Chapter 20 – Undivided Attention

A new week began, and Li Tang walked into the classroom with light steps, as if he was spreading sunshine everywhere he went.

Except for his deskmate’s territory.

Ever since morning reading class, Li Zichu had been lying motionless on his desk, not even bothering to enforce discipline as he usually did. Now, when people at the back were talking loudly, he didn’t care.

Li Tang played with his phone, and Li Zichu didn’t even glance over. He was acting so out of character that it made one wonder if he was sick.

After class, Li Tang poked Li Zichu’s shoulder worriedly. “Do you need me to ask for leave for you?”

Li Zichu’s face buried in his arms, he said weakly, “It’s nothing, just let me be alone for a bit.”

Li Tang fell silent, even flipping through his book gently.

After turning two pages, he slowly realized something was off.

Turning to look, Li Zichu’s hair, which had grown a little longer, was now cut down to the scalp, even shorter than his previous buzz cut.

Wasn’t he supposed to get a hairstyle? Why did he cut it again?

Confused, Li Tang wondered if perhaps the person who found his hair annoying no longer did.

During break time, Li Zichu stayed in the classroom instead of going to the playground, leaving Li Tang unable to find a chance to talk to him.

However, there was still eye candy to enjoy—Jiang Lou, tall and standing at the end of the line, Li Tang took rhythmic “peeks” during exercise turns.

Thinking he was being discreet, during one rotation, he twisted his waist to see Jiang Lou hadn’t turned around, instead looking at him with a knowing smile on his face.

Embarrassed, Li Tang held his neck tight and dared not turn back, his ears turning red as two boiled shrimps.

On the way back to the classroom after the exercises, Li Tang’s shoulder was tapped. It was Su Qinhan from Class 2, squeezing her way up to him from the ranks.

“Ex-deskmate,” she still called Li Tang that, “I heard you can play the piano?”

Caught off guard, Li Tang asked, “…Who told you?”

“Huo Xichen, of course, who else? He said you have a piano at home.”

“I learned a little when I was young.”

“Do you know how to play ‘Song of the Lark’?”

“…Yes.”

Li Tang remembered this piece; he had chosen to play a segment of it during an exam. At the time, he thought it sounded beautiful and learned the entire song.

“That’s great!” Su Qinhan exclaimed happily, “For next month’s New Year’s Eve party, can you accompany me on the piano? I’m going to dance to this song.”

Li Tang had heard Li Zichu explain the New Year’s Eve party at Xucheng No.1 High School—a gathering where teachers and students sign up to perform, held around New Year’s Day every year.

“Why not just play a backing track?” Li Tang asked.

Su Qinhan pursed her lips. “That feels so impersonal, our school’s sound system is terrible, it’s dry and unsuitable for dancing.”

Li Tang was about to say something when Su Qinhan preemptively added, “But the piano is really good, it was tuned last week, the tone is fantastic.”

“…” Li Tang was momentarily speechless, “But I haven’t played in a long time, what if I hold you back…”

“From now on, every week during PE class, come practice with me in the music room, I’ve already talked to the teacher.” Su Qinhan winked at him, “And it doesn’t have to be practice every time, we can bring our phones and chill.”

Li Tang felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Su Qinhan continued to entice him, “And performing at the New Year’s Eve party qualifies you for the winter camp.”

As for the winter camp, Li Tang had heard of it too—it was a vacation prepared for the top thirty students in the grade. A real vacation, no military training, no university tours, no messy lectures or research projects, just pure fun.

Therefore, this activity was quite popular among the students of Xucheng No.1 High School. Later, they opened up the conditions and also rewarded some students who made “special contributions” to the school with entry into the winter camp.

Li Tang had participated in countless similar group activities since he was young, even going to overseas study camps a dozen times. He wasn’t particularly interested in Xucheng No.1 High School’s somewhat stingy domestic travel holiday.

But Jiang Lou would go.

With two consecutive monthly exams, Jiang Lou consistently ranked in the top twenty.

Traveling with Jiang Lou was a huge temptation.

Su Qinhan could see Li Tang wavering and added another point, “And besides, look how pitiful I am after my recent breakup.”

Li Tang: “…”

Although a failed confession isn’t a breakup, but…

Seeing that he was about to be convinced, Su Qinhan pressed her advantage. “Then it’s settled, I’ll prepare drinks and snacks, all you need to do is show up.”

Without waiting for Li Tang’s agreement, she turned and returned to Class 2.

Wednesday afternoon’s PE class was divided by the two main subject teachers, but Li Tang escaped due to a legitimate reason.

He had downloaded and printed the sheet music for “Song of the Lark” in advance and arrived early at the music room in the comprehensive building to practice.

He wanted to practice at home but decided against it, fearing it might disturb his mother’s rest.

After practicing twice, Su Qinhan arrived, carrying a large bag of snacks.

She even changed into her dancing costume, layers of feathers magnificent like clouds. Tall and slender, Su Qinhan looked elegant yet playful.

