BCRD 20

I could feel my inner walls tightly biting down on the joints of his finger as if to sever them. Perhaps because there was no moisture, it stung so much every time it tightened. In this state, I couldn’t properly receive even one of his fingers, let alone his penis. He seemed to have made a similar judgment and clicked his tongue, tsk.

Eventually, the finger pulled back out. Before I could even feel relieved at that,

“Euung!”

He grabbed my knees and spread them, then buried his face in my crotch.

I felt his lips bite down on the flesh of the opening all at once and suck it in deeply.

“Aahh……!”

A shock incomparable to when his finger had touched me shot through me. It was a shock inflicted not on my body, but on my mind. No matter how much it allowed for insertion, it was an organ whose primary purpose was excretion. An organ that was perhaps the most unhygienic, his lips and tongue were literally devouring it without restraint. It was an excessively lewd act.

The funny thing was, I didn’t hate it. On the contrary, a sexual sensation more intense than when my penis was touched襲來 my entire body.

“Heuung……. Ah, haaah……!”

I clutched the hair of him who was sucking my nether regions like a hungry beast. At that, the hot, soft thing felt even more intense. It was his tongue. The moment I realized it, I felt like I was going to go crazy. Just like before, my thighs clenched tightly on their own, trapping his head.

“Aheut, eugh……! Mister, aah!”

Every time his tongue licked the entrance and showed signs of trying to dig inside, the sexual sensation soared without limits. I couldn’t take it anymore and struggled. But my thrashing movements, contrary to my intention, only resulted in the opening being rubbed more intensely against his lips.

“Ah, aah! It’s, coming out……. It’s coming out……!”

My penis, which had become stiff in the meantime, trembled violently. It was on the verge of ejaculating. But the feeling was somehow different from before. This time, it really felt like something other than semen was going to pour out.

“Mister! Mister……! Ah! Ah! Augh! Hah!”

My mind went blank for a moment along with a dizzying sensation that shot down like anemia. At the same time, I once again ejaculated on my own. What I had suspected was indeed the case. It was not semen. A clear water, without viscosity or color, trickled out. As if wetting myself, I poured it out powerlessly.

Only then did he lift his face from my crotch and blatantly watch my penis as it spurted water. Overcome with an indescribable sense of shame, I trembled and crossed my arms to cover my face.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the shame did not last long.

“Ah!”

It was thanks to the foreign sensation of a finger digging into the damp opening again.

Kkuljjeok, making an obscene sound, the finger that had dug in felt like it was thrusting inside more smoothly than before. The fingers probing inside quickly multiplied. This time, for the sake of insertion, he relentlessly probed my inner walls.

The movement of his hand gradually grew larger.

“Ah, aah! Ah!”

Cheolpeok, cheolpeok, making wet sounds, his fingers pried open my hole. Every time the entrance stretched and I felt the inner flesh being pulled out, my toes tingled. I could clearly feel that the hole, which had struggled with even one finger, was steadily being transformed into an organ that receives a man’s dick. I closed my eyes and arduously endured the intense pain that occurred during the process of change.

“Ah, aeuk, heut, euut! Eung!”

Strangely, my body soon began to discern a strange pleasure from the unfamiliar foreign sensation. It happened every time the tip of his finger pressed a certain part. I instinctively bucked my hips, chasing the pleasure. A light laugh followed. He had realized what my gesture meant, what I wanted.

“Ah! Ah!”

His thick, long fingers jabbed a specific area repeatedly. My penis stood erect, and the glans once again dribbled water. There was no pain. It seemed to have been eaten away by the pleasure that had swelled in size after feeding on the stimulation.

Just before the rising urge to ejaculate reached its peak, his finger pulled out. Groaning in disappointment, I removed the arm covering my face and lifted my head. Then I saw him pulling down his pants.

Soon, his penis was starkly revealed. Not just the outline, but the shape, and even the veins that stood out vividly on the foreskin. It looked like a weapon that tears a person’s body rather than a bodily organ, both then and now.

Suddenly, a wave of fear washed over me. The memory of the pain from when that penis, stretching straight above the thick pubic hair, dug inside surfaced.

“Eugh…….”

Just like that time, I shook my head in fear again. I can’t do it, there’s no way something like that will go in, I openly showed my rejection. Even though I knew it would not work this time.

He caressed his erect penis and dropped his gaze to my open hole. As expected, he was determined to put it in.

Thinking I couldn’t let it happen, I placed my elbows on the floor and raised my upper body. And I moved my body back. However, this was nothing more than a futile attempt.

“Ah!”

His hands grabbed both my ankles and instead pulled me further down. My hole stuck fast to his stone-hard testicles. My inner walls, sensing the impending insertion, contracted tightly in fear.

