BCRD 17

“Is this the right place?”

It was the beginning of February, when the winter wind was at its peak.

After a 30-minute climb up a frozen, steep road, I stood in front of an unfamiliar main gate, checking the map on my phone. At least the destination marked on the map and my current location were the same. The reason I was still confused about whether I had come to the right place was because of the extraordinary presence of the main gate.

The gate, built in the style of a traditional Korean house, or hanok, as if it had been plucked from a historical drama, was quite magnificent. It felt like some kind of cultural heritage site. Perhaps because there wasn’t even a common sign attached, it didn’t look like a restaurant just by looking at the gate.

Should I go in or not? After hesitating for a while, I cautiously pushed the gate. The large wooden gate moved surprisingly smoothly.

After swallowing a dry gulp of saliva, I tentatively stepped inside. Once through the gate, a unique view came into sight. A wide garden where grass and stone paths, rocks and pine trees, stone statues and a small pond were stylishly arranged. Beyond it, a large building in the form of a traditional house stood tall. And even the snow-covered mountain spread out like a backdrop… It was truly a landscape full of tranquil charm. It was so completely different from the bustling city I had passed through to get here that I felt as if I had entered another world.

By the way, where should I go?

Unable to get my bearings, I just stood near the gate and looked around. If there had been a person passing by, I would have stopped them and asked, but no matter how much I looked, I couldn’t sense a single person, let alone any sign of life. There was no other choice. I had to go in further.

I walked slowly toward the building. It was when I crossed the wide garden and reached the building. Just then, a person came out of the entrance. Judging by the hanbok she was wearing, which suited the style of the building quite well, she was undoubtedly a staff member.

I quickly approached and spoke to her.

“Um, excuse me. May I ask you something?”

The woman who saw me made a puzzled expression. I could see in her eyes that she was thinking, ‘What is this kid?’ Still, it was a relief that she didn’t ignore me and responded.

“What can I do for you?”

“Is this Sohye-dang?”

“Yes. It is.”

What a relief. I found the right place.

I felt a sense of relief inwardly and explained my reason for coming here.

“I came for a job interview, but I’m not sure where to go. They told me to come to the president’s office…”

“Ah.”

As she understood my purpose, the look of suspicion disappeared from the woman’s face.

“You can go to the office building in the rear garden. Go that way and turn left around the building.”

The woman kindly guided me, even pointing out the direction with her finger.

“Thank you.”

After bowing my head in gratitude, I immediately started walking in the direction I was guided.

“Fluffy.”

That was the first thing the president said upon seeing me. There was no impure intention; it felt like he had just spat out his impression of my appearance without a filter, so it wasn’t particularly unpleasant. It was just that I was confused whether that impression was meant as a positive or a negative.

“Who did you say introduced you?”

The first question was ordinary. But was it okay to say his name? I hesitated for a moment before cautiously mentioning the name of the sunbae I had heard about through Jiho.

“A sunbae-nim from the same university introduced me. Um, Hwang Jiwon…”

“Ah.”

As soon as the president heard the name, he gave off the nuance that he immediately knew who it was.

“That son of a bitch who ran off as soon as he saved up some money?”

“…”

He was smiling, but his sarcastic tone was full of personal resentment. Maybe I shouldn’t have said his name. I felt like I had made a mistake.

“So that’s how it is. The kid had a good eye.”

The president, nodding to himself, picked something up. At a glance, it looked like an electronic cigarette. It was something Jiho also used, so I could recognize it without difficulty.

The president put the drip tip to his lips, sucked in the vapor, and then blew it out with a whoosh. A sweet scent resembling fruit faintly lingered at the tip of my nose. It was definitely better than tobacco smoke, but since it was still a cigarette, it wasn’t a very pleasant feeling.

Soon, the president rose from his chair and approached me where I was standing. I hadn’t realized it when he was sitting, but he was quite tall. His limbs were long and slender, and his face was small, giving him the feel of a model with a slightly androgynous beauty. If it hadn’t been for his deep voice, I might have been a little confused about whether he was a woman or a man.

The president, who had come right up to me, suddenly brushed my cheek with his thumb. I was flustered by the sudden contact, but I stood still for the time being. Fortunately, the contact did not last long.

“Skin is soft too.”

The president quickly removed his hand and took a step back. In that state, he then scanned me from head to toe.

“Height is adequate.”

Next, he walked in a circle around me. It felt exactly like I was being scanned from head to toe. I had heard that they were particularly picky about faces, and it seemed he was evaluating whether my appearance was suitable for working here.

I was nervously enduring the president’s gaze. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my butt.

“…!”

“Size is good too.”

…Isn’t this sexual harassment?

It seemed to be more for the purpose of checking than teasing, but I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. Even so, having come here to earn money and asking to be hired, it was difficult to show my displeasure towards a potential employer. How easy is it to earn someone else’s money? I had to do what I was told from above, and I had to learn to let things slide when customers acted up, thinking, ‘It can happen.’ This was the social life I had learned through various part-time jobs over the past year.

