Chapter 57

They had last met at the alumni gathering, which was only about one or two months ago. So Zhan Hong was actually somewhat surprised. Guan Heng appeared outwardly warm, but his personality was actually quite cold; he wasn’t the type to quickly fall into a passionate relationship with someone. However, considering Guan Heng’s obsessive nature, it wasn’t surprising either. Once he set his sights on something, he was the kind who would rather destroy it than let go. But given Guan Heng’s intelligence, there was no way he’d let himself get to that point. He would either make the other party fear him to death or love him to death.

In all honesty, Zhan Hong found Guan Heng’s character very intriguing, precisely because it was so rare. “How long have you been together?”

If you counted from when Guan Heng truly agreed to be with Ye Zhou, it was roughly around the time of the alumni gathering. “We’ve known each other for more than half a year, and we’ve been dating for nearly two months.”

Zhan Hong nodded, feeling a bit like fate was playing tricks on them. He had seen too many normal and abnormal people, but no one could truly distinguish where the difference lay. Normal people could commit heinous crimes against their conscience, while the abnormal ones made great efforts to learn how to become normal. To him, these were all displays of human nature, nothing different, so he wouldn’t say that Guan Heng’s decision to be with someone who had a hidden illness was wrong. “If you had been willing to join this profession back then, today it would have been you treating Ye Zhou.”

“It’s all the same.” Guan Heng wasn’t incapable of doing this job; he hadn’t spent less time researching psychology over the years than a regular psychiatrist. He had both theory and practical experience, he just knew he wasn’t suited for it. But if it was just taking care of Ye Zhou, he would never make any mistakes.

There was no third person in the clinic room, so Zhan Hong didn’t beat around the bush and directly exposed Guan Heng’s dark thoughts that he wouldn’t admit to others. “Actually, you’re pretty pleased inside, right? There’s someone whose eyes and heart are all for you, loves you to death, does your sick sense of control satisfy you?”

Why did Ye Zhou’s hallucinations feature Guan Heng? And only Guan Heng. This was already enough to explain the reason. Ye Zhou’s subconscious was afraid of being separated from him and didn’t want him to leave.

This was what Guan Heng had always wanted. Time after time, Ye Zhou gave it all to him without holding back.

“Yes,” Guan Heng didn’t deny it. In front of Zhan Hong, he didn’t need to hide anything. When he thought of Ye Zhou’s shocked expression a few days ago after realizing his thoughts, he smiled faintly. “He knows everything.”

“Tsk, now you’re even bragging to me.” Zhan Hong put on a look of disgust, but inside he was happy. He knew how hard it was for Guan Heng. “Truly, every pot has its lid.”

Guan Heng smiled, knowing it was a blessing. “Thank you, teacher.”

When Ye Zhou finally finished his examination, he still had to consult with Director Wang. After all this trouble, it was late when they finished.

Actually, Ye Zhou’s condition wasn’t as serious as he had imagined. It was all within manageable limits. He was just scaring himself a bit, plus the impact of his genetic history and the tragic outcome of his parents had put a lot of mental pressure on him. In short, he needed some medication first, then follow-up visits would be necessary. But with Guan Heng around, there was nothing to worry about.

The two said goodbye to Zhan Hong and Director Wang, and it was already two o’clock in the morning when they got home.

Although Guan Heng had taken the initiative to kiss him in the car, Ye Zhou wasn’t sure if Guan Heng was really over being angry, but even so, he couldn’t pretend nothing had happened. He knew that Guan Heng wasn’t actually angry at him for hiding things, but was angry that he didn’t trust him, and hadn’t come to him for advice the moment something happened.

So after Guan Heng opened the door and entered the house, Ye Zhou called out from behind him, “Brother Heng.”

Guan Heng turned around, reaching out to turn on the light. Ye Zhou stopped his action, thinking that saying something heartfelt in the darkness might make him less embarrassed. “I was wrong. I didn’t distrust you, I was just very scared. I really want to be good to you for the rest of my life, but I’m also worried that I don’t have that qualification, and I’m worried…that my parents’ tragedy will repeat itself. So when you said you wanted to tie me to your side, I was actually secretly happy…I felt selfish, yet happy…please don’t be disappointed in me, okay?”

Guan Heng didn’t answer the question, instead asking, “So that’s why you asked me if I would ever be violent at home?”

Ye Zhou was taken aback, belatedly realizing that Guan Heng was referring to the day he confessed on Christmas, and he didn’t expect Guan Heng to remember those words. It was a little embarrassing. “No, I didn’t think much about it then…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t get physical, and you can’t beat me anyway, so your worries are unnecessary.” After Guan Heng said this, he added, “But if you’re disobedient, I’ll tie you up.”

Ye Zhou knew that Guan Heng was being serious, talking about the possibility of him losing control during an episode, but he didn’t know if he was reading too much into it, why did it sound so strange? “Okay.”

Guan Heng asked again, “So have you thought it through now?”

“I’ve thought it through.” Ye Zhou knew that it was difficult for someone like him to gain the approval of others, but happiness was something that had to be fought for, it was absolutely not something to rely on others’ pity or come by accident. From the beginning, it was he who took the initiative to approach Guan Heng, he was the one who worked hard to chase him down, this was what he deserved. “I won’t say such things anymore, I will never leave you.”

