CTL 25

“Executive Director, you can call for a designated driver.”

“……”

Yoongeon glared at him silently, but Seohwi did not back down because of it. After confirming that Yoongeon was securely fastened in the passenger seat, he got into the driver’s seat and began to press him to quickly call for a driver. Unable to withstand his pestering, Yoongeon eventually called for a designated driver.

“It’s cold, isn’t it? Just a moment.”

A notification message appeared, saying it would take about fifteen minutes for the driver to arrive. Muttering, “Fifteen minutes,” Seohwi started the engine, saying they should at least have the heater on.

“……”

To be honest, he did not like it because he thought stale air would come out. But that was not the problem.

“……”

“……”

“…Uh.”

Seohwi, who was trying to start the engine, looked at Yoongeon with a slightly flustered face. I knew this would happen. Yoongeon let out a deep sigh.

“You said it was fine?”

How dare he say it was fine about a car that won’t even start properly? But Seohwi, saying he did not know why it was acting up when it had been fine all this time, tried to start the engine again. The engine started after exactly eight attempts.

“…It’s because the weather is cold.”

“……”

“The battery drains faster when the weather is cold. I can just go to the auto shop and get it replaced.”

“You can just get a new one.”

“It’s still fine—”

“It is not. Don’t you have eyes, Mr. Yoon Seohwi?”

“……”

At the rebuke asking if he had not just seen the engine start only on the eighth try, Seohwi, too, seemed to have nothing to say and kept his mouth firmly shut.

“Is it that hard to get a new one?”

Is there any difficulty in buying a new car? Of course, it would be difficult if he did not have money, but….

“Ah, I really don’t understand.”

Yoongeon muttered to himself, dumbfounded. He just could not hold back the sudden surge of irritation. There’s a limit to deceiving people. All he could think was that he had been tricked.

“I thought you didn’t have money.”

“Money?”

“Bringing a rag and calling it clothes, or driving a car like this and saying it’s good.”

“I never said I didn’t have money.”

“No, you’re the son of the owner here, so why…!”

He had been worried to himself, wondering if he had been born into a poor family environment this time as well. Yoongeon snapped.

“Your family isn’t poor, are they?”

“No.”

Seohwi’s blank face, as if asking why he had made such a misunderstanding, made Yoongeon’s anger explode. Ah. This punk, really.

“Are you even serious right now?”

“……”

As he spoke, he grew more heated. A vein popped out on Yoongeon’s forehead.

“Why on earth do you go around like that?”

“Like what.”

“There’s no need to go around looking shabby, so why are you doing it?”

“Everything is fine. It just doesn’t meet the Executive Director’s standards.”

“If a car like this breaks down on something like the highway, you’ll get into an accident!”

Just as in the past, Seohwi still had a foolish side to him. Yoongeon closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his emotions for a moment. He had lost his temper over something trivial again. No, but this bastard started it.

“And why do you work when you’re sick? You can just say you’re sick. All you have to do is say it, so why don’t you say it and put yourself through that? Don’t you have a mouth? Huh?”

“……”

He tried to calm his emotions and speak politely again, but Yoongeon, who had been repeatedly thwarted by Seohwi’s indifferent nature since the past, could not calm down easily. He still could not understand why this punk was like this.

In the past, Seohwi had made an incompetent halfwit his personal eunuch simply because he did not like things to be complicated. That was Eunuch Woo. As for that punk, he was so slow and dull that he would get on Yoongeon’s nerves several times a day, but Seohwi endured the inconvenience and did not dismiss the eunuch. Since Seohwi did not dismiss him, it was natural that Yoongeon could not touch him.

Seohwi did not particularly like things that were overly sharp and skillful. So, there were many times he endured inconvenience, and Yoongeon did not like that, both then and now.

“Haaah….”

“The restaurant gets too busy if there are no part-timers.”

“You can ask your younger sister. If you tell her you’re sick, she’ll do it, won’t she?”

“She said she wanted to hang out with Cheongha today.”

“……”

Even though he clearly knew that Yoongeon was both annoyed and worried, he did not yield a single word.

“……”

It was not the first or second time he had been swayed by the naturally indifferent Seohwi, so in the end, it was Yoongeon who gave up. His head was throbbing, so he buried himself in the seat and was seething to himself when Seohwi took his hand, which was lying carelessly there.

“…What is it.”

He turned his head at that familiar warmth, and Seohwi was smiling faintly.

“Because I’m grateful.”

“……”

“Ah, the designated driver is here. Just a moment.”

He took the car key from Yoongeon and went outside. After watching the designated driver get in with a strangely excited expression upon seeing the expensive car, Seohwi returned and started the car.

“This car is one my father bought for me when I started university. He said I didn’t need to buy a new car since first cars often get into accidents. Anyway, it was a used car even back then, so as the Executive Director said, it’s old.”

“……”

“We’re not short of money at home, but he also taught me not to spend it recklessly, and I just got used to it, so I didn’t think about changing it.”

It was as they were leaving the restaurant’s exit and merging onto the road. Unexpectedly, Seohwi spoke first.

