CEL 41

He quietly lifted his dry eyes. He blinked and felt the shadow over his face disappear and fall again. He glanced sideways to find the reason. The overlapped paper fluttered through Hamin’s hand.

When he raised his gaze a little higher, he saw coffee that had turned lukewarm with the ice half melted. He had thought he would just sleep for a little while, but it seemed he had slept for quite a long time.

So had Hamin been doing that the whole time?

Since it was the start of autumn, the cafe didn’t have the air conditioner on. It wasn’t particularly hot outside, but because he was sitting by the window and the sunlight came in, maybe Hamin thought he would feel hot, so Hamin kept fanning him with his hand.

Looking at the page, he saw it was far ahead of where he had been making notes earlier. Since his hand had been taken away, it looked like Hamin had been reviewing instead.

His heart pounded. It felt like someone with a thick brush was tickling his heart.

“..I woke up.”

Hamin glanced at him, kneaded his arm once without a word, then flipped the page back.

He hadn’t believed him when he szid that just looking at his face could be fun, but he hadn’t expected him to fall asleep so quickly, so he felt a bit dumbfounded.

Jaeha already overheated easily, and now he was crumpling his body while taking the sunlight head-on, so sweat was about to form on his forehead. In the end, Hamin sighed and offered one arm. He thought it was better than Jaeha glancing here and there at him all the time, so he took it positively.

“Did you study a lot?”

As he said that, Han Jaeha sat up and tapped his cheek lightly. It was a gentle touch.

“Just enough.”

“Sunbae.”

When their eyes met, Jaeha’s light brown eyes twisted a little with unease.

“I want to drink alcohol right now.”

Hamin didn’t answer immediately. This wasn’t Seoul, and Han Jaeha had brought the car. So saying he wanted to drink meant he wanted to sleep over here. Of course, they could also call a driver, but looking at his eyes that seemed like he wanted to devour him, that didn’t seem to be it.

So was he saying he wanted to…?

Tomorrow was Monday, and he had no class, but Han Jaeha had morning classes. He thought of the schedule he had managed to get legally and was about to shake his head, but a big finger gently grabbed and let go of his hand. It meant not to refuse.

So sly.

He sighed as he looked at Han Jaeha, who had gone off-track again for some reason. It was only natural that his face brightened immediately once he realized that sigh meant agreement.

Since they couldn’t find any proper hotel or restaurant nearby, they bought old-style fried chicken and a few bottles of soju and went into a motel. Considering their drinking capacity, it was doubtful this much would even make them tipsy, but since both knew alcohol wasn’t the real purpose, it didn’t matter.

It was the most expensive room in the most decent-looking motel nearby, but even so, it was tiny. When they put the chicken and six bottles of soju on the small table, the space filled up right away.

Maybe they should have just gone into the city and booked a hotel.

When Hamin quietly followed him without saying anything, he started to feel a little embarrassed. The faded blanket color and the not very clean-looking bathroom kept bothering him. As if he had read his mind, Hamin put on gloves first and neatly pulled the chicken apart. One large torn leg was pushed in front of him.

“Ah, I didn’t buy cups.”

Holding a chicken leg in one hand, Jaeha looked belatedly flustered. There were cups in the motel too, but he didn’t want to use them because they seemed unclean. He was about to wonder if he should go out again to buy disposable cups when Hamin took off his gloves and opened the soju bottle.

“Just drink. You handle alcohol well.”

“…This really kills the mood.”

“What, did you think we’d open wine at a hotel?”

Hamin laughed. He didn’t have any particular thoughts either way. Since they had already decided to stay overnight, he figured he might as well let him have whatever he wanted.

He pushed the green bottle forward. With an awkward look, Han Jaeha clinked bottles with him.

They drank before even touching the food. It smelled like industrial ethanol but also sweet. Back when he was a junior, he had thought seniors saying alcohol tasted sweet just made them sound like old men, but apparently it wasn’t only that.

Drinking from the bottle made it hard to measure, and when he saw Hamin down a third in one gulp, Jaeha was shocked.

“Drink slowly. I’m the one who can handle alcohol, sunbae, right?”

“You already know that.”

