DTTM 16

Chapter 16: I Can Give You a Piece of My Life

Every social circle has its own information barriers, but these barriers are not impenetrable. They are more like a sieve, preventing excessive information from getting out and preventing insufficient information from getting in.

Zong Yanlei was the illegitimate son of Zong Shen’an and a maid. This was one of those rumors that circulated only within aristocratic circles and couldn’t be spread outside.

However, the same thing only circulating within aristocratic circles was equally disastrous. Adults were alright, after all, they were all well-educated and respectable nobles, and they knew what they should and shouldn’t say. But children were not so sensible.

A child’s world is very simple, without many moral constraints. This leads to them being able to be cruel when they want to, their words like arrows, even more so than a butcher who cuts out hearts and flesh every day. And the more noble the family, the higher the probability that their children will become such human “weapons”—they don’t care whether they hurt others or not, because there are very few people in this world who can make them pay the price.

“Father said you’re a bastard, a bastard covered in rotten flesh.” Wuxi Chen was such a brash and fearless nobleman.

First, his surname “Wuxi” indicated that he came from a prestigious family with a distinguished lineage. Second, he was not a child of a branch family, but the son of the head of the Wuxi family and the prime minister of Penglai, the most direct descendant of the direct line. Finally, according to seniority, Zong Yanlei should call him uncle.

Therefore, even the temperamental and domineering Zong Yanlei had to give way to this unfortunate child who was of noble status and seniority.

In the spring of the year I turned 13, Wuxi Li hosted a poetry and calligraphy salon at her home, inviting ladies from various wealthy families in the city to attend. Some ladies came alone, while others brought their children, so Wuxi Li specially asked Zong Yanlei to help her receive the guests.

Although Zong Yanlei didn’t enjoy socializing, when he got serious, his speech and manners were no less impressive than those of the adults. Even in a short time, he had already drawn praise from many noblewomen.

Once everyone had arrived, the ladies stayed in the reception room, where Wuxi Li entertained them, while the children were left in the care of Zong Yanlei. Wuxi Chen, who was 14 years old at the time, had just returned from abroad with his mother and was among the children.

Perhaps it was his naturally domineering personality, or perhaps it was the praise the ladies gave Zong Yanlei that provoked him. After leaving the reception room and turning a corner, Wuxi Chen began to provoke him frequently, asking Zong Yanlei why he was wrapped in bandages all over his body and why he kept a commoner by his side.

Zong Yanlei didn’t answer any of them, and just kept leading the people to the game room that had been prepared beforehand, once he was out of Wuxi Li’s sight, he couldn’t be bothered to pretend anymore.

His dismissive attitude was intolerable to a proud young man like Wuxi Chen. After a moment of silence, he suddenly dropped a bombshell, exposing the sordid affairs of the Zong family in front of everyone.

“You’re not a member of the Wuxi family,” Wuxi Chen said with a look of disgust, his outstretched index finger almost touching Zong Yanlei’s nose. “No one in our family would have eyes like yours.”

Zong Yanlei took a step back, and under the stares of several pairs of surprised and uncertain eyes, he revealed the first… helpless expression I had seen in the three years since I entered the Zong family.

I gently pressed my palm against his back to stop him from backing away.

“Young Master.”

My voice wasn’t loud, barely louder than a whisper, but Zong Yanlei still heard it. He snapped back to reality and slowly pushed Wuxi Chen’s hand away with his arm.

“Uncle, it’s very impolite to point at people with your finger. Besides, I’m certainly not from the Wuxi family, my surname is ‘Zong’.” After saying that, he turned around and continued walking forward.

Some children hesitated but followed Zong Yanlei, while most stayed behind, remaining with Wuxi Chen. In just a few words, the children spontaneously divided into two distinct factions.

“I heard your father is a polo master. Do you dare to play polo with me?” After walking a distance, Wuxi Chen’s shout came from behind again.

It was astonishing that he would think of having someone with a serious illness, unable to engage in any strenuous exercise, compete with him in polo.

Although the Zong family owned a horse ranch, it had always been Zong Shen’an who used it. In the three years I’d been with the Zong family, I’d never seen Zong Yanlei ride a horse.

