EM 31. Scars

Xiao Mingxuan stood in the corridor watching him walk away. He didn’t look away, even after the figure disappeared around the corner. He wanted to go after him, but after a moment of struggle, he held himself back. Because when he tried to stop him a second time, Song Feng had simply told him not to follow.

His tone had been soft, stripped of his usual flippant manner. Clearly, there was something between him and the main unit that needed to be settled. Xiao Mingxuan wasn’t stupid. He knew that just a few steps forward might bring him closer to Song Feng’s past, but he forced himself to stop.

Everyone has their own lines they won’t cross. Even if they were to end up together one day, they each deserved a space where they could breathe freely. He did want to know more about this man, but rather than picking away at it piece by piece, he preferred to hear it straight from Song Feng

So he stopped, quietly waiting for that man to come back.

Song Feng sprinted down the corridor. The passageway to the back building was made of glass, and the sunlight poured in from the sky in blinding torrents. Standing at the center of the corridor was Zheng Qiyong, posture straight and rigid, just as it had been years ago.

“Instructor!”

Zheng Qiyong paused and turned to look at him. “Why aren’t you at training? What are you doing here?”

Song Feng reflexively took half a step back, then stepped forward again. His gaze was heavy, as if no light could reach into it. He drew a breath and said quietly, “I have something to tell you.”

Zheng Qiyong went silent for a moment. “If it’s about Xiaohang, I’ve already heard from your grandfather.”

Song Feng’s hand trembled. The cigarette between his fingers shook too, scattering a few flecks of ash. He opened his mouth, but his throat felt like it was choked with stone. Not a single word could come out.

Zheng Qiyong looked at him. He could still remember what this kid had been like back then, always getting dragged through hell by training and causing trouble every few days. No matter how brutally he was punished, his eyes had stayed clear. They were not like that now. But maybe this was what it meant to grow up. People crossed one threshold after another, layer after layer of the world clinging to them, until innocence and simplicity were gone.

The boy from back then had grown into a tall, upright man. His will had never wavered, and now he was even tougher than before, strong enough to hold up half the sky. Just thinking about it made Zheng Qiyong feel that he should be proud of him. No matter what he had gone through, he was still alive, even if he was drenched in blood.

Zheng Qiyong stood there for a while, then finally stepped forward.

Song Feng did not move. He stood there quietly, ready to accept whatever came next. Whether it was a slap or a kick, it did not matter. But after a moment, nothing happened. The man simply walked up and patted his shoulder.

“Let it go.”

Song Feng’s body gave a slight jolt.

Then came a cold voice.

“Get back to training. Stop wasting time on useless thoughts.”

Song Feng said nothing. He stood there for a long time, then finally turned around and leaned against the glass pillar. His fingers were trembling as he lit another cigarette. Smoke curled up in front of his face, blurring his eyes and making it impossible to tell what he was feeling.

He could not let it go. That wound had already scarred over and would follow him for the rest of his life. No matter how he tried, he could neither smooth it out nor leave it behind.

Xiao Mingxuan’s steps came to a halt. The corridor was bright from end to end, but the man sat in the shadows behind the pillar, head down, a cigarette between his lips. There was something starkly lonely about him, so much so that it gave the illusion he might be crying.

He had waited a long time, and when Song Feng still didn’t come back, he stepped around the corner to take a look, worried that Zheng Qiyong might have actually done something to him. He had not expected to see this. In his impression, Song Feng had always been full of life, strong in both body and will. He had never imagined that someone like him could look so quiet, so defeated. Just seeing him like that made his chest ache.

He walked over quickly. Song Feng heard the footsteps and looked up. The corners of his eyes lifted slightly in his usual lazy expression, as if nothing had happened just moments ago. He grumbled, “Didn’t I tell you not to follow me?”

“I was afraid they’d beat you to death.” Xiao Mingxuan stood in front of him, looking down, trying to catch some trace of what had just happened. But he found nothing. Song Feng’s face gave absolutely nothing away.

