Chapter 46

The next morning, Lin Ze slept until almost noon before waking up. Zheng Jie had already left, leaving cold breakfast on the table.

Last night, Lin Ze had slept on the floor outside, hugging that huge, moldable soft sofa, sleeping with his butt sticking up all night. When he woke up, his whole body ached. The night before, he and Zheng Jie had finished an entire bottle of Hennessy XO, and the empty bottle was still lying nearby.

Waking up with a hangover, his head was dizzy, his vision blurry, and his mind buzzing with a splitting headache.

Lin Ze hastily ate the cold breakfast and called Situ Ye’s phone—still turned off.

Lin Ze made a few calls to arrange work matters, and then another call came in. It was Xu Hui, inviting him to dinner that evening and saying he’d introduce him to a few friends so he wouldn’t stay cooped up at home. How could Lin Ze possibly be in the mood to eat today? He had to reschedule for another time.

Xu Hui said over the phone, “Don’t stay at home all the time. Come out and meet some new friends.”

Lin Ze: “I’m not a homebody… I’m a journalist. How could I be a homebody? Thanks. When I’m free, I’ll bring my friend along, and we can all eat together.”

Xu Hui: “Alright. You’re not at home? I saw the gas bill posted on your door today.”

Lin Ze: “I might be staying at my childhood friend’s place on weekends. I won’t be back for now. If you have time, go ahead and pay it. I’ll give you the money when I get back.”

Xu Hui hung up. Lin Ze changed clothes and went out. It was scorching outside, and stepping out of the air-conditioned room in the afternoon, the heat hit him like a wave. His stomach churned violently, worsened by the cold breakfast, and he felt so awful he threw up.

Carrying a document bag, he stood by a trash can outside the subway station, vomiting. After wiping his mouth, he bought a bottle of mineral water to rinse his mouth. Standing under the blazing sun, his sharp eyebrows furrowed tightly, and he squinted his eyes, thinking for a moment before heading to the light rail.

After transferring on the light rail, he arrived at Ciqikou. It was unbelievable how many people were out in this heat. Drenched in sweat, Lin Ze’s T-shirt was soaked through, showing a large wet patch on his back. He went into every ocarina shop to look—no Situ Ye.

He called several times, but the phone remained off.

The place was packed with people. Lin Ze searched shop by shop, scanning the many folk-craft stores—Situ Ye might not necessarily be selling ocarinas. Maybe he was dressed in old-fashioned waiter’s clothes, wiping tables in a teahouse? Or helping out in a handicraft shop? Maybe he’d come out to wander after sunset when the crowds thinned, buy an ocarina, and sit by the river under the fiery sunset, playing for a while.

His stomach was empty, his head dizzy, and he kept sweating. Lin Ze had no appetite at all. He walked up and down the streets and shops, drinking water constantly. He spent the entire afternoon searching from the ancient town’s entrance to the riverside but saw no sign of Situ Ye.

Lin Ze opened his phone again, looking at the photos he had taken of Situ Ye before.

Back then, Situ Ye’s hand was in a cast. Lin Ze had set up the camera tripod for him as Situ Ye stood by the river, photographing the azure sky and a new riverside property development across the water. The client had greatly admired Situ Ye’s work and specifically requested him to shoot a series of photos. The property’s name was also quite poetic: “Spring Forest on the Other Shore.”

While Situ Ye was fully absorbed in framing and taking photos, Lin Ze had fallen for him right then, using his phone to capture that focused expression. It was early spring, the river stretching endlessly, the breeze blowing. Situ Ye leaned in toward the camera, a slight smile on his lips, his profile impossibly handsome.

At the time, Lin Ze had joked that once he had money, he’d buy a place in that development—Spring Forest on the Other Shore, Bei Cheng Tian Street, Scenic Waters… The developer was too good at marketing. He told Situ Ye to hurry up and earn more money for him and even suggested Situ Ye audition to be an actor—maybe he’d become a top-tier heartthrob… Situ Ye had just smiled and nodded, saying he’d pay Lin Ze back first.

