DPGR 167

Jiho’s dilemma dragged on for quite some time. He knew he had to go, but the feelings built up over four years couldn’t be so easily discarded.

He was worried about Baek Dojin. After all, this point in time could be seen as the past of the third life Dojin.

‘Come to think of it… after remembering the first round, hyung kept having nightmares.’

Could it be that when Jiho returned to the third life and his body suddenly died, it had shocked Dojin deeply?

Countless concerns filled his mind. The stress mounted, but he couldn’t let it show, for fear Baek Dojin might worry or catch on to something strange.

While struggling alone, unable to speak up, Jiho suddenly recalled a forgotten memory.

A hint that could finally end his agony appeared to him in a dream.

***

In the dream, Jiho stood before the Dojin of the third life. Moonlight poured down on them, and the still surface of the lake glittered like stars, reflecting the sky above.

Dojin smiled sadly. With his long legs, he strode close to Jiho and reached out a hand.

‘Jiho… my Guide.’

His voice trembled as if he was holding back tears. Jiho looked around, unsure what was going on. Dojin whispered, almost like a plea.

‘Let’s meet again. Jiho, please come find me. I can wait patiently for as many years as it takes…’

Jiho tilted his head in confusion. Dojin’s voice drifted again, like the wind brushing past his ears.

‘I’ll be alright. Even if I’m left alone, I’ll manage. So don’t hold on for no reason… don’t pity me. Just come back to me.’

He had heard those words in the third life. At the time, they hadn’t made much sense.

But remembering them now, he realized Dojin had guessed what was going to happen.

Dojin had known that the Jiho from the first life was the same person as the one standing before him.

He must have also anticipated the emotional struggles his kind Guide would face while lingering in the first life.

As Jiho came to this realization, their lips touched in the dream. The sweetness of the kiss nearly brought him to tears.

***

“….”

Jiho slowly opened his eyes. He didn’t know when he’d started crying, but both his eyelids and pillowcase were damp.

Forgotten memories surfaced in his mind.

‘Do you remember what I said by the lake?’

‘Huh?’

‘I’ll be alright. Let’s make sure we meet again.’

Jiho sniffled softly. Had Dojin known he would be tormented by a decision like this?

‘…Let’s go back.’

At last, the inner turmoil came to an end.

Just before dawn, Jiho sat up from bed and switched on the light. He trudged to his desk and pulled out a pen and paper.

He felt it would be right to leave behind at least a letter for the Baek Dojin who would remain here.

On the blank page, Jiho pressed down carefully, writing out his affection for Baek Dojin, his worries, and his hopes for the man’s happiness. At the end, he included a farewell and a small wish.

“Phew…”

He set the pen down after adding the final period and took a deep breath. His heart felt calm now.

‘I’ll go back as soon as I can.’

He had been foolish. He had forgotten that his Dojin-hyung was still waiting for him in the other timeline. His heart pounded in his chest.

When he checked the calendar, the nearest dungeon raid was two days away. Jiho bit down on his lip and committed the date to memory.

***

Two days later, the day of reckoning arrived. It was a large-scale A-rank dungeon.

“It’s cold, so make sure to bundle up, and please be extra careful. Understood?”

“Yes.”

The dungeon had been confirmed as an arctic zone. Dojin knew how badly Jiho handled the cold, and had prepared thoroughly in advance.

Jiho wore the clothes, jumper, and boots Dojin had picked out for him. In the pocket of his thick jacket, he had tucked away the letter he had written that night before.

Unaware of this, Baek Dojin fussed over Jiho in his usual way, standing at the edge of the safe zone.

When other Espers called for departure, he hesitated to leave.

“I’ll be right back. Stay within the safe zone no matter what, okay? It could be dangerous out here.”

“Yes.”

Jiho nodded, then reached out with both arms and pulled Baek Dojin into a hug. Rising onto his toes, he pressed a kiss to Dojin’s lips.

He had never done something like this before, but thinking it might be the last time, his body moved on its own. Baek Dojin stiffened for a second, then responded by deepening the kiss.

“We really have to go now!”

Other Espers nearby called out, chuckling as they hurried him along. Baek Dojin reluctantly pulled away and clicked his tongue.

“Be careful out there.”

“I will. I’ll be back soon.”

“Mm. Stay healthy.”

That was their final exchange. Baek Dojin gently ruffled Jiho’s hair before turning away.

Jiho stood in place, watching Dojin’s retreating figure for as long as he could.

When the snowstorm finally blurred his view, Jiho placed a hand over the letter in his pocket.

‘It’s time to go back.’

Jiho silently stepped out of the safe zone.

He didn’t want to call out to the god in front of others, and he didn’t want to leave behind a corpse that would shock Baek Dojin when he returned. So he had decided to leave quietly, alone.

The moment he stepped outside the safe zone, a harsh wind sliced across his body. His pale cheeks turned red in an instant.

Crunch, crunch

He needed to get far away. The farther from the safe zone, the better. If his empty shell was eaten by monsters, that would be ideal.

