Chapter 2 – I’ll Write It Down For You To See

In the car on the way home, Li Tang opened the WeChat group, where it was eerily silent.

There was no evening self-study at the international school. At this time, everyone would usually gather to play together. Forget sending messages, even calls couldn’t get through.

Bored, he scrolled through his phone for a while. When he arrived home and got out of the car, he saw that the house was dark, as if no one was living there. Li Tang felt even more depressed.

Entering the house, the nanny hurried upstairs from the basement maid’s room. “Hungry, right? Want to…”

“No.”

Li Tang headed upstairs without turning back. When he reached the door of his room, he remembered that he had left his backpack at the door and turned back downstairs to retrieve it. Halfway down, he encountered the nanny carrying his backpack. Li Tang reluctantly took it from her, and his attitude softened. “I ate at school… I’m not hungry.”

The nanny smiled. “No problem, call me whenever you’re hungry.”

Looking at the tightly closed door at the end of the hallway as he returned to his room, Li Tang hesitated for a moment but ultimately didn’t knock.

For the first time in his life, he came home so late from school. As soon as he entered his room, Li Tang threw himself onto the bed. His nerves, taut throughout the day in this unfamiliar environment, finally relaxed. As he closed his eyes, exhaustion swept over him.

Xucheng No.1 High School… Xucheng…

He remembered having been to this place before. Was he five or six years old?

Why? It seemed that his mother had come back to her hometown for a short stay. At that young age, he thought his mother had left him and wouldn’t return. He cried and begged his father to take him to find his mother. His father sternly told him not to run around everywhere, so he asked the nanny at home to take him to Xucheng. Later… What happened later?

Later, he fell sick with a fever and forgot many things.

Anyway, in the end, his mother was found by him.

He couldn’t remember when it started, but before he fell ill, it seemed that his mother, Zhang Zhaoyue, rarely left the house. Sometimes he couldn’t even see her at the dinner table.

But at least she was still there, still by his side.

Feeling reassured amidst his hazy thoughts, Li Tang closed his eyes and sank into a dream.

On the other side, Jiang Lou walked home, put down his backpack, put on a work jacket, and left the house.

The early autumn evenings in Xucheng were cool. By the time he approached his destination, Jiang Lou put on his mask and zipped up his jacket.

Several kilometers away from the city center, on a deserted road on the outskirts, Jiang Lou crossed through the factory buildings and turned into a staircase leading underground.

It was still dim inside. As he moved forward, the rumbling gradually grew louder. Showing his pass to the security guard-like figure at the entrance, Jiang Lou gripped the metal railing and pulled open the heavy iron door. The muffled noise, like a blanket covering everything, instantly transformed into a roaring tide, surging toward him like a tsunami.

Mixed with various breaths, sweat, and even the scent of blood.

Without looking at the stage, he walked past the layers of people toward another passage, entering a place similar to a lounge. Jiang Lou walked straight to his locker, opened it, and changed clothes.

His equipment was simple; he only needed to wear a mouthguard and boxing gloves.

In the middle of the process, Old Zhang, the manager of the boxing gym, came over and handed him a protective helmet. “Put it on. Here, it’s mainly for performance, there’s no need to go all out.”

Jiang Lou didn’t respond, took the helmet, and placed it aside. People came here to see the cruel reality. Nobody wanted to spend money watching a show of amateurish boxing skills.

Seeing that he wouldn’t listen to advice, Old Zhang sighed. “I still don’t know if letting you come here was a mistake.”

Old Zhang used to be a colleague of Jiang Lou’s father in the trucking company. After Jiang Lou’s father passed away, he pitied Jiang Lou’s lonely situation and often took care of him. Later, he gave up driving large trucks and returned to his old profession, opening a boxing gym. Jiang Lou somehow heard about it and proposed joining.

This line of work was fiercely competitive, filled with people who were desperate and willing to risk their lives. Initially, Old Zhang naturally disagreed. But Jiang Lou repeatedly brought it up, refusing to give up no matter how much persuasion he received. He promised to focus on his studies, not participate in competitions, and only fight three times a week. Old Zhang couldn’t persuade him otherwise and reluctantly agreed.

“How could it be.”

Jiang Lou was wrapping bandages around his hands. It’s easier to reveal flaws on hands than on faces. He didn’t want to be questioned by teachers tomorrow.

Old Zhang regretted more and more. “Your grades are so good, winning scholarships every year, why endure hardship here?”

“How much is the scholarship? You can’t live off it forever.” Jiang Lou said, “Besides, this isn’t suffering for me.”

Old Zhang wanted to say something else, but Jiang Lou’s phone rang beside him. Jiang Lou waved his hand, signaling him to answer the call first, and walked away.

