CEL 23

These days Han Jaeha is strange.

Hamin stared blankly at the glowing lock screen.

Han Jaeha

Do you want to have lunch? 11:27 AM

Hamin’s eyebrows went up and did not come down while he looked at the text. He tapped the desk quietly, and as soon as the screen went dark it lit up again.

Han Jaeha

Or dinner? 11:28 AM

Hamin sighed and moved his reluctant fingers. He picked up the phone that felt unusually heavy today and sent a reply.

Busy

The 1 that appeared briefly next to the message disappeared before he even looked at it.

Han Jaeha

Got it 11:29 AM

When he scrolled up with a frown, similar conversations filled the screen.

June 8, 2025, Wednesday

Han Jaeha

Do you want to have lunch? 11:02 AM

I have to study for exams

Eat alone today 11:15 AM

June 9, 2025, Thursday

Han Jaeha

Do you want to have lunch? 10:55 AM

No class today 11:04 AM

June 10, 2025, Friday

Han Jaeha

Do you want to have lunch? 10:45 AM

Busy 10:59 AM

‎

He pressed his tired temple with his fingertips. A headache followed because he had something to worry about.

If this was Han Jaeha’s way of giving him some realization, he wanted to tell him it was a very successful strategy.

After he came by his house, Hamin’s condition got better as if the emergency room visit had been an illusion.

He thought it was just the timing of the medicine working, but he also felt grateful. That was why he had decided not to bother him for a while…

“Why am I the one being bothered?”

Through the texts of the past few days, Hamin realized forcing someone to eat together was never a way to become close.

He frowned at the gradually earlier times of the texts. If it got any earlier, it would not be lunch but breakfast.

Hamin felt unfamiliar with this situation. It was the first time someone pestered him this much, and the first time he dragged on an unwanted situation without ending it.

He lowered his gaze. The small table was covered with books and papers. He had to read them all by tomorrow.

He wanted to know if what Han Jaeha said was true, but that was something he could not know right now, and the exam was right in front of him. Between the two choices, the reasonable one was obviously the exam.

So all he had to do was turn off notifications or tell him not to contact him for a while…

He stared at the small bell icon in Han Jaeha’s chat room. Just pressing the blackened bell once would free him from the noisy alerts.

He brought his thumb close to the screen and pulled it back again and again. After repeating the meaningless action for a long time, Hamin closed the screen without doing anything.

Han Jaeha

But if you are going to study anyway, can I do it with you? 11:37 AM

But when another notification appeared, he could not hold back and let out a sigh.

In the end, Hamin lost to Han Jaeha. The reason he gave himself was that if it was going to keep going like this, it might be better to just meet him and ask what he was thinking, even if it sounded like an excuse.

He grabbed the glass with drops of water on it and gulped down the coffee. The cold going in made his heavy chest feel a little lighter.

He turned his head and looked outside. Just then, a man who looked like a model in a sky-blue shirt walked briskly closer. The beige pants that did not look like anything special made the shirt look like a luxury brand worth millions.

“There’s no runway here.”

He murmured quietly, and through the transparent window their eyes met. The face that had no expression quickly turned into delight.

The ends of Han Jaeha’s eyes folded into a crescent shape. Hamin, who had been resting his chin on his hand staring at him, opened his eyes wide in surprise. After opening the cafe door and coming in, he set down his bag and asked.

“Why are you surprised?”

Hamin looked at him with a strange gaze.

It was brief, but past Jaeha overlapped with present Jaeha’s face. When he saw him smiling with the same expression he had when they first greeted each other, he felt unfamiliar feelings of delight, loneliness, and longing. They were awkward things he had not known existed in him.

“… Because millions walked over.”

He fiddled with the glass while saying something pointless, and Jaeha looked down at his clothes and replied.

“Oh, this? How did you know? Do you like this brand too, sunbae?”

…Was it really luxury?

Hamin narrowed his eyes and searched for the logo, when he suddenly heard a low laugh.

“I’m joking.”

Even as he saw Hamin not laughing, he sat down without the slightest sign of embarrassment.

For someone who came to study, his outfit looked too light. Hamin stared at the thin bag that did not look like it held more than a few sheets of paper, and Jaeha pulled out some printed papers. There were not even five.

“You came out with that to study?”

“Yes. I have a liberal arts exam soon.”

“You could memorize all that in the time it takes to come and go.”

“What do you know, sunbae?”