“I-I don’t want to. I can’t. It, it won’t go in…….”

It hurt severely even when it came in just a little. But what if it all came in? My flesh might tear. No, it seemed like it had to tear for it to be able to enter.

“Mister, please……. I, I can’t do it……. To-today……!”

“Today, I have no intention of letting you off.”

“N-next time……. No, tomorrow! Can’t we do it tomorrow?”

“What won’t work today will work tomorrow? What’s the difference.”

“P-preparation. I need to prepare more……!”

Haha. He laughed out loud. It was a sneer for anyone to see.

“Didn’t you come in all prepared to sell your body?”

“……!”

“Am I wrong?”

I couldn’t…… bring myself to say he was wrong.

Instead, I whimpered and pleaded.

“Still…… still…….”

“The point where you could stop is long past. It’s either you sell to me or you get raped. You choose. As always, I’ll respect your choice.”

The notice delivered in a calm tone was viciously base. Rape. The word alone was a wound. It meant he was capable of doing such a thing to me.

It’s too much.

How can he be so cruel?

Saddened by his whip-like words, I finally burst into tears. He, who had been staring at me quietly for a moment, wiped my eyes with his finger. It was an indifferent touch, as if he was wiping it away because he did not want to see it, not to comfort me.

“Relax your muscles. I don’t want to hurt you either.”

He, who did not back down in the slightest even though I was this scared, even though I was crying so sorrowfully, was unfamiliar. He was different from the old Mr. Baek Sahyeon who would obediently retreat at my pushing force. The leisure and consideration he had shown me did not exist in him now. Was that why? The man in front of me felt terribly distant.

As I realized I could not escape no matter what I did, resignation washed over me. If I had no choice but to accept it, enduring was the best option. Prostitution was still better than rape.

I covered my face with both hands and let out a long breath. The tension in my body was carried out on the breath. Thanks to that, my body became much more relaxed.

He put his hands behind my knees and pushed my legs up. The cold air touched my exposed hole. His wet palm rubbed my sensitive hole deeply and then slapped it lightly. As if telling me to get ready to take his dick.

Soon, a lump of flesh, with a texture different from a finger, was rubbed against the hole. The frightened hole squirmed. Something wet fell on top of it. It seemed like saliva.

Tuk, tuk, the heat-infused flesh tapped the hole a few times and then pushed its way inside.

“Aah!”

I quickly lowered my hands and tore at the blanket.

The hole stretched to its limit. His penis entered the tightly opened inside. Slowly, yet persistently.

It hurt. It was not just painful, it was as if my body was being split in half. I could not even breathe properly.

“Ut!”

I clenched my teeth.

In contrast to me who was swallowing my sounds, he poured out a moan filled with ecstasy between my thighs.

“Haah……!”

The penis, which had been slowly digging in, finally succeeded in burying its glans. Of course, it was not the end, but the beginning.

“Aack!”

The penis thrust deep without warning. I let out a scream, my eyes widening. It was not a moan, but a scream. The cruel weapon that had pierced through without warning or consideration felt like it was tearing my insides to shreds.

“Heuk, euk……! Eugh……!”

Fortunately, he did not move right away and waited until my inner walls adjusted to his penis.

“It, it hurts, it hurts……. Heu……. It hurts so, eut, much…….”

I sobbed and complained of the pain. But the penis embedded inside neither retreated nor grew smaller. I had no choice but to wait. For the pain to subside.

“Haeu……. Heut, aah…….”

But no matter how much time passed, it did not get better. I was scared. That it would continue to hurt like this. No, that it would hurt more. And so, I ended up sobbing.

Tsk, he clicked his tongue and suddenly pressed my lower jaw with his thumb. My mouth opened on its own, and his tongue gently pushed its way in. Unlike before when it had violently churned, this time it felt like it was gently caressing the inside. He was guiding me to focus on the kiss.

I released the hand that had been gripping the blanket and wrapped my arms around his neck. He licked me all over and at the same time changed angles, creating just enough room for me to breathe. In that way, he gently caressed the inside of my mouth.

“Euung…….”

My body, intoxicated by the gentle pleasure, slowly relaxed. My tongue went limp and my legs gave way. The hole, which had been tightly biting the pulsating flesh, also loosened a little. Not missing this, he once again slowly pushed his penis in. Unavoidably, pain came along with it, but it definitely felt more manageable. Before it felt like I was being impaled, but now it was closer to a sensation of being sucked in.

He traced the hole where his penis was with his finger. The hole, which had become as sensitive as it could be, reacted sensitively and contracted once more. At the even stronger pressure, I bit his lip without realizing it.

