CEL 37

“Good. Then let’s drop honorifics.”

Seoryeong blinked at the art department’s so-called male god who was treating her sweetly. She thought for a while about the interest that didn’t look like it came from pure goodwill.

That expression looks very purposeful.

The truth was, Seoryeong wanted to do the group project with Hamin this semester. She still felt sorry about her past mistake, and she liked Hamin’s easygoing nature that held no grudges.

When she came to Korea University, which gathered only the top students from across the country, she had expected things to be different. But this place was just another world where people lived.

When people gathered, cliques formed, and when cliques formed, invisible power struggles followed. Seoryeong found that exhausting. She wanted to enjoy university life, but inside those groups, no one really suited her taste.

It was the same during the festival. Unlike her, who wanted to put effort into everything, to make real memories, to do it properly, most people had no such thought. Actually, the ones who had no thoughts at all were still better. The worst were the ones who had no intention of doing anything yet hung around just to have their names there. People like Seyeon’s group.

It might not be an excuse, but since she was already irritable, the person brought along by that Park Seyeon ruined her mood further and made her stomach churn. Later, she thought she had vented her anger on the wrong person, but she had almost given up on ever meeting Hamin again. So seeing him now made her feel glad.

Seoryeong, lost in thought for a moment, finally answered late.

“Okay, let’s drop honorifics.”

“Since we’re talking about teams, are you alone?”

“No, I’m taking it with a friend from the business department. She couldn’t come today because of work, but she’ll also be in the team.”

“Great. Then you can be in the same team with us.”

“Us?”

Left out of the exchange, Hamin met her light brown eyes. Han Jaeha calmly pointed at himself, Kim Seoryeong, and then at Hamin in turn.

“Us.”

He laughed. It wasn’t because Han Jaeha’s behavior was absurd, but because even though his trick was obvious, the moment she heard it she thought about just accepting it, and she found herself ridiculous.

Is this what people call getting a ring through your nose?

Even while she thought so, another part of her mind kept whispering that if she really gave good grades, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. She knew it was rationalizing, but couldn’t help thinking about it.

“Uh… you said you’re dropping Sunbae…”

Two pairs of eyes landed on her. The ridiculousness of the situation suddenly made Hamin laugh. It was such a natural smile, one she had never seen before, that Seoryeong’s gaze lingered on him longer than usual.

At that instant, Jaeha’s heart sank. Unease coiled in the center of his chest.

Does she have interest in Seo Hamin?

He looked at Hamin with an unsteady gaze. Unlike before, his softened features caught and held his eyes.

These days, Hamin smiled often. Unlike at first, when he looked at people or things all the same way, his eyes sometimes carried warmth.

Just that small change made Jaeha feel as though the entire world recognized Seo Hamin as someone shining.

Seeing Jaeha’s face grow cold, Hamin finally spoke.

“Let’s do it. Same team.”

“Really? Then should I find the last person?”

“Do what you want.”

Jaeha, who she thought would be happy, unexpectedly looked indifferent. He bowed his head and anxiously picked at the hangnail on his nail.

I thought he would like it.

He went so far as to drag Seoryeong in with his tricks, and when she went along with it, why was he reacting like this?

Trying to gauge the unfathomable heart of a twenty-one-year-old, she exchanged contacts with Kim Seoryeong. After all, to do the project they needed each other’s numbers.

During the brief moment when the phone passed from hand to hand, eyes that looked like they would devour her followed the rectangular device and didn’t move away. Around that time, she too felt something odd and hunched her shoulders, but Hamin naturally let her go and then asked Jaeha,

“If you’re unhappy, say it.”

With his head still lowered, Jaeha mumbled softly.

“… I want to go to your place, sunbae.”

“Why all of a sudden?”

Jaeha didn’t answer. His blank gaze just wandered aimlessly near the floor. Watching that, Hamin stood up.

Did puberty hit late?

Originally, he planned to print out the second semester’s lecture materials and go home to skim them at least once. But now…

“Let’s go.”

Hamin pushed back the plan he had set. This kind of self no longer felt strange to him.

Until they left the school gate, Jaeha greeted everyone they met casually, but whenever Hamin looked at him, his expression stiffened. By this point, irritation started to grow. Hamin thought maybe Jaeha would say it once they got home, so he walked in silence, though his chest felt heavy and tight.

They soon arrived at his not-so-far rented room. He opened the door lock out of habit. As he entered the entrance to take off his shoes, his shoulder was grabbed and his body spun quickly.

“What…”

His lips were seized.

Large hands pressed hard against both sides of his face, and a soft tongue pushed between his parted lips. Like it had been its rightful place from the start, another person’s tongue explored inside his mouth. It ran along his teeth, probed under his tongue, rubbed against his palate.

When Hamin lifted his gaze, he met Jaeha’s furious expression. The moment their eyes locked, sharp canines bit down on his lip. It didn’t bleed, but it stung.

