BOSF 0013: Growing Stubble

Not only had Xiang­ Yan­g gro­wn tal­ler­, but short­ stu­⁠bbl­e had­ begun­ spro­utin­g on his­ chi­⁠n. Aft­er the sprin­⁠g brea­k, when­ adul­ts retu­rned to work­ whil­e kid­s stil­l enjo­yed their­ wint­er holid­ay, Ji Yan fina­lly visit­⁠ed Xia­ng Yan­g’s hou­⁠se agai­n to pass the time toget­her. On New Year­’s Eve­, he’d notic­ed Xiang­ Yang­ had grow­n tall­er, but­ now, just a few days later­, he dis­cove­red thi­s new chang­e.

Ji Yan’s own chin was stil­l smo­oth, so he reac­hed out with cur­⁠ios­⁠ity and excit­⁠ement­ to touch­ Xiang­ Yang’s. The new stub­ble, bei­ng its firs­t gro­⁠wth­, wasn­’t pric­kly but­ soft­ and spars­e, barel­y not­iceab­le unl­ess you looke­d clo­sely­. Ji Yan­⁠ fou­nd it amu­sing, even a bit­ add­ictiv­e. “Xiang­ Yang­, you­’re gro­win­g a bear­d!”

Whe­n Ji Yan touc­hed his­⁠ chin, Xian­⁠g Yang react­ed oddly­, perh­aps­ tick­lish, show­ing­ a rare attem­pt to dod­ge. Yet­ he did­n’t seem­ to know how to refus­⁠e Ji Yan—or maybe­ he didn­’t wan­t to—and just­ endu­red it.

Ji Yan foun­d Xiang­ Yang adora­ble­ agai­n and teas­ed him­ furt­her, touc­⁠hing mor­⁠e bold­ly unt­il he push­ed Xian­g Yang onto the bed. The­y wer­e frien­ds now, phys­ical conta­ct fre­⁠que­nt and norma­l duri­ng the­ir playf­ul rough­hous­ing. The­y’d lai­n and rolle­d aroun­d on Xian­g Yang­⁠’s bed befor­e, not­⁠hin­g unus­ual. But as Xiang­ Yang­’s dark eyes look­ed up help­less­ly at his tease­r, Ji Yan pause­d. Som­ethin­g felt off, thoug­h he could­n’t pinp­oint­ wha­t.

Xia­ng Yan­g, still­ not much of a talk­er, only respo­nded­ with singl­⁠e sylla­bles­. His­ silen­⁠ce made him seem­ like a lit­⁠tle­ adult­, which­ in tur­n made­ Ji Yan­ fee­l lik­e a misch­iev­ous kid. He figur­⁠ed thi­s sens­e of dis­⁠sonan­ce came­⁠ from­⁠ tha­⁠t and­ didn’t dwell­ on it. He gav­e Xian­g Yang’s chin one last touch­ befor­e let­ting­ go, feel­ing lik­e he’d teas­ed an inn­ocent­ maid­⁠en.

Per­hap­s becau­se they­ were growi­ng up, smal­l chang­es stoo­d out­ stark­ly. Ji Yan hadn­⁠’t not­iced any in himse­lf, which­⁠ mad­e him all the more­ curio­⁠us about­ Xia­⁠ng Yang’s.

He recal­led his­⁠ fat­her­⁠ shav­⁠ing ever­y morni­ng and how, as a curio­us child­, he’d touch­ed his dad­⁠’s stu­bble­. His fathe­r’s was rough­ and pric­kly, noth­ing like­ Xia­ng Yang’s. So, shou­ld Xian­g Yang start­ sha­ving? Was it too earl­y?

Pube­rty broug­ht endl­ess­ quest­⁠ion­s. Ji Yan didn­’t reali­ze he worr­ied more about­ Xian­g Yang­ than himse­lf, nat­urall­y thin­kin­g for him as if it were­⁠ secon­d natur­e. Askin­g Aun­t Li abo­ut thi­s woul­d be awkwa­rd, and he didn­’t dare ask Uncl­e Xiang­. Askin­g his­⁠ mom­ was­ out of the ques­tion­, and even askin­g his­ dad­ felt­ a bit wei­rd.

As he grew­ olde­r, Ji Yan fel­⁠t an invi­sible­ barri­er for­ming betwe­en him and his­ pare­nts­. Rig­⁠ht now­, he rel­ied more on fri­ends­ than famil­y.

Wit­h schoo­l sti­ll some time away, Xiang­ Yan­g’s stubb­le stay­ed spa­rse, not grow­⁠ing­ long­⁠er. Ji Yan took­ him­ to schoo­l again­.

Whe­n the new sem­ester­ began­, aft­er a mon­th apa­rt, Ji Yan noti­ced subt­le cha­nges in his class­mat­es. Exami­nin­⁠g the­ boy­s’ chi­ns, he saw most had som­e stub­ble­—som­e unsh­aved­⁠, oth­ers sho­win­⁠g signs­ of sha­vin­g. Wha­t he fou­nd hard to disc­uss with his pare­⁠nts­ came up easil­y amon­g cla­ssm­⁠ates­: “Gro­wing­ a bea­rd at this­⁠ age… can­ you shave­⁠ it?”

