DPGR 165

At first, he had thought it would be simple. He believed that since he had entered the dungeon with the artifact, the god would naturally reach out to him.

But nothing happened in the first dungeon he entered while holding the artifact.

Even when he called out to the god silently in his mind, or aloud with his voice, there was no response.

‘That’s strange…’

Still, it was only the first try. At that point, he was more confused than afraid.

But when nothing happened in the second, third, even sixth dungeon, anxiety began to take root in Jiho’s heart.

‘What is this? How… am I supposed to get back?’

That was when Jiho finally realized. Coming here, and going back, had always relied entirely on the god’s power.

The god could contact Jiho or summon him, but there was no way for Jiho to initiate contact or send a signal to the god.

The moment he understood this, a cold sweat ran down his back.

‘This is bad… really bad…!’

What if he couldn’t go back? Would he have to live here permanently? What would happen to Dojin-hyung in the third life? Time was said to flow differently between here and there.

Jiho looked at a calendar. It had been six months since he crossed over to the first life.

‘It’s already been that long…’

Six months here could mean several years had already passed in the third round.

Tension wrapped around Jiho like a net. Not knowing any of this, Baek Dojin frowned as he looked at Jiho’s pale face with concern.

“Guide Jiho? You don’t look well. Are you sick?”

“Ah, no. That’s not it…”

“Then… is something troubling you?”

Jiho’s eyes wavered. No, it felt like his whole heart was shaking.

He had told the truth to Kwak Jiheon once and found a solution. So part of him wanted to do the same with Baek Dojin and be comforted.

But Jiho shook his head.

Kwak Jiheon had acted just like the one he knew from the third life, so he could confide in him. But this Baek Dojin was nothing like that Dojin-hyung.

He had no idea how this one would react if he told him the truth.

“There’s… nothing wrong…”

“Hmm.”

Baek Dojin gave him a doubtful look, but Jiho kept his mouth shut.

In the end, Baek Dojin didn’t push further. He simply watched Jiho’s actions and expressions carefully, cautiously.

Even after entering the sixth and seventh dungeons, Jiho came out empty-handed. As time passed, Jiho visibly withered away.

At first, Baek Dojin assumed it was just a matter of physical condition. But when Jiho’s health visibly began to suffer, he could no longer sit by and watch.

As a last resort, Baek Dojin took time off.

Because Jiho only seemed more dejected each time he came back from a dungeon, Baek Dojin assumed the cause of his depression was the constant dungeon runs.

“You won’t have to go into any dungeons for the next ten days.”

“…What?”

“I took a break. So for ten days, let’s just relax, do what you want, eat good food.”

Baek Dojin sounded confident. He believed Jiho would be overjoyed and shower him with praise.

But Jiho was so shocked he nearly collapsed.

Time was of the essence. He should be entering more dungeons, not fewer. And he took a vacation?

‘He’s not going to enter any dungeons for ten whole days?’

What washed over Jiho now was not anxiety, but despair. Ten days here could mean ten years over there.

When Jiho staggered in shock, Baek Dojin hurried to support him.

“Guide Jiho? Are you alright?”

Completely unaware, Baek Dojin made things worse.

“You must have pushed yourself too hard lately. I’m glad I requested the time off. We can postpone the fun and head to the hospital first.”

“…”

“Come on. If necessary, we can even have you admitted. You need proper rest and treatment.”

He picked Jiho up in his arms. In that warm hold, Jiho curled his hands into fists.

He appreciated Baek Dojin’s kindness, but the timing and approach couldn’t have been worse. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth. Jiho clenched his teeth, swallowing his tears.

Later, at the center’s hospital, he was diagnosed with stress-induced gastritis, digestive issues, and depression accompanied by fatigue.

***

“How are you feeling now? Any better?”

“…”

“Not really?”

That night, after their hospital visit, Baek Dojin refused to let Jiho return to his own room and brought him into his.

Then, he spread out a blanket and rolled Jiho up in it like a sushi roll, claiming he’d read it online.