Hamin blinked slowly and raised his hand. Seeing that, Jaeha’s eyes dulled.

He’ll push me away.

He felt awful. Hamin and Seoryeong locking eyes, Hamin’s phone ending up in her hands, their contact being exchanged, every moment of it was miserable. It felt like someone had shoved kindling into his stomach.

He knew jealousy or anger toward Hamin wasn’t justified. Hamin hadn’t done anything, and neither had Seoryeong. This was just because he was twisted… because he wasn’t normal.

With gloomy eyes he looked at Hamin, until finally a light hand that carried no weight touched his body. Instead of shoving him away as expected, Hamin pulled his neck close in a firm embrace.

Jaeha froze. He was so shocked that even his breath stopped as he pulled his lips away. During that pause, Hamin’s forehead bumped into his and he asked,

“Why are you upset?”

Jaeha moved his lips blankly. The unexpected question made a foolish answer slip out.

“Sunbae…”

“Sunbae.”

“You’re too pretty…”

“Too pre…”

Repeating after him, Hamin stopped and sighed quietly. He had no idea what process led to this outcome.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“It felt like everyone was looking only at you.”

Isn’t that obvious? Han Jaeha is next to me.

Half of the eyes turned toward him, and the other half were people from the law department. Rumor must have spread after the festival that he and Jaeha were close, but seeing it in person was different, so most of them were just sneaking glances like it was a spectacle.

“Why does that matter?”

“I’m jealous.”

Jealousy…

Right, jealousy… it was about the time for that sort of thing.

Of course, Hamin had never once in his life felt jealousy, but he nodded pretending to understand. Each time he nodded, their foreheads bumped, and Jaeha frowned.

“You don’t need to.”

“You think it’s that easy?”

His eyes said, what would you know, sunbae. Standing in the doorway like this was ridiculous, so Hamin took off his shoes and pulled him inside. Jaeha, who let himself be led without resistance, slumped down in the middle of the small room that could be taken in with a single glance.

“I’ll get you water.”

As Hamin casually opened the fridge, Jaeha buried his face in his palms. Embarrassment hit late. It was humiliating.

Jealousy, really. He was acting like a little kid.

He already teased him by acting like an uncle whenever he could, and now it felt like Hamin wouldn’t even see him as an adult anymore.

Hamin handed him a glass of water while Jaeha sighed again. He turned on the air conditioner too. It was consideration for him. Even though it was early September, the weather was still like summer. Maybe Seo Hamin could bear it, but Jaeha couldn’t.

At that small action, the wrinkles between his brows disappeared. He liked things like that about Hamin. Even though he knew his money situation, whenever Jaeha came over, he lowered the air conditioner temperature, and he cooked two packs of ham that he could have stretched over several meals if he ate alone. Even now it was the same. He handed the glass with his left hand, a small gesture because he knew Jaeha was left-handed.

The heat that had been burning in his stomach moved up and tickled around his heart. Jaeha asked impulsively.

“Do you want to come to my studio?”

“Can I?”

Hamin tilted his head. Jaeha’s face flushed red, and he slowly nodded. Hamin had no idea when or how his thoughts kept shifting.

But looking at Jaeha’s paintings and visiting his workspace sounded appealing, so he answered, “Alright then,” and sat down.

His throat bobbed as the water slid down, clearly showing its path. His face, now back to normal, looked like usual.

“You can drop the class.”

“You said you wanted to take it.”

“I think I just wanted to be with you, not with everyone else.”

So fickle.

It was a class he could take or not take, no big deal. Hamin was about to answer that he’d drop it right away, but he held back.

He suddenly thought of something ,. How long could he stay like this with Jaeha? Even thinking only about next year, he knew it would be hard to spend time like this. In July there was the LEET exam, and the first semester would be hectic. Maybe this was the last chance to take a class with Jaeha.

Inside the lecture hall, Jaeha seemed like a different person. He smiled often, joked freely, acted lively like the others his age. It gave him a strange feeling, but seeing a side he didn’t know wasn’t unpleasant.

After a short thought, he answered.

“I’ll just take it.”

“…You don’t have interest in her, right?”

“Who, Kim Seoryeong?”

Jaeha grimaced like he didn’t even want to hear her name. Hamin gave a dry laugh and answered.

“Listen carefully, Han Jaeha. The person I was most interested in there was….”

Jaeha knew his own question was childish. But he couldn’t help it. Unless he asked, the restless feeling wouldn’t go away.

If only he were a little less good-looking, that would be better.

If his eyes were a bit smaller, or his lips a little crooked, or even his nose just slightly bigger, maybe this stupid nervousness would ease a little.

Expecting an answer that would calm him, Jaeha put on a relaxed expression.

At that moment, Hamin’s eyes curved slightly.

“It was the professor.”

…Seo Hamin, I really hate you.