“Have you seen this person?” Lin Ze asked softly.

The shop assistant glanced at his phone and shook her head. Lin Ze took his phone to the shop across the street. He knew his face must look terrible—flushed and weak from the heat—but he couldn’t bring himself to eat anything. After asking along half the street, he ate a bowl of turtle jelly by the roadside, then steeled himself to keep going.

“Have you seen this person?”

“Have you seen him?”

“Hello, have you seen this guy?”

Lin Ze asked shop by shop. By 4 p.m., he was both exhausted and overheated. Maybe he was looking in the wrong direction. Asking around like this made him feel like a creep. He hadn’t even brought his press pass. Standing in the middle of the bustling street for a moment, Zheng Jie called: “Any luck?”

Lin Ze: “Haven’t found him.”

Zheng Jie: “Come back, man. We’ll look slowly. No rush.”

Lin Ze decided to head back. He felt like he might be getting heatstroke—his head was spinning. He forced himself to buy another bottle of water and rested in the shade for a bit, gathering his strength before resuming his search.

Finally, he got a lead at an ocarina shop.

“Isn’t this Xiao Ye? Wow, he was so handsome when he was younger,” the girl at the cash register said.

Lin Ze: “…”

Lin Ze: “Does he work here?”

The girl: “Yeah, do you know him?”

Lin Ze: “He—”

Lin Ze’s heart nearly leaped out of his chest. He took a deep breath, his vision darkening at the edges. Suddenly, he felt unsteady on his feet—he knew he was getting heatstroke.

Lin Ze sat down on a nearby chair, his heart racing, drenched in sweat. The girl asked, “Is he your friend?”

Lin Ze drank some more water, knowing that the more urgent the situation, the calmer he needed to be. After a moment of thought, the first question that came out was:

“Is he not doing well health-wise?” Lin Ze said. “I heard he’s been a bit sick recently.”

“No?” The girl thought for a moment. “He is pretty thin, though. Doesn’t eat much. What’s wrong? He doesn’t eat pork, so I make separate meals for him.”

Lin Ze sighed in relief. “No broken bones, no… I mean, nothing else? No disabilities?”

The girl looked torn between laughter and tears. “What happened? What’s your relationship with him?”

“Uh…” Lin Ze thought for a moment, a huge weight lifting from his heart as his spirits lifted.

“I’m his cousin,” Lin Ze said. “The family sent me to find him.”

The girl nodded. Lin Ze asked, “Why isn’t he at work today?”

The girl: “He’s on his day off. Just call him.”

Lin Ze: “His phone’s off. Where does he live? Can you take me there?”

The girl: “I don’t know where he lives. Probably behind Ciqikou? He always walks that way after work.”

Lin Ze: “Do any other coworkers know where he lives?”

The girl: “No, no one’s that close to him. He’s only been working here a month.”

Lin Ze: “How many days is his day off?”

The girl smiled. “He’ll be back tomorrow. He really was so handsome when he was younger.”

Lin Ze: “Is he old now? This photo’s from March.”

The girl: “…”

She took the phone and looked more carefully. “Actually… he hasn’t changed much.”

Lin Ze put his phone away. Now that he knew Situ Ye worked here, things were easier.

He left Ciqikou, his mind blank as he walked slowly along the road. Half of the ancient town was built on a hillside, nestled against the river. The front was the commercial district, while the back was an old residential area with bomb shelters from the wartime provisional capital era. Once he entered the residential zone, the noise of the commercial street faded into the distance, leaving an almost eerie quiet.

In the midsummer afternoon, many old houses had “For Rent” signs posted outside. Many buildings in Ciqikou were cultural heritage sites where air conditioning wasn’t allowed, for fear of overloading the circuits and causing fires. If a fire broke out, it could spread rapidly. Rent here was cheap—just 400 yuan a month for a single room.

