Chapter 52 – I’ve Come to See You

Jiang Lou stood motionless, allowing Li Tang to approach him, his forehead resting against his shoulder.

His throat felt dry—partly from yearning, partly from worry.

The hand hanging at his side quietly lifted, hovering less than five centimeters away from Li Tang’s back, drawing closer by millimeters before restraining itself and pulling back.

Still afraid of startling him.

Li Tang looked so pale, so weak, it baffled Jiang Lou how he could have been so heartless seven years ago.

He also understood now that the lines in poetry about giving up one’s life so someone else might be spared illness were never just empty words.

Five minutes later, the car re-entered the main road, merging with the traffic bathed in neon lights.

Li Tang didn’t rest again, sitting upright, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, as if there were sparks dancing in his pupils that wouldn’t cease.

He seemed to have returned to his earlier state of ease, at least when Jiang Lou asked him if he was cold, he answered without hesitation, “Just right.”

Silence once again filled the car.

In the past, when they were together, it was mostly Li Tang who initiated conversation. Now, each lost in their own thoughts, aside from work-related discussions, there was only an awkward silence that neither knew how to break.

When they arrived at the company building, as soon as Li Tang stepped out of the car, he saw Li Zichu rushing out from the lobby. “Why did you leave earlier but arrive later than us?”

Li Tang didn’t mention the stop along the way, using traffic congestion as an excuse.

Jiang Lou got out of the driver’s seat, and upon seeing him, Li Zichu became defensive, like a hen protecting her chicks, pulling Li Tang behind him.

Li Tang was embarrassed, stepping forward to introduce, “This is ROJA’s technical department…”

“I know him!” Li Zichu looked at Jiang Lou with a few hints of disdain. “Some people may dress up nicely, but that doesn’t make them decent human beings.”

Jiang Lou remained silent, neither refuting nor acknowledging, his natural demeanor giving off an oppressive air.

And his gaze stayed on Li Tang, never leaving him for a single second.

Li Zichu grew angrier the more he saw this, thinking, ‘So ruthless back then, now playing the role of a devoted lover?’

He pulled Li Tang away, saying, “Let’s go inside quickly; don’t let this big bad wolf deceive you again.”

After taking a few steps, Li Zichu turned around and shouted, “This place doesn’t allow long-term parking, move your car quickly!”

Li Tang, lacking strength, managed to say, “Thanks for the ride,” before being dragged away by Li Zichu.

As he passed through the glass doors, he glanced back through the gaps in the crowd. Jiang Lou was still standing there, his tall figure like a pine tree, yet cold and lonely in the chill of autumn, blending into the night.

A strange sourness welled up in Li Tang’s chest, and he withdrew his gaze, not looking back.

Once they were on the elevator, Li Zichu started nagging, “Why were only the two of you in the car? He must have had ulterior motives. If I had known, I would have opposed it to the end, cutting off any chance for you two to meet…”

Li Tang listened intermittently. After the sudden episode halfway through the journey, he hadn’t fully recovered yet. The quick ascent of the elevator caused a buzzing in his ears.

He had to tug on Li Zichu’s arm to get him to quiet down.

Li Zichu finally noticed something was off with Li Tang, hurriedly asking, “What’s wrong? Your face looks so pale. Did he do anything to you…”

“I only discussed work with him, nothing else,” Li Tang said.

Relieved, Li Zichu supported Li Tang. “For future occasions like this, you shouldn’t come. I’ll just film it for you and create a version where I cut him out completely.”

Li Tang tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I bet someone will edit it, but in reverse.”

Sure enough, that night, a video was posted online about the main speaker at today’s presentation at a university lecture hall in the capital. All parts related to the profession were deleted, leaving only close-ups of the individual.

Fortunately, Jiang Lou hadn’t appeared for too long, otherwise, the video might have exceeded three minutes.

Li Tang saw Qi Sixian share it while he was patrolling his friend circle before bed. Without watching the video, he merely liked it politely.

The next day, running into Qi Sixian in the company’s tea room, she winked and asked if seeing his ex-boyfriend who had become so handsome stirred any emotions within him. Li Tang shook his head.

Even if she wouldn’t spread gossip, Qi Sixian couldn’t resist the juicy tidbit, saying disbelievingly, “How could that be… I heard that when an ex gets a promotion or a raise, people feel unhappy. They always think it’s because they left that the ex got lucky.”

Without her, the person had become better, who could swallow that?

Li Tang laughed. Thinking about it carefully, it was true that after he left Jiang Lou, Jiang Lou’s luck soared, from his studies to his career, everything advanced smoothly.

Could it be that I’m destined to bring misfortune?

Thinking this, Li Tang replied, “What I mean is, he wasn’t just handsome now, he’s always been this handsome.”