“Whoever loses has to admit they’re a useless piece of trash. How about that? Are you scared?” Seeing that Zong Yanlei ignored him, Wuxi Chen’s provocation became even more intense. “That’s right, you’re a piece of trash, a piece of trash who doesn’t even know if you’ll live to adulthood.”

Zong Yanlei slowed his pace as he was repeatedly called “trash,” and finally stopped. I subconsciously looked at his hands and saw that his bandaged hands were trembling slightly, not as indifferent as he appeared.

A good servant should think what his master thinks and worry about what his master worries about. So after a moment’s thought, I turned around and faced Wuxi Chen directly.

“Young Master Wuxi, let me do it.”

Wuxi Chen raised an eyebrow and sneered, “You? What can you possibly do?”

I laughed too: “You’ve seen my young master’s physical condition. Even if you win a polo match against him, people might say you won unfairly. But it’s different for me. I’m just a commoner. It’s only natural for you to beat me. It’s an easy thing.”

“And then what? You’ll admit you’re a useless piece of trash? Do I need your admission? Do you take me for a fool?

That was indeed my plan, but I didn’t expect him to see through it.

Tsk, I thought he was an idiot.

“How could that be, you…”

“If you can beat him, I’ll admit I’m a piece of trash, but if you lose, you’ll also have to admit you’re a piece of trash.” He suddenly pushed me aside. Zong Yanlei had actually agreed to this absurd bet.

“Great, no problem! I’ll have someone bring my horse over right away!” Wuxi Chen rubbed his hands together, eager to try.

“Not today.” Zong Yanlei walked up to him, and the two looked at each other. “A month from now, see you at the Velvet Equestrian Club, how about it?”

Upon hearing that it would take a month, Wuxi Chen was not happy: “Why a month?”

Zong Yanlei paused for a moment, then said, “Because my servant… doesn’t know how to ride a horse.”

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Wuxi Chen didn’t go to the game room; he left halfway through after making the bet. Zong Yanlei was busy until night, and only rested after seeing all the ladies off with Li.

The three heads of the Zong family each have their own living space in the house. These living spaces were extremely spacious, including not only bedrooms, bathrooms, living rooms, and dressing rooms, but also spaces that can be added or modified according to individual needs. For example, Zong Shen’an has a hot spring sauna, Wuxi Li has a painting studio, and Zong Yanlei has a medicine preparation room.

The medicine preparation room, as the name suggested, was used to prepare medications. Every morning and evening, Zong Yanlei needed to take a large number of medications, some in capsules, some in tablets, some to be chewed, and some to be dissolved in water. Every so often, depending on the doctor’s examination, the dosage and type of medication might change, and the order in which they were taken was also important and couldn’t be taken lightly.

In addition, perhaps due to his illness, Zong Yanlei was also very afraid of bitter tastes. Every time he took medicine, a cup of honey water must be prepared next to him to help him take the medicine.

“Young Master.” Having prepared the medicine for tonight, I carried the tray to Zong Yanlei and bowed slightly.

He was leaning back on the sofa, pretending to doze off, but when he heard my voice, he slowly raised his eyes, but did not take the medicine.

“Do you know who you talked back to this afternoon?” He stared at me for a long time before asking.

I used the tray as cover to secretly observe his expression, and apart from fatigue, I didn’t see any anger.

“It’s your uncle, young master.”

“It seems I’ve been too lenient with you, which has emboldened you. Do you even know you’re just a lowly commoner? Killing you is easier for him than killing a bug.”

I lowered my eyes and, as always, quickly admitted my mistake: “I was wrong.”

Zong Yanlei snorted coldly and slowly said, “Who said you’re wrong?”

Um?

Faced with this unusual answer, I looked up abruptly. Zong Yanlei didn’t look at me, but took the medicine on the tray one by one, drank the honey water, and put the cup back on the tray.

“Starting tomorrow, you’ll have two extra horseback riding lessons every afternoon. If you can’t beat that idiot Wuxi Chen in a month…” He lifted his eyelids slightly, his gaze sweeping over my face before finally settling on my lips, “I’ll cut off your troublesome tongue.”

He was just saying I was right, and now he wanted to cut my tongue out…

“Yes, Young Master.” With a slight smile, I bowed down even further.