“Actually, I was thinking of changing it around next year. But my thoughts changed after winning the competition. I wanted the first car I buy with my own money to be the car I designed. So I’m holding out without changing it.”

He thought Seohwi would just give a short answer and end the conversation as he pleased, like in the past, but he did not. There were times he paused while thinking, but he spoke in a placating manner until Yoongeon understood.

“And…”

Yoongeon found Seohwi’s manner of explaining everything one by one without glossing over it to be unfamiliar, but his heart gradually calmed down.

In the past, he had to guess Seohwi’s feelings because he did not reveal his inner thoughts, and at those times, Yoongeon’s insides would rot because he could not even say he was upset. Having to think and make judgments on his own was not only mentally exhausting, but he also often found the cause in himself, leading to self-blame.

But it was different now. As Seohwi told him without hiding why he had acted that way and how he had felt, Yoongeon did not blame himself and could understand him completely. The fact that he did not snap back fiercely was a bonus.

“I don’t want to make my younger sister work. If it’s too busy, it can’t be helped, but if not, I usually do everything.”

“……Why.”

Seohwi, glancing at Yoongeon who had started speaking formally again as if he had calmed down, smiled and muttered to himself that it was a relief.

“Well. I just don’t like it when my sister has a hard time.”

The cars filling the road moved slowly. They stopped at traffic lights repeatedly without going even a hundred meters, but Yoongeon did not feel any frustration because all his attention was focused on him.

“I want to treat her well, Seoyoung.”

“…Seoyoung?”

When he inadvertently asked back, “Not Seoryeong?” Seohwi looked back at Yoongeon.

“How did you know? That was Seoyoung’s fetal name.”

“Ah…”

“She said Seoyoung appeared in her conception dream and said her name was ‘Seoryeong.’ That’s why her name is Seoyoung now. The name we were originally going to give her was Yeseul, but we changed it.”

“……”

“Actually, my name wasn’t originally Seohwi either.”

“…Did you also say your name was Seohwi in a conception dream, Mr. Yoon Seohwi?”

“No. I changed my name.”

This was something he did not know. As he was wondering to himself what name he had received in this life, Seohwi answered.

“My original name is Seojoon, Yoon Seojoon.”

As he spoke while looking at the red light, Yoongeon turned to look at him. Yoon Seojoon…. It was a name that did not roll off the tongue.

“The man in my dream kept looking at me and calling me ‘Seohwi.’ So I changed it. Because I thought he might not recognize me if my name was different.”

He absolutely had to ask about that. Yoongeon hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“Why are you waiting for that man?”

“Because I miss him.”

“……”

“I don’t know his face… but I think I’ll know if that person smiles. Because I saw the shape of his mouth when he smiled.”

Seohwi’s gaze turned to Yoongeon’s lips.

“I’ll know if you smile.”

“……”

He waited as if hoping Yoongeon would smile, but Yoongeon did not smile. He had no intention of smiling. Now, he had forgotten even how to smile, so he could not do it. Besides, if he could be recognized by his smile, Yoongeon absolutely must not do it. Because he must not recognize him.

“…I see.”

So, there was nothing he could say. He was not unaware of what Seohwi was trying to say, but that was not what Yoongeon wanted.

Is the man in the dream me? It probably is.

He said he did not know because he had not seen his face, but Yoongeon thought it was probably him. Had he not been desperately searching for him in his dreams? He had forgotten the two letters of the name ‘Yoongeon’ that he had uttered in his sleep, but Yoongeon could not bring himself to forget.

Yoongeon said no more and kept his mouth firmly shut. Seohwi looked at him several times, and though he felt that gaze, Yoongeon did not look back until the end.

The old car had a poor ride. He said he maintained it periodically, but the air from the heater was stuffy, and it occasionally made unsettling noises. Perhaps because he had been unconsciously tense during the ride from the restaurant to home, his back had become stiff. So Yoongeon did not know. The fact that he, who had maintained silence, had dozed off.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Are you awake?”

“……”

When Yoongeon opened his eyes, Seohwi’s car was parked in the first basement level parking lot. Seohwi was looking at Yoongeon with his arms on the steering wheel, his chin propped on his hand. How long had he been looking at him like that?

“You seemed to be sleeping soundly, so I didn’t wake you.”

Surprised, he checked the clock and saw that it was already past eleven at night. He quickly took out his phone and saw several missed calls from his mother. He had not known because he had put his phone on silent while having dinner with his great-aunt earlier. He called her and said that something urgent had come up and he had returned home. His mother seemed disappointed but understood and let it go.

“Come to think of it, you were supposed to sleep at your parents’ house today. I completely forgot too.”

Seohwi, who had been sitting next to him quietly listening to the call, said, but Yoongeon did not answer and got out of the car. It was because he was quite flustered. He had definitely thought it was uncomfortable, so when did he fall asleep? He even felt refreshed.

“……”

Actually, he knew. It was not because the car was good that he had fallen asleep. It was because Seohwi was next to him that he had slept so soundly. But after complaining so much about the car, for him to just fall asleep, how ridiculous Seohwi must think he is. Yoongeon bit his lip, feeling unnecessarily ashamed.