Li Tang knew that to maintain a dignified and composed attitude towards his ex-boyfriend was necessary for professional interactions, to avoid losing face.

Moreover, strictly speaking, he couldn’t even be considered an ex-boyfriend. After all, his and Jiang Lou’s “relationship” was built on lies, a castle in the air that couldn’t be taken seriously.

Thus, objectively admitting Jiang Lou’s excellence came as easily to Li Tang as drinking water or eating a meal.

On Saturday, Li Tang went to see his psychologist.

Li Zichu was convinced that his last episode was due to stopping medication on his own and began watching him take his pills daily again. This time, when he saw the doctor, Li Tang was pondering whether he should resume medication and if it was scientifically sound to take both Western and traditional Chinese medicine. At the clinic entrance, he ran into the deaf-mute youth he had met before.

He had also arrived early, and they sat together on the bench outside chatting.

The deaf-mute youth typed on his phone: Christmas is coming soon, I wonder if it will snow then.

Seeing the words “Christmas,” Li Tang was slightly startled.

He also typed a reply: Perhaps. The capital’s winters are always cold.

Unlike the winter in Xucheng, which only brought icy rain.

Talking about his condition, the deaf-mute youth said: Last week, my test results came out. My residual hearing level is sufficient for a cochlear implant, and the money I’ve saved is almost enough.

Li Tang was genuinely happy for him: So you’ll be able to hear sounds?

The deaf-mute youth nodded with a smile.

Li Tang remembered him saying that most deaf-mute patients didn’t wear hearing aids or receive cochlear implants, unable to afford the cost and unwilling to be treated differently in society.

When asked about the reason for deciding on surgery, the deaf-mute youth blushed, typing with a shy smile that extended from his neck to his cheeks.

He said he had fallen in love with a girl, and his friends told him the girl sang beautifully. He wanted to hear her voice.

Li Tang wasn’t surprised by his answer. Love always gave people strength and courage.

Curious, Li Tang asked: What other reasons could motivate someone to wear a hearing aid again ten years after losing unilateral hearing?

The deaf-mute youth thought for a moment: Unless there was an undeniable reason, such as work necessity, perhaps this person encountered a turning point that made him decide to abandon pretenses and follow his heart.

Li Tang guessed that Jiang Lou’s reason for wearing a hearing aid might be the former.

After all, he was currently working in IT. Aside from programming code, he needed to communicate and collaborate with colleagues. Being unable to hear with one ear was inconvenient.

But during his school days, because he didn’t wear a hearing device, his English listening and speaking skills were hindered, and his grades couldn’t improve. Wasn’t that an even greater inconvenience for a student?

For students, grades were directly tied to their future, far more important than workplace communication.

Was it really due to a turning point?

Seven years ago, Li Tang realized that Jiang Lou’s smile never reached his eyes. Smiling was a habit for him, a mask to blend into the world.

Then why didn’t he smile now? Was it for the same reason?

On the first night after resuming medication, Li Tang fell asleep with these questions in mind.

The next morning, he was awakened by a phone call. On one end, Li Tang was groggy, while Su Qinhan on the other end was vibrant. “I’ve landed! All units, prepare to receive me!”

An hour later, Li Tang, as the “all units” himself, received the far-traveled Su Qinhan at a nearby breakfast place.

It wasn’t mealtime yet, so they ordered tea and dim sum first.

Compared to seven years ago, Su Qinhan had gained a maturity to her girlish charm. Her straight black hair paired with a spaghetti-strapped miniskirt, complemented by a leather jacket and short boots, exuded a cool and stylish aura, regardless of season.

Her opening words somewhat ruined the atmosphere. With her red lips quivering, she said, “I knew the capital was cold, but I didn’t expect it to be this cold. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have exposed my beautiful navel.”

Concerned for her health since he had recently been drinking Chinese medicine and focusing on health, Li Tang suggested, “Let’s pick out some clothes at my place later.”

“Inviting someone to your house on our first meeting?” Su Qinhan raised her eyebrows. “If I didn’t know you were gay, I’d think you were trying to chase me.”

Li Tang laughed, appreciating the familiar ease that required no effort to find.

After eating, they went to Li Tang’s place to select clothes. Su Qinhan sighed in front of the wardrobe full of black, white, and gray, “Once men enter the workforce, do they all become so monotonous and dull?”

She eventually chose a long black down jacket to wear. Warming up quickly, she no longer needed to shiver to keep warm. In Li Tang’s rented loft apartment, she wandered around upstairs and downstairs, occasionally praising a decoration as tasteful, sometimes criticizing a chair harshly, maintaining her love for beauty from seven years ago.