“Okay. You’re hired.”

The evaluation I received from the president was fortunately positive. But it was a bit strange. He didn’t even look at my resume, nor did he ask about my future aspirations; he just examined my appearance and decided whether to hire me… Well, I guess I should be glad he didn’t tell me to get lost. It was worth the hour and a half it took to get here.

“Thank you. I will work hard.”

“Yeah, how will you work hard?”

Did he mean what kind of work I wanted to apply for? As long as the conditions were right, I was fine with serving, cleaning, anything.

“I can do anything.”

“I like that.”

The president praised me with a smile in his eyes. Then, he sucked in cigarette smoke and intentionally blew it into my face. I couldn’t help but frown.

The president, not caring about my reaction, asked a new question.

“By the way, how did that kid Jiwon describe this place to you?”

I hesitated, finding it difficult to answer. The person who had effectively connected me to this place was Jiho, and I had never even met that sunbae.

The reason I came to be introduced to this job by Jiho was my leave of absence from school. Actually, after finishing the first semester of last year, I had intended to quit school right away. It was part of an effort to sever my connection with Mr. Baek Sahyeon. Isn’t severing all ties the most effective way to extinguish feelings? Following the principle that out of sight, out of mind, I wanted to get as far away from him as possible, and to do that, I judged that there should be no point of contact at all.

There was only one connection that existed between Mr. Baek Sahyeon and me. Money. To be precise, debt. The tuition he had provided me under the guise of an investment was now no different from a debt to me. I wanted to get rid of that debt quickly. So, at first, I intended to drop out. Since it was a university I wouldn’t have attended if not for Mr. Baek Sahyeon, it was a bit of a shame to quit, but I didn’t think I would have any major lingering regrets. Nevertheless, the reason I decided on a leave of absence instead of dropping out was largely because of Jiho.

‘Hey, you bastard. Are you crazy? Dropping out? Our school is tough to get into even if you have money. But what? You’re quitting to earn money? What bullshit. Are you only thinking about surviving for now? Don’t you have a future? Don’t you know a diploma is essential in the job market? Especially a diploma from our school, it’s valued a hell of a lot. Hey, go somewhere else and try saying you quit the national team to do part-time work. They’ll probably think, is this guy an idiot? Forget it. Stop talking nonsense and just attend. If you really can’t, then take a leave of absence.’

Jiho’s opinion had some merit. As it was a school recognized as a prestigious university, it was clear that just obtaining the diploma would be of great help in the future.

In the end, due to Jiho’s active persuasion, I submitted a request for a leave of absence instead of a withdrawal form. And for half a year, I worked three part-time jobs a day without a day off, steadily saving money. As a result, I have now saved about 8 million won, and with the deposit that will be returned when I move out of my room next month, I planned to settle all the debt I owed him.

After paying off the debt, the remaining money would be about 3 million won. With that amount, which wasn’t even enough for a minimum deposit, it was realistically difficult to find a decent room. So, I was urgently looking into gosiwons when Jiho happened to introduce me to this place, Sohye-dang.

‘Here, take it. This is what I got by offering up beef and liquor.’

Boasting like that, what Jiho shared with me was a contact number starting with 010.

‘There’s this sunbae named Hwang Jiwon who returned to school last semester, right? But that sunbae also took a two-year leave of absence, and he said he worked somewhere and saved up a shitload of money during that time. He’s not from a rich family, but damn, he was driving a Mercedes-Benz, you know? So I asked him. Where on earth did you save up all that money? But he was being a real hardass, saying he couldn’t just introduce anyone. But who am I? Am I not the great Jiho of the capital E personality? I thought of you and really, reeeaaally sucked up to him to find this out for you. He told me to try calling this number. Said it guarantees at least 4.5 million a month. After taxes, too.’

Not a large corporation, but a contract position paying 4.5 million won a month after taxes? For me, who couldn’t even make 3 million a month working three part-time jobs, it was an attractive enough condition. Even the tutoring part-time job, which had the best hourly wage, didn’t pay that much. Of course, I was aware that the more money they paid, the higher the possibility of poor working conditions, but I thought I had nothing to lose and gave them a call, and this interview was the result.

Anyway, according to Jiho who introduced me to the job, this place was…

“I heard it was a high-end restaurant.”

That’s what it was. A place that rich people use for entertainment, he said.

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my.”

Why is his reaction like that? Is there something else?

“Am I wrong?”

As I asked, bewildered, the president grinned. But that expression was, how should I put it… quite suggestive.

“That’s right, a restaurant. But there’s a more accurate term for it.”

“What… is it?”

“Yojeong (料亭).”

“Pardon? A yojeong?”

“Yes. I guess it’s a bit of a difficult word for kids these days?”