The Shapingba District still had many such old neighborhoods, quietly tucked away in the corners of the modern era, as if isolated from the world, still bearing the marks of the provisional capital period.

This was a corner of Mountain City entirely different from places like Bei Cheng Tian Street or the Liangjiang New Area. A few elderly people played mahjong in a secluded spot.

Here, time seemed to have gently paused its steps.

Someone walked by carrying a wooden box and a stool, offering foot care and ear cleaning. Others tapped iron blocks rhythmically, selling malt candy, or carried shoulder poles with bowls of cold noodles and jelly…

Lin Ze found a stone table and sat under the shade of a tree, resting his head on his arms as he thought. A cool breeze blew around him.

This time, he would definitely find Situ Ye—no way he could escape. Maybe he even lived here. Lin Ze rested his head on his arms, glancing at the empty road.

Should he wait here in Ciqikou until the ocarina shop opened tomorrow and Situ Ye came to work? Or should he go back first?

Lin Ze didn’t feel like moving. There was nothing to do back home anyway, so he stayed slumped over the stone table. What should he say when he saw Situ Ye again? He had so much he wanted to say, but when the moment of reunion came, he couldn’t find the words.

What should he say?

“Situ, come home with me”?

“You’re finally back, it’s good that you’re okay…”?

Nothing felt right. Would Situ Ye even be willing to go back with him? Had he gotten divorced? Had everything been resolved? What had he suffered at home? Was he avoiding Lin Ze because he was angry with him?

Lin Ze checked his watch—sixteen more hours until 8 a.m. tomorrow. He lay on the table, his chest tight, irritable, and hot, and before he knew it, he fell asleep.

His phone rang, startling Lin Ze awake. He answered—it was Xu Hui.

Xu Hui: “Your friend came looking for you, Lin Ze.”

Lin Ze immediately said, “Don’t let him leave! Make him wait at home! I’m coming back now!”

Xu Hui: “Wait! Hey! He seems to have misunderstood… Talk to him, hold on! Lin Ze wants to talk to you!”

Lin Ze gripped the phone, shouting, “Don’t let him leave! Hold him back, don’t let him go!”

A ding sounded—the elevator door closing. Lin Ze felt as if he’d been struck by lightning, his voice trembling. “Did he leave?”

Xu Hui: “I explained… I told him I just moved in. Was that your boyfriend?”

Lin Ze thought, thank goodness Xu Hui hadn’t played any pranks. “Can you go downstairs and check now…? Thanks.”

The sound of a door closing came through the phone as Xu Hui went downstairs. After nearly five minutes, Xu Hui reported, “He’s already gone.”

“Did he say where he was going?” Lin Ze asked.

“No. I asked his name, but he didn’t say,” Xu Hui replied.

Lin Ze nodded and hung up, sitting blankly on the stone bench. Damn it. Who would’ve thought Situ Ye would go looking for him?

He’d probably come back. Lin Ze decided to wait here.

Time passed minute by minute. Night fell, and Lin Ze, feeling weak, bought some food—two skewers of grilled squid and a bowl of sour and spicy noodles—and sat by the river waiting for Situ Ye. Zheng Jie called again to ask if he’d found him. Lin Ze assured him he knew where he was and was waiting for him to come home.

But by 10 p.m., Situ Ye still hadn’t returned. Lin Ze even began to doubt whether he lived here at all. At 2 a.m., a patrol officer approached. Lin Ze showed his ID, saying he was just sitting here. The officer assumed he was heartbroken and told him to go home. Lin Ze had no choice but to leave.

Passing through the main street, Lin Ze sat outside the ocarina shop. The ancient town at night was empty, like a ghost town, all lights extinguished. Luckily, he’d bought two packs of cigarettes. Stubbornly, he sat down, tore open a pack, leaned against the wooden door of the ocarina shop, and stared blankly into the lonely night.