“Ut.”

He let out a short moan and frowned. And yet, he did not pull his lips away.

“Eu, heut!”

He began to thrust his lower body while keeping his lips locked with mine. Every time my inner walls were scraped by the glans, a hollow breath rose up my throat. It felt as if a lump of iron, not flesh, was pressing down hard on my stomach.

Gradually, strength entered my buttocks.

Soon, he pulled his lips away and warned me.

“Relax your muscles. If you don’t want to get torn.”

Wasn’t I already torn? Something this big came in, and my hole is fine? That seemed to make even less sense.

“I ca-can’t pull……. Heueu, I can’t pull it out…….”

“Do you want to see your insides come spilling out?”

It was a chilling thing to say. I shuddered and forced a long breath. But it was no use. The hole stubbornly bit at his penis.

Did he think it was not working? Suddenly, he pulled his penis out completely.

“Euut!”

A shock as strong as when it had entered vibrated in my lower body. My whole body flinched as if I had been struck by lightning, and I even began to feel a hollowness below.

While I was panting powerlessly, unable to even close my legs, he went to the adjacent section and came back holding the liquor bottle that was on the table. He emptied the liquor in the bottle into his mouth, then pressed his lips to mine. Soon, a pungent liquid flowed into my mouth. It seemed he intended to bring back the intoxication that had flown away. This time too, I did not refuse and drank it all.

The intoxication quickly rose, and my senses grew dull. Not just my head, but my hole too seemed to be drunk as the strength drained from my lower body. He, who noticed this, thrust his penis in without warning.

“Ut!”

This time, all the way to the root in one go.

“Aah…….”

Was it thanks to the intoxication? Strangely, it did not hurt that much.

Kkuljjeok, making a strange sound, his penis rubbed deeply against my inner walls. I could also feel that my hole was softer than before. The problem was that because of that, his penis thrust in even deeper.

“Aeung, eung, euung, eung. Aeut……!”

My inner walls, which had begun to open, kneaded his penis and sucked it deeper inside. As if it had become another penis, one that takes a man’s dick.

He gradually increased his speed and strength. Thwack, thwack, thwack! The sound of flesh hitting flesh quickly grew more violent. It was a violent noise rather than an obscene one.

“Ut! Euut! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!”

At the shock that continuously rose from below, I scratched his arm wildly. Even when drunk, my senses did not disappear completely. They just dulled a little. But because they were dulled, I could endure it.

“Ut……. Hah……. Aah…….”

He let out a faint moan and pushed his lower body relentlessly. Every time he did, the muscles in his jaw bulged fiercely. That was how much force he was putting into his thrusts. But it felt like his penis was swelling even more every time it dug inside. I was starting to get scared. I was afraid it might burst inside me.

“Haah……. Haejin…….”

He called my name in an excited voice and sucked on my earlobe. A hot breath rushed into my ear. I had never heard such a lewd sound before.

“Actually, ut, I wanted to do this for a long time. From when you, haah, not knowing anything, babbled that you could do… anything with me……!”

He said something. But it did not reach my brain. It was because I was completely dominated by the sexual sensation, and there was no room for it to squeeze in.

“No.”

“Ut!”

“Much, longer before that……!”

“Ah, aah! Ah! Ah! Ah!”

Every time the flesh plunged deep, a single moan burst out. It felt like the glans was concentrating its strikes on the same spot. That spot which had been relentlessly pressed by his finger earlier, which had brought on a terrifyingly fierce sexual sensation. I could tell instinctively. That that was the prostate.

“Whenever I had the chance, I kept thinking about, euk……! Shoving my dick, into your hole like this.”

The sensation, which should now be called pleasure instead of pain, whipped my entire body. His inconsiderate hip movements were rough and savage. He was really punishing me. And yet, my inner walls slickly sucked on his penis.

“But you dare, to sell, this, to another bastard? Huh?”

Unbeknownst to me, physiological tears had pooled thickly, blurring my vision. My mind also began to grow distant.

“Did you think that would be possible?”

None of his words reached my brain. I just shed tears endlessly and shook powerlessly.

“You were at a level where you could think such a thing?”

In an instant, our lower bodies perfectly interlocked, and his glans pressed down on my prostate as if to tear it apart.

“……!”

The intense stimulation prevented even a proper moan from coming out. I flailed like a drowning person and choked. The fingertips, filled with tension, clawed at his arm, and my toes repeated fanning out and curling in.

“Haah……. Fuck…….”

Moisture spread on his arm, which I could feel with my fingertips. His forehead was also already drenched in sweat. After that, every time our lower bodies perfectly interlocked, a bodily fluid, whether it was the semen I had ejaculated or sweat, I could not tell, splattered with a wet sound.

