DPGR 111

“Why… why are you lying to me?”

“……”

“You’ve been taking guiding pills without telling me?”

“……”

“Why won’t you let me guide you?”

“Guide Jiho. I…”

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. He hesitated.

Again and again.

But in the end, it was just that same suffocating silence.

By now, Jiho’s eyes had dried up. Strangely, not even tears would come.

His heart had gone cold, and so his words came out cold as well.

“I guess you don’t want to talk to me. Or is it that you just don’t want my guiding?”

“…That’s not it. I just…”

“Oh. Maybe you just don’t like me anymore.”

“Guide Jiho.”

“I’ve done my best to be useful.”

After escaping the nightmare, in the middle of all that chaos and confusion, he had tried his hardest not to be a burden.

He’d always been a step slower than everyone else, but within his limits, he gave it his all.

Jiho had always run toward Baek Dojin, reached out, and touched him.

At least, that’s what he thought.

“Even when this happened.”

Jiho pointed to his own chest, where he had once been wounded. Now it was fully healed, not even a scar remained.

“I knew that if I died, there would be no one left to guide you. So I tried to fill you with guiding, even just a little, before I died…”

He hadn’t meant to bring it up to brag.

He just wanted Dojin to understand. To acknowledge his effort. To recognize how he felt.

But Jiho’s words faded away before they could end.

It was because of Dojin’s expression.

He was looking at Jiho with a face twisted in pain, as if on the verge of exploding.

“You were planning to die… and just leave me behind?”

“Hy–Hyung…?”

“Back then, do you have any idea how much I…!”

“……!”

Dojin’s eyes turned red in an instant. His adam apple bobbed repeatedly, swollen with emotion.

Jiho stared, wide-eyed in shock.

Of course he was shocked, Dojin had never shown his emotions like this before.

“Back then, Guide Jiho, you shouldn’t have guided me.”

“…I just…”

“You shouldn’t have done it, even for my sake.”

For his sake?

Jiho tried to understand what that meant.

He had done it for Dojin’s sake. Shouldn’t that have been something to be praised?

But the next words from Dojin helped him understand.

“Imagine it had been me dying in front of you. And in that moment, I pushed myself too far, recklessly burning my power to try and save you.”

“…I didn’t do anything that reckless.”

“You could’ve died. No—you were ready to die.”

“But I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you lived. Because I saved you. I ran while holding you, your body going cold in my arms. Damn it, my head was a mess, instincts screaming at me, and still I…”

“……”

“I was searching for someone who could heal you, desperate and full of regret. Do you know how many thoughts ran through my head?”

“……”

“Even while you were dying, my esper body was reacting to your faint guiding. Do you know how miserable that made me feel? You’ll never understand.”

“I…”

Jiho couldn’t say anything.

Dojin’s expression was just… too full of pain. It silenced him.

And Jiho could tell, Dojin was still stuck back in that dungeon.

He hadn’t escaped from that day.

“Even now, when I close my eyes, I see it again. You, barely breathing, and that guiding flowing from you.

And then my body, reacting to it… and the whispering instincts in my head, telling me to take as much guiding as I could before you died.”

A single tear finally fell from Dojin’s eye.

It was a side of Dojin Jiho had never once imagined.

Seeing his twisted expression, and the tear rolling down his cheek, Jiho realized just how wrong he had been.

Now the regret belonged to him.

He fumbled, struggling to apologize.

“I… I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m sorry…”

“……”

“I’m your guide… I just wanted to help you, and guiding was the only way I knew how…”

His voice gradually shrank.

His shoulders hunched, and he lowered his head completely.

His blurred vision wavered over his own feet.

He had thought his eyes were dry, but now the tears were threatening to fall.

‘No… I can’t. What right do I have to cry?’

The one who probably wanted to cry right now… was Dojin.

Besides, if Jiho showed tears now, Dojin would once again bury his own emotions to comfort him.

