BCRD 1

I wish I were dead.

I wish someone would just kill me.

It was a thought that crossed my mind at least once a day. To be precise, it was a thought that came up every time that human called hyung used me as a punching bag. That was the situation now. I wished he were dead. Hyung. My only family. The last blood relative I had in this world.

This monster.

Thud, thud, thud…

Dull noises erupted in succession. The intensity and intervals were irregular. Each time hyung’s foot made contact with my body, a pain that shook my entire being surged up.

“Ugh…”

I got beaten up almost every day. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but this damned body never tired of complaining about the pain. It hurt every time I was hit. The pain was agonizing. The only silver lining was that I could swallow my screams and pleas. In the past, I couldn’t hold back and would let them out. I’d scream, beg for it to stop, cry while apologizing, and groan while pleading for my life. But not anymore. Part of it was realizing that such outbursts were futile, but the bigger reason was that the constant abuse had worn me down, stripping away all will to resist. The best I could do was let my body go limp and quietly endure until it was over.

Thud, thud!

“Fuck! You bastard! You shitty, fucking bastard! You told me to do it, didn’t you!”

There was a reason behind hyung’s sudden outburst, or so it seemed. I didn’t know the full details, but from what I overheard, it had something to do with money and some dangerous job that had gone wrong. So, the shitty bastard he was cursing wasn’t me but someone else. Probably the person who paid him to do the job.

In any case, I wasn’t the cause of his outburst. Yet, I was the one getting beaten, and that was the problem. Was it unfair? Well. Hyung was the kind of person who’d blame me even for tripping on the street and take it out on me. Not long ago, he swung a baseball bat at me, calling me a bitch because his girlfriend dumped him. This kind of thing happened all the time. I’d been through it so much that I didn’t even feel wronged anymore.

“Hey, you fuck! You skinny-ass bastard, giving me a measly amount of money! Why the hell am I the one taking the blame! Fuck! Ugh!”

It had been a week since he started acting out like this. Yesterday, the tenant from the floor below came up to complain, begging us to live quietly, because hyung’s outbursts were so disruptive.

Punches, kicks, curses. As if to prove how angry he was, the intensity only grew worse. And so, today, I realized once again what I was to hyung. Not a brother, not even a person, just a convenient punching bag. Yeah, that’s all I was to him.

“Die! You die, you bastard. You’re the one who should get beaten by those gangster bastards and die!”

Hyung unleashed all the insults and violence on me that he wouldn’t dare direct at the person who actually wronged him. Cowering before those stronger than him, but taking it out on someone weak like me… The phrase “strong against the weak, weak against the strong” must have been coined for situations like this.

Pathetic bastard.

Unspoken curses swirled in my tightly shut mouth.

That’s when it happened.

Thud!

“Agh!”

The force of the kicks, which had been consistent until now, suddenly intensified. If the earlier blows felt like a tough whip lashing my skin, this one felt like an iron spike piercing my insides.

“Argh…”

Curling up my neglected body, I clutched my stomach where the blow had landed. Was it because of the scream I couldn’t hold back? The relentless assault finally stopped. Instead, spit! A thick wad of saliva landed on my head.

“Ugh, you pathetic bastard. Whining already after a few hits.”

It wasn’t just a few hits—it was dozens. My head was spinning, and the taste of blood in my mouth suggested my lip was split. Yet, he called it whining. That’s how little he thought of the pain consuming me.

Thankfully, the beating didn’t continue. Whether his anger had subsided or he’d simply lost interest, hyung turned his attention away from me and started looking around for something. He walked to the desk, grabbed a pack of cigarettes, and tapped the pack against his palm.

“Shit, out of these too.”

I bought some yesterday, and they’re already gone?

…Not surprising. It was typical of a chain-smoker like him.

The walls of our house, once white, had turned yellow, and no matter how much we ventilated, a stale smell lingered—all hyung’s doing. Because of it, I once got stern looks from my homeroom teacher. The smell had seeped into my school uniform, and they thought I was smoking. The misunderstanding was cleared up, but the teacher still frowned whenever they saw me. Probably because of the smell.

“Hey, go buy some.”

Thud! Money dropped in front of me.