“Ah! Aah! Ah! Aeung! At!”

Cheolpeok, cheolpeok, obscene sounds burst out nonstop from the junction that was becoming thoroughly soaked.

He, who had eaten his fill of my earlobe, next began to suck on my chest. Every time my nipple was sucked and bitten, my lower parts instinctively tightened. In tune with that, he thrust his hips strongly in succession. It felt as if my upper and lower body were being devoured by him at the same time.

“Aheut! Heut! Euk! Eu! Aeu! Ah!”

My penis was pressed against his lower abdomen as he bent his upper body. Every time he thrusted his lower body, my penis was rubbed against his hard skin, and a strange stimulation shot through me. My penis, which had swallowed the excitement, soon pleaded for ejaculation.

I wanted to cum. I wanted to excrete quickly. But the stimulation was not enough. Just being rubbed against his lower abdomen was not enough.

I raised my arms, wrapped them around his neck, and pleaded.

“Ah, Mister, Mister……. Mister……! Aeu, to-touch, touch me……. Down, down there……!”

He, who had been chewing on my nipple, straightened his back and grabbed my penis. As his hand touched my extremely sensitive skin, my lower body flinched on its own. At the same time, my hole contracted and bit down on his even tighter.

“Ut!”

He frowned, as if feeling the pressure. Then he taunted me.

“Haah……. You were making a fuss about it hurting…….”

His thumb rounded the tip and then firmly blocked the urethra.

“It’s not time to finish yet. Endure it.”

My penis, which had failed to excrete, swelled, and the pain hit me directly. I thrashed and whimpered that I did not want to.

“Ah, let go……! Let go……! Let go!”

Thwack! He ignored my plea and thrust his penis deep enough to crush my testicles. Instead of the semen that could not come out because it was blocked, tears poured out. While forcefully blocking my ejaculation, he enjoyed the texture of my sticky inner walls to his heart’s content.

My whole body convulsed at the terribly sadistic act. Every part of my body that was in contact with him suffered from a sharp pain as if cut by a razor blade.

“Let, let me go……. Mister, heuk, please……. I was, wrong…….”

In the end, I sobbed and begged. My swollen penis hurt so much, it was so painful, that I had no choice but to let go of everything and beg.

“What did you do wrong.”

He asked.

“Everything, heueu! Everything, all of it……!”

At this point, it felt like all this pain was my fault. No, it was my fault. If I had not had that ridiculous thought of paying with my body, he would not be treating me like this.

“Mister……. I’m, so, hurt, it hurts……. Heu-eong……!”

Eventually, I cried my eyes out like a child who had been hit on the calves with a switch.

“I said it hurts……!”

The plea that burst out from the overwhelming sorrow was fortunately effective.

“Shh. Stop crying. I’ll let you go.”

He caressed my earlobe with his lips and whispered. It was not an empty promise. He really let go of my penis. He even pulled his dick out from below.

“Heuah……!”

Goosebumps rose all over my body at the feeling of my insides being completely pulled out. It felt as if my intestines had been pulled out, just as he had threatened earlier.

I lay sprawled out like a dying beast and panted. I could not lift a single finger. I was on the verge of fainting right then and there.

But suddenly, my body was flipped over. After making me lie on my stomach, he wrapped his arm around my lower abdomen and forced my upper body up. My knees touched the floor, and I could feel his hard chest behind my back. Before I could even register the change in position, pook! my body sank and his penis was꽂혔다.

“……!”

My mouth fell open at the penis that was embedded incomparably deeper than ever before. It felt as if my pushed-up intestines had reached my heart. I trembled and let out a silent scream.

He pressed my waist with his right arm, and with his left hand, he held my penis, and he circled his hips and licked my back with his tongue.

“Haejin……. Hah……!”

“Eugh, heut……!”

The lump of flesh ravaged my inner walls without restraint. The prostate, which wrung out intense pleasure, was mercilessly crushed. Then, at some point, the glans reached an unbelievably deep place. My ears went deaf and my mind went blank. I had no clue what to call this sensation that struck my entire body so hard that it even stopped my breathing.

The deeply embedded penis twitched. I felt it with chilling vividness. Soon, his short groan rushed into my ears, and something hot exploded inside. The same went for my penis. Semen and a watery liquid spurted out all at once.

Even while ejaculating, he moved his hips, continuously thrusting inside. Every time the glans was buried in my soft inner walls, I could feel my penis gushing out semen. His semen, which had filled my stomach, soon seeped through the slightly loosened gap of our junction and pooled below.