Jiho didn’t want to smooth things over with tears.

He bit the soft flesh inside his mouth, trying to suppress the emotions welling up from the pain.

Above his head, Dojin’s voice rang out.

“Why do you think guiding is the only way you can help me?”

“…What?”

“Do you still think your only value lies in guiding?”

His tears vanished at once—not because he was comforted, but because he couldn’t understand what Dojin meant.

No, he couldn’t understand why Dojin would ask something so obvious.

“Isn’t that true? I’m an S-rank guide.”

“……”

“I was practically born for guiding.”

He had been told that so many times. He himself believed it.

Even his birth parents had abandoned him as an infant. From the moment he was born, he had been useless.

So the fact that he at least had the ability to guide—that was a blessing.

Especially his unique ability to alter wavelengths—it felt like a divine gift.

“You’ve still been thinking that way all this time?”

What was wrong with that?

Jiho looked up slightly. Dojin had stopped crying, and now his expression was hard.

“Hyung…?”

Had he made a mistake again?

He thought he understood Dojin better than anyone, but maybe… he didn’t understand him at all.

As Jiho stood frozen, Dojin let out a sigh and asked a question.

“Then… what were you planning to do after the final dungeon?”

“…Huh?”

“Once we clear the final dungeon, all our abilities will disappear. Both of us will go back to being normal people. What were you planning to do then?”

“Uh… I… I never really thought about it.”

His voice trembled with confusion. He really hadn’t thought that far ahead.

‘A normal person… yeah, I’d be a normal person then.’

He wouldn’t be a guide anymore. Dojin wouldn’t be an esper, either. He wouldn’t need a guide anymore.

Then what would he be?

‘…This time, he might really leave me.’

His stomach churned. Seeing Jiho go pale, Dojin spoke up.

“Are you thinking about usefulness again? About guiding again?”

“……”

Step—

Dojin started walking. He approached Jiho.

“Do you think I keep you by my side because of guiding?”

“…Don’t you?”

Jiho’s eyes went wide. Dojin, now standing in front of him, gave a bitter laugh.

“Hah…”

He smiled crookedly, just one side of his mouth lifting. Jiho realized it was self-mockery.

“All this time, when I was dying to touch you, kiss you, throwing away my own conscience to sleep with you…You thought it was just because of guiding?”

He rubbed at the corner of his eye with a fingertip. He looked completely exhausted.

Jiho parted his lips, then shut them again. He didn’t know what to say.

It was Dojin who broke the silence.

His face remained tight with frustration and shame as he spoke.

“I like you.”

“…What?”

Jiho’s eyes widened in shock.

He had never even considered the possibility. His body froze.

As if expecting that reaction, Dojin gave another bitter smile and continued.

“I thought I’d been showing it all this time. Maybe I should’ve just said it from the start.”

“What are you…?”

“Even when we’re far apart, I watch you. I think about you constantly. I want to hold your hand, hold you in my arms. All of it—because I like you.”

Jiho’s face flushed red. His heart thudded, this time for a completely different reason.

It felt like his ears were ringing. His eyes wandered helplessly, eventually dropping to the floor.

Even as Jiho fumbled, Dojin kept murmuring.

“Guiding… that was never the point. I refused your guiding because I could see it—how obsessed you were with it.”

“I, I just…”

“It’s the same this time too. The reason I took those pills…I couldn’t bear to receive your guiding. That terrible memory of almost losing you…And the fact that my body would still react with pleasure made me feel disgusting.”

It was all because of that love.

That damned thing Dojin once scoffed at when he saw other pairs so hopelessly in love.

Now he was the one hopelessly in it.

After saying all that, he felt drained.

And Jiho, standing before him with his head down as if he had committed some terrible sin, only made it worse.

The way his ears and neck had gone red—clearly flustered by the confession—seemed to prove it.

Dojin could only laugh at himself, the one who had caused this mess.