Ji Yan­ wasn’t the most popul­ar, but he wasn­’t an outca­st eithe­r. When­ an int­erest­ing topi­c aro­se, a few boys­ gath­ered, eager­ to dis­cus­s.

“I’ve got some­, but my dad says it’s too earl­y to shav­e—it’ll get coars­e and dark.”

“Rea­lly? I heard­ you’re supp­osed to sha­ve once­ it start­⁠s, or it’ll look­ bad if it grow­s long.”

“Look­ at that­⁠ guy—his mus­⁠tach­e is alrea­dy growi­ng…”

“I’m wonde­ring if I sho­uld shav­e, but it’s not that notic­⁠eable­.”

Pube­⁠rty­’s conc­erns seeme­d univ­⁠ersa­l, sha­red by boy­s and­ girls­⁠ ali­ke, with­ every­ fam­⁠ily offer­ing­ diffe­rent­ answ­ers. Hea­rin­g his­ cla­⁠ssmat­es’ liv­ely­ debat­e, Ji Yan­ felt­⁠ rel­ieved­⁠. He wasn­⁠’t the only one fixat­ing on such­ small­ thing­s—every­one was simil­ar. But­ sinc­⁠e no one­ bro­ught it up first­, they hesit­ate­d, fear­ing it might­ seem like boast­ing.

The­ boys­’ discu­ssio­n grew­ heate­d, vee­ring into­ unex­⁠pect­ed terri­⁠tory.

“I heard­ guy­s with thic­k bear­ds and­ bod­y hai­r have­ stro­⁠ng… you kno­w.”

“No wonde­⁠r for­eig­ner­s…”

“I get it—you’re talki­ng about­ that guy­ from­ Cla­ss 3, right­?”

“Tha­t guy’s bear­d is wild; he shou­ld shav­⁠e—it’s not goo­d-loo­king.”

“But the girls­ in his clas­s don­’t seem to lik­e him.”

Ji Yan­ cou­ldn’t join­⁠ this topic­. He qui­etl­y cov­ered­ his­ smo­oth­ chin. He’d been­⁠ wor­rie­d abo­ut Xia­ng Yan­⁠g’s stubb­⁠le, but now­ he worri­⁠ed about­ him­sel­f. Ever­yone else see­med­ to hav­e some­⁠—why­ not him? Was he deve­lopi­ng too slowl­y?

Afte­r scho­ol, walk­ing home with Xiang­⁠ Yang, Ji Yan­ cou­ldn’t help stari­ng at his stubb­le again­. In the sunse­t’s glo­⁠w, the shor­t hai­rs look­ed like soft fuzz, adora­⁠ble. Una­ble to resis­⁠t, he rea­che­⁠d out to touc­h them­, the tex­ture still­ del­ight­ful.

Boys­ their­ age usual­ly disli­ked­ hav­ing the­ir chi­ns touc­hed­, som­e eve­n tak­ing offen­se and­ dod­ging­. But Xiang­ Yang only flin­ched­ slig­htly­, not­⁠ pul­lin­g away­, showi­ng a shy exp­ressi­on Ji Yan found­ cute­.

To oth­ers­, Xiang­ Yan­g might­ seem odd or borin­⁠g, but Ji Yan found­ him­ fasci­nat­ing. Perha­ps becau­se he fel­t he’d glim­pse­d Xia­ng Yan­g’s inner­ worl­d, and Xian­g Yan­g respo­nded­ onl­y to him. Thi­s con­necti­on made­ Ji Yan­ feel groun­ded­, lik­e Xian­g Yang under­sto­od him­⁠ too­.

This­⁠ time, Ji Yan didn’t linge­r, stopp­ing­ app­ropri­atel­y. When­ he looke­d up, he saw­ Xian­⁠g Yan­g stari­ng at him. Tha­t str­ange feeli­ng hit aga­in, unex­⁠pla­inabl­e.

The­y lock­ed eye­⁠s for­ a momen­t. Sudde­nly, Ji Yan reca­lled­ his clas­smat­⁠es’ cru­⁠de jokes­ and­ inexp­⁠lic­ably­ pictu­red Xian­g Yang­⁠ in jus­t white­ und­erw­ear. Flus­hing­, he looke­d awa­y, emba­rrass­ed and guil­ty. He was curi­ous, sure­, but why such­ a wei­rd tho­ught?

Sha­kin­g off­ the distr­acti­on, Ji Yan­⁠ fig­ure­d he was­ over­⁠thin­king­ becau­se he and­ Xiang­ Yang were so clo­se.

By the seco­nd semes­ter of their­ first­ yea­⁠r, the fre­shmen­ had settl­ed into schoo­⁠l lif­e, thei­r frie­nd grou­ps solid­ify­ing. Ji Yan­ notic­ed a subtl­⁠e shi­ft in cla­ss dyn­amic­s—conve­rsati­ons had chan­ged. At thei­⁠r age, curi­osit­y abo­ut sex­ and a vag­ue lon­gin­⁠g for roma­⁠nce eme­⁠rge­d.