Caught off guard, Jiho blinked in confusion as he found himself tightly wrapped and snug in Baek Dojin’s arms.

Baek Dojin soothed and patted the gloomy sushi roll, popping sweet desserts into his mouth.

“Strange… they said this was supposed to work.”

When Jiho still didn’t seem cheered up, Baek Dojin tilted his head in confusion and began scrolling through his phone again.

None of the methods he found or came up with worked, but Jiho could at least appreciate the effort. He sighed, still buried under the thick blanket.

‘What are you even doing, Seo Jiho…’

Looking back, it was no different from taking out his frustration on this clueless first-life Baek Dojin.

He had deliberately let his mood show, acted gloomy enough to make the other worry, and that was on him.

Baek Dojin had asked more than once what was wrong. He’d said Jiho could tell him anything, that he’d help however he could.

But every time, Jiho had only shaken his head, keeping his mouth shut. Then he turned around and acted sullen enough to make the other man uncomfortable.

‘This is the worst…’

He couldn’t even trust him, and yet he took it out on him like a brat. Now that he realized it, guilt and embarrassment swept in.

‘My emotions are mine to manage. I should’ve dealt with them myself.’

Jiho looked up at Baek Dojin, who was still rocking him gently in the blanket. Sensing his gaze, Baek Dojin smiled and raised his eyebrows slightly.

For a brief moment, Jiho saw the Dojin from the third round overlapping with the one in front of him. He figured maybe there was no point in drawing a line between the two anymore. That thought helped ease something inside him.

“…Could you… hold me tighter?”

“Huh? Tighter?”

“Yes. Really tight.”

For the first time in a while, Jiho opened his mouth and made a request. Baek Dojin’s face lit up.

He hugged Jiho with enough strength to take the breath from his lungs. Jiho’s cheek naturally pressed against his chest.

With dry eyes slowly blinking shut, Jiho listened to the quiet, steady thump of Baek Dojin’s heart.

As they stayed like that, the anxiety, fear, and irritability that had been swallowing him began to calm.

‘That’s right. Even if I panic, I still don’t have a solution.’

Eight months had passed since he came here. That could be eight years over there, or maybe only eight days.

Jiho decided to finally let go of what he couldn’t control.

‘And maybe the god hasn’t contacted me because not much time has passed yet over there… And even if it’s been years or decades, what am I supposed to do?’

If decades had passed by the time he returned, it would surely be shocking. But as long as Dojin wasn’t dead, it would be okay.

Even if they were both decades older, Jiho knew he would still love him.

‘So it’s fine. I’ll just do what I can from here.’

Don’t fall into despair. Move forward. For now, just keep doing what’s possible, and wait for the right moment.

Jiho made peace with himself, he let out a long yawn. Dojin, like a parent soothing a child to sleep, gently rocked him and patted his back.

Resting against Baek Dojin’s chest, Jiho fell asleep with a peaceful smile on his lips for the first time in months.

***

After that day, Jiho changed his attitude. He no longer looked drained, nor was he sulking all the time.

“Hyung, I want to train physically.”

“Physical training?”

“Yes. And firearms practice too. I’d like you to oversee it directly.”

Baek Dojin didn’t know what had sparked the change, but Jiho was clearly trying to shake off his depression and move forward.

Though caught slightly off guard, Dojin welcomed the shift.

“Of course. Moving your body will definitely help boost your energy.”

“Yes. Also… I want meat. The snacks you gave me were too sweet.”

“Ah… Sorry about that.”

“No, no! They were good too. I mean… thank you. For thinking of me…”

His shy smile melted the stiffness off Dojin’s face. From then on, Dojin felt relieved to see Jiho asking him for things so openly.

‘Guess that blanket roll really worked after all.’

Of course, he had no idea about Jiho’s internal growth and completely misunderstood the cause.

‘I’ll have to do that again sometime.’

Still, it was a good thing. For both Jiho and Dojin, it had been a long time since their hearts felt so light.