CTL 26

It was a long time ago.

There was a time when he was desperate to win Seohwi’s heart.

Yoongeon, in his quest to unify the world, had brought down Seohwi’s nation and, on the grounds that he had dared to insolently defy him, threw him into the concubines’ palace. Thus, he thought he could naturally humiliate him.

But that was not the case. He lost his heart to Seohwi. He was drawn to the languid and listless man, who seemed willing to appear as a stranger. He fell for him helplessly and struggled, but Seohwi drew a line to keep him from approaching. He called himself an ‘eternal stranger’ and turned away from Yoongeon, and showed a sad face at his confession.

He still remembers. At that moment when he confessed his feelings, Seohwi looked at Yoongeon and said. Do you want me. When he said he did, he spoke again.

‘What do you wish to do with me.’

The face of someone hearing a confession of love could not have looked so sad.

That was why. In a situation exactly like that time, when asked if he liked him, Yoongeon’s heart was once again shattered to pieces by the words casually uttered by the newly born Seohwi. The terror of seeing that face back then, the fear, instantly engulfed Yoongeon.

So Yoongeon could not breathe. While saying he did not want to live, Yoongeon ran away. Seeing as he wanted to breathe again even if it meant drawing blood, it seemed that all his talk of dying was nothing but lies and deceit.

The path to the bed was too far. His vision blurred and his mind grew hazy. His body collapsed, rendering the piece of mirror he barely managed to hold useless, and his strength drained away.

Perhaps that was why. Thanks to his brain not functioning properly due to the lack of air, he was no longer in pain. Yoongeon thought that since he was not in pain, this was good enough. Dying from suffocation is painful, but it was not so at the moment….

He was dazed, just dazed, only blinking his eyes. But someone desperately pulled him into an embrace. Funnily enough, as soon as he was held in that embrace, his breath finally burst out. The moment his breath burst out, what flooded into Yoongeon’s lungs was the scent of the person he had loved, he loves, and will love in the future.

Perhaps Yoongeon had not been short of breath at all.

✧ ✧ ✧

In an instant, a cold sweat broke out. He was so startled that his heart was still pounding, thump thump. Yoongeon, who had been holding him tightly until just a moment ago, soon lost consciousness and went limp. When he shook him in surprise, he was thankfully still breathing.

“Heok… heok……”

Seohwi had just now realized that people can run out of breath when they are too surprised. He could not do anything while holding the limp Yoongeon. His shocked eyes were wide open.

Unable to calm down at all, Seohwi could not even move for a while, just holding him. All he did was tremble and hold Yoongeon. He should have either gone to the hospital or, if not that, called Yebin to ask for a doctor, but his thoughts did not reach that far.

“Executive Director.”

He looked at his face, checked Yoongeon’s body, and then held him again. This went on for several minutes. Suddenly, he remembered that for someone who could not breathe properly, all constricting things on the body should be removed.

“I’m sorry. Just a moment…”

He apologized to the unconscious man who could not even hear him and began to undress him. It was just a matter of unbuttoning his clothes, yet his hands trembled so much that he fumbled several times. Annoyed with himself for not moving as he wished, Seohwi bit his lip hard. A sharp pain shot through him, and only then did his strength return.

“I can do it. I can do it…”

He muttered to himself. Why is this so difficult.

Even while he was undressing him, Yoongeon was constantly sweating. But Seohwi’s situation was no different. Sweat trickled down his temples from tension and shock. Finally, after taking off his pants as well, he debated whether he should lay him on the bed like this, then headed to the bathroom. It was because Yoongeon’s body was trembling intermittently, and he thought he needed to help him relax. He filled the bathtub with water while holding Yoongeon.

Even until the water was all filled, Seohwi held Yoongeon. He did so because he could not calm down unless he heard his heartbeat, unless he heard the sound of his breathing. Once the bathtub was full, Seohwi set him down and began to carefully wash him.

“……”

There were more scars on Yoongeon’s limply held body than he had expected, so Seohwi was careful as he washed him. There were very faint bruises on his shoulders and sides, and the crooks of his arms, which he had been shocked to see, were, as he well knew, a mess. He looked at the traces, for which he had never received an answer even when he asked why he was hurt, or why he was self-harming, then turned his head away, biting his lip.

Seohwi, finishing quickly before the water got cold, came out with Yoongeon wrapped up in a large towel. But despite being carefully wrapped, Yoongeon’s long legs were still exposed. Wondering what he would do if he got cold, Seohwi carefully laid him on the bed and wiped away the remaining moisture.

“Haah…”

Seohwi was deeply troubled. He knew it would be bewildering to wake up completely naked, but he just could not bring himself to leave him alone and go to the dressing room. Hadn’t this mess happened in that short moment he had missed him earlier? He felt his heart would not survive if he went through something like that twice.

