CEL 30

“It’s not good for your body.”

“For an artist, cigarettes and alcohol are like culture.”

“Why not add drugs too….”

Hamin, who had been smiling and joking, stopped talking. Come to think of it, before Han Jaeha died, the charge at his trial had been drug use.

He imagined replacing the cigarette between Han Jaeha’s lips with drugs. He thought of him holding ma*ijuana or coc*ne with that drowsy face, but it didn’t suit him at all.

“Why, do I look like someone who would do drugs?”

“No.”

The Han Jaeha he knew was a man from more than ten years into the future, and that was a long enough time that even if someone lived their life completely reversed, it wouldn’t be strange. But he was strangely convinced that Han Jaeha was not the type to take drugs. Maybe that was the instinctive intuition that had made Hamin successful as a lawyer.

Then, who was the bastard that framed him?

The trial transcript he had gotten through someone he knew was full of questions that favored the prosecutor so much it made him wonder if the judge had been bribed. One could say it was possible since there was no logic that could overturn the evidence, but there were too many things that didn’t sit right to just let it pass.

So if it had really been someone’s plan, it meant it was the work of a pretty vile guy.

“Don’t go around making enemies.”

“Isn’t that what you should be worried about, sunbae?”

Hamin closed his mouth tight. It was because he had actually been stabbed to death once.

“Anyway, be careful.”

A low laugh came out of Jaeha’s mouth. He liked Hamin’s worry disguised as nagging.

Thinking of Choi Woojin, who would probably go crazy and cause a scene, was exhausting, and he didn’t know how today’s events would spread through people’s mouths, which was troubling. But for once in a long time, he was in a good mood and it was hard to hold back his laughter.

The stuffy feeling inside him felt completely cleared, and the boring drinking party felt interesting for the first time. That was why he couldn’t help but laugh.

He rubbed out the cigarette that had burned down to the filter and covered his mouth with his hand. The corners of his lips kept pulling up, and there was nothing he could do.

Hamin, who frowned at the cigarette smoke but only kept a distance of three steps, looked at him strangely.

Three steps.

In the past, he would have thought of it as close, but now it felt wide.

“Sunbae, do you know you’re almost like a split personality?” Hamin’s “who’s saying that to who,” look made Jaeha exhale cigarette smoke, and Hamin answered.

“Lawyers are salesmen in the end.”

“You do know you’re still enrolled at Korea University, right?”

“There’s nothing wrong with preparing early.”

At that not very funny reply, Han Jaeha giggled and said, “You’re right,” and Hamin leaned back against the wall. The feeling of the damp summer air soaked into the wall touching his thin shirt wasn’t pleasant, but he was too tired to care.

He was staring blankly ahead when Han Jaeha, who had been watching him, began to take off his thin shirt.

“That’s public indecency, you know.”

“There are times I really wish you’d be quiet, sunbae.”

“When?”

“When you breathe.”

Was that supposed to mean shut up forever?

Even though he took off the shirt, there was a white T-shirt underneath, so it didn’t look strange. When Hamin gave him a questioning look, Han Jaeha folded the shirt twice and tucked it behind Hamin’s back.

“…What are you doing?”

“You looked uncomfortable.”

Hamin let out a deep sigh and pulled the shirt out.

He fiddled with the fabric that smelled nice. From the soft texture, it was clear it was expensive.

“This probably costs more than that meal earlier.”

“Well, let’s just say it covers the meal.” What a pushover.

While Hamin clicked his tongue, Jaeha put a second cigarette in his mouth. For some reason, the bitter cigarette tasted sweet today.

Was it because it was his first time smoking outside? Or… was it because he was with Seo Hamin?

Either way, the fact was that he felt good, his eyes curved into half-moons.

He didn’t know exactly what kind of feeling this was yet. Even so, he couldn’t deny that everything about this situation was enjoyable. Just that. Even if nothing went the way he wanted, he liked spending time with Seo Hamin.

“What are you grinning about?” …Or maybe not.

“Sunbae, don’t you do stuff to build up your record during vacation? Like volunteer work.”

“My grades are my specs.”

It sounded cocky at first, but since it was Hamin who said it, it made sense. Jaeha nodded quietly and asked.

“Sunbar, what are you going to do being first place like that?”

“Go to ENHA.”

“And then make a lot of money?”

The flow of conversation that had been going smoothly stopped. Hamin stared straight at Jaeha with an unreadable look, then shook his head.

“Not really.”

“Then why ENHA?”

“Because it’s the biggest.”

“What are you going to do at the biggest place?” Is this guy drunk?

With the endless questions piling up, Hamin rubbed his forehead, feeling a little tired.

“To succeed and change the world, why else?”

“What kind of world is a good world?”

Philosophy now?

Hamin seriously thought about ditching Han Jaeha, but instead cut the conversation off by leaning back against the wall. Then, after a while of asking questions, Jaeha finally went silent and quietly looked up at the sky.

Even though Seoul’s night sky had no stars and nothing worth seeing, his eyes shone as if he was looking at something very interesting. It was exactly the kind of thing a twenty-one-year-old would do.

Hamin looked up too, but all that was there was a covered moon sticking out in the pitch-black sky. It really wasn’t much of a sight.

He blinked slowly and turned Jaeha’s question over in his head.

What is a good world?

It was the kind of question you might get in an interview, but it was the first time he had heard it in a personal setting.

At the very least, it would be a world where six-year-old kids weren’t beaten or didn’t die unfair deaths.

He suddenly wondered what he would have become if he hadn’t died and had lived all the way. He thought about it for a long time, but somehow, he felt like he wouldn’t have become anything.

He would have just lived like that and then died, always staring only at a finish line that he didn’t even know existed.