I didn’t appreciate being treated like a child, but it was true that I didn’t know what yojeong meant. The president, having noticed this, explained without me even asking.

“A place that provides guests not only with cuisine but also with entertainment, amusement, and even a place to sleep. Such a place is called a yojeong. Do you understand?”

“Ah… Yes.”

Not perfectly, but I think I roughly got it. So, a luxurious adult entertainment establishment? It seems I could understand it to that extent.

“Here, we provide whatever the customer wants. Nothing is impossible, and if we don’t have it, we make it and bring it. This is the ironclad rule of our Sohye-dang.”

The president particularly emphasized the expression ‘whatever’. This would mean that they provide not only legal things but also illegal things.

“Now, let me ask you straight. Does the scope of what you can provide to our customers include your body? If it’s possible, your salary will be set accordingly.”

In short, he was asking if I could sell my body.

I answered immediately.

“No.”

It was an issue that didn’t require even a moment’s hesitation. I came here to sell my labor, not to sell my body. If prostitution had been a basic condition, I wouldn’t have even called, let alone come here. Even now, if he were to force me into prostitution, I was prepared to leave without any regrets.

At my firm refusal, which left no room for doubt, the president clicked his tongue, tsk. However, as if he had already anticipated the answer, he didn’t try to persuade me and just nodded his head leisurely.

“Alright, then. It’s a shame, but it can’t be helped.”

He didn’t seem to have any intention of forcing me. That was a relief. If there had been even the slightest sign that he would try to force me, I really would have walked out.

“When can you start working?”

“I can start from next month. I still have a part-time job that I’m working…”

From what we had discussed on the phone beforehand, the working condition was six days a week, so to work here, I had to quit all my current part-time jobs. It was polite to give at least two weeks’ notice before quitting, so I needed some time.

I watched his expression, worried he might be displeased that I couldn’t start right away, but fortunately, the president’s face seemed untroubled.

“Good. Do that.”

The president, who agreed readily without adding any further words, returned to his desk and pressed a button on the phone.

“Interview’s over. Bring in the contract for a server.”

The president just tossed out his words and hung up. Then he sat in his chair, rested his chin on his hand, and gazed at me intently.

“What a waste. You’re the type who would be popular all around.”

For a mumble to himself, his voice was loud.

I pretended not to hear and deliberately looked away.

Before long, the door to the president’s office opened, and a man holding a document envelope came in. The man walked past me, sat on the sofa, and gestured to me. It meant for me to come and sit.

I cautiously walked over and sat across from him, and the man handed me two documents, each folded into two pages. It was an employment contract.

The president said.

“Check it and sign. If you have any questions or anything you want to adjust, let me know.”

“Ah, yes.”

I examined the contract carefully. The first page contained content that followed the format of a standard employment contract. The terms in the contract, contrary to my worries, were very favorable.

Work 6 days a week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, eight hours of work from 5 PM to 1 AM. Friday, Saturday, ten hours of work from 5 PM to 3 AM. One hour of break time per day. 2 days of annual leave provided per month. Meal expenses provided. Quarterly incentives provided. Overtime pay, weekly holiday pay, holiday pay, and severance pay comply with the Labor Standards Act. Monthly salary of 4.8 million won.

For now, there was nothing on the first page that particularly bothered me. I immediately moved on to the next page.

The second page had special provisions written on it. There were a total of three items. The first was to give 30 days’ notice before quitting. The second was that I would be held responsible for any damage caused to the establishment due to negligence during work. The last, the third, was that when using the employee dormitory, 10,000 won per day, including meal expenses, would be deducted from the monthly salary. The most noticeable item among these was the third one. This meant that they also provided accommodation, albeit for a fee. And 10,000 won a day? Then that’s about 300,000 won a month. That was not much different from the monthly rent for a gosiwon. In fact, considering transportation costs, it was much cheaper.

“Excuse me, but can I also use the employee dormitory?”

When I asked, filled with anticipation, a positive-leaning answer fortunately came back from the president.

“Of course you can use it if there’s a space. But I don’t know if there is one. Manager Gu, check and if there is, give him a spot.”

“Yes, President.”

“Anything else to ask?”

No. There was nothing more. But as I was about to sign… I suppose the fact that this place was practically an adult entertainment establishment did bother me a bit. But then again, the salary conditions were too good to give up because of that. 4.8 million won a month for a serving job. At this rate, if I just endured for a year, I could easily save up enough living expenses for the four years I would be in school.

‘But that sunbae also took a two-year leave of absence, and he said he worked somewhere and saved up a shitload of money during that time.’

Suddenly, the words Jiho had said came to mind.

Right. The sunbae who introduced me also said he quit safely after saving up money. He even earned enough to drive a Mercedes-Benz after returning to school. Then couldn’t I just earn a decent amount and leave too? Even if the establishment provides illegal services, what problem would there be since I would only be serving anyway, I thought… I should be fine as long as I do the work I’m told to do. Fortunately, I had never been told I was bad at my job while working part-time.