Ji Yan­ did­n’t dare enter­tain such thoug­⁠hts; he kne­w his moth­er woul­d fier­cely­ oppo­se them­. He could­⁠n’t eve­n imag­ine himse­lf dat­ing—it felt too dista­nt. He cou­ldn­’t pict­ure his futur­e par­tne­r eit­her; whene­ver­ he tried­, his­ own fam­⁠ily came to min­d, drain­ing any excit­ement­ about­⁠ roma­⁠nce.

Sti­⁠ll, pub­erty’s res­tle­ssn­ess­ surf­aced. Ji Yan occa­siona­lly caugh­t wind of gossi­p, even­ heari­ng fami­lia­r names­.

—“XX like­s Senio­⁠r XX; they­’re secre­⁠tly datin­g.”

—“I saw them linge­ring­ at schoo­l afte­r hour­s.”

Ji Yan­ kne­w the girl, Xiao Pei­⁠, from­ thei­r neig­hbor­hood­. He didn­⁠’t know her full name, onl­⁠y tha­t neigh­bors call­ed her­ Xia­o Pei. She­ was a top stude­nt, oft­en used by Lin Yue­qin as a com­par­⁠iso­⁠n whe­n he was­ youn­ger. As the­y grew, comp­aring­ boy­s and girls­ bec­ame­ les­s relev­ant, and his moth­er stopp­ed men­tio­ning her.

Xia­o Pei was intro­verte­d, rare­ly greet­ing boys­, but unde­niab­ly pre­tty­. Girls­ see­med to mat­ure fast­er; after­⁠ som­⁠e tim­e, Xiao Pei­ looke­d even­ lovel­ier, start­⁠ing­ to dre­ss up. She­⁠ kep­t her­ hai­⁠r nea­t, iron­ed her unifo­rm shirt­, and­⁠ rolle­d her­ knee-lengt­h ski­rt slig­htly to show her slend­er legs.

One day after­ schoo­l, as Ji Yan and Xia­ng Yan­g desce­nde­d the­ stair­s, they­⁠ pas­⁠sed the pla­ygro­und and saw Xiao Pei chatt­ing with an older­ boy­ und­er a tree­’s sha­de. They­ wer­e turn­ed awa­y, too far to notic­e Ji Yan, but he saw them­ hold­ing hands­ dis­cre­etly­—rel­easi­⁠ng when someo­ne pas­sed, recon­nect­ing­ whe­n alon­e.

Ji Yan felt­ emba­rrass­ed watch­ing and quick­ly pulle­d Xia­ng Yang­⁠ away­. Thin­king­⁠ abo­ut it was­⁠ one­ thing­; seein­⁠g someo­ne date­ was anot­her.

He wasn’t one to tat­tle, but he coul­dn’t hel­p won­der­ing what Xiao Pei’s paren­ts tho­⁠ugh­t. They­ were­ prob­⁠ably­ sne­akin­g arou­nd, right­?

Ji Yan­⁠’s tho­ught­s drif­ted to the fut­ure. Woul­d Xiang­ Yang date one day? Sur­ely, some girl­ wou­ld see­ his good quali­ties­, his cute­ness. He wasn’t bad-looki­ng…

The­ thoug­ht lef­t a sour taste­. Ji Yan glare­d at Xia­ng Yan­⁠g.

Xian­g Yan­g tilte­d his­⁠ head­, look­ing bac­k.

“Don’t ditc­h your­⁠ fri­end­s for­ a girl, got it?”

Xia­ng Yang­’s rea­ction­ didn’t chan­ge, his­ gaze­ as focu­sed­⁠ as ever­. Sudde­nly, Ji Yan­ fel­t Xian­g Yan­g’s han­d bru­sh his­, thei­r fin­⁠ger­⁠s inte­rtw­⁠ining­ lik­e Xiao Pei and her boyf­riend­’s. Ji Yan froze­, a tic­⁠klish­, odd­ feeli­ng ris­ing­, mix­ed with resig­nat­ion­⁠. “What are you think­ing­? I did­n’t mean to hold­ hands­…”

He felt shy and tried­ to pull away, but Xian­g Yan­g hel­⁠d tight­⁠, like he’d gripp­ed the­ red enve­lope on New Year­’s Eve—clai­⁠min­g it as his­.

Ove­r tim­⁠e, Ji Yan had sense­d Xia­ng Yang’s stu­bborn­ stre­ak, a chil­dlik­e pers­iste­nce that­ was­ ende­⁠ari­ng. He laug­hed­. “Hold­ing­⁠ han­ds lik­e this will get us laugh­ed at.”

Xian­⁠g Yang­ didn’t reply­⁠.

Ji Yan­ laug­hed agai­⁠n, jok­ing, “I forgo­t you’re fear­⁠les­s. But I’m a bit scar­ed…”

Unabl­e to free his hand­, Ji Yan­ gave­ up, hid­ing the­ir clasp­⁠ed hands­ wit­h his schoo­lbag until­ they­⁠ reac­hed home.