Situ Ye would probably come to work tomorrow. Would he misunderstand Xu Hui? Probably not… Xu Hui had already told him he was a tenant. That night, Lin Ze had been alone at home too. Situ Ye should understand.

The patrol officer came by again, asking why he wasn’t going home. Lin Ze, in a foul mood, didn’t answer.

The officer sat beside him, sharing the silence. Lin Ze handed him a cigarette. “I’m waiting for my wife.”

The officer nodded, smoked with him, then left.

The mosquitoes were relentless, covering Lin Ze’s arms in bites. After sunset, Lin Ze had barely drunk any water, and now his chest felt uncomfortably tight. When the shops opened in the morning, he’d need to buy some Huoxiang Zhengqi Shui¹A traditional Chinese medicine for heatstroke.

One cigarette took about six minutes to smoke… Lin Ze estimated the time based on how many were left in the pack, trying to ration them. In the early hours, around 4:30 a.m., he fell asleep.

He woke at 6 a.m. to the sound of street sweepers brushing the roads. Lin Ze remained sitting blankly as the ancient town slowly came to life, shopkeepers opening their doors one by one, passersby giving him odd looks.

Who would open the ocarina shop first? The owner? The owner’s daughter?

Footsteps approached. Lin Ze looked up and saw Situ Ye.

“How did you get so thin?!”

Lin Ze never imagined those would be his first words.

Situ Ye held keys in his fingers, a single-strap bag over his shoulder. He was emaciated, almost unrecognizable—a sickly thinness, with sunken eye sockets and cheeks.

The moment he saw Lin Ze, his eyes reddened instantly.

“I had a stomach hemorrhage,” Situ Ye said.

Lin Ze stood. “Did you come looking for me yesterday?”

“Yeah. How did you find me?” Situ Ye asked.

“I guessed. I searched all day yesterday, asking around. I thought you might’ve learned to play the ocarina and could be working in a shop that sells them…” Lin Ze replied.

Situ Ye bent to unlock the door.

“Can you forgive me?” Lin Ze asked.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. What’s there to forgive?” Situ Ye said.

Lin Ze couldn’t hold back. He reached out from the side and hugged Situ Ye, who stopped moving, turned around, and embraced Lin Ze, burying his face in his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you look for me when you came back?” Lin Ze asked.

Situ Ye pulled away, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I didn’t want to. You don’t like me.”

“I do. How could I not? Where did I ever say I didn’t?” Lin Ze asked.

Situ Ye didn’t answer. He removed the lock and pulled open one side of the folding wooden door. Lin Ze helped push open the other side, and together they opened the shop, revealing a dim interior.

“I’ll go buy some food. Watch the shop for a bit,” Situ Ye said.

“Go ahead,” Lin Ze replied.

Lin Ze sat alone in the shop, picking up an ocarina and testing it, blowing a few notes. It felt surreal, like a dream. He had imagined reuniting with Situ Ye countless times but never pictured it like this.

Situ Ye returned with soy milk and steamed buns, sharing them with Lin Ze. They sat facing each other, eating breakfast. No tourists had arrived yet, and it was already getting hot. Situ Ye turned on a fan. His neck was covered in heat rash, his whole appearance haggard and gaunt, as if he’d been reshaped. In just a few months, he had changed so much. Lin Ze’s heart ached at the sight, his brows furrowing. “How did you get so thin?”

“Life at home wasn’t good,” Situ Ye muttered.

Lin Ze didn’t dare ask further, afraid of bringing up the divorce and upsetting Situ Ye again. After a moment, he said, “Don’t leave again. Even if you’re not divorced, it’s fine. Let’s be together. After you left, I couldn’t even live properly…”

Situ Ye countered, “Weren’t you in love with Zheng Jie?”

Lin Ze: “That was never true. Didn’t I make that clear? Were you jealous of Zheng Jie? He’s about to marry Rongrong.”