After a short deliberation, I made my decision and informed the president.

“I have no more questions. I’ll sign.”

“Alright. The pen is in the drawer of that side table.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

As instructed by the president, I took a pen from the side table next to the sofa and finished signing the contract. The man across from me confirmed my signature and then nodded at the president. In response, the president smiled brightly and said to me.

“Welcome. Let’s do well together.”

💳

“Aigoo, how have you been.”

At the familiar voice I hadn’t heard in a long time, the corners of my mouth relaxed on their own. As I lifted my slightly bowed head, my eyes met with Hyunki hyung-nim, who was sitting in the seat across from me. I placed the phone I had been looking at face down on the table and greeted him warmly.

“You’re here.”

“Of course, eh. When our Haejin-nim calls, this guy must come, of course, eh. Thank you for showing me your precious face.”

A laugh escaped at hyung-nim’s joke, which was as full of good-natured charm as his smile. With a voice tinged with laughter, I asked the conventional question.

“Have you been well?”

In fact, it had been half a year since we last met. Since deciding to sort out my feelings for Mr. Baek Sahyeon last spring, I hadn’t contacted Hyunki hyung-nim either. It wasn’t because of any bad feelings; it was because hyung-nim was on Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s side, so I had deliberately kept my distance.

“I don’t know about well, but I’ve been getting by without any problems. And you. Are you eating your meals.”

“Yes, I’m eating well.”

“Really. But why do you look so skinny to my eyes?”

I had lost quite a bit of weight compared to last year. I hadn’t skipped any meals, but it was probably because I was busy moving around all day due to my part-time jobs.

As I smiled sheepishly and rubbed my cheek with my hand, Hyunki hyung-nim, who was gazing at me intently, changed the subject.

“How are you feeling inside. Is it a bit better now?”

Even though I had never told him, hyung-nim seemed to know that I had been deeply hurt because of Mr. Baek Sahyeon. I bit the inside of my lip and slowly nodded my head.

Honestly, it was hard to say I was completely okay. I hadn’t been able to sort out my feelings for Mr. Baek Sahyeon either. But I was in a slightly better state. At least now, I don’t cry when I think about the last time I met Mr. Baek Sahyeon. Well, I do get a little choked up, but…

Hyunki hyung-nim wrinkled his nose. He seemed to have sensed my unspoken feelings.

“Anyway, that person is truly a mean bastard. Right?”

Hyung-nim leaned his head forward towards me and bad-mouthed him as if sharing a secret.

I agreed. He was a really mean person. Because he knew my feelings, yet he ignored them and in the end, even left me with a wound. And not just any wound, but a wound that would leave a deep scar.

“If I had my way, I’d just grab that bastard’s head and whack! Huh? Like this! I want to smack him like this, you know.”

Hyung-nim pretended to give a noogie to the empty air. His hands were as big as pot lids, so it looked quite menacing. I smiled and played along.

“I’d be grateful if you did.”

“Really? Should I do it? Should I risk my life and give it a try?”

So you have to put your life on the line to smack Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s head once. It was a joke, but I was once again reminded of the gap between Hyunki hyung-nim and Mr. Baek Sahyeon. Separately, Hyunki hyung-nim’s desire to comfort me came through clearly. So I was grateful, and I was able to laugh comfortably for the first time in a while.

Hyunki hyung-nim, who smiled along with me and gazed at me for a moment, said in a much calmer voice.

“Anyway, thank you for contacting me first. I was upset thinking I might not see you again, you know.”

That was right. This meeting had come about because of my call. But the reason I contacted hyung-nim after half a year was not simply because I missed him. There was a purpose.

I didn’t say I was sorry for not contacting him all this time. If we’re being technical, the person who started to ignore calls first was him. Honestly, it wasn’t even that I ignored hyung-nim’s calls. I just didn’t tell him my new phone number and didn’t contact him first.

In any case, it seemed we had exchanged enough greetings. It was time to get to the main point.

I took an envelope from the inner pocket of the backpack I had placed beside me, put it on the table, and slid it towards Hyunki hyung-nim. Hyung-nim didn’t ask what it was and just dropped his gaze to the envelope. It seemed he had an idea what it was.

“Mister… no, please give this to the president for me.”

The money in the envelope was none other than the repayment.

“If I had known the account number, I would have just sent the money, but I didn’t know it.”

When I borrowed the money in the first place, I had intended to pay it back in cash, so I hadn’t gotten his account number. I didn’t know things would turn out this way… Actually, when I contacted Hyunki hyung-nim, I was going to just ask for the account number. But I had a feeling he wouldn’t give it to me, so I deliberately asked to meet.

“And…”

There was something else I had to give him.

Even though I had made up my mind, I hesitated for a moment. But soon, I took a card out of my pocket and placed it on top of the repayment envelope.

“Please give him this as well.”

