CEL 3

Why does he have to care this much about that person?

“Uh, Han Jaeha!”

“Ah, hello, sunbae?”

“Hey, it’s so hard to see your face, huh? Is your work going well?”

He hid his displeasure at the hand that pushed his shoulder and greeted him. He couldn’t remember his name well, but he was one of the sunbaes who had just become a fourth-year this year.

“It’s always difficult.”

“If you say that, then what about the other kids, huh?” He was only a few years older than me, but he acted like a full-grown adult. It was pathetic. People lined up behind him.

He inwardly scoffed. He must have wanted to show off in front of others.

“I learned a lot from looking at your drawings, sunbae. You don’t come to the practice room much these days, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s right. I’ve been kind of busy.” The simple sunbae’s mouth spread wide because things were going as planned.

Yeah, this is how it’s supposed to be.

Even with the people he brought standing behind him like a folding screen, his nagging continued for quite a while. At first their eyes were full of curiosity, but as he didn’t bother to introduce them and kept rambling excitedly on his own, their expressions turned displeased. Jaeha noticed that and tilted his head as he asked.

“Sunbae, who are the people you came with?”

“Ah, these guys. Don’t mind them. They’re club kids. I just called them out to buy them a meal.”

Judging by their expressions, the meal he treated them to wasn’t very good.

“Then can I buy the coffee?”

“You?”

“You always looked after me a lot, sunbae. Please let me at least buy this much.”

The sunbae, who couldn’t hold his smile, he continued spouting pointless compliments. Behind him, several pleased gazes landed on him. Only then did the discomfort loosen. It had gotten a little better as he got older, but whenever he felt even a little that someone was uncomfortable with him, his stomach turned. Maybe this was a burden he would have to carry for life.

Even though he thought all of this was tedious, he went back to the cafe hr had come from and ordered several coffees.

The eyes filled with happiness were burdensome, so he naturally turned his his away. Then a frame placed on the counter caught hid gaze.

If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?

As he read the words carefully, the part-timer, who had been waiting for a chance, spoke warmly.

“Ah, that’s a saying the boss likes. It’s such a classic, right?”

“It’s nice.”

“Even though people said it doesn’t fit spring, he stayed stubborn.” She handed him the buzzer, and when he added, “I really like it,” an unhidden shyness spread over her face. It was a face that suited spring.

If spring comes, is it good?

He knew it was a metaphor, but in most writings, winter was always expressed as hard and difficult, and spring as hopeful and good. That kind of cliche was pathetic. Some springs could be colder than winter.

What would that stalker think?

When he imagined him as someone who had never experienced a spring day in life, he felt a little better. Was the reason he kept going soft on that strange man because he looked pitiful?

His heart calmed down, he put on a mask-like smile and handed the buzzer to the sunbae who couldn’t wait and was nagging the juniors. The fact that he believed his action was goodwill was ridiculous.

“Then, see you again.”

He still didn’t remember his name, but his expression, who didn’t know that, only looked satisfied.

He guessed that he might not come again for a while, but Hamin came to see him the next day too.

“Let’s eat.”

Now it wasn’t even an invitation.

He stayed seated in his chair and just stared blankly at Hamin. Then he suddenly laughed and held out a square card. It was a student ID.

Seo Hamin.

Bachelor’s Program

College of Law

Department of Law

2019-92874

Under the familiar sequence of words was stamped the text: Director of Student Affairs, Korea University. It was without doubt genuine.

“Why are you showing me this?”

He asked with a smile on his face while thinking that he really is a Korea University student.

“Because you were doubting me.” …How did he know?

Hamin added with a smile when he shed out his surprised face at the thought that came to mind first than anything else.

“I can see everything you’re thinking.” It was the first time in his life he had heard that.

•••

“That sunbae still follows you around?”

“…Hamin-sunbae?”

The title that slipped out of his mouth was unfamiliar. Because of that, the hand that had been spreading gesso over the canvas stopped in the air for a while. While he finished painting the small area and waited for it to dry, Woojin kept talking.

“That guy is famous in the law department.” He must be famous with that face.

But the following words were of a different kind.

“They say he’s a complete lunatic.”

“Really?”

When Jaeha answered calmly while fanning the canvas with his hand, Woojin turned his whole body around and gave serious advice.

“I asked a sunbae I know, and he said it’s no joke. He has no mercy, he enjoys trampling on people, and if it’s not something he needs to hear, he doesn’t even respond.”

Woojin’s words were advice meant to warn him to be careful, but what Jaeha thought after hearing them was a little different.

Why does someone like that keep asking me to eat with him?

He put aside the not-yet-dry canvas and set up a prepared one on the easel. He thought of the stalker even as he sketched with oil pencils. Since the times they ran into each other had piled up, recalling Hamin’s image was not hard.

He ate quickly but not messily, so his manner looked neat. When he smiled, his lips never curved beyond a certain angle. And before answering, he always stared straight at the other person, spending quite a few seconds to grasp the intent of the question.

Anyone else might have thought it frustrating, but when he faced those jet-black pupils, he lost track of time.

His pupils were as big as a puppy’s.

As he thought carefully, his lips curved slightly in displeasure.