He grumbled as he lifted the thin glasses frame with his index finger and put it down. Seeing this different side of him, Hamin asked without thinking.

“You’re wearing glasses.”

“Yes.”

“They don’t even look like they have a prescription. Why are you wearing them?”

Those words made Jaeha tightly shut his mouth. He could never say “I hoped you would notice that I had changed again, sunbae.”

He met the calm black eyes. The faint curiosity in the large pupils almost made him laugh, but he barely held it in.

That day. After stealing a kiss from this strange stalker sunbae, Jaeha spent a restless night. Starting with, was I gay, to, do I like Seo Hamin?

He thought about it all night but could not find an answer.

He had never liked anyone before, and he had never received affection like that from anyone either. He could not define exactly what his feelings were.

Did he really like Seo Hamin, or did he just want to sleep with him once, or was it some other mistake?

He smoked a whole pack in the smoking area thinking about it, but there was no way he could find an answer by himself from the start.

When he went into the officetel, the cold from the air conditioner chilled him to the bone. The air that touched his skin was cold and made goosebumps rise, but his head was burning hot.

In the end, Jaeha admitted it.

He was curious about Seo Hamin.

He was curious about his own feelings, and curious how he would take the result.

It was the first time he felt curious about something in his life.

Until you break it open yourself, you cannot know what is inside. That was why Jaeha wanted to crack the shell.

He wanted to smash it apart and know the true nature of what was inside.

His wavering eyes scanned the man in front of him. Once he admitted that Seo Hamin was pretty, everything looked new again. Even in the bright green clothes that would make others look like frogs, he only looked cute.

How can he still look cute in that?

With his hair slightly covering his eyebrows and even wearing those clothes, he looked no older than twenty. With child abductions said to be common these days, it was a look that could only make one worry.

“Go order first.”

Hamin spoke to him with a face that looked seriously troubled. Jaeha quietly stood up and walked to the counter.

He skimmed the menu board on the ceiling and then stared seriously into the showcase. For a neighborhood cafe, the menu was varied. Pointing with his finger as he roughly memorized the menu, Jaeha drew in a small breath and ordered.

“Iced Americano and strawberry shortcake, cheesecake, chocolate cake, matcha pudding, chestnut yanggaeng, cream cheese bagel and ham cheese sandwich, almond cookie, fig scone, tomato basil panini, and one of each kind of macaron.”

“…What?”

The part-timer who had been entering confidently up to chocolate cake let her focus drain away halfway through and missed his words. Her hand froze in the air and her mouth hung open blankly.

She glanced back and forth between Hamin’s table and Jaeha with uneasy eyes. Seeing that the four-person table was already full, it didn’t seem like more people were coming, yet the amount ordered was far from normal.

Is he really ordering all of this?

Watching her fingers hesitate awkwardly, Jaeha repeated the order carefully from the beginning. Fortunately this time she entered everything without missing it, and she sighed in relief.

“…It’s 63,800 won. It might take some time, is that okay?”

“It’s fine.”

“I’ll bring it to your table when it’s ready.” She nodded and turned away.

To win someone’s favor, it always starts with something visible. Giving food was one of the oldest ways to show interest.

There should be at least one thing he likes in this, right?

Feeling satisfied with himself, Jaeha returned to the table. Without even looking at him, Hamin murmured.

“That order took forever.”

“Were you waiting?”

“Does it look like I was waiting?”

In that short time, Hamin had already filled the desk with his things. He didn’t bring heavy major textbooks, but there were dozens of pages of printouts. Even though papers crossed into his space, Jaeha just looked at Hamin without saying anything. The way he focused on the text looked… a bit sexy.

Seo Hamin, when immersed in something, tended to relaxed his face. The natural curve of his lips and the pupils beneath his shaded lashes teased the person looking at him. It made Jaeha want to steal his attention, to make his face tighten up.

Jaeha hid his childish feeling and pretended to look through what he had brought. Hamin asked.

“But why do you keep contacting me?”

“We’re dating.”

“That was still going on?” His calm question made Jaeha’s face twist.

“Is dating just a game to you, sunbae? Something you can start and stop?”

He spoke harshly, and only then did Hamin lift his head. The eyes that met his had a trace of a smile.

“When exams start, I’ll be busy and can’t hang out.”

“I’m busy too, you know?”

“Yeah, so contact me after exams.”

“…Can I contact you during vacation?”

The natural flow of the conversation made Hamin stop speaking. He lowered the pen he had been holding and thought for a moment.

…Isn’t that a bit much?

