CJLTNS Chapter 3

“Shifu¹ :Master, they went in. What do we do now?”

Xu Yuanyuan and Yu Xin were hiding in the greenery, watching their target walk into a villa. Two tall, sharply dressed security guards—each at least 1.8 meters tall—stood at the gate. There was also facial recognition at the entrance. No way they were sneaking in.

Xu Yuanyuan was assigned to Yu Xin by the entertainment company—part apprentice, part assistant, part driver, and part videographer. She had graduated less than a year ago, yet she was already juggling multiple roles.

Yu Xin sighed and looked at his apprentice. “Yuanyuan, let’s test your skills. What do you think we should do now?”

Xu Yuanyuan rolled her eyes internally. Why were all men online and in real life the same—always testing people?

But under the intimidating authority of her master, she dared only to think that and not say it out loud.

Yuanyuan stuck her head out of the greenery, looked around, then pulled back. “Master, maybe we could climb over the wall? It doesn’t look that high.”

Yu Xin held his head and cursed Feng Xiaohua a few times in his heart. Where the hell did she find this ridiculous idiot? So damn stupid.

“Shifu, do you have a headache again? I brought painkillers!”

Xu Yuanyuan spoke as she rummaged through her bag. Yu Xin sighed and stopped her hand. “Yuanyuan, what are we?”

Xu Yuanyuan looked at him with wide, innocent eyes and said, “We’re reporters. Entertainment reporters.”

Yu Xin nodded. “Good disciple, that’s right. Let me teach you — we’re reporters, not thieves or bandits. How could we do something illegal like climbing over walls? Besides, this is a high-end villa community. The surveillance here is definitely seamless. I bet we’d be caught by security the moment we got to the other side of the wall!”

Xu Yuanyuan sighed, sounding discouraged. “Then, Shifu, what should we do?”

Yu Xin looked around. Sure enough, it was a high-end neighborhood. The landscaping was beautiful, full of trees everywhere — way better than the place he lived in.

In his heart, he silently mocked these rich 208s with a mix of disdain, envy, and more envy. Then he pointed to the trees and said, “Yuanyuan, ever climbed a tree before?”

Under Yu Xin’s expectant gaze, Xu Yuanyuan shook her head. “No. My mom would scold me if I did.”

Who the hell hasn’t climbed a tree as a kid? Such a free-spirited and joyful thing — how could someone resist the urge to do it?

Yu Xin suddenly remembered that Jiang Chong, that stiff piece of wood, also never climbed trees as a child. He glanced at Xu Yuanyuan with even more disappointment.

Out of concern for his disciple’s fragile self-esteem, Yu Xin didn’t say anything mean out loud. After all, this silly, sweet girl couldn’t read facial expressions to save her life. As long as he didn’t say it directly, she’d never notice.

Yu Xin patted Xu Yuanyuan on the shoulder and said in a solemn, mission-imparting tone, “Yuanyuan, tree climbing is a basic skill for entertainment reporters. Shifu will teach you.”

Yu Xin led Xu Yuanyuan around until they found a satisfactory tree — straight trunk, lush canopy — and with his many years of tree-climbing experience, he could tell at a glance this was a good one.

“Yuanyuan, push with all your strength!”

Yu Xin braced himself in a horse stance under the tree, with Xu Yuanyuan’s size-37 shoes pressing onto his skinny shoulders. He slowly stood up, gritting his teeth and pushing her upward.

It was her first time climbing a tree, and Xu Yuanyuan’s legs were shaking. She was so nervous that she started sweating, and the more nervous she got, the weaker her hands and feet became.

“Grab the trunk with both hands, and push up with your right foot!”

Yu Xin felt the weight on his shoulders getting lighter. Finally, those size-37 shoes lifted off him, and he let out a long sigh of relief. With his hands on his hips, he panted heavily, already making a mental note to talk to Xu Yuanyuan about losing weight once she got back down.

With Yu Xin’s constant encouragement, Xu Yuanyuan finally climbed to the top of the tree. She clung tightly to a branch with one hand, and with the other — trembling — she held her camera, trying to capture images of the villa.

“Shifu, it’s no good, they’ve closed the curtains!”

Squatting on the ground and drinking water, Yu Xin replied, “That’s normal. They’re celebrities. Drawing the curtains is basic protocol.”

Xu Yuanyuan was a little disappointed. After all the effort she put into climbing the tree, and now she couldn’t even get a shot.

“Shifu, so what do we do now?”

After finishing his water, Yu Xin pulled out a pack of soda crackers from his bag and began munching on them — crunch, crunch, like a squirrel chewing nuts.

“Don’t rush. One word: wait. They can’t possibly keep the curtains closed 24/7.”

