BOSF 026: Competing for Attention

Afterward, Ji Yan’s face was still flushed. He got up to open the window, hoping to dissipate the room’s lingering scent.

Turning to Xiang Yang, he saw him looking calm, as if nothing embarrassing had just happened. Ji Yan wondered if Xiang Yang truly didn’t understand shame. Sitting beside him, new worries surfaced. The words he struggled to say rolled on his tongue before he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “Xiang Yang, what we just did… you can’t do that with anyone else, okay?”

“Mm.” Xiang Yang tilted his head, his profile still strikingly handsome. Whenever Ji Yan was in his sight, his gaze seemed to find its purpose.

Ji Yan’s face heated under his stare, his head dipping lower, but he pressed on. “Not outside, or where others are around…”

Xiang Yang hummed again, as if he’d agree to anything Ji Yan said.

“And… ugh, never mind.” Ji Yan felt he was asking too much. Blushing, he glanced up. “Only when I say it’s okay… got it?”

“Mm.” Xiang Yang leaned closer.

After their long separation and confirming their feelings, Ji Yan wasn’t the type to voice his affection—his parents never did either, and expecting Xiang Yang to confess was unthinkable. But Xiang Yang’s strength was his childlike or dog-like clinginess: he stuck close to those he liked and ignored those he didn’t. Ji Yan felt it intuitively. Despite his shyness, he lifted his head and pecked Xiang Yang’s lips.

The taste of young love was a bit sour, yet so sweet.

Showing up uninvited at Xiang Yang’s wasn’t ideal, but sneaking off like a thief felt wrong too. After ensuring they looked normal, Ji Yan sat with Xiang Yang in the living room, waiting for Li Lilian to notice him.

No matter how long Li Lilian played with Xiang Jie, she’d eventually emerge.

Around four in the afternoon, likely snack time for Xiang Jie, the room’s light went off, and Li Lilian came out holding the three-year-old. She wasn’t young anymore, and playing with a child was tiring, but the maternal love she’d once lost seemed to have returned, her face glowing. Seeing Ji Yan, she looked startled, then awkward, probably not expecting Xiang Yang to be with him again.

Ji Yan stood first, politely saying, “Auntie Li.”

“Mm, hello.” As neighbors, some courtesy remained. Li Lilian forced a smile, unable to hold a grudge against a kid after so long.

From her expression, Ji Yan could tell she’d had a falling out with his mother, likely over his inability to walk Xiang Yang to school. Lin Yueqin had seized the chance to offload Xiang Yang, and Li Lilian, offended, probably badmouthed Ji Yan to Xiang Yang, saying he didn’t want to play with him or had abandoned him. That explained her awkward reaction—not just surprise.

Having observed his parents for years, Ji Yan wasn’t a master at reading people but could decipher adults’ expressions. His heart ached for Xiang Yang, though he kept his face neutral. “Sorry for intruding. I… forgot my keys, so Xiang Yang brought me here…”

Forgetting his keys was an excuse. With his parents’ loud fights, Li Lilian likely knew what was happening.

They say fortunes reverse. Before Xiang Jie was born, Xiang Yang’s parents argued over him, fodder for Ji Yan’s family’s dinner gossip. Now, the tables had turned, and his family was the village’s laughingstock. Ji Yan’s mindset was odd, almost vengeful—he didn’t care about his parents’ embarrassment anymore.

As expected, Li Lilian didn’t probe, understanding the situation. “It’s fine. Stay a bit longer. I’m getting a snack for Xiang Jie—he didn’t eat much at lunch, probably hungry.”

Ji Yan nodded. “Go ahead, Auntie.”

As he looked away, he caught Xiang Jie’s curious, dark eyes staring at him.

During the summer before high school, Ji Yan had seen Li Lilian and Xiang Jie a few times but was too focused on finding Xiang Yang to notice the boy’s features. Now, he saw Xiang Jie resembled his mother. Held by Li Lilian, the small boy stared at this sudden stranger, quiet and well-behaved. As she carried him to the kitchen, he kept glancing back, looking adorable.

Sitting down, Ji Yan noticed Xiang Yang staring at him again. Used to it, he still sensed something different in Xiang Yang’s expression, though he couldn’t pinpoint it.

Noticing Xiang Yang’s clenched fingers, Ji Yan retraced his actions. He’d only looked at Xiang Jie a bit longer…

A thought struck him. No way—was Xiang Yang jealous of his brother? Jealousy didn’t seem quite right; it felt more like two kids vying for a parent’s favor, fearing one would be loved more.

Ji Yan found Xiang Yang adorable but soon felt a pang of sadness.

Xiang Yang was always the least favored at home, especially after Xiang Jie’s birth. Having someone care for him, he must fear Ji Yan preferring Xiang Jie.

Sighing helplessly, Ji Yan’s heart softened for Xiang Yang, as always. Unsure how to express himself, he reached for Xiang Yang’s hand.

But then, Xiang Jie ran barefoot from the kitchen.

Li Lilian’s voice followed. “Xiang Jie, don’t run around! Come eat your snack!”

Taking advantage of Li Lilian’s busyness, Xiang Jie had slipped away to see Ji Yan.

Kids are often shy but curious. Xiang Jie stood at a safe distance, staring with round eyes, expectant yet timid, like he wanted Ji Yan to play with him. Well-behaved kids his age were angelic.

Ji Yan’s gaze drifted to Xiang Jie.

Xiang Yang reacted, grabbing Ji Yan’s hand to reclaim his attention.

“Xiang Yang…” Ji Yan laughed, exasperated, patting Xiang Yang’s hand to reassure him. “Don’t worry…”

But Xiang Yang held on, staring intently.

Seeing their tug-of-war, Xiang Jie, like a child fighting for a new toy, rushed over and slapped Xiang Yang’s hand.

Smack—

The small child’s hit was weak, painless. But Xiang Yang let go, retreating as he always did—giving up his toys, his room, everything to Xiang Jie at home.

Shocked by Xiang Jie’s boldness, Ji Yan grabbed Xiang Yang’s hand back, saying softly to Xiang Jie, “How can you hit your brother?”

Anger flared in Ji Yan, but knowing a three-year-old didn’t understand, he wasn’t truly mad. No matter how cute Xiang Jie was, Ji Yan’s heart was with Xiang Yang—always would be.

Xiang Jie, unused to being scolded, might not have understood, but kids sense emotions. He stepped back, staring at Ji Yan. Unpraised and unloved, he likely found this strange哥哥 frightening and ran back to his mother in the kitchen.

Ji Yan’s heart ached. He rubbed where Xiang Jie had hit Xiang Yang, as if it could comfort him. Looking up, he saw Xiang Yang didn’t seem to care about the hit—only about Ji Yan, his gaze as gentle and focused as ever.

As evening neared, Ji Yan had to go home. The atmosphere there was bad, but he couldn’t shamelessly stay for dinner.

Though they lived across the hall, Xiang Yang still saw him to the door.

Ji Yan noticed Xiang Yang’s fingers clench—a nervous habit, though his face remained calm. Glancing into Xiang Yang’s home, Ji Yan saw Li Lilian cooking and Xiang Jie asleep on the couch, exhausted. Checking the stairwell for others, he pulled Xiang Yang down a step, out of his door’s peephole view, and cupped his face for a kiss.

He’d wanted to do this earlier. He ached for and adored this Xiang Yang.