She didn’t forget that she now managed an account with hundreds of thousands of followers. Sitting by the railing upstairs, her legs dangling in the air, she took several photos with a selfie stick.

With Li Tang’s permission to publish them, Su Qinhan edited the photos on her phone while chatting with him. “Zhou Dongze told me everything. How about it, are you planning to accept him?”

Hearing the first half, Li Tang thought it was related to Jiang Lou, only relaxing after hearing the whole question. “Do you want the truth?”

“Of course, I hate guessing games.”

“The truth is, I’m focused on my career right now and don’t want to get involved in romance.”

“Are you going to reject him?”

“Mm, he asked me to think about it more, but I think it’s been long enough.”

Su Qinhan sighed deeply, lamenting the lack of reciprocated feelings, then suddenly changed the subject. “You’ve seen Jiang Lou?”

Li Tang was speechless for a moment, not expecting to be unable to avoid this topic.

Upon receiving a positive answer, surprisingly, Su Qinhan didn’t ask about Li Tang’s current situation with him, nor did she mention the past. Instead, she asked, “What’s he like now? Has he turned into an oily uncle?”

Although Jiang Lou, at the age of twenty-seven, was far from being an uncle, Su Qinhan said that several handsome guys from their graduating class, including those who had been known as the class heartthrobs, had all developed horizontally during college, and their careers had shown no signs of success, with bald spots already appearing on their heads.

Li Tang found her exaggeration amusing. Su Qinhan showed him pictures from the last class reunion. Li Tang glanced over and was stunned, considering his words before commenting, “It seems the water and soil here in China nurture people well.”

Even Zhou Dongze was a bit heavier than in high school, likely due to work stress and reduced physical exercise, neglecting body management.

Su Qinhan was even more curious about Jiang Lou’s current appearance. “Let me see him, to balance my mental state a little.”

She still felt uncomfortable about chasing Jiang Lou back then. If Jiang Lou had become unattractive, she could more confidently denounce him as getting what he deserved and wouldn’t feel her tears shed back then were in vain.

Li Tang gave her a keyword to search online herself.

The first video that popped up was a mere three minutes long. Su Qinhan paused, rewound, paused again, and rewound repeatedly, spending a full fifteen minutes. Using her discerning eye as a beauty blogger, she scrutinized the video with a magnifying glass, desperately searching for flaws.

Then, after a long silence, she sincerely questioned, “…Has he practiced some kind of eternal youth technique?”

During the entire lunch, Su Qinhan kept brainwashing herself — morals shouldn’t follow facial features.

She couldn’t forget the audio that had echoed throughout the campus seven years ago, who recorded it, and who delivered it to the broadcast room.

As an outsider, she felt this way, how much deeper would the shadow be for the person involved?

Su Qinhan didn’t dare to bring it up. Instead, Li Tang couldn’t bear her overly concerned gaze. Calmly, he said, “It’s fine. Now, I only have limited professional contact with him. Besides, we can’t blame him for what happened back then; it was my own fault.”

Su Qinhan’s eyes widened in shock, revealing deeper concern. “Xiaotang…”

“Yes?”

“Are you suffering from… Stockholm Syndrome?”

Li Tang indeed had mental health issues, but not the Stockholm Syndrome Su Qinhan mentioned. Rather, he had PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

At night, when everything was quiet, he would continuously ruminate on the scene when his psychological world collapsed. And over time, this memory didn’t fade but became more vivid and clear instead.

Occasional flashbacks and hallucinations were medically referred to as “re-experiencing trauma.” Similar to masochism, it was a condition where one knew that recalling memories would bring pain but couldn’t control oneself from repeatedly picking at the scar, constantly revisiting the pain of the time.

This illness showed its initial signs before he left the country. Later, Father Li Yuanshan spared no expense to find the best doctors to treat him, even having Zhang Zhaoyue accompany him to study in the UK for half a year, stabilizing his condition.

Li Tang knew that few children in this world were as costly and difficult to raise as him. Therefore, after returning home with his education complete, he didn’t refuse any demands or assignments from Father Li, even if he inwardly disliked them.

But that day, facing Li Yuanshan’s instructions over the phone, Li Tang said “no.”

Li Yuanshan couldn’t believe it. “Have you been bewitched, or is your mind possessed by a demon?”

“Neither,” Li Tang said. “I know the value of keeping promises. The contract has been signed, and payments have been made. There’s no reason to withdraw them.”

“Keeping promises depends on the person!” Li Yuanshan scolded. “How badly that bastard hurt you back then, haven’t you learned enough? Why are you rushing back into the fire?”

It was because Li Yuanshan, after returning from abroad, had become concerned about the nursing home Li Tang co-founded and checked the situation at the investment company. In doing so, he discovered that the core technology leader of the recent startup invested in, which specialized in medical artificial intelligence, was none other than Jiang Lou. Further investigation revealed that this guy was also one of the company’s partners.