I forced my aching body to stand. By then, hyung had lost interest in me, sitting in a chair, putting on a headset, and starting a game. That’s all he did these days.

I picked up the money from the floor, stuffed it into my pocket, and headed to the door. In our small studio apartment, it took just five steps from the living room to the entrance.

I slipped on ill-fitting sneakers and was about to leave when hyung added an order.

“Oh, get a Hite too.”

The money he gave me was 5,000 won. Even a rough calculation told me it wasn’t enough for cigarettes and beer. But if I pointed that out, I’d only get curses, not more money. I knew from experience.

No choice. I’d have to beg for credit again.

I left without another word. Creak—the old metal door squeaked, like the scream I couldn’t fully let out.

The house hyung and I lived in was on the rooftop of a 30-year-old rundown villa. There was no elevator, so getting to the ground floor meant navigating steep, narrow stairs.

I took longer than usual to descend, limping from the beating. I was sweating so much that by the time I reached the ground floor, my back was drenched.

As I crossed the front gate, a steep slope greeted me. After about 20 minutes of walking down, I finally saw the sign for my destination: Mugunghwa Supermarket.

It was an old store, older than our rooftop room, run single-handedly by a neighborhood matriarch. There was a convenience store just five minutes from home, but I always came here. For several reasons, one being that it was farther away.

The store’s grandma was trimming peppers on a bench outside. As I dragged my feet closer, she sensed my presence, looked up, and met my eyes.

“Hello.”

I bowed politely. After scanning my battered appearance, she clicked her tongue and spat out a curse.

“That rotten bastard. He’s at it again, huh.”

The curse wasn’t aimed at me but at hyung. She knew he beat me regularly. It wasn’t hard to figure out, considering I showed up looking battered, buying alcohol and cigarettes I didn’t even use.

“He sent you for cigarettes and booze again?”

“Yes…”

I timidly replied, pulling out the money from my pocket. Seeing it was only enough for cigarettes, she muttered as if spitting.

“That gutless bastard.”

“…Sorry.”

She tossed the peppers into a basket, dusted her hands, and got off the bench. Her hunched back spoke of her age.

I followed her into the store. Without me specifying, she grabbed the cigarettes and beer I needed and placed them on the counter.

That wasn’t all she offered.

“Eat some ramen. I’ll cook it for you.”

Maybe she felt sorry for me. For a while now, she’d been cooking ramen for me whenever I came by. I thought it might be shameless to accept, but I couldn’t refuse this time either. I was starving. I hadn’t eaten all day…

As if assuming I’d stay, she didn’t wait for an answer and headed to the small kitchen attached to the store. I followed and sat on a plastic chair.

About five minutes later, a delicious smell filled the air. Soon, a steaming bowl of jajang ramen and green onion kimchi was placed before me.

“Thank you, I’ll eat well.”

I expressed my gratitude sincerely and picked up my chopsticks. Having skipped three meals, the food was so good it brought tears to my eyes. It wasn’t just the ramen—the kindness she casually offered felt like a healing touch, soothing my pain.

As I devoured the ramen, she stood with her hands behind her back, looking down at me impassively. Then, out of nowhere, she dropped a blunt remark.

“When’s that rotten bastard gonna die?”

Cough!

Startled by the unexpected comment, I choked on a noodle. She clicked her tongue and handed me a bottle of water. I drank quickly, wiped my lips with the back of my hand, and replied belatedly.

“Yeah…”

The rotten bastard she meant was obviously hyung. In other words, she wished he’d die. Funny thing was, despite it being an insult to my family, I wasn’t offended at all. I didn’t even feel angry. If anything, I agreed. Honestly, I was curious too—when would that monster die?

“Why don’t you just push him off the rooftop someday? If the cops ask, just say he was drunk and fell on his own.”

I hadn’t tried pushing him off a rooftop, but I had gone at him with a knife once. Fed up with the constant abuse and violence, I was consumed by the urge to kill him and lunged with a kitchen knife.

The result of my first attempt at fighting back was pathetic. Far from succeeding, I got beaten to a pulp. I nearly died trying to kill him. Maybe it was inevitable. The size difference between us was almost double. Malnourished, I was smaller than kids my age, while hyung, though short, was stocky and thick. I’d guess he weighed over 100 kilos easily.

