BCRD 24

‘Sometimes… no. I often think about this.’

It was a voice I had not heard in a long time.

‘Hyung, you seem to live such a boring life.’

It was Seowon’s voice.

‘I was curious why that was, and lately I think I understand. You have no greed, no obsessions… It’s because you have nothing you desperately want. Am I right?’

A sense of déja vu washed over me. It was likely because this was a conversation we had shared once before. Yet, I could not recall at all what he had said after this. Was it because it was too long ago?

In any case, it was merely a fragment of memory. Very rarely, like this, I would recall traces of my younger brother in my subconscious. Therefore, it was not a particularly strange phenomenon.

When I offered no response, he added after a short silence.

‘I hope you wouldn’t, hyung.’

It was only then, at the bitter tone lacing his voice, that I asked back.

Wouldn’t what?

‘Don’t live like that.’

Then how do you want me to live?

‘I want you to live a fun life.’

That’s difficult.

‘It’s not difficult. You just need to have desires, like me.’

What kind of desires do you have?

‘Me? I have a lot. I want to do well in my studies, I want to date, there are many things I want to buy… More than anything, I want to live well.’

So, was living with desire fun for you?

‘Of course. It makes you happy when you get what you want, right? Father said so too. The taste of a fish caught after waiting and waiting is just so good, that’s the taste he goes fishing for. Everyone lives for that kind of taste. But the problem is, I don’t think you do, hyung.’

Is it really a problem?

‘You don’t have any joyful moments. So, hyung. Try to be a little greedy.’

About what?

‘About being happy? Because I want you to be happy, hyung. To the point where one day you suddenly think, Ah~ life is worth living!’

…….

‘I really hope you will. Hyung.’

“We have arrived.”

I opened my closed eyes. In an instant, the drowsiness that had drifted over me like a fog vanished, and reality rushed in.

After blinking a few times, my blurry vision became as clear as Haejin. I turned my head to look out the car window. A gate that was not unfamiliar, yet not particularly familiar either, came into view. I stared at it blankly for a moment before asking Jongsu.

“What’s the date today?”

“It is June 3rd.”

No wonder.

In seven days, it would be the anniversary of Seowon’s death. That must be why I had such an out-of-the-blue dream. Perhaps an alarm etched in my mind had gone off.

After shaking off all the lingering feelings that floated like dust in my mind, I left an instruction to wait and got out of the car.

Right in front of me, I was about to approach the main gate and ring the bell. The door suddenly opened and someone came out, holding a dog that looked like a ball of fur in his arms.

“Ah.”

The other person, who seemed not to have anticipated my presence either, widened his eyes upon encountering me. He had a rather youthful face. Seeing as he was completely unfamiliar, he had to be someone I had never seen before. However, I could instinctively tell who the man was. It seemed the other side felt the same, as his expression quickly calmed.

“Hello.”

Following the other person who greeted me first, I also gave a light nod. The man then informed me of the homeowner’s whereabouts.

“The CEO is in the garden.”

He spoke as if he already knew the purpose of my visit.

“Then I’ll be on my way in.”

The man asked for my understanding. It was only then that I realized I had been unintentionally blocking his path, and I stepped aside. As if he had been waiting, the man immediately passed me and went out onto the street, placing the puppy on the ground. It seemed he had come out for a walk. But the scent lingering on the tip of my nose was strangely familiar. It smelled like paint.

For a moment, I watched the man’s back as he walked away slowly, holding the leash. But as expected, my interest in a stranger did not last long. As soon as I decided there was no need to observe him further, I averted my gaze and stepped inside the gate.

Climbing the stone steps, I came upon a garden. Looking at the garden, which showed signs of having been meticulously landscaped, the thought that it might be quite nice to live in a house like this suddenly occurred to me. It was a thought that arose with Haejin distinctly in mind. Since he had said my house was so high up it was sometimes scary, I thought he would like a house like this.

In the center of the garden were a small pond and a bench. CEO Jang was sitting there, reading a book. There was no way he had not sensed my presence, yet he did not spare me a single glance. It was an indifference stemming from his personality, not a deliberate slight. The reason I knew this was probably because I was of the same kind as him. Undeniably, CEO Jang and I had many personality traits in common.

I approached him and spoke first.

“It’s been a while.”

Thud, CEO Jang closed his book and finally looked at me.