Hyunki hyung-nim stared down at the card. There was no sign of surprise. As if he had expected me to do this. Instead, he furrowed his brow, showing his displeasure.

“Do you really have to do this?”

I knew it too. That I didn’t necessarily have to pay it back. Even if I stubbornly insisted I couldn’t pay, Mr. Baek Sahyeon was not likely to harm me. Hyunki hyung-nim probably knew this too, which is why he said it.

Nevertheless, I firmly stated my position.

“Yes. I want to do this.”

“Why?”

“To put my own mind at ease. I don’t want to live feeling indebted.”

Should I be more honest? I actually wanted to hate Mr. Baek Sahyeon. Since I wouldn’t be able to forget him, I wanted to at least hate him. But if I didn’t pay back the debt, I wouldn’t be able to do that. Because a sense of debt is bound to be accompanied by gratitude, not hatred. The unpaid debt would clearly act as an obstacle in getting over Mr. Baek Sahyeon. That was the reason I was無理ing myself to pay back the debt, even taking out my deposit money.

Hyunki hyung-nim, realizing that I would not be persuaded no matter what he said, just kept sighing as if frustrated. He didn’t even make a move to take the envelope. He was hoping I would change my mind and take it back.

Silence followed after that.

There was nothing more to say, and the heavy silence was burdensome, so I was about to use work as an excuse to get up from my seat.

“Haejin-ah.”

Hyunki hyung-nim broke the silence.

“It’s not because hyung-nim dislikes you. You know that, right?”

“…”

‘No. I don’t.’ If I had my way, I would have wanted to say that. Because he never once properly told me what he was thinking, or what he was feeling. An emotion that the person involved doesn’t directly reveal cannot be real. It is merely a guess and a delusion. That was all the person named Baek Sahyeon had taught me.

As I remained silent, neither denying nor affirming, hyung-nim gave a bitter smile and added.

“You know, don’t you. What hyung-nim’s feelings are. That’s why you’re getting angry like this.”

Tap, tap, hyung-nim tapped the envelope with his finger. He was interpreting my act of paying back the debt as an act of anger towards him.

“I understand too. I do understand, but…”

Hyung-nim paused for a moment, then let out another deep sigh.

“Don’t be too harsh.”

The harsh one wasn’t me, it was him. Mr. Baek Sahyeon, who, despite clearly knowing my feelings, slept with someone else, and in the end, made me cry by not offering an excuse, was the one who was harsh and cruel.

“Like I said, I don’t like what hyung-nim is doing either. So I once even asked him outright. What on earth are the feelings you have for Haejin? Do you know what hyung-nim said.”

I shook my head. Because I really couldn’t guess what he had said.

After a moment’s pause, the feelings he conveyed from him were this.

“He said he wants to protect you.”

My brows furrowed. Sadly, it was because that sentiment wasn’t the least bit touching. On the contrary, it just felt insincere. It makes sense, doesn’t it? He wanted to protect me? Then shouldn’t he not have hurt me in the first place?

“Yeah, well, you probably don’t understand. I’m a simple and ignorant bastard too, so I don’t understand all of that complicated mind either. But, I think I know this much.”

“…”

“That it’s not that he isn’t holding onto you, but that he can’t hold onto you.”

It was the moment I was about to retort, asking what kind of bullshit that was. The image of him, drunk, coming to find me, flashed through my mind.

‘I’m not a good person. I’m not a savior, and I’m not a saint.’

At that time, Mr. Baek Sahyeon was angry at me. He said I didn’t see him for who he was… But now, this thought comes to me. That perhaps those words were actually self-criticism. He was being self-deprecating about his own life, a life far from ordinary, steeped in discarding people according to his mood and interests. Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s action of not holding on, for the reason of wanting to protect me, might have also stemmed from that self-deprecation. The proof of that would be the last words he said to me.

‘It’s not that it can’t be because it’s you. It couldn’t be because it was me.’

So, do I understand his feelings now? Am I moved? Not at all. Rather, I was angry all over again. It was because I hated how he packaged not doing what I wanted as if it were for my sake.

If he doesn’t dislike me, then shouldn’t he not push me away?

If he likes me, then shouldn’t he hold on?

The conclusion that he let me go for my own sake was not a consideration or anything of the sort to me. It was just a contradiction and insincerity. If the reason for this lack of understanding is because of my age, then yes, I will gladly admit it. I was too young to understand such complicated feelings.

“In any case, you pushed me away.”

Regardless of the reason, that was the conclusion. He pushed me away. In a way that was so cruel, yet most effective.

“So I let myself be pushed away.”

It doesn’t matter whether he couldn’t hold on to me or wouldn’t. What was important was that he had no intention of sharing a future with me.

“So now we just have to live without being involved with each other. That’s why I paid back the money.”

And this was the conclusion I had reached.