For the next month, I spent every afternoon on horseback. Learning to ride a horse in a short time wasn’t difficult; the challenge was learning to control a ball on horseback.

During the first week, I was in pain all over my body, sometimes so much so that I couldn’t sleep. In the second week, my muscles started to adapt and the pain gradually lessened. In the third week, my movements became easier and easier, and I was able to carry the ball skillfully on horseback. By the fourth week, I could not only carry the ball, but also snatch it directly from the riding instructor.

Finally, a month passed, and the day to face Wuxi Chen arrived.

The day was sunny and breezy, with warm but not glaring sunlight, it was a beautiful day.

Wuxi Chen rode a glossy black horse, while I rode the horse that had been training with me for a whole month, a two-year-old male horse named “Sesame” with white fur and black spots.

A one-on-one polo match involved no teamwork, only a pure clash of skills.

The entire match was a back-and-forth affair, with the pace of offense and defense almost never stopping. Grass blades were shattered by horses’ hooves, dust stung my eyes, and the white ball flew, collided, and flew again between the two players.

In the third quarter, with 21 minutes remaining, I seized upon a minor mistake by Wuxi Chen and scored again with a precise long shot, fighting until the very last moment to win the game by a narrow margin of 6-5.

When the referee blew the whistle, I was drenched in sweat and so exhausted I could barely hold the reins. Even so, I still used my mallet to juggle the white ball on the grass, held it in my palm, and then gently patted Sesame’s neck, giving the order: “Go find the young master.”

When I was taking equestrian lessons, Zong Yanlei would often be watching from outside the riding arena, so Sesame knew him.

I didn’t rein in the horse, letting the rather spirited pony slowly waddle to the fence. Zong Yanlei was sitting on the other side of the fence, in the first row of the audience.

Sweat dripped down my cheeks. I gripped the horse’s flanks, tightened the reins, leaned my body over the fence, and handed him the little white ball that carried honor, the bet, and my tongue.

“Young master, here you go.”

Upon seeing this, the male servant who was holding an umbrella for Zong Yanlei hurriedly came to help, but Zong Yanlei grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“Step back.” he said softly.

The male servant lowered his shoulders, no longer daring to move.

Seated in the audience were some young masters and ladies who had witnessed the bet between Wuxi Chen and Zong Yanlei and had come specifically to watch the spectacle. Everyone’s gaze unanimously focused on Zong Yanlei, or rather, on the two of us.

This was a salute to the victor. Zong Yanlei’s lips unconsciously curved into a pleased smile as he reached out to take the ball. But just as his fingertips were about to touch the ball, a painful neighing suddenly sounded behind me.

I turned around reflexively, and the ball slipped from my hand and disappeared somewhere.

In the center of the course, Wuxi Chen’s black horse lay on the ground, while Wuxi Chen swung his mallet, repeatedly hitting the horse’s neck and head. The horse was beaten until its head was bleeding profusely, its limbs twitched, and soon it fell silent.

The horse’s blood splattered on Wuxi Chen’s face and body, and in no time, the small patch of green grass was stained red. No one stepped forward to stop it; it was just a horse, Wuxi Chen’s private property, and whether he wanted to beat or kill it, no one else had the right to interfere. Let alone a horse, even if it were a person, if Wuxi Chen wanted to kill, who would dare to say no?

Having vented his anger, the horse also breathed its last. Wuxi Chen threw away the bent and deformed mallet in his hand and walked towards the fence, covered in blood. It was a case of evil spirits appearing in broad daylight.

“I am… a piece of trash!” He walked to the fence, gripped the railing with both hands, and spat out the words with a ferocious expression, “Satisfied now?”

Zong Yanlei’s gaze met his without fear, his eyes, as smooth as river pine stones, slightly narrowed in the sunlight, casting a shadow like shattered ice.

“Yes, you really are a piece of trash.”

Upon hearing this, Wuxi Chen’s anger intensified: “Fine, we’ll see!”

As he turned to leave, he looked at me up and down. If looks could kill, I would probably be riddled with bullets by now.

I stepped into the stirrups, gripped the mallet tightly, and kept my body tense until he was far away before I slowly relaxed.