The eruption lasted a long time. Both his and mine, for a bizarrely long time, poured out a large amount of bodily fluids.

After taking a long time to pour it all out, an enormous sense of exhaustion襲來. I dropped my head powerlessly. What entered my vision was darkness.

“Haejin.”

He called me, as if to tell me to get a grip. I did not react. No, I could not. At that, he placed his palm on my forehead and made me tilt my head back. Thud, my head touched his shoulder with a sound.

But this was as far as it went. My eyes would not open. I did not want to open them either. Because I could not endure it any longer.

“Haejin…….”

I deliberately ignored his call.

If I could not endure it, I had to run away. Even if it was into my subconscious.

💳

I do not know when I lost consciousness.

I do not know how long I was submerged in unconsciousness either.

“…….”

I stared blankly at the ceiling, which felt as distant as the sky. My eyes were open, but my head was terribly dazed. It seemed my deeply submerged consciousness had not yet returned to its place. I was at a point where I was confused whether I was really awake from sleep or dreaming with my eyes open.

The surroundings were dark. However, a faint ray of light seeping through the ceiling told me that it was not night.

By the way, where am I?

A belated question arose.

First of all, it was not a room at the establishment. It was certainly not the dorm either. Not just the ceiling, but the unfamiliarity of the plush sensation I felt behind my back was proof.

The question arose, but I did not feel the motivation to resolve it. It was because of the deep sense of fatigue that had settled over my entire body. Especially, my body was as heavy as a lead weight, so I did not dare to move.

For a long while, I just slowly blinked my eyes in a state of nothingness. Annoyingly, I had no motivation to move, but I started to feel the urge to urinate. I held on, just thinking that I had to go to the bathroom, and only when I reached my limit did I finally, with great difficulty, get up.

“Ah!”

A scream burst out of me as soon as I moved. Even though I had only slightly lifted my upper body, an intense pain my entire body. It was similar to the aftereffects I had experienced after being beaten black and blue by my hyung for the first time when I was young.

If I had my way, I would have just lain back down, but as a decent human being, I could not just pee anywhere. So, groaning, I barely managed to get off the bed.

It was then. Beolkeok, the door opened, and along with the bright light, a familiar voice rushed in.

“You’re up.”

I felt like I already knew who it was from the voice. When I looked towards the door, sure enough, I saw Hyung-nim Hyunki.

Hyung-nim, who had been looking at me as if observing me for a moment, gestured with his chin and said.

“Come out.”

“Here.”

A freshly heated porridge was placed in front of me. At a glance, I could see that it contained beef and even abalone. No matter how I looked at it, there was no way hyung-nim had cooked it himself; it seemed he had bought it from somewhere.

“Eat up.”

“Tha…… keuheum!“

I was about to say thank you, but my throat suddenly choked up and I let out a dry cough. My trachea was so scratchy, as if I had swallowed finely crushed glass shards. It seemed to be swollen. My eyes, which I had seen in the bathroom mirror earlier, were also puffy……. That was the least of it. Other places were more serious. My legs trembled like a newborn animal’s, my back ached as if it would break, and my skin was full of red bruises and bite marks. Perhaps naturally, the most serious place was between my thighs. My perineum throbbed continuously as if being pricked with a needle, and my hole ached as if it would fall out. The vicious marks left on my body like this, in place of my blurred memories, were telling me how arduous my night with him had been.

“Thank you…….”

After expressing my gratitude to Hyung-nim Hyunki with a hoarse voice, I took a spoonful of porridge. Fortunately, my tongue seemed to be normal as it tasted good. The only problem was that it stung every time I swallowed because of my swollen throat, but I did not feel like I wanted to stop eating. On the contrary, I was just frustrated that I could not swallow faster. I did not know, but I must have been hungry.

Hyung-nim Hyunki just watched me eat the porridge slowly with his arms folded. It was a silence that I found welcome. My throat was in no condition to have a conversation, and considering the state I had shown at the establishment… it did not seem like anything good would come out of hyung-nim’s mouth.

But this silence would not last forever.

“Haejin.”

It was as expected.

Unable to hold it in any longer, hyung-nim began to speak.

I paused, about to bring the spoonful of porridge to my mouth. I did not answer. I did not lift my downcast gaze either. It was my way of indirectly showing that I did not want to have a conversation.

Unfortunately, Hyung-nim Hyunki did not respect my wishes.

“Why’d you do that.”

There was no need to ask, ‘Do what?’ There was no need to wonder, ‘What?’ I could fully understand what the omitted subject was.

“I told you, didn’t I. To just live an ordinary life. That way, you’d be able to get by without any trouble.”

I remembered the last words I had heard from Hyung-nim Hyunki last winter, when he had called me out to pay back the money.