“Sit.”

He pointed to the empty chair across the table. Now I could see a teapot and two teacups on the table. It seemed he had made some preparations to receive a guest.

As I sat down, CEO Jang poured tea into the empty cup and began to speak.

“How is the cleanup.”

He was referring to the internal construction that had been underway since last year, in other words, the ousting of Senior Managing Director Seok’s faction.

“It’s almost finished.”

“The ventilator. It seems about time to take it off.”

All the guys who had ridden Senior Managing Director Seok’s coattails had been weeded out and the surgery was complete. However, Senior Managing Director Seok, the core target of the construction, was still alive. It was just that, as CEO Jang had put it, he was only on a ventilator. Now all that was left was to remove that ventilator, and there was no chance of failure.

“I am waiting for the right moment.”

“The special investigation team will be making a move soon. I hear it’s a Prosecutor Han.”

Prosecutor Han. He was a familiar figure. A man who controlled the special investigation department, considered the elite course within the prosecution, and was hell-bent on planning a major case that would attract the spotlight as he eyed not only an entry into politics but also the presidency in the future. Senior Managing Director Seok, having fed such a man a tasty piece of bait, had in return secured a safe refuge called the dovecote1) within the prosecution. With all the guys who had served as his arms and legs wiped out, and CEO Jang showing signs of condoning my hunt rather than mediating, he must have judged that a head-on collision with me would be a suicidal act. Thus, he needed a safe haven my hand could not reach and a person with more power than CEO Jang. The results were the dovecote and Prosecutor Han.

Putting personal feelings aside and evaluating it objectively, it was a decent judgment. It had indeed become difficult for our side to make a move.

“The script is to hit this side with a warrant, linking us to Assemblyman Na’s stock price manipulation case, what do you think.”

I had also already grasped what kind of script it was.

First, the prosecution’s side would bring in Senior Managing Director Seok and investigate him, then based on the mutually agreed-upon testimony and evidence, they would hit CEO Jang’s side, the head of the organization, with a warrant. At this time, Senior Managing Director Seok would be released on the grounds of being a public informant and insufficient evidence, and while CEO Jang is tied up in the investigation and away from his position, he would mobilize the remaining Gangho faction to pressure the shareholders and secure the position of interim CEO. If he succeeds up to this point, he will use the CEO’s authority to take out me and Ms. Kwon, along with the rest of the Jaeil faction, and push for an organizational reshuffle to his liking, ultimately taking complete control of Seonjin. To Prosecutor Han, he would pay in installments the big catch that is CEO Jang and the funds needed for his future political activities.

This was likely the script co-written by Senior Managing Director Seok and Prosecutor Han.

“Given the timing, they can’t afford to lose face, so there’s a high possibility they will push it to the goal2) one way or another.”

“I think so too. But, I’m not idle enough to be going in and out of the big house. I have a family to take care of, too.”

In short, it meant to clean it up before their side makes a move.

I had no intention of dragging it out for long either. No. In fact, it had already been dragged out longer than planned. I intended to end it by this month at the latest.

“That won’t happen.”

No matter how much Senior Managing Director Seok’s side struggled, the result would not change. He would ultimately have to come out of the dovecote. Because I would make it so. However, he would not be able to walk out on his own two feet. A corpse, after all, cannot walk.

Despite my bold declaration which omitted specific plans, CEO Jang nodded his head lightly as if he understood. That indifference, in other words, also signified his trust in me.

CEO Jang, who had taken a sip of his tea, put down his teacup and brought up another topic.

“As I’ve said before, this year is the end for me. I’ve given you enough time. Clean up the aftermath neatly and be prepared.”

CEO Jang had been preparing to wash his hands of this for a long time. And he had already designated me as his successor. This was the catalyst for Senior Managing Director Seok to begin openly showing his hostility towards me. Even though, from my perspective, it was not a very welcome choice.

I did not know why CEO Jang was trying to wash his hands of it now. Nor was I particularly interested. However, I was curious about this.

“Why me.”

Why did it have to be me?

Was there a need for it to be me?

Our relationship was not one with any particular friendship. What existed between CEO Jang and me was, if I had to say, a level of trust born from a sense of kinship. Was that reason enough to be designated a successor? In my opinion, it was not.