Li Tang and Jiang Lou’s relationship, including who the other main character in that audio clip was, Li Yuanshan only learned about after the incident. At the time, if it weren’t for Zhang Zhaoyue’s strong opposition and Li Tang threatening to die, he wouldn’t have let Jiang Lou off easily.

Enduring once was already suffocating enough; Li Yuanshan couldn’t bear it a second time.

Immediately, he commanded, “Terminate the cooperation immediately! I want to ruin that bastard, make him disgraced in the industry!”

“What do you plan to do?” Li Tang calmly asked. “Are you going to bring up that old incident again, making it known to everyone? That might not just affect him, but also me and you, the entire Li family, will be disgraced together.”

“Even if that’s the case, you don’t care?”

In the end, he was persuaded.

No matter how selfish and arrogant Li Yuanshan was, he wasn’t stupid. Putting aside the uproar that would ensue if the truth was revealed, just the cancellation of the contract would incur a hefty penalty fee.

Li Yuanshan would never do something that would harm both his reputation and his interests.

After calming down, Li Tang reassured him with the rehabilitation robot project data sent by ROJA, showcasing the promising revenue prospects. Although Li Yuanshan was still angry, he didn’t interfere excessively.

Finally, Li Yuanshan reminded coldly, “Let others handle the negotiations. Once the project ends, cut off contact quickly. Be smart and don’t get deceived again.”

After hanging up the phone, Li Tang slowly slumped onto the table, burying his face in his arms.

His breathing slowed, and his pores stopped sweating, leaving only the word “deceived” circling endlessly in his mind.

Why does everyone think I’m innocent and that I’m the victim?

Even the so-called Stockholm Syndrome refers to the victim of a crime developing affection for the perpetrator.

Clearly, he was the real victim, from beginning to end.

I only hope that in the years to come, he can have an easier time, that he can have a smooth path.

Two days later, news of Li Tang’s efforts to protect ROJA somehow leaked out. By the time it reached Xucheng, it had turned into the absurd version that “Little President Li almost broke ties with Old President Li in a huge argument to preserve the investment in ROJA.”

Early in the morning, the phone in the marketing department rang nonstop. One moment, President Pei expressed gratitude, sending over a flower basket inscribed with “Thank you, President Li, for generously financing our company.” The next moment, President Sun called to express thanks and verbally extended wedding invitations, inviting everyone to attend his wedding at the Xucheng Grand Hotel that Saturday evening.

Qi Sixian directly shared this news in the company group, suggesting, “Let’s charter a plane and go together!”

Li Tang read it but didn’t respond, thinking, ‘Unless you sell me, see if it’s enough to buy a private jet engraved with the company’s name.’

Later that day, Li Zichu was away from the General Manager’s Office on business. The phone on his desk rang incessantly, and Li Tang couldn’t help but walk over to answer it.

A simple “Who are you looking for?” was met with a moment of silence from the other end.

Sometimes intuition defied logic. In just a few seconds, Li Tang knew who it was.

Even though, in the end, the person on the other end identified themselves, “It’s me, Jiang Lou.”

His voice was so deep, so close, forcing Li Tang to hold the receiver further away to prevent it from connecting with certain memories.

He responded with an “Mm,” trying to sound relaxed. “President Jiang isn’t here to thank me too, is he?”

“No,” Jiang Lou said. “I’ve come to see you.”

He called him “President Jiang,” but Jiang Lou didn’t return the formality with “President Li.”

Why, Li Tang wondered, why was it like this?

Was it because of borrowing his shoulder that day, making him think…

Li Tang realized he couldn’t have a normal conversation with Jiang Lou without discussing work, so he tried to change the subject. “Regarding the rehabilitation robot, the information shows that…”

“Stop helping me in the future,” Jiang Lou said.

His train of thought was interrupted, leaving Li Tang’s mind blank for a moment.

In that brief pause, Jiang Lou continued, “Don’t help me, don’t smile at me, and don’t say ‘sorry’ to me. I’m afraid I’ll misunderstand, thinking you actually aren’t that…”

He didn’t finish his sentence.

Li Tang knew what he was going to say.

Nothing more than, hate me, or despise me.

From the first meeting, Li Tang noticed a contradiction in Jiang Lou—a mix of liveliness and tranquility, kindness and indifference.

He briefly attributed this acute intuition to the empathy between blood-related brothers, but later realized it was a predestined, innate sense of shared experience.

Because Li Tang could not only understand, but even have thoughts that were perfectly aligned—

Saying I want you to hate me, wanting you to continue hating me, yet unable to avoid hoping that you actually don’t hate me that much.