In the end, he gave up and lay down next to him. It was a relief that he was at least breathing comfortably now. Upon closer inspection, color had returned to his pale complexion. Only then did Seohwi feel at ease, and after a moment’s hesitation, he pulled him into an embrace. Naturally, he could hear his heartbeat.

“……”

Why, all of a sudden? The question would not leave his mind. He still could not understand why Yoongeon had become like this. Why was he so shocked by the question of whether he liked him? Was that a statement shocking enough to warrant such a reaction?

It was not a big deal. He was just trying to confirm his feelings. Because while he drew a line with him, he kept holding onto him and paid attention to him the whole time. Seohwi was not a fool. He knew well enough about the behaviors of people who were fond of him.

To be honest, he had a slight expectation that Yoongeon would not deny it at this point. So, if he did not deny it, he was planning to get a little closer to him… but he had completely ruined it.

When he wakes up again, will he tell him why he did that?

He pondered, but an answer did not come easily.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Heu, eu… euhk……”

It was when he had closed his weary eyes and fallen into a deep sleep. Seohwi’s eyes suddenly flew open at the sound of sobbing near his ear. He was briefly wondering why he had woken up, but upon hearing the weeping sound again, he quickly turned his head. As expected, Yoongeon was crying.

“Eu…… heu……”

Seohwi shot up from his spot. Seeing Yoongeon crying so sorrowfully, he felt as if the blood was draining from his head. Tears, of which he did not know when they started flowing, were running from his contorted face and tightly shut eyes.

“Executive Director, Executive Director.”

He called out while embracing Yoongeon, but he still could not open his eyes. He did not know what dream he was wandering through, but it seemed to be tormenting Yoongeon greatly. So, he hesitated for a moment before opening his mouth again.

“Yoongeon.”

“……”

But, the moment he called his name, Yoongeon, unbelievably, quietly opened his eyes and looked at Seohwi.

“……”

His eyes were dazed. But even with such eyes, Yoongeon embraced Seohwi. A sudden fear gripped him at the arm that held him limply.

“I am sorry…”

“……”

“Seohwi, I am so sorry…”

What could have been so sorrowful? He wanted to ask but could not. It was because Yoongeon was crying as he willingly held him. And also,

“Eum…”

Because he had kissed him.

As if all he could do was just suck on Seohwi’s lips, Yoongeon clung to him, sucking on his lips. To be honest, it was not even a proper kiss. A kiss from a half-asleep person was more like a whimper than a kiss.

“Haah…”

But in that moment, he could not bear it. Seohwi pulled Yoongeon, who was clinging to him, into an embrace. He kissed him deeply, parting his lips and tangling their tongues. Even though Yoongeon was the one who had clung to him first, the dynamic was reversed in an instant. Yoongeon groaned as if he was running out of breath and turned his head away.

“Look at me.”

“……”

“Look at me, Yoongeon.”

He did not seem to be properly hearing anything he said, but when he called his name, he looked straight at him. Seohwi looked into his eyes. His turbid and empty eyes were confused. His gaze, as if trying to determine whether it was a dream or not, trembled slightly.

“It’s not a dream, so look properly.”

“……”

Seohwi cared for the unstable man. That was an undeniable fact. He wanted Yoongeon to look at him properly. Very desperately, at that.

“Don’t run away, don’t push me away… look at me.”

“Uh…”

Only then did he seem to realize something. Yoongeon’s gaze frantically scanned the surroundings. But it was not for long. The final destination of his gaze was, in the end, Seohwi.

“……”

“……”

For a moment, neither of them said anything.

Even though Seohwi was speaking to him informally as if it were natural, Yoongeon showed no sign of being offended. Tears that had been welling up in Yoongeon’s eyes as he stared blankly at him fell, plop plop.

“What kind of dream was it that made you cry like that.”

“……”

“What made you so sorrowful.”

It was not a question asked to hear an answer. He did not expect one either. Because he knew better than anyone that he never answered important questions.

“……I had a dream about someone I love.”

However, to Seohwi, who had not expected it at all, Yoongeon gave a reply.

“He smiled at me.”

“……”

“That’s all.”

His loved one had smiled at him, and yet Yoongeon said he cried so sorrowfully. Yoongeon spoke calmly with no expression on his face, but tears continuously fell from his eyes. Seeing him still unable to contain his sadness made him inexplicably angry.

“……”

The person he loves…. Seohwi quietly murmured and then licked away the tears gathered in the corner of Yoongeon’s eyes with his tongue.

“Yes…”

Seohwi said, affectionately kissing the corner of his eye.

“I understand.”