To my question, which contained only pure curiosity without any personal feelings, CEO Jang answered immediately without any sign of contemplation.

“Because you’re a man as bad as I am, and one who could become even worse.”

It was an answer as concise as my question. But it was not an incomprehensible one.

“A character that can choose the worst for the sake of the best. It’s the most necessary attribute for a life of earning a living through bad deeds. Isn’t that right?”

He was right. No matter how much it was packaged as a sound business, the nature of this world was to not hesitate at illegal acts for the sake of profit. To do bad things, one had to be bad, and the badder one was, the better they were at doing worse things. As CEO Jang said, I was a man who could unhesitatingly choose the worst means for the best profit. I had no lingering attachments to people or things, so it was not difficult to discard them as needed. My current life might also be a result of such attributes.

“I’m sure I’m not the only one with those attributes.”

“I didn’t see many guys who would be impartially ruthless.”

It was a statement conscious of the internal structure of the organization, which was divided into two factions, Gangho and Jaeil. In the end, it meant that my attribute of not belonging to either side had acted as the decisive reason.

“As you know, the resistance is considerable.”

Considering only the internal hierarchy, it was true that the person who should have succeeded CEO Jang was Senior Managing Director Seok. After him, it was Ms. Kwon. It was impossible for the shareholders to welcome me, a stone that had suddenly rolled in without any roots and who had no so-called experience.

“That may be so for now. It was no different in my time. They attached all sorts of reasons, saying I was too young, not careful enough, impossible to communicate with.”

“Do you think it will be sorted out?”

“Ms. Kwon will take care of soothing the old folks, and as for the rest, their thoughts will clear up after they smell some incense.”

If words do not work, offer money, and if money does not work either, shove a knife at them; that is the method this industry pursues. The shareholders were no exception to that method. As CEO Jang said, grabbing a few of the opposition and making an example of them would surely be effective. However, this method was only possible if I had the power to not only attack but also defend. If I mishandled it, I could be counterattacked.

“Why. Are you not confident?”

“It would be more accurate to say I have no motivation.”

“Now that you have something to protect, you must possess it.”

My brow furrowed instinctively at that moment.

Something to protect. It was a statement that was, without a doubt, referring to Haejin.

“I heard you finally brought him into your home, is that right?”

He must have known everything and thrown the topic out on purpose. There was no way denying it would work.

When I affirmed with silence, CEO Jang continued in an impassive tone.

“If you had abandoned him completely, that would be one thing, but if you have decided to keep him by your side, you have no choice but to protect him with whatever it takes.”

It was advice I could not help but agree with.

I had decided to keep him by my side, living in this sewer. I had held on because I could not abandon him, and I had caught him because I could not let him go. So now, I had no choice but to protect him with all my might. To do that, I had to become stronger. So strong that no one would even dare to think of taking him from me.

Ms. Kwon’s advice was right. Whether Haejin would become my weakness or my Achilles’ heel depended on what I did. I chose the latter. I decided to make Haejin my Achilles’ heel. Thoroughly.

“By the way, he seemed quite young.”

It was a statement that meant he had already figured out all of Haejin’s personal information. Indeed, Ms. Kwon already knew about it. It was impossible for CEO Jang not to know.

“I believe there is no need for you to be further interested.”

I knew there was no malicious intent, so I did not feel wary, but I could not help but feel displeased. Thus, when I overtly showed my twisted mood, CEO Jang chuckled.

“No need to put your guard up. I’m not getting any more interested either. But as someone with experience, I’d like to give you one useful piece of advice.”

Someone with experience?

It was a word that sparked my curiosity.

Soon after, CEO Jang added what he called that advice.

“Always lose to the kid. Just give up any thought of winning.”

What is this…….

“That way, it’s easier for both of you.”

“……”

“You can’t win anyway, can you.”

Suddenly, the man I saw at the gate came to mind. Along with the reason for CEO Jang’s retirement that had been circulating in rumors.

The moment I completely understood what he meant by ‘someone with experience,’ an unwitting laugh escaped me. CEO Jang, even at my laugh, showed no sign of being offended and simply savored his tea calmly. The strange thing was that CEO Jang’s face, which had not evoked any particular impression until now, suddenly looked different. At a glance, it seemed as if nothing had changed from when I first saw him 10 years ago, but now I could feel it. The desolate and sharp, blade-like aura he had always carried was gone.