‘Haejin, just live an ordinary life. Like other boys your age, study, work, and play, live an ordinary life, okay? If you just live like that, nothing will happen.’

“Did you not understand what that meant.”

……No. It was not that I did not understand, I just did not pay attention.

“You’re in hyung-nim’s palm. Hyung-nim knows everything about what you’re doing and where you’re doing it, you hear me. There’s no need to intentionally go digging. From the moment you leave the house, all the reports automatically go up. So don’t do anything stupid and live cautiously. Did I really have to spell it out for you like this.”

To be honest, I had not thought that Mr. Baek Sahyeon was continuously watching me. Because even before our relationship soured, he had given me advice, but he had never directly interfered in my life. On the contrary, I had even been secretly disappointed at times, thinking he was too indifferent to me. Because he was that kind of person, I thought he would have naturally lost interest in me after our relationship ended. Hadn’t he been silent even when I took a leave of absence from school without permission? That seemed to be the proof of his indifference. That was why I had failed to grasp the warning contained in Hyung-nim Hyunki’s request.

“Tell me. Did you really not know? Don’t tell me you did it even though you knew? Did you do it on purpose to fuck hyung-nim over?”

No, I shook my head. It was absolutely not a choice I had made because I wanted to fuck Mr. Baek Sahyeon over.

“If not, then what? Explain what on earth was going through your head.”

I was not confident I could… explain. To be precise, I was not confident I could make Hyung-nim Hyunki understand.

“You stupid bastard! What kind of place was that for you to go in there and cause such a mess!”

Tang! Frustrated by the continuing silence, hyung-nim slammed the table and shouted. I flinched at the thunderous roar. That was not all. Heat rose to my eyes and tears fell.

I did not mind other people, but hyung-nim was always kind to me. He was a person who had even taken my side despite being Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s close associate. When such a person was angry like a blazing fire, I could not help but feel scared and sad.

“Let’s say, giving you a hundred concessions, you didn’t call hyung-nim. Then what about me? Did you not think of me?”

I did. I did, but because of the strong perception that Hyung-nim Hyunki was closer to Mr. Baek Sahyeon than to me, I ended up ignoring that option as well.

“Was asking me to lend you money harder than taking some random guy’s dick. Did selling your body seem easy because you worked in a place like that. Does that…! Does that even make sense.”

I did not think it would be easy. But I thought I could do it. I tried to justify it to myself, thinking it was just a matter of getting covered in filth a few times, that what gets dirty can be washed. But I was wrong. It was a foolish thought. It was a more horrifying act than I had imagined. Prostitution was not simply about the body getting dirty, it was an act that inflicted irreversible, fatal damage on one’s character. I realized that only after it happened.

“When I found out you went in there, I was going to drag you out immediately. But hyung-nim said to leave you be. Why do you think he did that? It’s because he trusted you. Ah, he probably went in because he didn’t know. If he knew what kind of place it was, he’d come out. If the sense in your head is normal! If it’s properly screwed on! He’d quit on his own. That’s what he thought and left you be. But what did you do? You didn’t come to your senses and kept making a fuss there, didn’t you? Not for one or two days, but for several days!”

“…….”

“It’s the same with the settlement money. Taking down a fucking psycho like President Jeong? Man! It’s nothing! Haejin, you half-wit! A truckload of bastards have been taken out by hyung-nim’s hands because of you. Not one, but a truckload! It’s all because of you that the top dogs in this business were dismembered and thrown into concrete! The number of bastards who died by my hands alone is more than ten fingers can count!”

“…….”

“A person who had made such a fuss held back once, even after finding out about the President Jeong incident. He held back, and even deliberately created a situation where you could resolve it with settlement money. But you! Huh? What were you thinking, doing such a thing…! Fuck, what kind of mindset did you have to walk in there on your own two feet!”

Tuk, tuk, tuk…….

Tears fell nonstop. The more I heard the full story that Hyung-nim Hyunki was telling me, the more I keenly felt how pathetic my choice had been. Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s test was, in fact, an opportunity for me. But I did not know it was an opportunity. Because I did not know, I had pushed myself into the worst pit.

There was still more to say, but as if his words were being blocked by my tears, hyung-nim opened and closed his mouth several times. Then he scratched his head roughly and let out a deep sigh. It was a sigh in which pity, annoyance, and frustration towards me were intricately intertwined.

“Sorry. They say you shouldn’t even bother a dog when it’s eating, but I was so frustrated……. Let’s stop for today. Finish your food and get some rest.”

The voice he finally brought out was much softer. Hyung-nim Hyunki, who had one-sidedly started the conversation, one-sidedly ended it again and got up from his seat. And before turning his back to me, as if he remembered something, he said, ah, and added.