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It was dusk when we returned to the Zong family home that day, and the sky was a golden hue like lava. The hovercar drove through the gate, followed by the horse transport crate. The two cars didn’t separate until they reached a fork in the road, one heading towards the main residence and the other towards the horse ranch.

“Young master, would you like to ride a horse?”

I noticed Zong Yanlei’s gaze drifting out the car window, glancing intentionally or unintentionally towards the horse ranch. Regardless of his intentions, I decided to ask him. Unexpectedly, I guessed right.

Zong Yanlei suddenly turned around and looked at me, he looked embarrassed at being seen through.

“Who told you I wanted to ride a horse?” He raised his thorns in an instant.

“It’s me. I want to take the young master horseback riding.” I pointed to myself. “Sesame is a very docile pony. I can put more padding on his saddle, and then we can take a short ride in the woods and come back when it gets dark.”

The Zong family’s residence occupied the entire mountaintop, surrounded by endless forests except for the main buildings. Zong Shen’an would sometimes go hunting in the forest with his friends, but they only found some roe deer, foxes, and rabbits; there were no large, ferocious wild animals.

Upon hearing this, Zong Yanlei hesitated, but he ultimately nodded: “I must be back before dark.”

Sesame had just gotten off the crate when he saw me from afar and started wagging his tail as he ran towards me. His saddle was still on, so I had the stable servants bring a thick blanket to wrap the saddle completely, and then carefully helped Zong Yanlei onto it.

Sesame was a medium-sized horse with a shoulder height of 150 centimeters, suitable for teenagers to ride. At that time, although we were only thirteen years old and our bodies had not fully developed, Zong Yanlei was already taller than his peers and mounted the horse very easily.

After he was settled, I stepped into the stirrups and jumped up to sit behind him.

“Why did you come up here too?” Zong Yanlei moved forward uncomfortably, trying to get as far away from me as possible.

“What if the young master falls if I don’t get on?” I put my hand around in front of him, took the reins, and pulled backward. Sesame slowly began to turn around.

“How could it possibly fall when he’s walking so slowly?”

“The horse riding instructor said that horses are very timid and easily startled animals. They will be startled if a leaf falls on their rump or if they step on a vine, so it’s best to be careful.”

Even so, Sesame was actually a stable horse that was not easily startled.

The woods under the setting sun appeared somewhat dim, all the tender greens and emerald greens unified into a deep, dark green, only the patch of sky overhead looked like a spilled palette, bright and vibrant.

I didn’t let Sesame go too deep; I just took Zong Yanlei for a walk in the relatively flat area on the outskirts of the woods.

During this time, a pine branch drooped down in front of Zong Yanlei. Just as I was about to brush it aside for him, he reached out first and plucked a newly grown pine cone from the branch.

This was his first time riding a horse at such a height, and everything in his field of vision felt both familiar and strange. He played with the pine cone, even bringing it to his nose to sniff it gently, as if he had acquired some novel toy.

“Can you climb trees?” Zong Yanlei suddenly asked.

“Yes, I used to climb trees a lot when I was in Zengcheng. I would climb up trees to pick wild fruits, collect bird eggs, and gather pine cones…” Pine nuts are a very good source of fat, and they are nutritious and filling, making them one of the foods that the people of Zengcheng must store before winter. “When you get better, I’ll teach you how to climb trees, okay?”

“Me? Get better?” He held the pine cone, his whole body shaking with laughter. “Great, you can teach me then.”

He didn’t expose my lie, and I was indeed just saying nice things. We tacitly pretended that death and disease didn’t exist, playing the roles of two innocent children, frolicking naively amidst the chaos of the world.

“Do you think the princess might also know about my background?” Zong Yanlei pretended to be nonchalant, but his back muscles were actually tense.

“No, Your Highness won’t mind.”

“She told you?”

“Hmm… If she cared, she wouldn’t have been thinking about marrying you so soon. Don’t you remember? She told you to eat more spinach and take good care of your health. If she cared about those things, how could she be so concerned about you?”

Upon hearing this, Zong Yanlei’s ears quickly turned bright red. I witnessed this spectacle from behind, my heart filled with amazement and a strange, inexplicable thrill, both exciting and pleasurable. After all, he had no idea that the princess’s supposed “reply” was all a fabrication on my part.