Was it a trace of experience, or the joy of liberation? I became quite curious about the meaning of the leisure that had settled in the space where the blade had disappeared.

In any case, I did not know if it was useful, but,

“That is true.”

it was certainly advice that I could not help but agree with.

The conversation was not long. From the start, neither CEO Jang nor I were the types to say anything that was not necessary for work. There was the reason that we were not close enough to engage in small talk, but a bigger reason was that we were both men of few words. In that respect, CEO Jang was definitely more comfortable to deal with than the talkative Ms. Kwon.

I went outside and got into the car that was waiting for me. As the car door closed, Jongsu spoke up as if he had been waiting.

“Did the talk go well?”

His voice was full of tension. He was a guy who was originally under CEO Jang before coming to me. Perhaps because of that, Jongsu had a tendency to react particularly sensitively to CEO Jang’s summons.

“Well.”

“Could there be some kind of problem….”

“He was rushing me, saying he wants to wash his hands of it quickly so I should pick up the pace.”

“Ah.”

“Speaking of which, has the player been recruited?”

To take care of Senior Managing Director Seok, I first needed a player who could easily access the dovecote that was acting as his bomb shelter. So, based on the information I received from Section Chief Shin, I had selected a promising guy and started the recruitment process, and I had entrusted this matter to Jongsu.

“I apologize, not yet. We are still trying to make contact, but….”

“Who was it?”

“A prosecutor named Jeong Sucheon from the Central District Prosecutors’ Office. He was originally part of the special investigation team but was recently pushed out to the administrative bureau. Rumor is that he and Han Gyeongho were classmates at the training institute and have had considerable friction since way back.”

“The probability of recruitment.”

“I’m estimating 80 percent.”

“What’s the other 20 percent.”

“The man who will be his father-in-law is the vice president of the Guguk Daily, a powerful figure in not just the business world but also in politics, so it seems he is being cautious with the marriage ahead.”

“Understandable.”

“Should we sweeten the deal a bit more?”

“What’s the current offer?”

“Five bills.”

The amount of money already spent on this construction was not small. Feeding him more bribes was not particularly difficult, but it would do no good to give the impression that we were the desperate ones.

“The labor cost is enough, do we have a good photo collection?”

“Yes. I have secured both photos and videos, just in case.”

“The source?”

“Sohyedang.”

An unwelcome name made me frown instinctively.

“Did they hand it over obediently?”

“Yes.”

“It was worth deliberately letting them off.”

If it were up to me, I would have wanted to grind them to dust without a trace. However, given the nature of the establishment frequented by all sorts of men and women, there was a lot of information to extract, so for the time being, my plan was to keep it alive and use it appropriately. On the condition that the owner continued to be as obedient as he was now. I had made an example of that bastard of a manager and meticulously worked him over, so he would probably lay low for a while. Of course, regardless of his attitude, the moment he was no longer useful, I would get rid of him immediately.

“How’s the rating of the photo collection?”

“Appropriate.”

“Send him one as a teaser. Attach the future father-in-law’s number as well.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Recruitment complete within two days, is it possible?”

“I will make it possible.”

“Good.”

He was a guy who did not engage in pointless bravado. There was no need to rush him further, nor was there a need to add any nagging.

“Anything else that needs to be taken care of?”

“Nothing, sir. Ah, I received a call from Hyunki 30 minutes ago. He said he saw Haejin safely home.”

Come to think of it, I remembered hearing that the two of them were supposed to meet this morning.

‘Hyunki hyung-nim said he’s buying me a meal. I’ll be out for lunch.’

He had not asked, ‘May I go out?’, but had said he would go out. It was practically a notification. What bothered me was his expression, which did not quite match his confident tone. It was obvious that he was worried I might be displeased. While that gap seemed cute, it also seemed to signify the fear he still held towards me. It was a phenomenon that, while I felt sorry for him, was pleasing to me. I thought it was better for him to find me a little difficult rather than being completely comfortable with me. He had a fiery side, and the reference point for his choices and actions was still himself. It was safer in many ways to make him conscious of how his actions would affect my mood.

Anyway, I had obediently told him to go ahead with the notification I received from Haejin in the morning. The person he was meeting was Hyunki, and since I was having a tail on him anyway, there was no need to control him to the point of hurting his feelings.