Situ Ye frowned. “Don’t twist my words. I’m asking about your feelings for Zheng Jie, not whether he likes you. You’ve always been sly, but I’m not falling for it this time.”

Lin Ze smiled.

“Did reading all those books not change your mind?” Lin Ze suddenly asked.

Situ Ye: “I only started reading them recently.”

Lin Ze: “You lied to me about being disabled. You scared me half to death…”

Situ Ye: “I am disabled—spiritually. I’m a man without faith now.”

Lin Ze: “Let me be your faith.”

Situ Ye: “There you go again. I’m immune to your sweet talk now.”

Lin Ze didn’t argue, just leaned tiredly against Situ Ye. He had lost so much weight—when Lin Ze reached under his shirt, he could feel his ribs, sharp like a sick person’s.

Situ Ye didn’t push him away. They sat quietly like that. Lin Ze’s chest grew increasingly tight. He closed his eyes, dozing on Situ Ye’s shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around his waist as if afraid he’d disappear. After a while, his stomach ached, and he got up to vomit violently into a roadside trash can.

Situ Ye was startled, rushing out. “What’s wrong?”

Lin Ze, weak after vomiting, murmured, “I’m pregnant.”

Situ Ye: “…”

Lin Ze grinned brightly, swaying against Situ Ye like a drunk, clinging to him as Situ Ye dragged him back inside.

Situ Ye felt Lin Ze’s forehead. “You look terrible. Are you sick?”

“A bit of heatstroke…” Lin Ze muttered. “I’ll go buy some water…”

Lin Ze tried to stand, but Situ Ye made him sit and went out to buy water, returning with two bottles of Huoxiang Zhengqi Shui. He made Lin Ze drink it, the liquid burning his throat like fire as it rushed up from his stomach. Lin Ze held Situ Ye’s hand tightly, refusing to let go.

“Hey, I love you,” Lin Ze whispered.

“Stop being mushy,” Situ Ye replied. “The owner’s daughter is coming soon…”

At 9 a.m., Lin Ze sat in the shop as the owner’s daughter arrived to open the cash register. Two other employees glanced at him. “Your cousin?”

“My younger cousin,” Situ Ye replied casually.

The girl smiled. “Here to visit you?”

Situ Ye didn’t answer. Lin Ze grinned. “I’m here to take him home.”

Situ Ye: “I never said I was going back.”

Lin Ze thought for a moment, took out his wallet, and asked, “Miss, do you take cards here?”

The girl: “Of course. I’ll give you a 20% discount. Pick whatever you like.”

Lin Ze pulled out a gold card.

“I’ll take every ocarina in this shop! Situ Ye! Come home with me!”

The girl: “…”

Situ Ye: “…”

Situ Ye: “Don’t listen to his nonsense…”

Lin Ze: “This card has my life savings. If you don’t mind, please accept it. Or should I just buy out your shop and sell ocarinas with Situ Ye? Name your price—is a million enough?”

The girl: “The transfer fee for a storefront like this is already a million.”

Lin Ze smiled. “No problem—I’ll throw in another 200,000 for inventory—”

Situ Ye glared at Lin Ze, snatching the card away, his face dark.

Situ Ye: “Talking to Xiao Cong won’t help. The shop belongs to her dad.”

The girl, realizing Lin Ze was joking, gave Situ Ye an amused look.

Lin Ze: “Then come home with me. Look how hard I searched for you—I even got heatstroke.”

Situ Ye finally relented. “I’ll go back with you after work.”

The girl laughed, glancing between Lin Ze and Situ Ye. Situ Ye seemed to want to say something but held back.

Lin Ze fell asleep by the fan, his slightly grown-out hair tousled by the breeze, his sleeping face childlike. Soon, he was startled awake by music from the speakers.

The ocarina’s melody was long and distant. Customers entered the shop as the three employees played their ocarinas in harmony with the music.