“You’ve figured out where you are, right?”

Of course I did. I recognized it as soon as I came out of the bedroom. That it was Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s house.

To me who nodded, hyung-nim bluntly informed me of my situation.

“If you know, then behave yourself. Just because the door is open doesn’t mean you can leave. Got it?”

It meant that I was trapped.

In the end, I could not finish the porridge. After putting the half-eaten porridge in the refrigerator, I stood there blankly in front of it and then returned to the bedroom. Since there was nothing to do and nothing I wanted to do, my plan was to just lie down and sleep.

But before lying down, I found something on the bedside table. One of the two familiar objects was my cellphone, and the other was a card. A credit card in his name. Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s black card, which I had returned through Hyung-nim Hyunki.

The card, displayed as if for me to see, was his message. That this was the payment for my services, and that the sex we had was prostitution.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I looked down at the card that had returned as payment and muttered.

“Wow……. I’ve really become a rent boy.”

A small laugh escaped.

It was a sneer at my foolish self.

💳

The relationship with Mr. Baek Sahyeon left behind major aftereffects.

On the first day, after eating only the porridge Hyung-nim Hyunki had bought me, I slept all day like a sick chicken. My abused hole was swollen and stung with the slightest pressure, and my throat ached like it was being scratched by gravel every time I swallowed. In the middle of the night, it seemed I had quite a fever, but when I woke up, an IV was attached. It seemed he had taken measures while I was sick and out of it.

On the second day, I was able to move around. But because the fever did not go down easily, I could not get out of bed. On this day, not Hyung-nim Hyunki, but an old woman I had never seen before came and took care of my meals and medicine.

By the third day, my body had almost returned to normal. The swelling of my hole and the bruises left on my skin had not healed, but at least there was no problem with my movements. But… there was nothing to do. Leaving aside the awkwardness of being in someone else’s house, I did not feel like I wanted to do anything, or that I had to do anything. No, I just did not want to think at all. Because if I thought, I kept going back to that day… that is, to the time when I sold my body to Mr. Baek Sahyeon. To me, it was not a memory or anything, just a nightmare. When I thought about it, my body and mind just ached. So, to forcibly empty my mind, I crouched on the living room sofa and just watched TV.

And it was on this night that I was finally able to face Mr. Baek Sahyeon again.

My submerged consciousness floated to the surface at the faint noise that brushed past my ears. I opened my eyes and stared blankly at the ceiling for a while, when a different type of noise, louder than before, was heard. Before it sounded like a keypad, and now it was closer to the sound of the front door.

It’s him.

I did not know what time it was, but it was midnight when I had gone to bed. Since it was still dark, it must be dawn. The only person who could open the front door and enter this house at this late hour was the owner, Mr. Baek Sahyeon.

Should I go out and greet him first? But I did not know what kind of face to show him. As if nothing had happened… it did not seem like that would work.

While I was pondering what to do and listening for his presence, the footsteps became clearer and clearer. He was coming this way. When I felt the door was about to be opened with a clatter, I squeezed my eyes shut.

Kkiiik, the sound of the door opening was heard. My eyelids, which sensed the light, twitched. I felt his gaze too. But no more footsteps were heard. It seemed he was standing at the doorway, looking at me.

“…….”

Perhaps thinking I was asleep, he did not speak to me. I quietly endured his heavy gaze.

After what felt like about five minutes, I was finally released from his gaze. Tak, the door closed and the light that had been cast over my eyelids disappeared. After a few more minutes, I stealthily opened my eyes. In the meantime, his presence, which had been steadily moving away, abruptly ceased.

The sleep that had been broken did not return. I just blinked my eyes and focused all my attention on the presence outside. Faintly, I could hear the sound of water. It seemed he was washing up in the bathroom outside.

Soon, the sound of water stopped. Since he had finished washing, I tensed up slightly, thinking he might come back in here now. But even after a long time, he did not return.

From what I had seen of the house, this was the only bed. This meant that this was originally Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s bedroom. I did not know what time he usually went to sleep, but it was already dawn and a long time had passed since he had returned, so it must be time for him to sleep. And yet, the fact that he was not coming in… was it because of me?

By my standards, the bed was the size of a playground, so it seemed more than enough for two, let alone three people to lie on. But for him, who was used to sleeping alone, it might be uncomfortable. In fact, I too was in the habit of sleeping alone, so I thought I would probably be conscious of him and unable to sleep if he were to lie down next to me. More than anything, it was only now that I thought I had been using the owner’s bed too freely.