“……”

Yoongeon, who had his eyes closed to receive the kiss, did not seem to mind at all that he was speaking informally and being insolent. No, rather, he seemed more comfortable. The way he held his body even tighter proved it.

Seohwi settled himself between his legs. Then, cupping his cheeks, he kissed him again. Yoongeon did not refuse.

“Eumm…”

As their tongues intertwined, a lewd sound was made. Both Seohwi and Yoongeon closed their eyes and began to suck on each other’s. It was difficult to breathe, but neither of them let go of the other. His kiss tasted of tears.

Yoongeon, even while crying, sucked on his tongue more forcefully. Because of that, Seohwi felt as if he were being devoured by him. As Seohwi kissed him with their bodies pressed together, he could feel Yoongeon’s member, which was slowly beginning to take shape, against his stomach.

“Eung…”

Yoongeon spread his legs and moved his hips. Every time his member rubbed against Seohwi’s stomach, he let out a pained moan. Seohwi, while kissing him, grabbed his thing and stroked it.

“Eut, eu, heut.”

As if unable to bear the momentary pleasure, Yoongeon pulled his head back. When he panted while wrapping his arms around his neck, Seohwi’s grip also tightened.

“Ah! Haah…. Heu……”

Yoongeon, who had climaxed prematurely not long after getting erect, moaned and whispered.

“Hurry… put it in.”

“But I still haven’t…”

“It’s fine, just hurry.”

He wrapped his arms around Seohwi’s waist as if to urge him on.

“Ah…”

Even though he had not even put it in yet, Yoongeon tilted his head back and let out a moan. The sight was so excessively lewd that Seohwi could only bite his lip. Even though he had not yet prepared him down there, the sight before his eyes was overly erotic.

Yoongeon moved his hips, and each time, his member repeatedly touched his stomach. Wondering if it would be better if he did not look, he squeezed his eyes shut, but it was no use. Seohwi’s own was just as hard, leaking precum.

“Ah, wait a moment.”

He thought he had to at least make a show of preparing him and tried to hold on, but Yoongeon, unable to bear the frustration, bit down on the nape of his neck with his teeth.

“It’s okay if I tear, so just, fuck… just ram it in.”

At that threat, Seohwi’s mind turned completely to mud. An unfamiliar sensation continuously bloomed below, and he could not bring himself to refuse at all.

“Eu, keuk…!”

“Euk…. It’s tight…”

In the end, unable to hold back, he aligned his fully erect member with Yoongeon’s entrance and pushed it in just like that. Both of them scrunched their faces, letting out overwhelmed moans. Yoongeon, because of the pain of being forced open, and Seohwi, because of the inner walls that squeezed him excessively tight.

“Euk, Seohwi, ah, euk… just, heu, just, hard…”

But Yoongeon just urged him to hurry up and thrust. He did not know why he was begging to be hurt. Yoongeon’s moans grew a little louder. Every time he panted, Seohwi wanted to thrust his hips like a dog in heat. Every time he unconsciously bucked his hips, he felt the inside being forcibly stretched open.

The feeling of being buried in something wet and warm was maddeningly good. It was a pleasure so intense, due to the extreme tightness, that it felt like his eyes would literally roll back. At that moment, Yoongeon began to chew on his neck like a dog mouthing him.

“Ah…!”

That, too, felt so good it was insane. Every time Yoongeon chewed on his flesh, red love bites were imprinted on Seohwi’s white skin. Each time he felt the pain, Seohwi’s body trembled as he released a viscous fluid inside Yoongeon.

“Hoo… ah, ah…”

Seohwi squeezed his eyes shut and thrust his hips upward. It was agonizingly tight, but it felt good.

“Ah!”

Because he had forcefully pushed his way in, Yoongeon arched his neck sharply and shivered. Seohwi did not wait for him to calm down and continued to thrust his hips.

“Ah, euk, eut…!”

He felt like he was going insane. He felt like he would lose his mind. Grabbing Yoongeon’s hips and pulling him close, Seohwi moved as if possessed. As if to match his movements, Yoongeon arched his back sharply.

“Haah, eu, heu…!”

Yoongeon was still crying. Seeing him cry even while panting in pleasure made Seohwi feel inexplicably cross. It seemed that even now, while he was mixing bodies with me like this, the lingering feelings from the dream about his loved one had not faded.

He wanted to ask who it was. But Seohwi decided not to ask. For some reason, even while thinking it was absurd, that person was surely….

“Ah, aah…!”

Heat rose to Yoongeon’s face. His flushed face was thoroughly soaked in pleasure. Seohwi panted and moved his hips. Every time he thrusted, every point of contact felt so good that he could not keep his senses straight. Below, they were already a mess with the fluids they had both shed. Only the squelching sound filled the space between them.