Picking up the phone and taking a look, it was an unknown number.

Answering it, the voice on the other end was that of a girl. “Is this classmate Jiang Lou?”

“Mm.”

“Sorry for disturbing you so late, I’m Wang Yan from Class 2… Do you remember?”

“Yes.”

“My number is from a classmate of yours. Calling you so late is to apologize… Sorry, confessing to you today was actually because I lost a bet with a classmate.”

“I know.”

“But, but what I said was sincere.”

“Which part was sincere?”

The girl’s voice weakened, trembling slightly. “I, I like you.”

“Is that so.”

“Yes… Don’t you believe it?”

Jiang Lou’s tone was light-hearted, but there were no ripples in his eyes, not a trace of a smile.

“Believe it,” he said. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Five minutes later, Jiang Lou walked down the path leading to the boxing ring. The light ahead seemed to guide him toward the end of heaven or the depths of hell.

Similarly, he preferred performing here, on this stage.

Even the usually noisy cheers and screams made him feel a complete, shuddering reality that ran through his entire body.

Like a dream.

On Wednesday afternoon, there was a PE class.

For public high school students, music, sports, and art classes were scarce. Every time one occurred, it was one less.

When he was dragged to the basketball court by classmates he had known for less than two days, Li Tang was quite helpless. “I really don’t know how to play ball.”

The reason he didn’t flat-out refuse was similar to the motivation for treating everyone to milk tea. He needed friends in his new school.

“Just play casually,” said Zhou Dongze, a bulky male student, coaxing him. “You’ll learn as you play.”

Class Monitor Li Zichu also persuaded him. “Yes, just play casually, don’t feel pressured.”

Li Tang didn’t feel any pressure. He simply didn’t want to move. He disliked sweating. If not for fear of embarrassment, he wished he could join the circle of girls chatting on the sidelines of the playground. All he needed was a place to sit.

In a dilemma, he saw a familiar figure walking past the field. Li Tang saw him as a savior. “Let Jiang Lou play. He’s taller than me.”

Li Zichu followed his line of sight and shook his head. “He won’t do.”

Zhou Dongze also looked in that direction. “He indeed won’t do.”

Li Tang thought there might be some conflict between them. After all, a guy like Jiang Lou, who was extremely popular among girls, would either be idolized or despised among the boys.

But according to Li Tang’s observations, neither seemed to be the case. Even though the second-year classes had just been reorganized, Jiang Lou already had several friends in his class. For instance, the classmate named Huo Xichen who walked alongside him, this morning when he was late, it was Huo Xichen who collected his math homework.

Moreover, on the second day of school, the last row of Group 4 became a bustling place. Apart from those who came to ask Jiang Lou math questions, there were also idle boys who had nowhere else to go. During breaks, instead of going outside to play or resting in their seats, they loved to come over to Jiang Lou’s area. Some sat on desks, some leaned on windowsills, some stood on chairs… Within ten minutes, they could shift the topic from the latest football matches to new anime series, diverse and unrestricted by the boundaries of the campus.

Jiang Lou sometimes sat, sometimes gave his seat to others. He stood leaning against the wall with his arms folded, his eyes half-closed, listening to their chatter without falling asleep, occasionally interjecting a couple of sentences.

And when the warning bell rang, when Jiang Lou announced the end, even if everyone was still eager for more, no one objected to his command. Before leaving, they didn’t forget to straighten his desk and chairs and wipe the chairs clean.

This was probably what they called having good popularity. Although Li Tang had also enjoyed the conveniences brought by his appearance, he still needed the support of financial resources. He was very aware that if not for his wealth, those people wouldn’t even spare him a glance.

So, what hidden troubles did someone as outstanding and nearly perfect as Jiang Lou have?

“Why won’t he do?” Li Tang asked.

“He doesn’t hear well,” Li Zichu pointed to his left ear. “This side, he can’t hear sounds.”

Zhou Dongze continued. “Basketball requires teamwork. At least you have to hear the direction of the ball and your teammates’ cues, right?”

Until the last class of the afternoon, Li Tang kept pondering how “not hearing well” was just how bad it was. Could he truly not hear anything at all?

No wonder he sat in the last row by the window of Group 4, regardless of where the teacher lectured in the classroom, ensuring that his healthy ear caught the sound first.

He also sat on his right side.

Li Tang still found it hard to believe. Before this, he hadn’t noticed that Jiang Lou was half-deaf. Did the girls who liked him know about this? Did they have to find the right angle to confess, ensuring he could hear?

How did it happen? Was it congenital?

And weren’t people with poor hearing supposed to wear… hearing aids?