He is the stalker, but why am I acting like I am the one stalking?

He put down the colored pencil. Woojin, who had been secretly watching me while pretending otherwise, spoke up right away.

“Did you already finish your sketch?”

“This time I’m going to keep it simple.”

“Wow… that’s really Han Jaeha, Han Jaeha.”

He must have thought his response sounded natural, but his eyes were full of envy.

It isn’t easy to close the gap that comes from natural talent. Especially when it is art.

It might have been better if he had not followed him into the art department at all.

Jaeha did not bother with needless consolation that would hurt his pride. He quietly picked up his brush and began filling in the upper right of the canvas, and Woojin’s emotions, which had been close to crossing the line, calmed quickly.

“Anyway, be careful with that guy. This hyung is only saying this because he’s worried about you.”

He barely held himself back from laughing at the word that came out stiffly from his mouth. His sidelong glances were full of anxiety.

The one most troubled by his unchanged odd behavior since the day they met was probably himself.

Since he had always taken Jaeha’s care for granted, he must have been anxious too.

While he mixed paint and painting oil on the acrylic board, people gathered around.

“Han Jaeha, I’m going to do night work today, so I’m going to buy tteokbokki, want to come with me?”

“No, I’m going to finish quickly and go home.”

“Why are you such a guy with no camaraderie. Do some night work together, huh? That’s what makes you a real art student. You’re always sneaking around alone.”

“Hey, why are you picking on Jaeha for no reason. You’re slow and you’re blaming Jaeha for it.”

Seeing someone put the taller guy’s head in a headlock, Jaeha laughed. It wasn’t that funny, but it was better to laugh together to ease the mood.

“Instead, I’ll buy the tteokbokki for you since I don’t do night work. Tosooni’s, right?”

“Yeah yeah! Then sundae too! And fries! And fish cake!”

“Do you have a beggar in your stomach, huh? You go buy it!”

Leaving behind the noisy chatter, he took off his work clothes and left the practice room. From the moment he stepped out, he desperately wanted a cigarette. After hearing so much noise, hid ears felt like they were buzzing even outside.

This is why he didn’t like going to the practice room.

For him, it was far less tiring to stay shut in his studio for three hours drawing than to deal with noisy, bothersome people for ten minutes, but it was hard to neglect showing his face every so often.

He’s only putting up with it until graduation.

His phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a messenger pop-up from Woojin saying, “Should I come with you?” He closed it and pretended he didn’t see it. He must have been really anxious.

He thought he would buy some headache medicine before going to the snack shop, so he stepped into a convenience store, and he saw a familiar back of the head.

“…Sunbae?”

He thought he had just mumbled it to myself, but the small head turned around.

“Yeah.”

The jet-black pupils looked at him briefly, then turned again. That seemed to be the end of his greeting.

What kind of greeting is that? They ate together several times.

His lips twitched and Jaeha walked over quickly, and the thing he was staring at with an expression like he was doing some historic research was just white milk.

Korea University milk once, Dongyang milk once.

He looked back and forth between the two, and just when his hand was about to pick up Dongyang milk, he glanced at the price tag and moved his hand back toward Korea University milk. The forehead that had been smooth now showed faint wrinkles.

What is that supposed to be? Before he knew it, he was following Hamin’s gaze too. The price tag under Korea University milk said 800 won, Dongyang milk was 1,000 won.

So… was he hesitating over 200 won right now?

He unconsciously sighed.

Pathetic.

He quickly hid the expression that might have shown his real thoughts and snatched the milk from Hamin’s hand. This much was nothing, it was the kind of favor he was used to.

“I’ll buy this for you, sunbae.”

“Why?”

“Just because.”

“I don’t need you to.”

He thought it was a polite refusal and was about to smirk, but Hamin really took the milk from his hand and stood in front of the counter. The clerk’s “That will be 1,000 won,” and the machine’s “Payment approved” happened almost at the same time.

The bell jingled behind him as Hamin walked out of the convenience store. Jaeha blinked blankly, he panicked and quickly followed him. He quickened his pace, came up in front of Hamin, and stopped walking.

“Sunbae, were you maybe offended just now? I’m sorry if you were.”

Hamin looked puzzled as he saw him blocking his way. His expression said, “what is there to be offended about?” That was when he came back to his senses. He hadn’t spoken his true thoughts out loud, nor had he shown them, so there was nothing to apologize for.

“Didn’t you come here because you had something to buy?”

“…Yes. That’s right.”

He blinked at the stupid answer, then covered his mouth with his hand. Through the gap in his hand, he thought he heard a small laugh.

The corners of his eyes curved. It wasn’t like usual, when only his lips moved, but a real smile that curved his eyes.

…Why is he smiling like that?

The round cheeks that had lifted went back to place quickly. It was such a fleeting moment it felt like he might have imagined it.

“Don’t smoke too much.”

He left only that line, Jaeha watched his figure move away. See you tomorrow, goodbye, have a nice day. There was no proper phrase he could offer. His steps had already disappeared from view.

Left alone, he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. He thought he should just hurry and go buy the tteokbokki, so he was about to leave his spot when I suddenly felt something was wrong and stopped in place.

…But did he ever say that he smoke?