Xu Yuanyuan nodded. Hearing the sound of Yu Xin eating made her hungry too. “Shifu, do you have more in your bag? Toss me a couple?”

Still chewing, Yu Xin shook his head. “No can do. While staking out, it’s best not to eat or drink. What if they open the curtains and you’re climbing down to go to the bathroom? That’d be a total miss.”

“Alright then…”

After finishing the whole pack of crackers, Yu Xin looked up and saw the lifeless expression on Xu Yuanyuan’s face.

“Good disciple, once you get the shot, Shifu will take you to eat something nice!”

At the mention of good food, Xu Yuanyuan’s eyes lit up instantly, full of motivation again — she looked like a furious wife catching her cheating husband.

They waited from dusk until after 10 p.m. Xu Yuanyuan had yawned countless times up in the tree, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Now perched on a branch, she wasn’t scared at all like earlier.

“Shifu, are you still awake?”

In the darkness came Yu Xin’s voice: “I’m here, my good disciple!”

Smack!

That was the 13th mosquito Yu Xin had killed that evening. It was only May and not even hot yet — why were there so many mosquitoes? Had some scientist developed cold-resistant breeds?

As Yu Xin was thinking about buying a bottle of floral water tomorrow, he suddenly heard Xu Yuanyuan’s urgent voice from the tree: “Shifu, the curtains are open!”

“Quick, take pictures!”

Xu Yuanyuan grabbed the camera hanging across her chest, and the flash went off repeatedly, like a Cannes red carpet. She fired off more than thirty shots in one go.

“Shifu, I got them!”

Just as Xu Yuanyuan was about to climb down, Yu Xin stopped her: “Yuanyuan, don’t come down yet — toss me the camera first, let me check.”

“Okay!”

Yu Xin caught the camera and quickly reviewed the photos — there were clear face shots, hugging, kissing. Absolutely excellent. A perfect set of explosive pictures.

He slipped the camera into his bag, assumed his horse stance again, and patted his shoulders. “Come down.”

Xu Yuanyuan stretched out her right foot, tapping around on his shoulders like she was dancing a waltz. Yu Xin sighed. If he didn’t help her, she’d probably still be spinning by the time the music stopped.

He grabbed her ankle and placed her foot firmly on his shoulder. Suddenly the weight pressed down on him again — his stance nearly gave out. Once again, he vowed to have a serious conversation about weight loss with her.

As soon as Xu Yuanyuan landed on the ground, Yu Xin opened his mouth to tell her they could go eat now — but she bounced away like a rabbit: “Shifu, Shifu! I need to go to the bathroom first!”

Yu Xin waited outside the public restroom with two backpacks. After quite a while, Xu Yuanyuan finally came out, having relieved herself.

She took her bag back from Yu Xin and rubbed her belly. “Shifu, what delicious food are you taking me to eat?”

Yu Xin deliberately played mysterious. “Come on, you’ll see when we get there.”

It was nearly midnight, yet the place was still bustling with people. Xu Yuanyuan pouted and pointed at the lively food stall in front of them. “Shifu, is this the good stuff you were talking about?”

Yu Xin pulled out a chair while ordering. Only after finishing the order did he reply, “Just wait—you’ll be satisfied for sure.”

The food came quickly: a plate of spicy stir-fried crayfish, steamed fish, a dish of stir-fried greens, and a pot of seafood congee. Yu Xin used the ladle to serve a bowl of congee for Xu Yuanyuan. “Eat.”

Kangzhou City was near the sea, and Xu Yuanyuan was a local who had grown up eating seafood. Every household drank seafood congee. She took a casual sip, but the incredibly rich flavor instantly filled her mouth. Her eyes widened as she gave Yu Xin a big thumbs-up. “Shifu, this is so good!”

Seeing her devour the food like a hungry wolf, Yu Xin smiled. “Of course. I promised you something good—how could I let you down?”

Xu Yuanyuan put on gloves and launched into battle with the crayfish. They were spicy and tender, and the steamed fish was so fresh it felt like her eyebrows might fall off. Like a gluttonous beast, she kept stuffing food into her mouth.

Yu Xin watched her face dripping with oil, and ultimately swallowed back the words he was about to say about dieting. Oh well—being able to eat is a blessing. A disciple who eats well is a good one!

Noticing the small mountain of crayfish shells in front of her and Yu Xin’s spotless table, Xu Yuanyuan suddenly felt a bit guilty. She peeled the last few crayfish and placed them in a clean bowl, then pushed it toward Yu Xin. “Shifu, here—eat.”

Yu Xin looked at the crayfish soaked in chili oil and shook his head. “I can’t handle spicy food. You go ahead.”

So I wasn’t stealing Shifu’s share—he just doesn’t eat spicy food. That made Xu Yuanyuan feel much less guilty, and she happily polished off the rest. After the meal, she was so full she could barely walk.