The more he thought about it, the more perplexed he became. Li Tang couldn’t resist repeatedly turning his head, trying to find answers to the questions that arose one after another through observation.

Naturally, Jiang Lou noticed the probing gaze from his deskmate.

He guessed that Li Tang must have heard something about him from other classmates. It could be about being parentless, or it could be about his deafness.

Over the years, Jiang Lou had been scrutinized countless times by various curious gazes. In the end, these gazes would transform into something resembling regret, pity, or even sympathy.

He was long accustomed to it.

Therefore, he buried himself in his books without showing any reaction. Until that gaze, emboldened by his indulgence, became increasingly bold, he unexpectedly turned his face to the right without any warning.

This unexpected catch indeed scared Li Tang so much that he nearly jumped up. Hurriedly, he picked up a book and pretended to read.

Jiang Lou didn’t expose him. He just stared at Li Tang, continuing to stare until the thin earlobe turned red as if it was about to burn. Then, he spared him, saying, “Your English is excellent.”

Li Tang was still flustered, blurting out an “Ah” in confusion. He had completely forgotten that on the first day of school, the homeroom teacher had announced his good English grades to the entire class.

Jiang Lou didn’t intend to elaborate further. His gaze shifted to the notebook on Li Tang’s desk. “Can I borrow your notes to take a look?”

Before evening self-study, there was an hour of free activity time.

Huo Xichen followed Jiang Lou into the empty office, witnessing Jiang Lou put down the stack of papers he was holding and then flip through the files stacked on the homeroom teacher’s desk. Only then did Huo Xichen realize, “I was wondering why you personally collected the homework. It turns out you were…”

Actually, Huo Xichen didn’t know what Jiang Lou was looking for. He peeked over and saw a stack of student information sheets for Class 1, Grade 2. These had just been collected this morning, containing the household registration information and family situations of each student.

Flipping to Jiang Lou’s page, Huo Xichen saw the slashes drawn across the entries for his parents. Before he could sigh, the page was quickly flipped over. The next one was Li Tang’s, with almost every column filled with content. One could tell at a glance that it was an incredibly complete family.

Seeing Jiang Lou linger on this page for a long time, Huo Xichen assumed he was envious and awkwardly comforted him, “It’s actually nothing. Nowadays, with the divorce rate so high, you see several classmates who either lack a father or a mother. Even if their parents are both present on the surface, they may not be the original pair.”

These were heartfelt words. Huo Xichen’s own family was in this situation. His father remarried and brought home a stepmother, who also brought him a half-brother.

And unfortunately for him, this brother, who was only a few months older than him, was in the same class.

Thinking about this made Huo Xichen shudder. Immediately, he clung to his new friend’s leg. “Want to play ball after school? We don’t rely on shouting. Even if you can’t hear, it’s not…”

“No,” Jiang Lou let go, placing the documents back in their original position as he straightened his body. “I have something to do tonight. You guys play.”

But when he arrived at the underground boxing gym that evening, there was no arrangement for him to fight.

“Got drunk at noon and lost my head. I accidentally left you out when arranging the combat list,” Old Zhang said. “Go home early and rest tonight.”

Jiang Lou knew Old Zhang was intentional. If it were usual circumstances, he would argue his case, stubbornly staying here to wait. Most likely, Old Zhang wouldn’t be able to resist him. But today, he couldn’t be bothered to argue.

Returning home, he lay down on the bed, but couldn’t fall asleep.

Rolling over in the darkness, Jiang Lou sat up, using the light seeping in from the window. He opened the lowest drawer of his desk and rummaged through a pile of crumpled paper to find one with handwriting.

The old house at the foot of the mountain was damp. Years of being hidden from sunlight had turned the paper yellow, emitting a musty, rotten smell.

Still, the words on it could be barely distinguished.

The child’s immature handwriting, each stroke crooked but forceful, penetrating the paper, indicating earnestness.

Jiang Lou took out an English notebook from his backpack and placed it next to this piece of paper. The name on the cover of the notebook matched perfectly with the one on the paper.

The only difference was twelve years ago and twelve years later.

Even if doing so was meaningless, at most, it was like stamping a steel seal on an established fact, making it so concrete that it couldn’t be questioned.

Reclining back in the chair, Jiang Lou exhaled, seemingly closing his eyes powerlessly.

A tender, childish voice echoed in the vast emptiness of his mind.

“My name is Li Tang, Dawn Li, Autumn Begonia Tang. I’ll write it down for you to see.”

“My mother’s name is Zhang Zhaoyue. Have you ever met her, big brother?”

In the darkness, Jiang Lou chuckled.

For just a fleeting moment, the world returned to a deathly silence.