Anyway, I was serious. I really wanted to kill him. I fought with everything I had. …Yet, I couldn’t do it. All I managed was a single scratch on his neck.

It wasn’t just that I failed to kill him. My will to resist was broken entirely. That day, as I lay under his feet getting pummeled, I realized I couldn’t beat him. I couldn’t save myself. The place I was in was a hell shaped like a prison.

That was why I couldn’t readily agree to her suggestion of pushing him off the rooftop. The possibility of failing again and the consequences that would follow were too much to ignore. For someone like me, who’d lost the strength and will to fight back, it was impossible.

When I only gave a weak smile, she misunderstood, clicked her tongue, and scolded me.

“Tch. So you can’t do it because he’s your hyung? With a heart that weak, no wonder you’re getting beaten up. Why not just run away?”

I’d tried that too. I’d stayed away from home for a few days once. The problem was, there was nowhere to go. Some places wouldn’t take a 16-year-old, others said I was too young. Even a runaway group I managed to contact rejected me. They’d have taken me if I were a girl, but not a guy. No one wanted a scrappy, penniless, awkward kid like me. In the end, I realized the only place I could lay my head was that hell ruled by a monster, and I came back.

I had two options.

Give up and die. Or endure somehow.

I was choosing the latter. I was enduring. I didn’t yet have the courage to die.

Swallowing her harsh words like a side dish, I finished the ramen and stood up. Hesitating, I placed the 5,000 won on the table and glanced at her. She approached, picked up the money, and thankfully didn’t ask for more.

I followed her out. Holding the cigarettes and beer, I bowed.

“Thank you for the meal.”

“If you’re thankful, make up your mind and push that rotten bastard off the rooftop. Otherwise, you’re the one who’s gonna die.”

It wasn’t an unreasonable thing to say. It could actually happen someday. Maybe it’d be better that way. If I couldn’t die by my own hand, letting someone else end it might not be so bad.

As if reading my pathetic thoughts, she balled her wrinkled hand into a fist and smacked my head, as if to snap me out of it. It didn’t hurt at all, so I just gave an awkward smile.

Leaving the supermarket, I walked back home. Since I’d taken extra time eating ramen, hyung would probably give me hell when I got back. If I was going to suffer anyway, I figured I might as well enjoy the air outside this hell a bit longer.

I deliberately slowed my steps. I breathed in the breeze deeply. I followed the drifting clouds with my eyes. In that way, I savored the calm born of resignation.

The way back was long. And steep.

As always, the path to hell was like that.

When I finally reached the house, dawdling as I did, I was greeted by unfamiliar cars. Three sedans lined up along the street, looking blatantly expensive. I didn’t know much about cars, but I could tell value when I saw it. To be blunt, they didn’t belong in this neighborhood.

Why were they parked so carelessly?

It was odd. People usually didn’t park right in front of someone else’s gate, right? If the landlord on the first floor saw this, they’d throw a fit. Even in a neighborhood where narrow streets and poor facilities led to rampant illegal parking, blocking someone’s gate like this was rare and struck me as particularly inconsiderate.

Afraid of brushing against the cars, I shrank my body and carefully moved through the narrow gap. My small frame was a blessing—someone hyung’s size wouldn’t have dared try. Thankfully, I made it to the gate without touching anything.

The gate was wide open. Did I forget to close it earlier? Puzzled, I stepped inside, only to stumble as my legs gave out. There was a reason. People were occupying the stairs.

“Huh!”

Startled by the unfamiliar sight, I instinctively held my breath. At the same time, several pairs of eyes shot toward me. Three men in shirts and dress pants looked down at me with curious expressions.

“What’s this?”

The man sitting on the second step voiced his suspicion. Unsure if it was a question or a mutter, I just swallowed dryly. He furrowed his brow and spoke again.

“Who the hell are you?”

This time, it was clearly a question. I had to answer. If I didn’t, there’d be consequences. My body, used to violence, could instinctively sense the vibe.