Just in case, I took out my phone to check. Sure enough, there was a text message from Haejin.

Haejin

I’m home.

I’ll make dinner.

In the meantime, Jongsu, who had started the car, asked for my destination.

“Where should I take you?”

I checked the time displayed at the top of the screen. 5:12 PM. There were no other schedules after this. On a normal day, I probably would have gone to the office without a second thought. But now, well… I did not really feel like it. Because there was a place I wanted to go.

After a moment of consideration, I answered.

“Home.”

The place I wanted to go.

That place was my space, which I had brought Haejin into.

I arrived home around the time the deep-set sunset began to turn a dark blue. Looking out the car window, I felt a strange sensation all the way home. It was because I had never returned home this early before. Rather, it was more common for me to go to work at this hour and return late at dawn, and that was a life that felt natural. It was to the point that even Jongsu had expressed his doubt, asking “Yes?” at the instruction to go home.

Arriving at the apartment building, I left Jongsu, who saw me off, and went up to my home. It might have been my imagination, but my footsteps became lighter as I got closer to home. The very fact that I was feeling such a sensation was strange in itself.

Soon, I arrived in front of the door. Out of habit, I reached for the door lock. But then, I hesitated for a moment. The fact that Haejin was inside the house had suddenly come to mind.

“……”

I raised the hand that was about to press the keypad and brought it to the doorbell. When I pressed the button, a faint bell sound came from inside. I strained my ears for any sign of movement. Not betraying my expectation, the sound of footsteps soon reached my ears.

The approaching footsteps suddenly stopped at a certain point. Then, the front door opened with a click. What revealed its presence first through the slowly opening door was a familiar voice.

“Who i—. Ah.”

Haejin, who had been peeking outside with only his head stuck out warily, soon spotted me and his eyes widened.

“What. It was you, Mister?”

“You opened it without knowing?”

“Yes.”

He was full of vigilance, but when you get to know him, he had a strangely lax side to him.

“Shouldn’t you not open it if you don’t know?”

“No, I just thought, maybe… It could be a delivery…”

“You can check with the intercom.”

“Ah, right. There was that.”

Haejin said, scratching his head in embarrassment.

Opening the door first without checking who it was must be a habit he picked up while living alone in a studio apartment. Although the security here was good, there was a need to correct it.

“From now on, always check who it is before you open the door. Know that you’ll be scolded if you open it without knowing again like you did just now.”

“Yeees…”

He did not get upset at my point or add any excuses, but instead responded obediently. Instead, he added a question with a puzzled expression.

“But why did you ring the bell instead of just coming in?”

“Because I wanted to.”

“Huh?”

The simple reason made him look dumbfounded. But that was really the only reason. I wanted to see Haejin opening the door to my home.

“Anyway, could you move? I want to come in.”

“Ah, yessir.”

I followed Haejin, who quickly stepped back, and went inside.

Even after I took off my shoes, passed through the inner door, and stood in the hallway, Haejin just stared at me blankly. I, too, looked down at him quietly.

“……”

“……”

“……Ah!”

A step too late, he figured out the meaning of my steady gaze and only then gave me a proper greeting.

“Welcome back. You worked hard today, too.”

A warm smile was added at the end. The roundly curved eyes and the slightly raised corners of his mouth seemed to capture not just my gaze but all my senses. Indeed, it was a welcome lovely enough to make me choose to come home early.

For that reason, I, too, could not help but smile.

“Yeah, I’m back.”

“Go wash up and come out. I still have things left to do.”

Having finished his welcome, Haejin said so and headed straight for the kitchen. I had thought I smelled food as soon as I entered the house, and it seemed he was in the middle of preparing dinner as he had announced.

By the time I had washed up and come out as he had instructed, the dinner table was set. It was quite neat and looked appetizing. From what I had eaten so far, the chances were high that it would taste good too, and seeing as he was generally good at cooking, it seemed he had a knack for it. I would not have known if I had not brought him into my home.

As I sat in the chair, he ladled soup and brought it before me as if he had been waiting. Yesterday it was beef radish soup, but today it was spicy beef soup.

“Please eat.”

He, who sat opposite me, urged. The eyes looking at me were sparkling. It was a gaze that begged for a compliment.

I first took a spoonful to taste it and then voiced the unadulterated review that came to mind.