‘Ah. Right. The letter.’

Jiho stopped in his tracks as he walked through the snowfield. He took the letter out of his pocket and hesitated.

‘If I just leave it like this, it might get buried in the snow. Or the wind could blow it away…’

He briefly considered going back to entrust it to someone else, but shook his head. He didn’t want anyone else reading that letter before Baek Dojin did.

‘It’s cold, but… it can’t be helped. I’m going back anyway.’

Jiho took the artifact from his jacket and held it tightly in his hand. Then he took off his outerwear and laid it down on the snow.

He waited to see whether the jacket would be blown away, but just as he was about to resume walking, something happened.

A low growl broke through the howling wind. Jiho flinched and turned around.

Not far off, a pair of glowing ashen eyes met his. Jiho’s face went pale. He immediately turned and fled.

“Ah, ha…”

Not yet. He couldn’t leave behind any trace of blood. But despite how desperate he was, his weak body couldn’t move quickly through the deep snow that reached his knees.

“Ah!”

He lost his balance and fell forward, one boot slipping off in the process. The monster was slowly approaching, as if herding him.

It was lucky. This species didn’t devour its prey immediately but preferred to toy with it first.

Jiho staggered to his feet and backed away while keeping his eyes on the monster.

Once he judged that he had moved far enough from the jacket, he stopped.

“I know you’re watching. I want to go back now.”

Kraaaagh!

As if his whisper had been the signal, the monster let out a roar and lunged. Jiho stood frozen, eyes tightly shut.

At that moment, a familiar voice familiar and divine, echoed into his mind.

‘I see. Then we should go quickly.’

The monster’s teeth clamped down on Jiho’s nape. At the same time, Jiho felt as though he were being sucked somewhere, and he lost consciousness.

***

Beep— beep— beep

The steady beeping of the heart monitor brought Jiho back to consciousness. He realized he had returned as soon as he heard it.

His body was too weak to move right away after lying unconscious for so long. Even after waking up, it took him a long time before he could slowly wiggle his fingers and open his eyes.

“Ah…”

A blurry, familiar ceiling came into view. It was the ceiling of Dojin’s hospital room.

He had stared up at that ceiling so many times, swallowing down tears that threatened to fall. The sight, impossible to forget, brought peace to his heart.

“Huh, huuh, hic…”

Lying still, Jiho trembled as he burst into tears. He had come back.

He forced his stiff neck to turn and looked beside him. There, looking younger and thinner than he remembered, was Dojin.

His eyes were still closed, but that was okay. When Jiho squeezed his hand, he could feel the necklace he had never let go of.

‘I can save him now.’

Jiho’s tear-filled eyes gleamed with resolve. He wrapped his arms tightly around Dojin.

At last, his soaked whisper brushed Dojin’s ear.

“I’m back…”

At that moment, the jewel in the artifact began to vibrate.

Just as Jiho’s lips touched Dojin’s cheek like a drifting feather, a bright light engulfed the artifact.

Crack

It shattered into pieces with a faint sound.

Jiho sniffled as he straightened his hunched body.

Beep— beep— beep

The once slow and steady rhythm of the monitor began to change. The dull pattern broke and gradually quickened.

Thump, thump, thump.

Close beside him, Jiho thought he could hear Dojin’s heartbeat.

The eyelids that had remained shut and unmoving until now began to tremble faintly.

At last, the moment he had been waiting for arrived.

“…Hyung.”

Those light eyelids slowly lifted, revealing deep black eyes underneath. They focused on Jiho.

For a moment, those eyes stared as if trying to make sense of what they saw. Then, they curved into a soft smile.

That gentle smile held profound affection.

“Hic…”

Unable to hold it in, Jiho burst into tears like a child and threw his arms around Dojin’s neck.

He sobbed, saying he had missed him, asked why he had taken so long to wake up, and thanked him for staying alive.

All his love, resentment, and gratitude spilled out in a torrent of tears.

Dojin, piecing things together from Jiho’s tearful rambling and the shattered artifact lying on his chest, slowly lifted a trembling arm to pat Jiho’s back.

He brought his lips to Jiho’s damp cheek and whispered.

“…We met again… my Guide…”

“Huh, hic!”

His voice was hoarse, his vocal cords worn out from disuse. Yet even in that parched tone, a sea of emotion poured forth.

Dojin rested his forehead against Jiho’s and murmured.

“Jiho-ya…”

“Mm…”

[We’ll meet again. And when we do, please call me by my name, not just ‘Guide Jiho.’]

Dojin kept that promise. Jiho’s name rolled gently from his lips.

Jiho-ya. Jiho-ya… Jiho-ya.

He called his lover’s name over and over until his throat was raw. Jiho nodded again and again in his arms.

Moved and overwhelmed by the way Jiho answered sweetly each time with “Mm” and “Yes,” Dojin hugged him tighter.

The two of them quietly spent time wrapped in each other’s warmth.

Jiho’s winter, which had lingered for so long, finally began to thaw.

At last, spring had arrived.