“I-I live on the rooftop…”

The man’s furrowed brow shot up at my hesitant words, as if signaling violence. My body shrank back. But then, another man chimed in.

“Oh, that bastard’s brother?”

That bastard?

Confused about who he meant, I stood there dumbfounded as the men started talking among themselves.

“What? Brother? That fucker has a brother?”

“Yeah, I think he’s got one.”

“Really? Is he actually his brother? That guy’s a fucking pig, but this kid’s so scrawny. A grade-schooler?”

“From what I know, he’s sixteen. Wouldn’t that make him a middle schooler?”

“No way! That tiny thing’s a middle schooler?”

Sixteen is my age by the lunar calendar, so technically I’m in my first year of high school. But I didn’t bother correcting them. I knew when to speak and when to stay quiet.

The man on the stairs scanned me up and down. It wasn’t a friendly look, but it wasn’t hostile either.

“Hey, you tell me. What’s that guy’s name up there?”

“Yeon Jongjin.”

“Oh, right. Jongjin. So you’re his brother.”

Yeon Jongjin.

Hyung’s name.

I nodded absentmindedly.

“Hey, don’t just nod. Use your tongue.”

Spit. The man spat aggressively, his tone threatening. Though it had a hint of playfulness, it was intimidating enough for me. I forced my stiff tongue to move as he ordered.

“J-Jongjin hyung’s brother, that’s me…”

“Yeah? But your faces look nothing alike.”

He chuckled, amused, his laugh eerily similar to the one hyung let out while gaming.

“What do we do? Send him away?”

As the laughter died down, the man leaning on one leg, who’d been silent until now, cautiously spoke up. Now I could see the hierarchy. Among the three, the guy on the stairs seemed to be the leader. That wasn’t all I sensed. I had a hunch about what kind of people they were…

“Why kick out a kid trying to go home? Let him be.”

I didn’t know what was going on, but seeing these men, who I suspected were gangsters, camped out here, the situation upstairs probably wasn’t normal either. I didn’t want to go home—hell, I wanted to turn back. As I stepped back, the man on the stairs—no, the gangster—suddenly stood up.

“Follow me. I’ll take you up.”

The high-ranking gangster climbed the stairs. I took another step back. Then, the other gangster, who’d been standing at an angle, grabbed me by the scruff of my neck. Like I was being hauled off, I was dragged up to the rooftop.

Halfway up the stairs, I faintly heard crying. Was it hyung? It sounded familiar yet strangely foreign, making it hard to be sure. Why foreign? I’d never seen hyung cry. Even at our parents’ funeral, he didn’t shed a tear, just counted condolence money with a smirk. I was used to his laughter, but his crying was utterly alien.

Pushed by a strong force, I reached the door in no time. It was open, and the lead gangster strode in without hesitation. I was shoved inside too.

The first thing I saw was the back of a man sitting in a chair. Soon, he turned his head at an angle to look at me.

“…!”

Our eyes met.

His were cold, devoid of warmth. Eyes like condensed frost. Eyes that held a blade.

I’d never seen a person with eyes like that. But I knew an animal that might have them. A snake. A venomous snake with cold scales.

A sudden chill ran through my entire body. It was because of the danger I instinctively sensed. I didn’t need anyone to tell me; I knew it. The person at the very top of these uninvited guests was that man.

His eyes, glinting with an alien light, scanned me slowly, as if dissecting me, while I froze in fear. Without words, his gaze asked me, Who are you?

But no answer came. It wasn’t just that my tongue felt stiff; it was as if it had gone completely numb. It was paralysis caused by the venom lurking in his piercing stare.

In place of my silence, the thug who had forcibly dragged me here revealed my identity.

“Hyung. This punk says he’s that bastard’s younger brother. Thought he might be useful, so I brought him along.”

Before the words could fully settle, my body was shoved forward. I stumbled a few steps and collapsed limply onto the floor. The shock from the beating I’d taken from hyung earlier hadn’t even subsided, and now another blow sent pain rippling through my body like an earthquake.

“Ugh…”

I had no time to swallow the groan that clawed its way up my throat. Letting it spill out, I propped myself up on my arms, lifting my upper body. Unfortunately, I had fallen right beside that man. But what truly unnerved me was something else: the sight of hyung, trembling on his knees in nothing but his underwear.