The casual answer made Jaeha unconsciously relax and laugh, he then emptied half the soju bottle in one go.

“Do you know you looked like a real crazy bastard back then?”

“Why do you say it like you don’t think that anymore?”

“Sunbae is cut out for being a lawyer. I’m sure of it.”

He popped a piece of chicken meat into his mouth while listening to the added words that he wasn’t just perceptive in an ordinary way. It was from some random place, but it tasted good. He realized he didn’t really have a memory of properly eating fried chicken before. Since food like that felt burdensome to eat alone, if it wasn’t something easy to store and finish later, he didn’t usually touch it.

Knowing he ate well, Han Jaeha gave up his own chicken leg for him.

The side dishes were poor, but maybe because the mood wasn’t bad, the alcohol went down easier than expected.

Jaeha suddenly spoke when Hamin had already put away a bottle and a half, and Jaeha had finished three.

“…Do you actually know I have an older brother?”

“Older brother?”

If it was older brother, then was it the son of the chairman of the Seoil Group?

It wasn’t hard to recall past information, but Hamin acted calm and pretended not to know. Since he had seen him crying on TV, he felt like he could recognize him even just from the back of his head.

Was the name Heo Juyeop? He hadn’t looked like Jaeha.

As he recalled that awkward face that looked like a cheaper version, he lifted the leftover bottle, but Jaeha snatched what he had left and drank it all in one go.

“We’re not really close.”

After a long time of choosing his words, Han Jaeha finally managed one sentence. His face looked like even he didn’t know what he was trying to say.

Hamin started at him blankly and replied.

“I’ve cut ties with the whole world.”

“…Is that something to brag about?”

“This isn’t easy either.”

He stuffed the little meat left into Jaeha’s mouth. He didn’t know the detailed family situation, but at least he was sure the relationship wasn’t good. That was why even after Jaeha died, they had been obsessed only with the inheritance.

Hamin had for the first time wished there was no afterlife as he witnessed that ugly sight. If Jaeha had seen with his own eyes what happened after his death, that much would have made even him feel bitter.

“Don’t try to look good for people who treat you badly.”

“…What if then everyone hates me? What if I end up like you, sunbae?”

Look at this kid?

Hamin raised his eyebrows slightly and lowered them, then answered flatly.

“Then you’ll be someone people hate.”

“If I act the way I want, no one will like me.”

“I don’t think so.”

He wiped his hands with a wet tissue. The grease didn’t come off completely, leaving them shiny. When he stood to wash, Jaeha suddenly pulled him close. He pulled Hamin onto his thigh and buried his nose against his collarbone and whispered.

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying.”

His dry eyes looked a bit gloomy. Hamin quietly patted his shoulder. Jaeha, who quietly accepted the touch, after a few minutes opened the last soju bottle and emptied it to the end.

Even if he could hold alcohol well, could he really drink like this?

It felt like less than forty minutes since they had come into the room, yet empty bottles were scattered everywhere. The problem wasn’t just getting drunk but whether he might go into acute alcohol poisoning, which was frightening.

“Actually, I had a family gathering yesterday.”

“Family gathering?”

“It wasn’t good.”

Yeah, it really wasn’t good. As he repeated that, Hamin brought the back of his hand to Jaeha’s eyes and carefully brushed over his eyelids. No tears came out, but the dense eyelashes tickled his skin.

He didn’t like that Han Jaeha was down because of that inheritance thief. Since that side didn’t even see him as family anyway, he thought it would be better to just cut ties, but seeing Jaeha like this made him think there must be another reason. It seemed he wasn’t ready to tell yet, but he couldn’t just leave him like this either.

“I…”

Hamin hesitated a little and said.

“Your nature isn’t bad.”

“…..”

“So it’s not true that everyone will hate you.” As soon as he finished speaking Jaeha laughed.

What a ridiculous person.

“Yeah.”

But the most ridiculous thing was that he was actually comforted by those words.

Their tongues tangled. He naturally turned his head in the kiss he had gotten used to, he felt Jaeha bite down on his tongue with his canine teeth, as if he was dissatisfied. Why bite like this when he could just say it in words?