💳

March, the tail end of winter and also the starting point of spring. As planned, I entered Sohye-dang and started working as a server. Luckily, there was a spot in the accommodation provided by the establishment, so I didn’t need to get a gosiwon separately.

The accommodation was less like a private studio and more like a guesthouse where several people use only beds. Because of this, it was difficult to bring in large items like a desk, so I had no choice but to move in with only the minimum amount of luggage.

The work at the establishment was simple. Just like all serving jobs, here too, all I had to do was fulfill the customers’ requests well. If there was a unique point, it was that I had to always maintain an excessively polite attitude.

The manager who trained me for two days earnestly instructed me like this.

‘It’s a cliché expression, but here, the customer is king. Therefore, making the customer feel like a king is what we have to do. Keep that in mind. In front of the customer, there is nothing that’s not allowed. There’s nothing unpleasant and nothing unfair. Always smile, no matter what you hear or see. To any question asked, the answer is unconditionally yes. Understood?’

The word was employee, but in reality, it meant to act as the customer’s servant. Having to grovel before customers was the same when I did other part-time jobs, so it didn’t feel particularly unreasonable. The only thing was that having to maintain a smiling expression all the time was a bit of an ordeal, and on the first day, I was pointed out several times for having a forced-looking smile. So, for about a week after starting work, I had to practice smiling in front of a mirror whenever I had a spare moment.

Other than that, there were no particular difficulties. Rather, it could be said to be on the easy side compared to the salary I was receiving. The problem was that the nature of the establishment, as I experienced it while working, was more decadent than I had thought. They said the establishment’s principle was to provide whatever the customer wants, and it was indeed just as they said. Here, going beyond legal things, even illegal things were unhesitatingly provided if the customer wanted them. Food, alcohol, and cigarettes were nothing. Among the items sold at the establishment were also gambling, drugs, and sex. I even heard from a colleague who shares a room with me in the dormitory that there are two secret places that can only be entered through a walking path created in the rear garden; one is a gambling den and the other is a party venue. The theme of the party was orgy.

Of course, there were also customers who came simply for a meal. They said they hired a chef who had worked for a long time at a famous hotel in Jeju Island, and from what I tasted, the food was certainly delicious. The merit as a restaurant also existed. But such customers were only a part of the whole. My feeling was about three out of ten teams? Most came to enjoy illegal services that couldn’t be enjoyed outside, including food and drink.

The ratio of the working staff was also the same. There were far more staff members who provided entertainment including sleeping together than staff like me who only served. How do I know? I could tell from the uniforms the employees wore. Employees like me who only serve wear white shirts and black dress pants, but employees who are available for sleeping arrangements all wear conspicuously fancy hanboks, like courtesans of old. Most were women, but there were a few flashy-looking men as well. The gender ratio of the customers was also similar. Men were overwhelmingly numerous, but there were some women as well.

There were two things I felt after working for exactly one week. One was that there are a lot of rich people in the world, and the other was that it would be difficult to work here for a long time. It wasn’t because it was hard. It was a bit… disgusting. The customers, who were drunk on pleasure while spending money like water, looked not like kings to my eyes, but like zombies whose insides had rotted away. The smell emanating from them also felt like a pungent stench that pierced the nose.

What I hated most of all was the sense of dissonance. It felt as if I had become too detached from the real world. The type of people who frequented this place was one thing, but the style of the building, which was not commonly seen, and the appearance of the entertainers reminiscent of old courtesans also seemed to contribute to making this place feel like another world. This unreality might be the very concept the establishment was pursuing. For instance, something like a Peach Blossom Spring. But with the common sense and ethics that are accepted in reality thoroughly excluded. Even so. Whatever the concept, the reality was nothing more than a brothel. I judged that it was right to fill my pockets just enough and leave before I became contaminated by the excessive decadence and lost my sense of reality.

Although my impression of the establishment was not good like this, there were no major problems or difficulties in working. It was bearable enough, and to a certain extent, manageable?

Yes. It had been like that so far. And I felt that as long as I did my part well, it would continue to be that way.

💳

[Three customers are entering Dohwa. Please complete the setup within 5 minutes.]

[A table is going out to Maehwa.]

[Mugunghwa is calling. Go and take their order.]

[The Yeonkkot customers are moving seats. Please guide them to the back gate.]

At 5 p.m., just as the sun was setting, Sohye-dang, which only revealed its true form then, was flooded again today with customers who poured money like water for pleasure. Two hours after opening, all twenty or so rooms in the main building were full, and the lights were also on in the three private rooms installed like separate houses in the rear garden.

Instructions came down nonstop from the earpiece in my left ear. I moved busily, going in and out of the rooms, the kitchen, and the supply room.

As always, as the night deepened, the atmosphere of pleasure vibrating inside the establishment grew thicker. The main focus of the orders, which had been food, was changing to gloomy things that included alcohol, cigarettes, and even drugs, and the polite speech of the customers became vulgar. The laughter of the female entertainers who were sticking close to the customers and serving them drinks also changed one by one into moans. Some customers left the main building and moved with the entertainers to a secret space in the rear garden that I did not know about.