“…!”

It felt like my breath had stopped. That’s how intense it was. It was a shocking scene, so unbelievable it seemed like a lie, even though I was seeing it with my own eyes.

Hyung’s body, covered in tears and snot, shaking uncontrollably, was marked with vivid red traces of a brutal beating. He looked as bad as I did… no, worse.

Standing behind hyung like a statue, with a baseball bat slung over his shoulder, was another man who had rolled up his sleeves. He was undoubtedly a thug too. The dark tattoos coiling around his thick forearms like vines lent credibility to my assumption.

Speaking of which, the shape of the baseball bat that thug was holding looked oddly familiar. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was the same bat hyung sometimes used to beat me like a dog. There was even still blood on it—my blood.

“Ha…”

The moment I realized hyung had been beaten with the very tool he used to hit me, a strange sound slipped through my teeth. Even though it came from my mouth, I couldn’t tell if it was a laugh or a sigh. Similarly, I couldn’t quite define the feeling I had watching hyung in such a pathetic state… it was hard to pin down.

That’s when it happened.

“Excuse me.”

A low voice dropped from above my head. It was smooth in tone, but like his eyes, it carried no warmth… that kind of voice.

Before I could react, the collar of my cotton shirt was yanked downward, stretching it. The man, seated in a chair, had hooked his fingers and pulled it down.

His gaze then traced from my nape to my collarbone, then to my shoulder. Strangely, wherever his eyes landed, a peculiar heat and sharp sting bloomed. It was as if my skin was aware of his gaze.

The observation was brief. He soon withdrew his hand from me and turned his attention back to hyung.

“What did you say earlier? Say it again.”

At his interrogative tone, hyung’s trembling grew even more intense. He couldn’t say a word. He only rolled his anxious eyes downward.

When no answer came, the man raised his hand and flicked it in the air. Catching this with a sidelong glance, hyung lifted his head and rubbed his hands together desperately, pleading.

“W-Wait, just a moment! Please, just a moment…!”

His pleas were futile. Immediately, thwack! The man standing behind hyung swung the baseball bat.

“Aaagh!”

A horrific scream shook the room as the heavy metal struck hyung’s shoulder. The intensity of his pain was vividly captured in that scream.

“Hurk! Ugh! Haa…”

Clutching the struck area, hyung writhed on the floor like a dying insect, and I watched him silently.

Yes, I didn’t look away. I watched.

With both eyes, clearly.

“Feeling like answering now?”

The man threw another question at hyung. Sobbing, hyung nodded vigorously. His voice, thick with tears and mixed with dirty saliva, burst out.

“Huhk! It’s because of my brother… I said I did it for him…!”

“Be more specific.”

“To feed my brother… He’s my only family, and I needed money to feed him, to keep him alive…! That’s what I said.”

“Right. You did say that. But is it true you’ve been taking care of him?”

“Y-Yes, yes…!”

A laugh slipped out of me before I could stop it. Why? Because it was a lie.

Hyung never took care of me. He didn’t just neglect me; he exploited me. I survived on the scraps he left behind after stuffing himself. If he cooked two packs of ramen, I was lucky to get a single chopstick’s worth. If it weren’t for the school meals, I would’ve starved to death long ago.

Did he hear my laugh? I felt a gaze from the side. The man was looking at me. I cautiously tilted my head up. For some reason, I felt like I had to meet his eyes.

When our gazes locked again, he raised one corner of his mouth. But, as expected, his eyes didn’t smile.

He turned to me this time and asked.

“Kid, tell me. Is what he said true?”

Kid. It was the first time I’d been called that. Maybe because it was unfamiliar, my ears tickled.

Regardless, a question had been asked, so I had to answer. I didn’t know exactly what was going on, but I knew I should say it was true for hyung’s sake. But my instincts whispered otherwise. That it wasn’t the right answer. That I shouldn’t lie to this man.

Honestly, I didn’t even want to. Hyung had never done anything for me. Why should I risk lying for someone like him?

In the end, I shook my head. No, what hyung said was a lie…

The response to my honest answer was the man’s hand.