“It’s delicious.”

It was an objective assessment, nothing more, nothing less. But Haejin crinkled his nose. As if to ask if that was all. It meant that just saying it was delicious was not enough. But to be honest, I did not know what more I should say. Unfortunately, I was not a man with a great talent for words.

After a short deliberation, I painstakingly added one more word.

“Very.”

This time, he pouted his lips. Is even this not enough? Having no choice, this time I added a little more exaggeration and a longer impression.

“It’s the best spicy beef soup I’ve had in my life.”

This time, he let out a puff of air and laughed. It was a look of disbelief rather than a happy laugh.

“Yeees. Thank you. I can really feel the reward for my hard work.”

The tone was sarcastic, but it did not contain any dissatisfaction. It seemed that while it was not perfectly to his liking, it was an expression that was acceptable enough.

“Should I clap for you, too?”

I asked as if it were a joke, but if he wanted me to, I was planning to actually do it. With all my sincerity. But he refused with a look of disgust.

“No, thank you? Just eat a lot.”

After that, he also picked up his spoon and began to eat.

Both he and I were the type not to talk much while eating. Therefore, a silence naturally flowed during the meal. However, neither of us felt uncomfortable in that silence.

By the way, as I ate, I noticed that all but two or three of the side dishes were different from yesterday’s. It seemed that not only the soup but most of the side dishes were newly made today as well. The state of the bathroom I encountered when I washed, and the state of the living room I glanced at, were all results that made hiring him as a housekeeper worthwhile. Of course, it was just called employment, but in reality, it was nothing more than a scheme I had cooked up to keep Haejin in this house.

It was a month ago.

After lazing around at home for a while, he must have gotten restless, because Haejin suddenly brought up that he would start working part-time again. While carefully observing my reaction. It was because he had anticipated that I would not be pleased. As he had expected, my answer was, of course, ‘No.’ There was the situation surrounding me, but it was also because I did not want to let him roam outside the house. However, an unconditional refusal could not break Haejin’s stubbornness.

‘Mister. I need money too. There are things I want to buy, and things I want to eat. To do that, I have to earn money.’

I do not know if he was aware of it himself, but Haejin had a stronger obsession with money than one might think. In other words, he had a tendency to become very anxious when he had no money in his hands. In the past, the card I gave him must have relieved his financial pressure. But after he was no longer able to use the card, his anxiety naturally grew, and to relieve that anxiety, he must have quit school and worked part-time jobs excessively. As a result, he even ended up flowing into an adult entertainment establishment. In other words, it was not because he liked working, but because he wanted to escape the financial anxiety that came over him like a habit.

I tried to appease him, saying I would give him money, that I could give him however much he wanted if he just said the word. It was useless. Rather, he showed a fierce reaction of refusal.

‘I don’t want it. I will never accept money from you, Mister, without a reason. I won’t take a card either. Know that I’ll throw it all away if you give it to me.’

It was only after seeing Haejin’s expression, which was not just a simple dislike but one of absolute loathing, that I was able to realize it. That he was refusing to accept the money because it felt like the payment for sex from back then. And that the time I treated him like a whore had left a rather large scar. Because I knew, I could not force him anymore.

But it was also difficult to let him do whatever he wanted. If I had not held on to him, it would have been different, but since I had decided to keep him by my side, Haejin was mine. No matter how much I had a tail on him, I hated the very fact that he was in a domain I could not control. And through this desire, I finally came to realize it. That I, too, had developed an obsession. That I had something I could never abandon. It was a desire that I would not have known about if not for Haejin… no, a desire that would not have arisen.

At the end of a tedious standoff, the conclusion I came to was this. If money without a reason was not acceptable, then I should give him money with a proper reason.

‘Work. But in this house. As you know from living here, there’s quite a lot to do. But do it properly. I’ll pay you by the hour for as much as you do.’

To my suggestion, Haejin showed a displeased reaction. It was probably because he had figured out my intention. However, perhaps judging that there was no more reasonable plan than this, he eventually accepted the proposal, and as a result, a cleanly organized house and a sincere dinner followed.