It wasn’t a pleasant thought, so he quickly felt ‎ a headache coming. When he pressed his brows with his fingers, Jaeha, who had been staring at him, put out his cigarette and came closer.

“Should I take you home?”

“I’m not drunk.”

“But you’re not feeling good right now.”

Hamlin looked into the confident light-brown eyes. Jaeha took back the shirt in Hamin’s hand and put the wrinkled thing back on.

Hamin silently looked at him. How did you know? At that look, a faint smile appeared at the corner of his lips.

“Sunbae, when you don’t feel good, you press here.”

Tap.

His index finger lightly touched between his brows. Even though it was the hand that had just held a cigarette, Jaeha’s scent was stronger than the smell.

It was the smell of summer.

“I’ll buy you pudding on the way. Cheer up.”

Hamin drew in a breath that felt heavy. Some unknown feeling brushed past somewhere in his chest, but he drove the unfamiliar mood away by exhaling deeply.

“…I’m past the age where eating sweets makes me feel better.”

He closed his eyes. But he somehow felt a little better.

•••

Three weeks passed.

Tutoring paid well enough, but with many small things to manage, Hamin felt a bit worn out when the boss said with shining eyes,

“Hamin, you didn’t forget our promise, right?”

As he looked at Hamin’s expression asking “What promise,” the boss muttered with a face full of disappointment.

“We said every two weeks for your hair. You know I cut you a lot of slack?”

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah, that. For now, just come to the salon tomorrow, got it?”

Which was why he was sitting here like this now.

Once again wearing a pure white gown and sitting in front of a huge mirror, he let out a sigh. Maybe… he should just shave it all off?

“If you shave your head, I’ll give you a scalp massage every day.”

“Is mind-reading popular these days?”

“Anyone who doesn’t notice after pulling their hair like that every time would be an idiot.”

Kim Hyunwoo, who had finished the shampoo in place of the boss who had gone out to buy éclairs, grumbled.

“Hey, by the way, what’s going on between you and the boss’s kid?”

“He did something pretty harsh to me.” Hamin muttered.

The moment calculus started, watching him look at the derivative f’ and say, “Is this one win?” made Hamin feel like he had suffered something awful.

“He keeps asking what you like. Did you make him hold a grudge?”

“Wouldn’t someone who holds a grudge usually ask what you hate?”

“Is that so?”

Then why is he like that? At that question, Hamin went quiet, thinking for a moment. He could guess why. He had just been pretending not to notice because it was bothersome. But if the kid was obvious enough that people around them noticed, it would be a problem.

Now even a minor.

In his last life, it hadn’t been like this. For just knowing one person, Han Jaeha, too much had changed. At that moment, the boss returned to the shop and walked lightly up behind Hamin.

“How should I cut your hair?”

“As short as possible.”

“Of course, trimming just a little is better, right? Wait, I’ll make it great.”

Then why even ask?

Snip snip, the sound came right next to his ear. Even when cutting down to eyebrow length, the hands moved without hesitation.

“Today we’ll just trim, but next time, should we try something different?”

“Next time, please cut it short.”

“Even just styling it would look good.”

“I’d rather people think I’m about to enlist.”

“Ah, want to go out for company dinner tonight? I suddenly want pork belly. Hamin, can you drink?”

When Hammin just stayed quiet and stared forward, the boss chuckled and brushed his face with a sponge.

The big height and build must have run in the family, since the boss’s hands, as big as pot lids like Kwon Doyoung’s, passed right in front of his eyes.

“Can we call our kid too?”

“He has a lesson today.”

“Let’s just say he doesn’t.”

Did he really intend to improve his nephew’s grades? Should Hamin explain that the nephew had the kind of brain that, when shown a prime number, asked if it was one win? While he was thinking that over, Hamin soon changed his mind and nodded.

“Let’s call Kwon Doyoung too.”

“Huh? What’s up with that? Did you get close with our kid?”

Even Kim Hyunwoo, watching from the side, raised his eyebrows at Hamin’s unexpected answer. But since Hamin had no intention of explaining, he chose to just close his eyes.

What he had realized from the matter with Han Jaeha was that ignoring things blindly wouldn’t solve them. He had no intention of making the same mistake twice. This time, he would handle it properly.

‎

‎

There weren’t many people grilling pork belly in the middle of the day. In the quiet restaurant, while waiting for the meat to come out, the boss said, “I’ll just smoke one,” and stepped out.

An awkward air flowed between Kim Hyunwoo and Kwon Doyoung, who were left behind. Hamin sat in between and calmly picked up his phone to send a message.

Call me 3:27 p.m.

Meanwhile, the meat was served, and Doyoung laid it neatly on the sizzling grill.

“So… is studying going well? Seo Hamin’s personality isn’t making it hard for you…?”

“Hyung’s personality isn’t bad.”

When a blunt answer came back to his attempt to ease the mood, Hyunwoo tucked his lips in with a soft sound. Didn’t he not like Seo Hamin?

Rolling his eyes, Hyunwoo looked back and forth between Hamin and Doyoung, tilting his head at the strange air. Seo Hamin looked indifferent, but the boss’s kid, Doyoung, was definitely acting strange.

The thick, delicious-looking meat was all pushed toward Hamin. He stared at Hamin’s water glass, and as soon as it was emptied, he refilled it. Any side dish touched once with chopsticks, he moved forward within reach. He even carefully prepared tissues and wet wipes. It was almost like serving a chairman.

Watching all this with narrowed eyes, Hyunwoo let out a small sigh. He realized why Doyoung was acting that way.

“…How much did you torment the kid for him to be like this?”

The pitying look made Doyoung glare with an expression that seemed to ask what are you talking about, then quickly turned his head away.