It was he himself who had said to contact him after exams. Normally, exams ended and vacation started right after, so it wasn’t strange for Jaeha to ask if he could contact him during vacation.

But what felt unfamiliar about this conversation was that he had never had such meaningless exchanges with anyone.

This vacation he planned to do tutoring. In the remaining time, he would preview next semester’s material, and though a bit early, maybe even prepare for the LEET. It was a schedule that could be written in three lines, but even so two months didn’t feel free.

While he spun the pen caught between his third and fourth fingers, lost in thought, Jaeha asked again.

“It’s okay, right?”

“What will you do if you contact me?”

“What else? Eat together.”

“During vacation specifically?”

This time Jaeha looked puzzled.

“Did we eat together at school because there was some connection? Even without a single class in common?”

Hearing it put that way, it did sound true.

Murmuring softly, “Is that so?” he suddenly felt a large shadow fall over his head.

“Here are the dishes you ordered.” …What is all this?

Hamin lifted his head and was startled. The tray the part-timer carried was a size he had never seen before.

His mouth fell open in surprise and he couldn’t even close it, only blinked, while Jaeha quickly cleared the desk.

“You could have brought them slowly.”

“Just a moment, I have to go back again.” This wasn’t all?

Hamin drew in a breath as he looked at the food filling the desk. The amount was overwhelming. In the meantime the part-timer returned struggling with the rest. In the end the four-person table wasn’t enough, so they had to pull in the table next to them to spread out all that Jaeha had ordered.

A curse circled in his mouth.

…Was Han Jaeha really insane?

“What was the point of ordering like this?”

“Because I don’t know what you like, sunbae.”

“Couldn’t you have just asked before ordering?” Hamin clenched his teeth as he spoke, and Jaeha averted his eyes.

Of course, just like he said, normally you asked before ordering what someone wanted or what they liked. But from experience, Jaeha already knew Hamin wouldn’t answer honestly.

Anyway, Seo Hamin always acted like he didn’t know what he liked, so questions about preferences were meaningless. And… he also wanted to see for himself, more than to know by asking.

Holding back his smile, he looked at Hamin’s disgusted face.

“Just eat what you want, sunbae.”

“You take the rest.”

Hamin pulled only the yanggaeng and pudding in front of himself with a fed-up expression. Just looking at the spread made his mouth feel sweet, and he wanted to clear it all away, but there was nowhere to put it. He sighed and ate the yanggaeng, while Jaeha didn’t even think of picking up his fork.

“You do your part too.”

“You only like things like that, sunbae.”

“What things?”

“…Soft ones.”

The corners of Jaeha’s lips twitched and then he finally smiled.

Hamin only liked things that were mushy, like something chewed and spat out. Apple pie, yanggaeng, pudding… he was like some old man. But because that was so very Seo Hamin, Jaeha snickered to himself, and just then cake and a sandwich were placed in front of him.

“You eat this and go home. I’m going to the study hall too.”

“How can you say that, when you said you’d study with me today.”

“In ‘I’ll study with you,’ what I’ve done so far is only the ‘with you,’ right?”

Wrinkles formed on the bridge of his nose as it twisted with complaint. It was crazy, but the little lines that made a pattern were unbearably cute.

That’s why he couldn’t be drawn properly in a picture.

Hamin didn’t answer. He just turned away with a disinterested face while looking at Jaeha grinning for no reason. Talking with someone you couldn’t communicate with was only a loss for yourself in the end.

“What are you doing during vacation, sunbae?”

“Part-time job.”

“What kind of part-time job?”

“Tutoring, I guess.”

“Did you find a tutoring job? What subject? Do you do all subjects?”

“Are you a stalker?”

Being called a stalker by a stalker felt a bit strange. Come to think of it, at first it had definitely been Seo Hamin who followed him around, but at some point the roles had flipped, and long ago at that.

“Why don’t you follow me around these days, sunbae?”

“Are you disappointed?”

Hamin asked while scooping into the green-tinged pudding. He didn’t know why he was suddenly like this, but it was a good sign that Han Jaeha thought of him closely. If it kept going like this, maybe he could smoothly get the answer to his question. And after that, with Han Jaeha…

While Hamin was sorting out the thoughts floating around, he stopped laughing at the question he had thrown himself. The answer came out of Jaeha’s mouth almost at the same time, his hands on the table wouldn’t stay still and kept fidgeting.

“Yes, I am disappointed.”

And after that… what would happen with Han Jaeha?