“…!”

I reflexively hunched my shoulders and squeezed my eyes shut. It wasn’t because I thought I’d be hit. It was just a natural reaction whenever someone reached for me.

Fortunately, the man’s hand didn’t bring pain. Quite the opposite. As if praising me for doing well, he gently stroked my hair.

It was strange. It had been so long since I’d felt such a gentle touch from another person… not since my parents passed away.

“He says it’s not true.”

His hand stayed on me, but his words were directed at hyung as he tilted his head.

“Doesn’t seem true to me either.”

I glanced at hyung without thinking. He was glaring at me fiercely with tear-soaked eyes, clearly resentful that I hadn’t backed him up.

I shuddered. A habitual fear shook my body. That look always preceded intense violence. There were no exceptions.

Terrified, I hurriedly lowered my gaze. Then the man’s hand lightly patted my head. Was it meant to reassure me… or was I imagining it?

“Stealing and lying on top of it. Isn’t that a bit too bold?”

Stealing?

Hyung stole something?

“Thanks to you, I’m in the mood to get my hands dirty for the first time in a while. I’m pretty good at teaching arrogant punks a lesson. So, how about it? Should I have some fun with you now?”

Eek! Hyung let out a terrified gasp. Though he spoke indirectly, I could tell what he meant.

Hyung began pleading with the man through tears again.

“Hyung…! No, boss! I was wrong! I was really wrong! Please, just once! Just let it slide this one time! I swear I won’t do it again!”

“Well, is there any reason I should let a pathetic punk who’s cost me money slide?”

The curse, delivered in a low, smooth voice, had an extraordinary impact. Even though it wasn’t aimed at me, it sent chills down my spine.

“Doesn’t seem like there is.”

At the man’s merciless verdict, hyung’s sobs grew louder. It seemed the man intended to make hyung pay thoroughly for his mistake.

“Boss, boss! What, what can I do? Please!”

“There’s not much to do. Just come along quietly. We’ll take care of the surgery. Even a body like yours should have one or two parts worth salvaging.”

So, he means… to harvest his organs and sell them?

Hyung’s face drained of color, just as I made the same realization. He looked like someone who’d just been sentenced to death.

“No… No! Please, please, boss! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die!”

Hyung screamed as if his life depended on it. His hands rubbed together so frantically they looked like they might catch fire. It was a desperate, almost pathetic plea… no, begging.

Despite such fervent begging, the man’s voice remained chillingly dry.

“Is that so?”

“Yes, yes! Please, please spare me! Please…!”

“For someone who doesn’t want to die, you’ve done some pretty bold things.”

“I didn’t know! I didn’t know what I was doing!”

“Oh, you didn’t know…”

“Yes! Yes! I really didn’t know anything, I was just following orders…”

“Sure, that could happen. So, if I let you live, assuming it was a mistake made in ignorance, what do I get out of it?”

“W-What do I get?”

“If I’m going to go through the trouble, there needs to be some benefit. Why should I spare you when I could just drag you to the operating table? Why? Is there a reason?”

“W-Well, that’s…”

“Right. I’ll give you a chance to tell me. If there is one.”

This was probably hyung’s last chance. If he couldn’t convince the man now, he’d be taken away. And if he was taken, he’d die. In pieces.

I could see hyung desperately racking his brain. Meanwhile, the man leisurely stroked my hair, waiting for hyung’s response.

Thump, thump, thump…

In the suffocating silence, only the sound of a racing heartbeat echoed. I couldn’t tell if it was mine or hyung’s.

How much time passed?

“Getting bored here.”

The man urged for an answer.

Flinching, hyung hurriedly offered a solution.

“I’ll fix it! I’ll make up for the losses you’ve suffered, boss!”

“How.”

“Well, I mean… somehow…?”

At hyung’s vague response, the man let out a scoff. It was clearly mocking.

“Just die. Cleanly.”

With that, he withdrew his hand from me and stood up. At the same time, the waiting thugs began moving toward hyung in unison, accompanied by their cackling laughter.

“No, no! Please! Wait, just wait! Aagh! Aaagh!”