By the time they finished, it was already midnight. Yu Xin drove Xu Yuanyuan to her doorstep.

“Shifu, bye-bye!”

Xu Yuanyuan waved as she walked backward toward her house, nearly tripping on the steps. Yu Xin covered his eyes, speechless.

No wonder she was still an intern nearly a year after graduation. No wonder he was already her eighth mentor. Yu Xin silently cursed Feng Xiaohua again in his mind, laughing as he rolled up the car window.

On the way back, there were fewer cars on the road. Yu Xin gripped the steering wheel with one hand, a cigarette between the fingers of the other, leaning against the window. The white smoke drifted into the wind. In the rearview mirror, he saw the glowing tip of his cigarette about to burn out—and also a white car trailing behind him.

From the street food stall until now, that white car had been following behind, but Yu Xin didn’t seem to mind. He kept driving as if he hadn’t noticed the tail.

---

The next day, Yu Xin walked into the office of Joy Media, yawning. Xu Yuanyuan, sitting in a corner, immediately stood up and handed him a thermos cup.
“Shifu, you’re here!”

Yu Xin nodded toward Xu Yuanyuan, took the cup, and walked straight into the innermost office.

“Hey! I told you to knock before you come in, didn’t I?”

Behind the desk sat a chubby man, about 170 cm tall and probably weighing 170 pounds too. Yu Xin didn’t respond, just pulled out a chair, sat across from him, and lazily propped his long legs on the desk.

“Hey, Yu Xin, I’m your boss, you know? Your salary comes from me.”

Yu Xin took out a camera from his bag and handed it over.
“Feng Xiaohua, take a look.”

Feng Xiaohua took the camera, grumbling as he did:
“How many times do I have to tell you, call me President Feng. Got it?”

God knows what Feng Xiaohua’s parents were thinking when they gave him that… such an indescribable name. The first time Yu Xin saw the dorm list back in college, he thought the school had accidentally assigned a girl to the boys’ dorm.

While Feng Xiaohua was flipping through the photos, Yu Xin unscrewed the thermos. A rich aroma of soy milk wafted out. Yu Xin nodded in approval—his satisfaction with Xu Yuanyuan rose another notch. The girl might be clumsy, but at least she was obedient. She never slacked on a single instruction from her master.

Every day she brought him soy milk from her family’s breakfast shop—good for the stomach and full of calcium.

“Nice! With these photos, today’s trending search is ours!”

Feng Xiaohua, now looking at Yu Xin like he was a walking pile of gold, couldn’t care less about his lack of office etiquette. He paced around Yu Xin, so excited he looked like he might kiss him. But after seeing Yu Xin’s wary expression, he gave up on that idea.

Yu Xin really couldn’t understand Feng Xiaohua’s excitement. Back in university, Feng had idolized some top paparazzi in the entertainment industry, vowing to become the number one exposer of celebrity scandals. Unfortunately, his body had other plans—he couldn’t even run 500 meters carrying a camera, let alone chase celebrities through mountains and oceans.

His physical limitations didn’t stop his paparazzi dreams, though. He poured his entire fortune into starting this entertainment media company, recruited four or five college students, and built a rickety team.

But reality was cruel. Over the past six years since graduation, Feng Xiaohua’s company barely stayed afloat, mostly digging up gossip about D-list celebrities. In the vast world of showbiz, they barely made a splash.

That changed two months ago when Yu Xin returned to the country and joined Feng Xiaohua’s team. After half a month of stakeouts, they finally captured a photo of a famous director kissing a trending starlet, giving Huanxi Media its first moment of fame in the entertainment industry.

By the tenth time Feng Xiaohua circled the office, Yu Xin couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Xiaohua, do you really love gossip that much?”

Feng Xiaohua stopped in his tracks, looked at Yu Xin with a grave expression as if Yu Xin couldn’t possibly understand his suffering.
“Yu Xin, you don’t get it. Gossip is like a stimulant for humanity. Even the sleepiest person can perk up when they hear juicy news. Once they’re energized, their work efficiency goes up. And if everyone’s working efficiently, won’t society develop even faster?”

Yu Xin put his feet down, stood up, and patted Feng Xiaohua on the shoulder with a solemn nod.
“Truly noble. Humanity is counting on you. Don’t forget to pay me, though.”

He picked up his backpack and headed out.

Feng Xiaohua quickly called after him, “Where are you going now?”

Without looking back, Yu Xin replied lazily,
“I’m going to contribute to the development of society. Heard a certain top-tier celeb is making moves. I’m going to trail him.”

Another big scoop! Feng Xiaohua clenched his fist in support and cheered him on,
“Go get ’em! I’ll be waiting for your good news!”

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