“More, Seohwi, harder. Ha, haah, euk!”

He did as he pleaded. Every time he parted his entrance and pounded into him, Yoongeon could not overcome the pleasure and trembled. Yoongeon, who was panting that it felt good, so good he could die, suddenly grabbed his neck and climbed on top.

“Euk…!”

“Haah… Seohwi, eut….”

His neck was choked in an instant. As his two hands tightened, Seohwi felt an uncontrollable pleasure surging from below and arched his neck sharply.

“Ah!”

Yoongeon moved his hips. With Seohwi’s, his thing, inside him, he moved only his hips and panted. Seohwi, who had already started to cum the moment his neck was choked, gushed out semen with a surge every time his member was rubbed inside him.

“Haak… ha, ah, aah…!”

Slipping on the semen, Seohwi’s thing relentlessly stabbed Yoongeon’s inner walls, and he too soon reached his climax. It was when Yoongeon, unable to regain his senses, tightened his grip on his neck again.

“……!”

Something different from the semen he had been spewing until now began to pour out.

“Keok… kkeu…”

Seohwi, flustered because he did not know what on earth he was spilling, tried to forcibly pull away the hand on his neck. Yoongeon willingly let go, but he was still looking down at him and moving his hips.

“Wait, keuk… ah, wa, wait, wait.”

“Why.”

“Ah, Executive Director, …stop, stop.”

Every time he moved his hips, Seohwi came something. He panted and said it felt strange, but Yoongeon just looked down at him and said this.

“…You’re using polite speech again.”

“Ha, euk, it’s strange. Strange…”

“Was it a tantrum?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry so please stop…”

Seohwi, thinking that he was being punished for speaking informally without permission, could not hold on any longer and covered his face with both hands, begging. He could not see because his eyes were covered, but Yoongeon, who was watching him, for a very brief moment, raised the corners of his mouth slightly and looked at Seohwi. With gentle eyes that were rarely seen from him.

“Alright, I get it. Euk…”

While saying he got it, Yoongeon did not stop moving his hips. When he lowered his hands and looked, Yoongeon’s member had regained its strength and was standing erect again. It seemed he had no intention of backing down like this. As Seohwi sat up, Yoongeon naturally wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed their bodies close.

“Heut, euk…. It’s good.”

“Haah… Executive Director, ah…”

From where they were joined below, the sound of flesh slapping continuously echoed. Seohwi grabbed his hips and thrust hard. Every time he moved, liquid gushed out from Seohwi’s thing, and by this point, he could tell. It had not been a mistake.

“Ah, aah, euk!”

Was it because they were both extremely aroused? Yoongeon climaxed again after just a few thrusts. Because he squeezed him tightly below, Seohwi also bit his lip and shivered, drenched in pleasure.

“Haah, haah…”

“Now… please pull out now…”

Seohwi begged him to please pull out. Yoongeon casually tapped his face with the back of his hand.

“Why.”

“……”

“Afraid you made a mistake?”

“…If you know, just get up.”

At the words that seemed to mock him, Seohwi felt needlessly embarrassed and bit his lip hard. Only then did Yoongeon pull his thing, which had been embedded inside, out.

“Ah…”

As soon as he pulled it out, the things he had shot inside gushed out. Seohwi was so embarrassed that he covered his face with both hands, and Yoongeon, with a furrowed brow, let out a small sigh and then leaned back against the headboard.

“……”

This is so embarrassing I could die…. While Seohwi was lying with his back turned in embarrassment, he heard a rustling sound. As he stayed still, the familiar smell of cigarettes soon followed.

“You’re still the same.”

“……”

Wondering what he meant, he turned his back. Yoongeon was smoking a cigarette and looking out the window.

“That’s why I hate it.”

“…What do you mean?”

At the question, Yoongeon took a drag from the cigarette, his cheeks hollowing. He could not see his expression because he did not look back at him.

“You grab people and shake them around.”

At those words, Seohwi sat up. But Yoongeon still did not look at him.

“Why do you keep walking into the mire. When you know full well it’s the wrong path.”

“I’ve never thought of it that way.”

“It’s the wrong path.”

Yoongeon answered firmly.

“Because it was a path that didn’t originally exist.”

He did not know exactly why he was saying this, but he could roughly guess. Wasn’t he the one who had been drawing a line all along, telling him not to come closer. And yet, I didn’t back down and instead crossed the line, so he must be acting like this. So, Seohwi hugged him.

“Yes. The answer is enough.”

“……”

The words Yoongeon had given him were an answer.

An answer to the question of whether he liked him.

Yoongeon had not refused. He thought it was a relief. It was a difficult answer, but Seohwi understood, and that was enough for him.