In any case, this was Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s house. Even if I had not come here of my own will, if he felt uncomfortable, it was right for me to move aside. So, after some thought, I got up and went out of the bedroom.

The indirect lighting was on in the living room. I had not turned it on. I stood there blankly and looked around for him. Soon, I saw light seeping through the crack of the door of a room in the hallway. From my memory, it was a room decorated like a study.

I cautiously approached and stood in front of the door for a while. I still could not figure out what expression to show him, or what to say to him.

But…….

“Come in.”

He called me. He had noticed my presence.

Now that I was caught, I could not pretend I had not heard, and it did not seem like an answer would come out even if I hesitated further. Having no choice, I took a deep breath and reached for the doorknob.

I slowly opened the door. Inside the open door was Mr. Baek Sahyeon, sitting at his desk, chin in hand, looking over some documents.

“What.”

He asked indifferently. Without giving me even a single glance. It was an avoidance that made my worries about what expression to show him seem pointless.

I stood at the doorway, unable to even step inside, and carefully spoke.

“I was just wondering… if you were not sleeping.”

“Mind your own business and sleep.”

It was a blunt tone that dismissed my concern. His voice was so cold that I could feel a chill on my skin. And yet, I could not obediently back down and talked back.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can mind my own business.”

If I could have minded my own business and slept, I would have done so long ago. It was because I could not that I had come all the way to the study, knowing we would both be uncomfortable.

He lifted his eyes and looked at me. Conversely, I lowered my gaze and avoided a clash.

“It’s just… if you’re not using the bedroom because you’re uncomfortable because of me, I was wondering if I should move. I can sleep on the living room sofa.”

“I appreciate the consideration, but it’s useless. It’s more uncomfortable for me to have you sleep in the living room.”

“……It’s uncomfortable for me that you’re not sleeping, Mister.”

“Haejin.”

At Mr. Baek Sahyeon’s call, which I was still not used to, I looked at him without realizing it. At that, he twisted his lips and sneered.

“Are you in a position to be interfering with me right now?”

I sucked in my breath. His words sounded as if he was telling me to be aware of my position as a sold rent boy……. Unfortunately, this was not a misunderstanding.

“There’s only one thing you can say in front of me. Please buy my body.”

……It was true.

“For your reference, there’s only one thing you have to do too. To obediently offer yourself.”

“…….”

“Do you understand?”

I understood. All too clearly.

My hands trembled with a sense of misery. I clasped my hands together and agreed.

“……Yes.”

He, who was staring at me blankly, leaned his upper body against the back of the chair and tilted his head to the side. Then he ordered.

“Show me that you really understand.”

He was telling me to follow the words and actions he had just told me. In other words, he was telling me to try and sell my body again.

I should have just kept pretending to be asleep.

I now regretted it. As he said, I was not in a position to interfere, and yet I had tried to be nosy. As a result, I had fallen into a pit instead…….

The words, ‘I can’t do it’… did not come out. Because I knew all too well that I should not. For the current Mr. Baek Sahyeon, my refusal was nothing but fuel that would incite his inherent violence. Defiance, too, would only become a driving force that would incite his cruelty. This was a lesson that the last time we had sex had engraved in my mind.

He just stared at me intently without rushing me. It was a leisure he could afford because he was certain that he had me under his thumb.

I approached him. Since there was no way out, I had no choice but to move forward.

My slow steps stopped in front of the desk. He looked up at me as I approached and flicked one eyebrow. As if to say, now say the one and only thing you can say.

“I…….”

“…….”

“Please…….”

Suddenly, a feeling similar to indignation welled up from within and blocked my throat. I swallowed to forcibly push it down and with great difficulty, continued with the rest of the words.

“……buy me.”

The forcibly swallowed indignation turned into self-loathing and exhaustion and spread to my mind. I could feel the corners of my eyes gradually growing hot. Not wanting to show him a crying face again, I tilted my head sideways and hid my face.

“Come here and show me your hole.”

He gave the order in a dry voice. He did not seem to care about my feelings at all. Even if I said I did not want to, he would not even pretend to listen. The Mr. Baek Sahyeon who had understood my feelings and been considerate of my situation was no longer there. The man over there only had the intention of treating me like an object.

After hesitating for a moment, I walked around the desk to his front. When I finally got right next to him, he turned his chair towards me as if he had been waiting.

I hesitated again, holding the waistband of my pants. I had come this far because I could not resist, but taking them off… was not easy.

“What’s so shy about showing a hole that’s already been used. If you want to raise your price, act proactively. I’m not a fan of dawdling.”

He warned me as he took a cigarette from the desk drawer. He was thoroughly treating me as a rent boy. Funnily enough, at this point, it was not sadness but defiance that was triggered.