“Did Zheng Qiyong hit you?”

Song Feng flicked the cigarette butt aside and gave a faint smile.

“You tell me.”

“How would I know?” Xiao Mingxuan’s eyes stayed on him. “You looked strange just now… what’s going on? Something bothering you?”

“No. I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about what?”

“Why I didn’t get beaten up.”

“…”

Song Feng looked at him seriously. “I mean it.”

Back to being shameless again. Xiao Mingxuan sighed inwardly and reached out to pat his head. “Come on. I’ll get you some cigarettes.”

Song Feng answered and walked back with him. After a moment, Xiao Mingxuan said quietly, “If something’s on your mind, just say it.”

“I really was just thinking.”

Xiao Mingxuan glanced over but didn’t press. Once they returned to the office, he grabbed two packs of cigarettes and tossed him a lighter. Song Feng lit up right away, stuffed everything into his pocket, then threw himself forward to hug him.

“You’re such a good person, Chief. I swear.”

Xiao Mingxuan let him hug for a second, then patted him lightly. “Since everyone in the barracks already knows, hand out one stick each when you get back. That way they won’t riot. But don’t spread it around.”

Song Feng nodded obediently and waved. “Got it. I’m going.”

Xiao Mingxuan watched him leave. His gaze deepened. He should have realized that someone like Song Feng would always hide things deep. There was probably a hard shell around his heart. Getting through it was never going to be easy.

He let out a quiet breath. But that was fine. He had always been patient.

The elimination round was far from over. After a short break, training resumed as usual. The intensity hadn’t changed, only the classroom content had. But something unexpected happened during this time. One person suddenly broke through like he had flipped a switch. The burst of speed stunned even the top trainees, who had been leading the entire way. They could only stare in disbelief. Even the instructor on duty couldn’t help gaping.

“What the hell? What’s going on? Did this kid take stimulants or something?”

Xiao Mingxuan stood at the edge of the field, perfectly calm. Someone trained personally by the commander was not to be taken lightly.

Bai Xuyao was gasping for breath. “Bro… what the hell happened to you?”

“Don’t ask,” Song Feng was drenched in sweat. His voice was exhausted. “If you guys fail, worst case you pack up and go home. If I fail, I’m dead. You tell me what happened.”

Wei Xiaoyan struggled to keep up with him. “It’s because of that guy from last time, isn’t it? Who the hell was he?”

“He’s a complete sadist. From now on, stay far away from him. Got it?”

Wei Xiaoyan and Bai Xuyao answered in unison. “Got it!”

Song Feng finished his push-ups then bounced over to the edge of the field. Xiao Mingxuan passed him a bottle of water and stood quietly beside him. He watched as Song Feng tipped his head back, his throat moving with each swallow. The sight made him let out a breath he hadn’t meant to hold. He could only watch, as always, never able to take one step closer. He didn’t know how long it would stay like this.

“Vice captain.” One of the instructors walked over, casting an involuntary glance at Song Feng beside him.

“It’s fine. Go ahead.”

The man nodded. “Their ability to absorb information has pretty much stabilized. We can start the next round of eliminations.”

“Understood. Set up a written exam.”

The man let out a breath. “We’ll probably lose a chunk of the rural recruits. It’s a shame. They’re good material.”

“There’s no helping that.”

The man gave a quiet reply. Rural recruits usually had excellent physical fitness and a kind of raw determination that was worth admiring and learning from. But due to their weaker educational backgrounds, their academic performance tended to fall short. Special forces soldiers faced extreme risk and unimaginable mental and military stress. Without the intelligence to keep up, they would struggle to carry out missions successfully. And the training involved far too much knowledge for anyone with poor comprehension skills to follow. From a certain perspective, washing them out now was also a way of protecting them. At least they wouldn’t die on the battlefield.