His cooking skills, which he had worried about, saying he had only ever eaten meals haphazardly and never cooked before, were improving day by day. Today’s result was the same. There was nothing to fault. The compliment from earlier, ‘very delicious,’ was, I can say for sure, not empty words. It was sincerity itself. He had seriously talked about wanting to open a sandwich shop before, and it seemed he would do well even if I really set one up for him. No, whatever he did, if he put his mind to it, he would do it all well. He had a knack for things and was a smart worker, and he even had the grit to pay off all the debt he owed me with part-time work.

Haejin, who finished his meal first, put down his utensils. It had not even been 10 minutes since he had started eating. It was too fast. In my memory, he did not eat that fast when he was young. It seemed he had picked up a bad habit while working part-time jobs over the past year.

“Why so fast again.”

I could not help but nag, and he flinched.

“W-was I… fast?”

He had already been pointed out several times. Since it was not getting fixed, he looked embarrassed himself.

“Try to extend it to 20 minutes next time.”

“……Yeees.”

An empty laugh escaped me for a moment. It was because I felt like I could see non-existent ears and a tail. And in a drooping manner at that.

He does not hold back and shows his teeth when he is criticized for something he does not think he did wrong, but he knows how to readily admit it for matters he considers his fault, like now. It was a praiseworthy quality.

“By the way, Mister. I have something to say…”

“Say it.”

“I was thinking of going back to school for the second semester. ……Is that okay?”

His tone and expression are quite cautious. Did he think I would say no again?

To be honest, I did have to think about it.

School…

“Do you want to go?”

“Well, it’s a school I got into with difficulty. I want to at least get a diploma.”

The feeling of not wanting to let him out is still the same. In that respect, sending him to school was not very welcome either.

I was the one who had intentionally sent Haejin, who said he did not have to go, to college under the pretext of an investment. At the time, I judged that it was for his sake. However, that judgment was only possible when I had excluded myself from his future. Now is different from back then. I have now included myself in not only Haejin’s present but also his future. I have also inserted Haejin into all of my time. Therefore, he no longer needed to try to cultivate his present for the sake of his future. Because I could do it all for him.

Despite thinking so,

“Then you should go.”

I did not bother to object this time.

Because apart from my greed, I believed I did not have the right to decide Haejin’s future. Also, because I wanted to see what kind of future Haejin would create for himself.

They say that what creates a person’s value is ultimately themselves. It would be the same for Haejin. If there was something he needed to pursue his own value, not money, I was planning to support him in whatever it was.

When I gave my permission without a word, he opened his eyes wide as if it were unexpected. He was surprised that I was not going to argue with him like last time.

Smiling, I added a condition.

“But you have to just study quietly. Is that possible?”

It was a warning that I would not tolerate him talking about getting another part-time job, hanging out with strange guys, or going to drinking parties. Haejin, who understood this, immediately nodded his head.

“Yes. Totally possible.”

“Good.”

“But I… that…”

It was obvious he was talking about tuition. It was clear that he would not accept it if I offered to just pay for it this time either.

“Investment, or advance payment. Choose one.”

“F-for now… can I go with investment? I’ll pay you back when I get a scholarship.”

“Are you confident you can get one?”

“Of course. I was a person for whom studying was the easiest thing.”

What was in his tone and expression was not arrogance but confidence. I could not help but believe him.

“Then do that.”

“Thank you. I’ll submit my application for reinstatement right away next week.”

“Okay.”

Haejin grinned. He seemed to be in a good mood because I had readily accepted his wishes.

Suddenly, I recall the boy from five years ago, who looked at me after receiving my card in the office.

He was beautiful.

Then and now, to the point where I could not help but stare as if I were unknowingly bewitched.

After finishing our meal, we spent time together in the living room.

It was not that I had no work to do, but these days, I tried to enjoy leisure with him as much as possible. This leisurely time would probably only last for a while. If I were to take over the CEO position as per CEO Jang’s plan, I could become busy to a degree incomparable to now.

Even so, it would be 10 years at most. Stagnant water is bound to rot anywhere. The same goes for an organization. It was no good for one person to hold power for too long. There might have been other reasons, but that situation must have surely played a part in why CEO Jang was trying to wash his hands of it now. However, whether long or short, the impression that it was a bother did not change. As I was just enjoying the leisurely present, my motivation for the CEO position seemed to hit rock bottom even more.

“Huh? Isn’t that person the culprit?”