Hyung, at a loss, squirmed on the floor, screaming. He looked like he might pass out. Maybe that would be better for him.

Just as the thugs were about to grab him—

“The goods! I can recover the goods! I’ll get them back! The rest, I’ll pay with money! I’ll pay, damn it!”

Hyung, in a frenzy, blurted out a new proposal.

The man raised his hand. The thugs, about to seize hyung, stopped in their tracks and stepped back. It seemed hyung’s desperation had worked.

“Huhk…!”

Relieved as the thugs retreated, hyung slumped forward, tears streaming down his face. Drip, drip. His tears fell endlessly onto the yellowed floor.

…So he could cry like that too.

Over the image of hyung crying, another image superimposed: hyung laughing and counting money at our parents’ funeral. The same hyung who laughed in the face of their deaths was now sobbing at the prospect of his own… what should I call it? It was both amusing and futile.

Tap, tap, tap. The sound of the man’s shoes mingled with hyung’s sobs. I snapped out of my thoughts and followed his back as he approached hyung. Strangely, though he already seemed imposing when seated, he now appeared massive. In my world, hyung had been the biggest person, but this man was at least twice his size. Yet, he didn’t feel bulky at all. Sleek was a better word for him.

He stopped right in front of hyung. And then—

“Ugh!”

He stomped on hyung’s right hand, which had been braced against the floor.

“Aghh…”

Hyung couldn’t even try to pull his hand free, only letting out pained whimpers, drooling saliva. To him, the man spoke in an even more commanding tone than before.

“Three hundred twenty million. Precisely three hundred twenty-eight million. That’s the amount you need to cover. Got it?”

“Huhk… Yes, yes!”

“Good. One week.”

“O-One week? That’s too short…!”

Crunch.

“Aaagh!”

The sound of flesh and bone being crushed rang out as the man pressed harder on hyung’s hand with his shoe.

“One week.”

“Ugh, ugh! Huhk… Yes, yes!”

“I’m telling you now, there’s no such thing as one more day. Don’t even think about running. If you try, you’ll find out just how much of a bastard I can be. It’s better to end this cleanly, right?”

Hyung, barely able to speak, nodded frantically. Each nod sent tears splashing in all directions.

Next, the man opened his coat, as if reaching for something. Bending down, he slipped a small piece of paper into hyung’s mouth. It looked like a business card. Without being told, hyung clamped his lips around it tightly.

Tap, tap. The man patted hyung’s cheek a couple of times. Then, suddenly, thwack! He struck him hard.

“Urk!”

Hyung couldn’t even scream properly and collapsed sideways. A heavy thud echoed. Blood from his nose and lips pooled on the floor, forming a small puddle. Meanwhile, a strange smell began to fill the air. Looking closer, hyung’s underwear was soaked—he’d pissed himself.

Unable to get up, hyung flopped like a dying fish. He seemed to have fainted. He’d endured the baseball bat, but one strike from this man had knocked him out.

The man, who had crushed hyung with a single gesture, stepped back before the spreading urine could touch him. Then he turned around. Naturally, our eyes met again.

He held my gaze and extended a hand to the side. A subordinate, standing like a decoration against the wall, quickly approached and placed a handkerchief in his hand. As he leisurely wiped away hyung’s traces, he never took his eyes off me.

Moments later, he dropped the handkerchief to the floor. No, he discarded it. It wasn’t just tissue, but a handkerchief, yet he tossed it away without hesitation once it served its purpose. It seemed trivial, but I felt like I’d glimpsed a fragment of his essence—merciless, indifferent, cold…

After wiping his hands, he walked toward me. Tap, tap, tap. My heart pounded in time with his footsteps. Strangely, though I was getting closer to a terrifying person, I had no urge to flee or avoid him. I just stood there, rooted in place.

Stopping about two steps away, he suddenly crouched down. My head, which had been tilted up, lowered naturally, and our gazes aligned.

Seeing his face up close… it was striking. So handsome it felt almost otherworldly. His light brown eyes, in particular, stood out.

Was he mixed-race, perhaps?

Lost in staring at his face, I flinched when one corner of his mouth curled up slowly.

“Feel good?”