First, Li Tang played slowly, matching the dance moves, then they practiced in sections, refining details together.

Su Qinhan asked Li Tang for his opinion, and Li Tang offered a few suggestions. After modifying them, the results were indeed better.

“Ex-deskmate, your aesthetic is great, completely different from those stinky boys!” Su Qinhan praised without reservation.

Li Tang thought to himself that it might be because he was gay and seized the opportunity to suggest, “Can you stop calling me ex-deskmate…?”

It always made him think of Jiang Lou.

Su Qinhan keenly understood his meaning, visibly wilting.

Li Tang didn’t forget that she was someone who had just gone through a “breakup.” Observing her for a while, he cautiously asked, “Are…you okay?”

Su Qinhan paused. “What can I do if I’m not? Life goes on regardless.”

She rallied her spirits and lifted her skirt. “So instead of wasting time daydreaming, let’s do something meaningful…Come on, Xiao Tang, play!”

Li Tang shivered at the new nickname, consoling himself that it was fine as it was, at least it was better than “ex-deskmate.”

Forty-five minutes passed, and after dancing to her heart’s content, Su Qinhan stuffed the large bag of snacks into Li Tang’s hands, put on her coat, and was about to leave.

Li Tang couldn’t eat so much, so he followed her out with the stuff, bumping into Huo Xichen at the door.

He and Su Qinhan stood together, chatting and laughing, the atmosphere harmonious.

Li Tang suddenly remembered that Huo Xichen had pursued Su Qinhan before.

And now that Su Qinhan had been rejected by Jiang Lou and didn’t seem to intend to continue pursuing him, Huo Xichen now had another chance. After all, it was said that when people were disappointed in love, they were most vulnerable to being taken advantage of.

What about Li Zichu?

No wonder he had been so depressed recently, even shaving his head—without anyone to touch it, it naturally wouldn’t feel prickly anymore.

Back in the classroom, Li Tang placed the bag of snacks under the desk. When Li Zichu kicked it with his leg, he glanced down and then looked away.

Li Tang guessed he knew where the snacks came from and immediately clarified his stance. “I was just practicing with Su Qinhan, I’m not taking her side.”

This amused Li Zichu. “You’re not putting up a ‘no silver is buried here’ banner, are you?”

Li Tang pondered, “That phrase means ‘attempting to cover up the truth, only to reveal it.’ What I said was the truth, using that phrase isn’t right.”

Li Zichu laughed even harder, tears streaming down his face. “Looks like you’ve been studying Chinese well recently.”

He told Li Tang that he never considered Su Qinhan a rival from the start.

“Feelings are about mutual consent. She may not even know about me, why should I bother competing with her?”

Li Tang found him remarkably open-minded and clear-headed. Just as he was about to express his admiration, he saw Li Zichu raise his hand to cover his eyes and curse, “Damn it, I’m so pissed.”

Not wanting others to see his tears, Li Zichu gritted his teeth. “I wasted my eighteen-year-old first kiss.”

Li Tang: “…”

Li Zichu knew Li Tang had heard about him and Huo Xichen from Jiang Lou and warned, “Birds of a feather flock together, watch out for Jiang Lou becoming a scumbag under his influence.”

Embarrassed, Li Tang said, “I’m not in that kind of relationship with Jiang Lou.”

The freshly cried Li Zichu glared at him with red eyes. “Then why did you go to watch him during the sports meet and ask for leave for him?”

“…”Just out of concern.”

“Mm-hmm, concern between ordinary friends.”

“…”

Saying that, the next PE class, while playing the piano in the music room, Li Tang absentmindedly wondered, are Jiang Lou and I just friends?

How can friends kiss each other on the mouth?

Once distracted, he frequently hit the wrong notes.

Fortunately, today Su Qinhan had to make a trip to the radio station, so she left halfway through the class. Li Tang practiced alone in the vast classroom, taking breaks when tired, gazing out the window at the trees and clouds.

It reminded him of when he used to play the piano at his teacher’s house. The same second floor, looking out at roughly the same height, a similar window view.

At that time, he always wondered when his mother would come pick him up, and whether she would wear a beautiful dress today.

In order to please Zhang Zhaoyue, Li Tang once learned to play the theme song from the movie Titanic. Zhang Zhaoyue loved this movie and often played the Blu-ray disc at home. Li Tang had watched it several times, and whenever the intimate scenes between the lead actors appeared, Zhang Zhaoyue would cover his eyes with her soft hand.

Recalling that scene, his fingers moved on the keys, and a clear, flowing melody emerged.

At the climax, Li Tang forgot the score and was stuck, then suddenly heard applause. Turning his head, he saw Zhou Dongze standing at the door.

Smiling, he walked in. “Turns out you’re such a great pianist.”

Li Tang was modest. “No, I missed a few notes.”