As dusk approached and the sun gradually sank below the horizon, our pleasant stroll came to an end. I nudged Sesame’s belly, urging him to head back. He didn’t need prompting; understanding the key words, he went straight towards the stables.

Upon entering the stable, I dismounted first, then brought the ladder for the ladies and young women and placed it beside the horse’s belly before letting Zong Yanlei down.

He scrunched up his nose, looking somewhat disgusted, but still walked down the path properly.

Before leaving the stable, Zong Yanlei gently patted Sesame’s head, even rubbing his forehead against Sesame’s big forehead.

“Thanks.”

Sesame snorted, as if in response to him.

After that, Zong Yanlei was in a very good mood. He ate half a bowl more at dinner and even looked at expensive saddles online, saying he wanted to get a lighter saddle for Sesame so that it wouldn’t hurt when carrying two people.

This good mood only lasted until Wuxi Li returned.

When she returned home, Zong Yanlei was just about to take his medicine when Butler Li said that Madam looked unwell and told him to hurry over. He rushed over without even having time to take his medicine.

Then came a barrage of insults.

Wuxi Li somehow learned about the bet between Zong Yanlei and Wuxi Chen, and was furious. She said that Zong Yanlei acted recklessly and impulsively without considering the consequences.

“His father is the head of the Wuxi family, the prime minister of Penglai, and the half-sibling of the late empress. Most importantly, he is also a member of my clan.” Wuxi Li’s expression was cold. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this. Do you have some grudge against me?”

Zong Yanlei tried to argue: “I have no grievances against you. It was Wuxi Chen who provoked me first. I just…”

“What are you?” Wuxi Li abruptly interrupted him. “You’ve only made a fool of yourself in front of the entire Baiyujing and created a formidable enemy for yourself. ‘Without overwhelming absolute power, every act of resistance will turn into a blade that backfires on you.’ I told you that, why didn’t you remember it properly!”

“I……”

Zong Yanlei’s face turned deathly pale. I knew it was time for me to step forward.

“Madam, it has nothing to do with the young master, it’s my fault.” I knelt down and crawled to Wuxi Li’s front, kowtowing twice. “I have made enemies for the young master, please punish me.”

Wuxi Li usually had a gentle and intellectual demeanor, and this was the first time I’d seen her so angry. Even when she argued with Zong Shen’an, she never got red in the face; at most, she’d make a few sarcastic remarks, and she always had a smile on her face.

“Do you think I’ll let you off?” Wuxi Li coldly ordered, “Guards, drag him away and give him ten lashes with the whip.”

“Mother, he… I still need him!” Zong Yanlei said urgently.

Wuxi Li was unmoved. Her disdainful gaze fell upon me, as if she were looking at an inanimate object rather than a person.

“If you say another word, he’ll get twenty lashes. He’s just a lowly commoner; if you can find one, you can find another. Besides, as long as he doesn’t die, even if he’s paralyzed, he’ll still be usable.”

She had barely finished speaking when two male servants dragged me out of the room.

They took me outside the mansion, near the woods, and then made me take off my shirt and hug a broken, dead tree stump.

It was too dark, so they shone a flashlight on me. I couldn’t even see who was carrying out the order before I was whipped on the back.

The whip struck my back, first with a pain so intense it made me want to scream. Then after a while, as the pain subsided, I felt a fine ache, like countless tiny needles pricking me. I took one lash after another, until all ten lashes had been delivered, my entire back was burning.

“Alright, that’s all for now. Take the person back.”

My hands were trembling as I tried to put on my clothes, but I couldn’t button them up no matter what I did. In the end, one of the male servants who was escorting me couldn’t bear to see me like that and buttoned them up for me.

After I got dressed, they tried to help me up, but I politely declined. I relied on my own two legs, taking three steps and resting every few steps, and slowly made my way back to my lodgings.

My room was connected to Zong Yanlei’s, right behind his bedroom. It was a very small room with no windows and hardly any personal space. To get into my room, I had to pass through the living room and Zong Yanlei’s bedroom.