A low voice slipped from his lips, tinged with an unreadable smile. Confused by his cryptic question, I mumbled back.

“…What?”

“Does it feel good inside?”

“…”

“That’s the face you’re making.”

…Me?

I was making a face that felt good?

Without thinking, I raised a hand to touch my face. Apparently finding this amusing, he let out a deflated chuckle.

“Should I have beaten him more?”

…What was I supposed to say?

Should I say it was enough? Or that it would’ve been fine if he’d hit him more?

Unable to decide, I hesitated. Hesitating led to delaying my response. Delaying led to silence.

Thankfully, he didn’t press for an answer. Instead, he opened the wallet in his hand, pulled out some cash, and held it out to me.

“Take it.”

It was fifty-thousand-won bills. Not one or two, but several. A quick glance told me it was a lot.

The sudden gesture wasn’t so much appreciated as it was puzzling. I couldn’t help but ask.

“Why…?”

“Because I want to give it to you.”

“…”

“For the record, I don’t like being refused. So take it quietly.”

What could I say? It was oddly gentle yet appropriately commanding… a somewhat unique order to me.

With no choice, I accepted the money politely with both hands.

As if to say I did well, he patted my head again and said.

“Don’t hold back, spend it.”

I appreciated it, but sadly, I couldn’t. It would get taken anyway. Hyung was the kind of person who’d steal money I didn’t even have.

“If it gets taken, tell me. I’ll take care of it like I did earlier.”

…Was he perceptive, or did I give myself away with my expression again? It felt like he’d read my mind, which was uncanny.

Adding a brief smile, he stood up. My head naturally tilted upward. For a moment, I blinked and quietly met his cascading gaze.

Without adding more words, he abruptly turned and walked toward the door. The thugs, who had been observing, followed in step behind him. Soon, the uninvited guests left, and a familiar silence settled over the house.

Dazed, I stared at the door before checking on hyung. He was still unconscious. He didn’t seem like he’d wake up easily.

“…What a mess.”

That’s how hyung looked now. Pathetic. Dirty and disgusting. Pitiful and ridiculous.

For a long while after, I kept looking at hyung, trampled on the floor.

No, I was observing him. With a strange sense of exhilaration.

The man was right. As he said.

It felt… good.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. Not because of hyung’s groans, sounding like he was on the verge of death. It was because of the man who had effortlessly crushed the monster-like hyung I thought was invincible.

His image from start to finish played relentlessly in my mind. Sitting in the chair looking at me, gently stroking my hair, crushing hyung, smiling as he asked if it felt good, giving me money, telling me to report if it was taken—those moments…

💳

“It’s empty again…”

I muttered quietly, looking around the empty house.

Hyung wasn’t here. There wasn’t even a trace of him.

It had been two weeks now. Two weeks since I last saw hyung. He’d occasionally stay out for a few days after blowing all his money, but he’d never been gone this long. He was the type to bring his girlfriend home to save on motel costs, even kicking me out. So his prolonged absence felt strange. And somewhat unsettling. Probably because of those uninvited guests from two weeks ago.

Of course, separate from the unease, my body and mind felt at ease. Whether he hit me or not, just being around hyung was uncomfortable, so it was only natural.

Along with my questions about his absence, I set down my bag and pulled out the ramen I’d bought from the store, heading to the kitchen. Rice was usually the staple, but I ate ramen far more often. Honestly, being able to eat ramen at all was a blessing.

The money I’d received from that nameless man was, of course, no longer in my possession. It was about eight hundred thousand won, but it had long since ended up in hyung’s pocket. It was the expected and inevitable outcome. No matter how well I hid it, there was no blind spot in this small house where hyung wouldn’t find it.

Besides, hyung was in a situation where he desperately needed money. He had to cover over three hundred million won, after all.

Those terrifying uninvited guests… to put it bluntly, the thugs who came by. After they left, hyung spent two days groaning, unable to get up. On the third day, he finally came to his senses, but from then on, he was glued to his phone. He was calling everyone he knew, trying to borrow money. I overheard bits about drugs here and there. From that, I guessed the thing he stole from that man was probably drugs. Still, there was no sign of him doing drugs at home. Maybe he was doing it outside?