“You’re too humble.” Zhou Dongze said, “When I was a kid, my mom forced me to learn the piano for a while. I really had no interest and no talent. My dad would watch me practice with a feather duster every day. I’d sit there and fall asleep while playing. After a semester, I could barely play ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.'”

Li Tang sympathized. “Learning an instrument is always boring at the beginning, I hated practicing the piano when I was a kid too.”

“Listening, you don’t hate it, right?”

“Of course, piano music is all beautiful.”

“In that case, I guess I didn’t choose the wrong gift.” Zhou Dongze pulled out two tickets from his school pants pocket. “Sunday, Xucheng Concert Hall, a piano recital, do you have time to grace me with your presence?”

Stunned, Li Tang glanced at the tickets. They were for a concert by a renowned pianist, the kind that would be hard to get in the capital.

He didn’t know if he should accept and hesitantly said, “These tickets must have cost a lot, right?”

“Just tell me if you have time,” Zhou Dongze said, “Last time, I promised to make up for your birthday. I didn’t know what you liked, so I thought about it and figured this wouldn’t go wrong. Now it seems I chose correctly. You play the piano so well, you must appreciate it more.”

Facing Zhou Dongze’s almost eager gaze, Li Tang felt caught between a rock and a hard place.

He wasn’t particularly slow either. Zhou Dongze had sent him roses before, let him rest on the sidelines during basketball games, and arranged for him to work at the radio station during the sports meet. These things had already alerted him. Moreover, last week, Zhou Dongze had said a long speech out of worry for him.

In Li Tang’s eyes, Zhou Dongze was always gentle and polite, generous and fair to classmates and friends. Saying those things was akin to maligning Jiang Lou. If not truly worried, he certainly wouldn’t “gossip behind someone’s back.”

Li Tang appreciated his kindness and truly regarded him as a friend, but privately going to listen to a recital together, under the guise of making up for a birthday, was a bit too much.

He didn’t want to develop that kind of relationship with Zhou Dongze.

But Li Tang was least skilled at refusing. As a child, he would toss and turn at night because he didn’t have time to refuse a classmate’s birthday party invitation, afraid that the classmate would be sad and hurt.

Moreover, this was such a sincere invitation, directed only at him.

Zhou Dongze pushed the tickets forward again, about to say something more when there was a knock on the door.

Three knocks, neither light nor heavy. The two people in the classroom looked over together. The visitor was also wearing a school uniform, the zipper of the jacket undone, only a white T-shirt underneath. His tall and slender figure leaned against the door frame, smiling, but his eyes were calm and cold.

“Li Tang.” Jiang Lou said, “The English teacher is looking for you.”

As the PE leader, Zhou Dongze running here counted as dereliction of duty.

So he bid Li Tang farewell for the time being and returned to the playground.

Reaching the classroom door, Zhou Dongze slowed down slightly, his gaze lingering on Jiang Lou for an extra second. Passing by, he bumped shoulders with Jiang Lou, unclear if intentional.

Li Tang was completely unaware of the commotion at the door.

He packed up the sheet music and covered the piano. “What does the teacher want, should I go to the classroom or the office?”

There was no answer.

Puzzled, he looked at Jiang Lou. He had already walked in, standing less than half a meter from Li Tang. The corners of his mouth drooped, his smile disappearing, his gaze falling straight onto Li Tang, with a strange sense of scrutiny.

Making Li Tang panic, “Wha, what’s wrong?”

“The teacher isn’t looking for you.” Jiang Lou said, “I lied to you.”

Li Tang immediately understood. “…Did you hear?”

Hearing Zhou Dongze’s invitation and seeing that he didn’t want to go, so he was helping him out?

Jiang Lou didn’t answer but told him, “Don’t be fickle.”

It wasn’t that.

But…

Li Tang was even more puzzled. “What fickleness?”

Jiang Lou said calmly, “He’s asking you out.”

“So what?”

“He has feelings for you.”

“…Are you homophobic?”

“I said, don’t be fickle.”

Li Tang actually didn’t like this “ask me and I’ll answer based on my mood” way of chatting. Ignoring several consecutive questions, even someone as patient as him couldn’t help getting a little angry.

Plus that ambiguous “kiss,” and Jiang Lou’s ambiguous attitude. Every time he was delighted by an intimate touch or an ambiguous word, he would be distressed late at night trying to decipher its meaning.

“What fickleness, that’s not how you use that word.” Li Tang’s voice lowered, “We aren’t lovers.”

The air froze.

Li Tang regretted saying it the moment he did—it was too straightforward, almost like complaining.

Although Li Tang knew that his previous active displays, clever as Jiang Lou was, must have been noticed.

And precisely because of this unspoken knowledge but not breaking it, it was agonizing.

However, what happened next was completely unexpected.

“Aren’t we?”

Jiang Lou’s calm voice spoke words that could quicken one’s heartbeat.

“I thought we already were.” Jiang Lou looked at Li Tang, seeming to have disappointment and confusion in his eyes, “At least, I haven’t done those things with anyone else except you.”