“Mmm.” Guan Heng’s eyes softened in the darkness. He reached out to touch Ye Zhou’s neck, answering the question from before. “I haven’t been disappointed in you, never have.”

On the contrary, he had gained complete satisfaction from Ye Zhou, something he could never obtain from anyone else.

Ye Zhou was moved, and took the opportunity to hug him.

Guan Heng stroked Ye Zhou’s hair. “Do you believe me? I won’t let you become like that.”

“I believe you. I don’t know how to say it, but you certainly have a way to do it.” Ye Zhou buried his face in Guan Heng’s neck and shoulder, admitting now, “Actually, I had a good impression of you from our first meeting. But back then…”

Ye Zhou laughed, not mentioning the scene where he stumbled upon him breaking up with Yue Shu. “But on the day I hurt my foot, when you helped me, I felt at that moment that you made me feel safe, comfortable to be around, and especially…especially fond of your pectoral muscles.”

Guan Heng seemed to smile. “I know.”

Ye Zhou had been holding back for too long, many words were stuck in his heart and uncomfortable. Now that he had said it, he didn’t mind revealing his vulnerable side. “…That period of time, sometimes I couldn’t tell when you were real and when you were fake. I even began to doubt, and wasn’t too sure whether the things that happened before were really real, or just my hallucination. That was the most terrifying thing. Often, I could only rely on your scent and body heat…”

“It’s real.” Guan Heng held onto the back of his neck, his palm firmly yet gently enveloping Ye Zhou’s entire being. He was like a mountain, standing tall and firm, as if nothing could shake him. “If you can’t tell, I’ll repeat it over and over again until you remember.”

Ye Zhou grabbed onto the corner of Guan Heng’s shirt.

Guan Heng’s voice was clear and gentle, filled with the harshness of reality, yet the most moving words of love. “Zhouzhou, mental illness may accompany you for the rest of your life, but it’s not a terminal illness. I’ve accepted the best and worst outcomes, so don’t be afraid, I’ll face it with you.”

“Mmm.” Ye Zhou nodded silently at first, then finally couldn’t resist it and hugged Guan Heng’s neck tightly to kiss him.

They hadn’t been intimate for a while, it was like dry wood catching fire at a touch.

Both of their bodies reacted quickly, but it was so late, and Guan Heng had driven for so long today, he must be tired. Ye Zhou wasn’t sure if he should continue. “Are you tired? Otherwise…”

“Do you want to?”

Ye Zhou struggled internally for a moment, but still answered honestly. “…Yes.”

“Then you take the lead.”

They didn’t return to the bedroom. The lubricant Ye Zhou had bought and placed in the living room drawer came in handy. He took off his pants, his shirt remained intact, and he straddled Guan Heng’s lap with his long legs.

Ye Zhou wasn’t a slender and weak figure. His legs had a beautiful curve of muscle, taut and sexy, and his ass was firm. He found the hem of his shirt a bit long and a hindrance, so he grabbed the corner of his shirt and bit it in his mouth. He then squeezed some lubricant into his hand and reached around to expand, not acting coy, accomplishing it in one smooth motion. Perhaps because he had been the top before, these habits hadn’t changed.

Guan Heng looked down, and Ye Zhou’s lower body was fully exposed, his penis erect and secreting glistening beads of fluid. Ye Zhou’s appearance of biting the corner of his shirt was even more restrained and sensual, emitting muffled moans as he expanded his fingers. “Mm…”

Guan Heng reached out to hold the back of his neck, lowering his head to kiss him.

“Mmph—” Ye Zhou had to kiss while expanding, and it was simply too difficult to manage both. After his tongue was sucked by Guan Heng, his expansion actions slowly stopped.

Guan Heng gently bit his tongue, saying, “If we drag this out, it will be daylight soon.”

Ye Zhou was now in a position where he couldn’t go up or down, unable to stop at all. So he could only continue to work hard and shamefully on his own ass. Teacher Guan was back, he must still be holding a grudge. He didn’t look tired at all, he wasn’t the only one who wanted this.

Guan Heng bit him again. “What are you thinking about?”

“N-nothing…” Ye Zhou’s brief distraction was quickly noticed, but he liked Guan Heng’s playful mind games. Everything he had now was hard-won and worth cherishing.

Ye Zhou wasn’t inexperienced. He quickly prepared himself, but he did it a bit hastily, lacking patience. He impatiently pulled out his finger and tried to sit on the other’s lower body.

Guan Heng checked. “Not enough.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Ye Zhou couldn’t avoid his gaze, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I like the feeling of a little pain when you first enter…”

He didn’t like pain, but that instant when he was possessed by Guan Heng gave him a sense of security.

Hearing this, Guan Heng didn’t say anything more. As Ye Zhou slowly sat down, he gave him a hand, holding his waist and forcefully thrusting in, and without resistance, went straight to the bottom.

“Ahh—” Ye Zhou frowned. The whole process was indeed painful and pleasurable, but this was what he wanted. No matter if he would have another episode in the future, no matter if he could distinguish reality from hallucination, he would always remember this moment. “Guan Heng, I love you.”

End of Main Story