”

Zheng Jie, looking miserable, got up and moved to another seat.

Rongrong pursed her lips, tears glistening in her eyes.

Lin Ze: “…and the only one he’s ever loved. Who else in the world would accept him when he was hundreds of thousands in debt, jobless, penniless, with no car or house? Come back after studying abroad. Look, I’m entrusting my best brother to you.”

Rongrong nodded, tears in her eyes, and let out a long sigh.

Zheng Jie sat with his back to them, gazing despondently at the night view. The city lights had just come on, turning the entire place into a dazzling dream.

After a long silence, Rongrong stood up and kicked Zheng Jie’s chair. Zheng Jie looked up slightly, and Lin Ze saw that he was crying.

Zheng Jie grabbed his suit jacket, took Rongrong’s handbag, and stood. “I’ll walk you home.”

Rongrong: “A’Ze, I’m leaving. No need to see me off. Bye.”

Lin Ze smiled. “Bye. Let’s hang out when you’re back on break.”

Zheng Jie took Rongrong’s hand and walked into the brightly lit Bei Cheng Tian Street.

Lin Ze remained at the table, turning on speakerphone as he dialed Situ Ye’s number again. Still off.

Talking to Rongrong had lifted his spirits, but he couldn’t stop worrying. What if Situ Ye did something drastic? What was he doing now? Crying in his rented room? Reading? Would he sleep tonight? Why was he always so stubborn? Lin Ze had the sudden urge to beat him up, then hug and kiss him.

The more he thought, the more his heart ached. But suicide? Probably not… Situ was just sensitive, not the type to do that. He didn’t even kill himself when he went back to get divorced… Wait, the divorce. Had it gone through? Probably not, but as long as he was back, that was enough. This time, no matter what, Lin Ze wouldn’t yell at him.

He’d do anything to make it up to him—be the perfect partner, even if it meant no sex. Just living together would be enough. Why did Situ always see things in black and white? What was going through his head?

His thoughts swirled chaotically, threatening to overwhelm him. He kept dialing the number, wanting to throw his phone, to scream under the night sky.

Zheng Jie returned, eyeing him.

“Did you feed the dog?” Zheng Jie asked.

Lin Ze: “Yeah.”

Zheng Jie: “Come sleep at my place. We’ll chat. Bring the dog.”

Lin Ze sighed and got up to go home with Zheng Jie. Tomorrow was the weekend—thank goodness! He desperately needed to sort things out. He went home to fetch the dog, and Zheng Jie curiously peeked into the new tenant’s room, which was a mess, with underwear strewn across the bed. Lin Ze dragged him out by the collar.

Zheng Jie: “What does that guy do?”

Lin Ze shrugged. “Quit his job. No idea where he goes at night. Probably gay bars.”

Zheng Jie held the dog’s leash as they took a cab to his place in Nanping. The moment Lin Ze entered, he flopped onto the sofa like a zombie and let out a long, loud groan.

Zheng Jie: “You crazy?”

Lin Ze laughed, then flattened a cardboard box on the balcony as a temporary bed for the Alaskan. For some reason, being in Zheng Jie’s apartment made him feel like this was his real home.

Zheng Jie poured two glasses of iced apple juice. Lin Ze took a sip and said, “Where’s the alcohol? Something stronger.”

Lin Ze arranged the cushions while Zheng Jie took down a bottle of Hennessy from the shelf, turned off the main light, and switched on a small lamp. The soft glow bathed the corner of the living room, where five or six cushions were piled up, along with a sofa so deep you could sink into it like a haystack.

The air conditioning was perfect. Soft music played from the CD player. Zheng Jie and Lin Ze each held a glass of Hennessy on ice, nestled in the sofa from opposite directions, their heads touching. It was incredibly cozy.

Lin Ze sighed, wondering where Situ Ye was now… His place must be shabby.

Zheng Jie: “What’re you gonna do?”

Lin Ze: “Dunno. You first—what did Rongrong say today? Are you two still in touch?”

Zheng Jie hummed. “We’ve been talking occasionally. Yesterday, she said she couldn’t take it anymore—she can’t lose me. She’ll study abroad for two years, then marry me no matter what her family says when she comes back. I told her we could ‘get on the bus first and buy the ticket later’—have a kid first, I’d raise it, and she could study in peace… She reamed me out.”

Lin Ze nearly choked on his drink laughing. He patted Zheng Jie’s head, thinking he was as clueless as ever.

“Did she ask you to wait for her?” Lin Ze asked with a teasing lilt.

“Mhm.” Zheng Jie took a sip, watching the Alaskan poke its head out of the box, lost in thought.

Lin Ze: “Will she come back on time?”

Zheng Jie: “Who knows?”

Lin Ze: “Are you willing to wait?”

Zheng Jie: “Yeah.”

Lin Ze nodded. Zheng Jie held out his glass to let the Alaskan sniff the alcohol. Lin Ze tried to stop him, but the dog bolted the second it caught a whiff.

Zheng Jie: “What about you?”

Lin Ze: “I don’t know… I’m going crazy. How do I find him? If his phone stays off, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack…”

Zheng Jie: “Any clues? Don’t panic—think first. Did he say what job he’s doing? Where he’s renting?”

Lin Ze: “Sales.”

Zheng Jie: “Sales covers a lot. Could be a small shop or real estate.”

Lin Ze recalled the first time he met Situ Ye—he’d been selling coffee at Starbucks. “Probably a shop assistant. Just don’t know which store.”

Zheng Jie: “Is he disabled?”

Lin Ze didn’t answer, his heart aching. This is so messed up. I never should’ve let him go back. Zheng Jie thought for a moment. “Well, if he’s sick or can’t move well, we’ll make it up to him later.”

Lin Ze: “First, we have to find him. No use thinking about that now. If he’s disabled, then… never mind. Where would he be working?”

Zheng Jie: “Any other clues?”

Lin Ze: “His salary’s low—only 1,600.”

Zheng Jie: “That fits. Probably a small shop.”

Lin Ze nodded, remembering something. “He doesn’t have much entertainment. Rarely goes online. Mostly reads—pirated books. Might live near an overpass or underground tunnel, or a night market with book stalls.”

Zheng Jie: “I think he might be in Shapingba.”

Shapingba fit the description, but so did other places like Shiqiaopu, parts of Nanping, or even Yuzhong District. Still, Shapingba was the most likely.

Lin Ze: “He also plays the ocarina. He never mentioned knowing how before—probably just learned. He’s not very good… Wait, Zheng Jie—”

A strong intuition hit him: Ciqikou.

Ciqikou was an ancient town in Chongqing, right by the Jialing River. The town sold xun (a Chinese flute), ocarinas, and souvenirs, popular with tourists. Back when Lin Ze was in college, locals loved going to Ciqikou to drink tea and play mahjong on the boats by the river.

In recent years, tourism had boomed, and the place was packed on holidays. Situ Ye had said weekends were exhausting—he was probably there!

More likely… his new job was at an ocarina shop!

“I’ll go to Ciqikou tomorrow,” Lin Ze said.

“I’ve got work,” Zheng Jie said regretfully.

Lin Ze: “I’ll go alone.”

Zheng Jie clinked his glass against Lin Ze’s with a soft ding.

Zheng Jie: “Good luck. Go get him, A’Ze.”