Haejin, who was concentrating on the movie with a snack in his mouth, suddenly clapped his hands and pointed at the screen. I already knew the whole story, so I could have answered, but I deliberately chose silence. At that, he turned to me and pressed for an answer.

“Am I wrong?”

“Just watch.”

One of Haejin’s other traits I had just learned was that he could not bear curiosity well. The proof was that when he got curious while watching something like now, he would try to find out the answer right away. If I were not here, he probably would have turned on his phone and started searching right away.

“Aww, but I’m curious…”

While grumbling, he did not press any further and turned his gaze back to the screen. I did not watch the screen but watched Haejin.

The time spent with him was mostly like this. Watching something together, or doing something together.

Come to think of it, Haejin particularly wanted to watch the movies or read the books that I liked. Not only that, he somehow found out that I had majored in sculpture a long time ago and even became interested in that field and looked up materials. I knew that all of those things were desires and efforts born from the wish to know more about me as a person, so I tended to do whatever he wanted to do without a word.

The problem was that there were often times when my taste and his taste did not match.

“Hwaaam…!”

This was such a case. The movie we had on was a work from 20 years ago. I thought it might be boring for a young kid to watch, and I was right. For the first 30 minutes, he seemed to watch with concentration, but now he showed signs of losing interest. Before long, he was even blinking his eyes slowly, ready to fall asleep at any moment.

And, it was as expected. Not long after, Haejin’s eyelids closed completely. As if that was not enough, his head even dropped onto my shoulder with a thud. I left him for a moment, and when I heard his even breathing, I supported his head with one hand and got up. In that state, I put my arm behind his knees and lifted him up.

I moved to the bedroom, carrying the body that felt nothing but light. I did not turn on the light in case he woke up and carefully laid him down on the bed. As soon as his back touched the bed, Haejin made a strange sound and rubbed his head against the covers.

“Eung…”

“……”

For a moment, I watched Haejin quietly and then unconsciously reached out my hand and caressed his cheek.

It was then.

“……!”

As if he had a seizure, Haejin’s entire body flinched greatly. It was a reaction of surprise to my touch. At the gesture that could only be interpreted as rejection, the fingers caressing his cheek flinched on their own.

Soon, he let out a voice.

“Ah, Misteri…”

The nuance in his voice did not mean anticipation. Rather, it was close to rejection. He was afraid that I, that this situation, would turn sexual. I could not see his expression well, but I could clearly feel that aura.

In fact, we had not had sex for quite a long time. Because Haejin did not want it. It was probably more that he was scared than that he disliked it. The proof was that he would sometimes tremble at my unexpected touch. I could not help but admit that this, too, was my karma.

I treated him roughly, like a whore. Not just once or twice, but several times. For Haejin, the sex we had was no different from violence. In fact, that had been the intention. In that respect, it was highly likely that the sensation of pain remained more deeply than that of pleasure.

It was a pity, but I withdrew my hand without any lingering feelings. It was not a touch extended with the desire for sex in the first place, anyway. Although I was slightly aroused. In any case, if Haejin did not want it, I could not touch him. It was right to endure. In fact, I should have endured it back then, too.

But it was already spilt milk. I was the type not to have lingering feelings or regrets about the past, but whenever I felt his rejection towards me, I could not help but feel a pang in my heart. That, too, was my burden to bear.

“You sleep first. I’ll come back after getting some work done.”

“……”

“Good night.”

I stepped back.

Haejin did not hold onto me until the end.

💳

Two days later, just as he had boasted, Jongsu informed me of the player’s recruitment. As expected, the photo collection obtained from Sohyedang seemed to have been very effective.

“So, when is the job date?”

“The dawn of the 12th.”

“It’s later than I thought.”

“I apologize. I tried to negotiate, but it was difficult to move it up.”

“Why the 12th, specifically?”

“On that day, Prosecutor Han’s line is being entertained in Samseong-dong, and he seems to have judged that to be the opportune time. He says if we leave it to him, he will handle it well without leaving any room for blame.”

“How.”

“On the evening of the 11th, a meal along with milk3) will be delivered to the dovecote, the job will be carried out at dawn, and he will be discovered hanging in the interrogation room the next morning. He requested a suicide note written in Senior Managing Director Seok’s handwriting as a preparation, so I have commissioned one with the content of pressure from the prosecution’s coercive investigation.”

“Isn’t the scenario too cliché?”