Even though it had already been two weeks since I started working, fatigue quickly built up from the excessively worldly scenery that I just couldn’t get used to. What’s more, I even felt nauseous because I had accidentally mistaken a room and went in to clean it, only to witness with my own eyes the scene of a customer high on drugs having sex with an entertainer without even laying out the bedding.

The barrage of instructions gradually became less frequent starting at midnight. It was thanks to the fact that many customers had either gone home or gone to bed. Only then could I also catch my breath a little.

“Haaah…”

Finally, at 1 a.m., I requested a break and went out to the garden for some fresh air.

The night air was still chilly as the energy of winter had not yet completely faded. That’s why it was good. The cold was quite effective in cooling my head, which had become cloudy with the gloomy atmosphere and the fishy stench.

There was no suitable place to sit, so I squatted on the ground and looked up at the sky. But perhaps because of the moon in the sky, or perhaps because of my squatting posture, an old memory suddenly came to mind. The time I had recklessly gone to Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s house. It was like this back then too. I had squatted on the ground like this, spacing out. Hurt by his cold treatment. And because I couldn’t let go of the vain hope that he might catch me, even if belatedly.

“…It’s already been almost a year.”

Thinking about it, it was true. That was last May, and now it was March of the new year. Ten months had passed. It felt like something that had happened just a few days ago…

But didn’t they say for sure that time is a healer? If that were true, then the memory should have faded by now and the pain should have become dull. But it hadn’t. The memory was still vivid, and my heart still ached.

What if I can’t forget this for the rest of my life?

I laughed self-deprecatingly with a smirk.

It was then.

[Haejin-ssi, where are you?]

The manager’s voice came through the earpiece I hadn’t taken out yet. I shot up and responded into the walkie-talkie I had on my waist.

“Ah, I requested a break and was in the garden.”

[You were? Sorry, but a customer from the Dohwa room is about to leave. Go to the front of the door and stand by. The shoe locker number is 11.]

Even during break time, when they were short-staffed, they would sometimes give instructions like this. This was why I couldn’t take my earpiece out until I left work.

“Yes. Understood.”

Honestly, I was annoyed on the inside, but it wasn’t a situation where I could refuse by saying I didn’t want to. One of the things I had learned while earning money was the reality that the break time on the contract was not actually guaranteed. This place was no different.

I returned to the main building and stood by in front of the Dohwa room door as instructed. But no matter how long I waited, there was no sign of anyone coming out from inside. On the contrary, the sound of conversation I could faintly hear just kept dragging on endlessly.

“What is this. He said he was coming out soon…”

Muttering, I leaned my head towards the door. Then the mumbling conversation became a little clearer.

“…so Seok… is completely out of the picture, and the snake bastard ate it all, is that it?”

“According to Section Chief Shin, that’s what he said.”

“Huh, but wasn’t Seok-ga’s luck good? Why did he suddenly get taken down? Did he do something to piss off the boss? The boss there now is Jang, right? No. Did he retire?”

“Not yet. I don’t know if Seok-ga pissed him off, but the rumor that Jang-ga was openly backing the snake bastard was widespread. The Zainichi kids also gave off a strong vibe that they couldn’t even say a word about Representative Seok.”

Seok-ga? Jang-ga? Snake bastard?

…For some reason, they were nicknames that felt familiar. In an instant, all my senses focused on my ears. Thanks to that, the shape of the sound became even clearer.

“But that bastard has been quiet for a while, hasn’t he? Section Chief Shin also bitched that Baek-ga was hard to handle because he had no ambition. A bastard like that wouldn’t have just started a sword dance for no reason… What on earth is the story?”

“I don’t know that far. Anyway, I’m telling you to be careful. All the bastards who stuck with Seok-ga have had a string of funerals. They say the smell of rotting flesh is just vibrating in the waters off Incheon. The fish caught there are also so plump and delicious because they ate the flesh, they say?”

“Fuck. I’m so scared I could piss myself. I invested a bit in that…”

“Where and how much?”

“Two big ones in the house.”

“You’re fucked.”

“That’s what I’m saying. Only Section Chief Shin hit the jackpot. Someone’s about to go broke. Ah, whatever, I’m going home to sleep.”

“Ah, come on, stay and play a little longer. Why are you playing so hard to get today?”

“I was always expensive, you old man.”

“That’s why I deliberately brought you here. You said the kids here are your type.”

“Right. But somehow the alcohol is so-so, and the kids are so-so, so it’s just not tasting good today. You go ahead and enjoy yourself, Prosecutor Kim.”

“It’s been a while since we met, you’re being disappointing. I even gave you information, and you’re doing this?”

“Aigoo, what to do, I’m so sorry. Instead, let’s play golf together next time. What was it, that place in Gangwon-do with the hot springs. The kids there are tasty too. For dicks, that place is better than here. Got it? I’m leaving.”