When I opened the door to the living room, I was stunned. Not for any other reason than that the room was in complete disarray. The entire living room looked like it had been ravaged by a hurricane; furniture was overturned, porcelain was shattered, cushions were scattered everywhere, and even the medicine that Zong Yanlei hadn’t had time to take before leaving was spilled on the floor.

I looked around the messy room twice before finally finding Zong Yanlei in a dim corner. A floor lamp lay overturned at his feet; although the white porcelain lamp post was broken, the bulb at the top was still working stubbornly, emitting a faint light.

I struggled across the mess to reach him and slowly squatted down.

“Young Master?”

Zong Yanlei shuddered and lifted his head from between his arms. His eyes were so red they looked like they were about to bleed. At first, I thought he had been crying, but upon closer inspection, I noticed that his eyes were very dry.

“Jiang Man…” His forearm and fingers were covered in bleeding wounds. I didn’t if he had injured himself while smashing things in a fit of anger, or whether he had bitten or scratched himself. “Mother said that Sesame should be compensated to Wuxi Chen.”

Ah……

The image of Wu Chen beating the black horse, and the image of Zong Yanlei gently rubbing Sesame’s head, flashed before my eyes. I tried to move the corners of my lips as usual and say a few nice words, but I found that I could not control my stiff facial muscles.

“I… I’ll sneak him out and set him free…”

If I release him into the forest, at least there would be a glimmer of hope for Sesame.

“It’s too late, they’ve already sent him.” His voice was so calm, revealing exhaustion after venting.

I suddenly lost my voice.

“Jiang Man, my mother said I shouldn’t have resisted. So I really am a bastard, a bastard covered in rotten flesh… right?”

After serving him for three years, I could tell his condition was not right. I reached out and touched his forehead, and it was slightly hot to the touch, he had a fever.

Fever was commonplace for Zong Yanlei. I checked his temperature, and it wasn’t particularly high. It was probably caused by excessive emotional excitement, and there was no danger to his life.

“Of course not.” I gently pulled his arm and let him rest his head on my lap.

He lay down quietly, his eyes half-open, as if he were gazing at me, or as if he saw nothing and wasn’t looking at anything.

“I won’t live to adulthood.” He slowly closed his eyes, as if finally accepting his fate, and suddenly proclaimed this unfortunate “premature death” to himself.

My back hurt, so much so that I was sweating profusely. I knew perfectly well that the most important thing I should do right then and there was to get up and call for a cleaner and a doctor, and then take a strong painkiller. But at that moment, I did nothing. I just let Zong Yanlei rest his head on my lap, continuing the absurd lie that we both knew so well.

“No, you will definitely live to be a hundred. I am very healthy, I can give you a piece of my life.”

He chuckled, a hint of disdain in his voice: “I don’t care about your life…”

“I don’t want to…”

His voice gradually lowered, and soon his breathing became even as he fell into a deep sleep. For a moment, the surroundings were silent, and in the chaos of the room, only the soft, intertwined breathing of the two of us remained.

Before joining the Zong family, nobles were a group. They were high and mighty, indulging in sensual pleasures; they lived extravagantly, regarding the common people as ants. After joining the Zong family, nobles became individuals. They too had to flatter and fawn; they too were not in control of their own lives, living under the shackles of their families.

Beyond social class lies another social class, and above the nobility lies yet another nobility; the pyramids are built layer upon layer, creating a cannibalistic society.

From that day on, I suddenly understood a principle.

It turns out that there is no difference between commoners and nobles.

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A few days later, news came from the Wuxi family that Sesame had been frightened while riding, causing Wuxi Chen to fall off his horse. The day after he was brought there, Wuxi Chen broke all four of Sesame’s limbs and abandoned him in the stable to die. The pony, which always liked to wag his tail at people and would run towards them like a puppy, was tormented by excruciating pain for two whole days before finally breathing his last.

Upon hearing this news, I immediately instructed all the servants who usually had contact with Zong Yanlei to be careful with their words, and to answer that they had not heard any news about Sesame if Zong Yanlei asked.

Fortunately, after recovering from his illness, Zong Yanlei seemed to have completely forgotten about it and never mentioned Sesame again. This secret was thus buried in my heart, just like all the other secrets, big and small.