Song Feng had heard the whole thing. He put down the water bottle and shouted across the field, “Hey! My dearest Xiao Xuxu! Next up is a written exam, you better get it together!”

Everyone on the training field had already finished up. As soon as they heard the news, the whole place erupted. Cries of despair spread like wildfire. Bai Xuyao, operating under the principle of not provoking a riot, held back his laughter, but the brightness in his eyes gave him away. He was clearly in a good mood. Unfortunately, it did not last long. The moment word got out about the written exam, panic set in across the camp. The chief instructor, seeing little improvement from further training, had no choice but to dismiss them early so they could review.

That night, Bai Xuyao became the hottest commodity in the barracks. He was immediately pulled into a tutoring marathon, carrying the spirit of mutual aid deep into the night. But even then, no one let him off the hook. He was nearly in tears.

“I need to sleep. If I stay up too late, my IQ drops, alright?”

Everyone tried to reassure him.

“It’s fine. Just one night. Once the exam’s over tomorrow morning, you can crash.”

Bai Xuyao refused flatly. “No.”

With the threat of elimination looming behind them, no one was willing to back off. Someone headed to the corner of the room, picked up the two plastic bottles, then came back and shook them in front of him.

“Start talking.”

Bai Xuyao returned to bed looking perfectly calm. “Hmph. I’m not scared anymore, alright?”

Everyone stared at him in shock, then turned as one to look at Song Feng and Wei Xiaoyan. Their expressions were nearly hopeless. The two of them were just about to lie down, but the sudden wave of gazes made them sit up in alarm.

“What’s going on? Something happened?”

The group looked at them with overwhelming sorrow.

“Is Xiao Bai really not afraid of mice anymore?”

Bai Xuyao threw back his blanket. “Stop calling me Xiao Bai!”

The two of them completely ignored his roar and looked over instead, both sounding genuinely surprised.

“Wow. When did those two little mice get so big?”

Bai Xuyao froze for a second, then launched himself across the room.

“What the hell did I ever do to you two? What did I do? Are you trying to kill me? You bastards. Absolute bastards!”

Song Feng looked entirely innocent. “What did I even say?”

Wei Xiaoyan looked innocent too. “We were just making an observation. Why are you so worked up? Wait, what’s actually going on? Why is everyone looking at us?”

Bai Xuyao said nothing.

The others paused for a moment, then all rushed out the door. Moments later, they came back, each holding a little mouse.

Bai Xuyao froze again.

Then he sprinted into the corner.

“Stay away! I’ll never forgive you! Even if I die, I’ll haunt you!”

Song Feng and Wei Xiaoyan glanced at each other, silently tore up some paper, rolled it into balls, stuffed them into their ears, and went back to sleep.

The third elimination round wrapped up in half a day. Despite being pushed to the brink both physically and mentally, Bai Xuyao still placed first and passed with flying colors. Afterwards, he stood with one foot planted dramatically on his bed and shouted:

“A genius is a genius, no matter the state! Hah! I’m unbeatable!”

The others were packing up nearby. Before leaving, they looked at each other, then quietly tossed the mice onto his bed.

“Aaah! I’m going to report all of you!”

Just then, Song Feng came back from the main building office. He was so moved he almost teared up. First he shook Bai Xuyao’s hand, then went over and shook Duan Qing’s as well, voice thick with emotion.

“Good boys. From now on, you’re sticking with me.”

Everyone looked at him in disbelief. Wei Xiaoyan asked, “Boss, what happened to you?”

Song Feng sounded choked up. “The hard days are finally over.”

Bai Xuyao rushed over. “Does this mean we can finally move into the dorms? Let’s go. My bed’s not even usable anymore.”

“Hey, are we actually getting reassigned to the dorms?”

“No idea.”

“Then what the hell are we following you for?”

“The chief instructor said your real test is about to begin. So I’m taking you to pick up girls.”

Everyone fell silent.