“I’ll accept the car.”

It was as he was getting on the elevator as if fleeing. Seohwi, who had followed him in, said.

“……What did you say?”

“The car. You said it was old and you didn’t like looking at it.”

“…You were just insisting it was fine a moment ago.”

“The Executive Director is worried. So I thought there’s no need to be stubborn. And it also seems very uncomfortable for the Executive Director to sleep. Give it to me, a spacious one with a good ride if possible.”

“……”

It was nothing special, but the words that he would readily accept a car for the reason that he looked uncomfortable were overly sweet. Liking that he did not refuse what he was giving, Yoongeon’s face flushed red in an instant.

“…What did you just say?”

“That I’ll do as the Executive Director wants. Because I don’t like you sleeping uncomfortably next to me.”

“……”

What’s with this punk, saying things like this so casually. Flustered by the cheesy words, Yoongeon tried to get away.

“You should rest.”

Feeling the heat rise to his face so clearly, Yoongeon said anything just to get away. He intended to go into his room and lock the door so that Seohwi could not follow.

“Just a moment.”

As Yoongeon was walking quickly, Seohwi grabbed his hand.

“Why do you have that look on your face?”

It was obvious what kind of face he had without even looking. It would be a dull and grotesque face. If not that, then disgusting. His face was beet red and expressionless, so of course it would be like that.

He could not possibly show such a face to him. He had to be alone, at least until this heat subsided. In front of Yoongeon’s eyes, his slightly open room door came into view. Feeling rushed, Yoongeon pulled his hand away forcefully and started to run. But damn it, the room was too far away. This blasted house was uselessly large, so it took an eternity to get there.

“Where are you keep going, just a moment.”

As Yoongeon used his strength to run away, Seohwi grabbed him and said urgently.

“Executive Director.”

“Let go.”

He did not want to be found out. What on earth was it about those words that made him act so foolishly? Yoongeon hated this side of himself.

But Seohwi did not let go and instead pushed him against the wall. Because of that, they were face to face in an instant, rendering his efforts to escape useless. Seohwi stared blankly at Yoongeon’s flushed face.

“……”

“……”

A heavy silence descended between them. Yoongeon was angry at himself for not being able to handle a single one of his emotions properly, but he could not understand why Seohwi was like that. He held Yoongeon’s shoulders to keep him from escaping and stared at him intently for a long time, only opening his mouth just before Yoongeon’s patience completely ran out.

“Do you like me?”

“……”

He had to say no, but the words did not come out at that moment. The words were about to come out but got stuck in his throat.

“……”

He remained silent. At Seohwi’s question of whether he liked him, Yoongeon froze on the spot. Seeing his eyes tremble with fear, Seohwi asked why he was acting like that. It was only natural that he could not answer.

While being held by him, Yoongeon turned his head, and unable to bear the suddenly surfacing past, he pushed Seohwi away forcefully. “No,” he muttered, running into his room and locking the door.

[Executive Director, open this.]

He knocked on the door. As if angry, his punches were quite fierce. But Yoongeon did not open it. Yoongeon slid down, leaning against the door.

“……Hah, hah….”

His hand, which was on the floor, trembled. He closed his eyes and tried hard to calm down, but suddenly he could not breathe.

“Cough, ……gasp….”

His vision spun. Yoongeon gasped, clutching his throat, and collapsed on the floor. He must have pushed something over as he fell, making a thud sound, but he did not even know it hurt.

“Gasp, ……Ah……”

He tried to breathe somehow, but it was no use. He could not breathe.

[Executive Director? What’s wrong, this, damn it, Executive Director!]

At the unusual sound from inside, Seohwi tried to open the door from the outside. He should have told him not to come in, but he could not even breathe at the moment, so there was no way that would be possible.

In agony, Yoongeon clutched his own throat and staggered to his feet. This would not do. To breathe, he needed something, anything, right now. Only by cutting his flesh and drawing blood with it would his airway open. His vision was dizzy, and he fell several times before barely walking to where the bed was. Yoongeon reached for the piece of mirror hidden in the nightstand drawer but fell with a loud noise.

It was then. The sound of the door breaking was heard, and Seohwi came in. Seohwi, who turned on the light and was looking for Yoongeon, saw his legs sticking out from under the bed and rushed over.

“……”

At that moment, Yoongeon was just staring blankly with his eyes open. He could not do anything as his mind grew hazy from not being able to breathe, and when Seohwi picked him up in his arms, the broken piece of mirror fell from his loosely held hand.

“What is this…. Executive Director, get a hold of yourself.”

Seohwi called him, but Yoongeon could not answer. That was because he could not hear him calling. He could not see, so he did not even know who was in front of him.

But one thing he could tell was that someone was holding him very desperately. A familiar embrace…. At that moment, a cough burst from Yoongeon’s throat.

“Cough…!”

He took a deep breath and clung to him tightly. The scent of the person he loved, the body of the person he had missed.