Situ Ye stepped outside, standing at the entrance under the vast blue sky and drifting white clouds, the scorching summer sun shining down on his head. Lin Ze lay sideways on the chair, half-asleep as the music shifted to “Canon,” then “Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind,” and finally “Russian Rhapsody”…

At noon, Lin Ze’s phone vibrated. Situ Ye glanced back, and Lin Ze, knowing it was from him, checked the message.

Hong: [You know I can’t live without you, always using my love for you to threaten me. Dreamcloud Marsh, you’re a bad kid.]

Lin Ze: [I’m sorry, wifey. Play me a song.]

Situ Ye, holding an ocarina between his lips, came back inside and turned down the music. He glanced at Lin Ze, sat beside him, and began playing “Castle in the Sky.”

The melody filled the shop. The employees, used to playing ocarinas to attract customers, instantly joined in, inhaling and exhaling in perfect sync. Even Xiao Cong at the cash register picked up an ocarina and played along.

Lin Ze slept a little longer, feeling better. He picked up an ocarina, watching Situ Ye play curiously. There was something magical about the music itself, like a spell.

After the song ended, Situ Ye remarked, “Still a bit rough.”

Xiao Cong asked, “Take your cousin to eat first?”

She handed him a lunchbox from a shopping bag. The shop’s music was too loud, giving Lin Ze a slight headache. “Want to eat outside?”

Situ Ye nodded, leading Lin Ze out. Lin Ze suggested, “The riverside is nice. Let’s sit there. I saw a good spot. Where do you live?”

“Just behind here.”

“You promised to come back with me. No take-backs.”

Situ Ye looked at Lin Ze with an expression of deep suffering. Lin Ze found it amusing. He knew Situ Ye loved him, knew the turmoil in his heart—otherwise, he wouldn’t have gone to his home.

They bought two bottles of water and sat by the stone table. Situ Ye went to buy food, returning to find Lin Ze eating his lunch—a simple fried rice. Lin Ze took a few bites, then tried to feed Situ Ye, who snapped, “Get lost, I’ll do it myself.”

Lin Ze just smiled. Situ Ye had bought a light seafood rice noodle soup. Lin Ze ate a little before losing his appetite, more interested in Situ Ye’s fried rice.

Situ Ye casually fed him a bite. Chewing, Lin Ze asked, “What happened to you?”

Looking downcast, Situ Ye replied, “What do you mean?”

“You’ve lost so much weight. It hurts to see.”

“Couldn’t eat. Told you, my stomach’s bad.”

“How did you get out? What about your wife? Divorced?”

“After going back, I wanted a divorce. My family wouldn’t let me. Got beaten again. I couldn’t take it, tried to run away. Fell from the third floor while escaping, hurt my leg.”

“…”

“Where?” Lin Ze bent to check Situ Ye’s leg.

“My ankle. Not too bad. It’s healed now.”

“What then?”

“I was bedridden for a month. Then she… divorced me.”

Lin Ze nodded.

“No divorce certificate, so I can’t prove—”

“It’s fine. Even if you had four wives, I’d still love you. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll fight your wives to the death!”

“…”

They fell silent for a moment.

“You still don’t believe me.”

Torn between laughter and tears, Lin Ze said, “That’s not what I meant… You… sigh.”

Situ Ye didn’t reply. Lin Ze stood, pressed his shoulders, and kissed him deeply, his tongue assertive. Situ Ye’s breathing quickened. When they parted, they locked eyes.

“I’ll play you a song.”

“You’ve learned so many? Teach me.”

Situ Ye took out another ocarina—a matching pair with his own, forming a red-and-blue heart when put together.

“You bought this for me?”

“Mm.” Situ Ye brought the ocarina to his lips and gestured for Lin Ze to watch his fingering. His fingers were long and elegant, the ring Lin Ze had given him on his left ring finger adding to their beauty as they moved over the holes.

• 1
  A traditional Chinese medicine for heatstroke