Finally, the voices stopped. Following that, I heard the rustle of movement. I quickly came to my senses and straightened my tilted head. And just as I was about to take a step back, the door opened and a customer came out from inside.

“Ugh, shit! What the!”

The customer’s body, startled by the near collision, staggered. It happened because of my mistake, so I quickly reached out and grabbed the customer’s arm. Fortunately, the unfortunate incident of the customer falling backward did not occur.

“This motherfucker…!”

“I’m sorry.”

I quickly bowed my head and apologized. In response, the customer, who was about to let out a string of curses, just clicked his tongue.

“Forget it, forget it. Just guide me.”

As if it was too much trouble to pick a fight, the customer waved his hand. I raised my bowed head, made eye contact with the customer, and replied politely.

“Yes, I will escort you to the main gate.”

However, the customer, upon seeing my face properly, began to openly look me up and down. After bringing his gaze, which had dropped to my feet, back to my face, he even added a blatant comment, showing a sense of interest.

“What’s this. Why do you look so fresh? Are you new?”

New merchandise… Being treated like an object, I couldn’t help but feel bad.

By the way, should I answer? I was hesitating, confused, when the entertainer who had been serving inside came out and gave the customer an answer instead.

“He’s a kid who hasn’t been here long. But he’s not on our side.”

Hmph. The customer made a strange sound of interest and stared at my face again. At the incredibly burdensome gaze, I surreptitiously lowered my eyes. Since I couldn’t tell him not to look, I had no choice but to avoid it myself.

“Then, watch your step, President Jeong. Hey, hurry up and escort him.”

The entertainer gave me a look. I nodded and quickly turned my body, intending to walk ahead. But before I could even take a step, my shoulder suddenly became heavy. What is this, I thought, and lowered my gaze to check. I saw a hand that had come down to my chest. That is to say, the customer had put his arm around my shoulder.

My body, startled by the sudden contact, stiffened.

“What are you doing? You have to take me.”

The customer taunted me in a thuggish tone as I stood still. He didn’t seem to have any intention of removing his arm.

“…Yes.”

I had no choice but to start walking with his arm around my shoulder.

The hand on my shoulder did not leave as we walked from the main building to the main gate. The discomfort grew with the unnecessarily close distance. I would have understood if he were so drunk that he couldn’t even control his own body. But no matter how I looked at it, he was not in a state that required support. In other words, he was doing this on purpose. It was a relief that there was no more skinship than the arm around my shoulder.

After about 10 minutes, we finally reached the main gate. A taxi, which the establishment would have called in advance, was waiting outside the gate. As I approached and opened the back door for him, the arm on my shoulder finally came off. I let out a sigh of relief inwardly.

“Have a safe trip…”

I was in the middle of bowing my head to greet the customer who had gotten into the back seat.

“Here.”

A yellow bill suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.

What is this? I was blinking my eyes, dumbfounded, when the customer added.

“What are you just standing there looking at? Hurry up and take it. It’s because I thought a young kid is working so hard so late.”

Ah, a tip.

Only then did I realize the intention of the bill and reached out my hand to receive it.

“Thank you.”

As I bowed my head and expressed my gratitude, the customer clicked his tongue.

“Just by looking, you probably haven’t even shed your baby fluff yet, how did you end up rolling into a place like this. You know, if I had married my first love, I’d have a kid your age by now. But my kid is working in a place like this? Aigoo, I’d fall apart. My heart would shatter.”

His physique was quite sturdy, so I had thought he was young at a glance, but looking closely, his face looked quite old. It was plausible that he would have had a child my age if he had married early. Anyway, I had experienced this level of nagging quite often while working, so I didn’t feel newly offended or anything.

The problem was…

“Anyway, since you came here to earn money, try to work hard. If you’re going to do it, do it properly, huh? So what I’m saying is, next time, try wearing something pretty. So I can stick it in your ass.”

…that the added words were excessively dirty. So much so that the tip in my hand felt like filth.

Without replying, I quickly closed the car door. Soon the taxi departed. The impure interest also moved away. …But I knew instinctively. That that interest would return.

Standing stiffly, I watched the back of the taxi disappear into the darkness and then washed my dry face with one hand.

A sigh escaped. I felt that I had gotten tangled up with the wrong person.

It couldn’t have just been a feeling.

‘But wasn’t Seok-ga’s luck good?’

‘The rumor that Jang-ga was openly backing the snake bastard was widespread.’

‘The Zainichi kids also gave off a strong vibe that they couldn’t even say a word about Representative Seok.’

The conversation I had unintentionally overheard kept circling in my head all through the dawn. Perhaps because of that, I couldn’t sleep even though I was tired. It was quite frequent to unintentionally overhear customers’ conversations while working. But I had never chewed on them like this, having always let them all flow past without paying attention, so it was truly strange.