EM 44. Nightclub

Training continued at full speed. Though autumn had officially arrived, the lingering heat of summer still clung to the air. The sun showed no sign of letting up, and everyone remained in their tight camouflage uniforms during drills. Xiao Mingxuan frequently noticed someone watching him. The gaze was quiet, focused, and unwavering. Beautiful eyes blinked at him with a mix of restraint and longing. For a fleeting moment, it almost gave him the illusion that Song Feng had actually fallen for him.

He could tell the look in those eyes carried a kind of curiosity, a deliberate assessment. He didn’t mind it in the slightest. After all, this man had already seen him completely naked. At this point, what was left to be shy about? So with each passing day, he became more composed.

Song Feng had been wrestling with himself for several days, still unable to make up his mind. He did enjoy trying new and exciting things, so long as they didn’t harm his health. Life was too short to live cautiously. Once a person died, the body went into the cremator, reduced to ash in seconds, leaving nothing behind. Living without freedom was nothing but a waste. So when it came to the question of top or bottom, he didn’t particularly care. The problem was last time hurt like hell. There had not been even a hint of pleasure, and the experience left him with no desire to try again.

During a break, he glanced around, wanting to find Wei Xiaoyan to ask for more details. But when he looked over, he saw the man standing in front of Xiao Mingxuan, chattering away with a grin, practically glued to his side. Xiao Mingxuan listened quietly, the corner of his mouth even twitching into a slight smile. He patted Wei Xiaoyan on the shoulder. His mood seemed unusually good.

Wei Xiaoyan lit up even more, clearly thrilled with himself.

Song Feng had known for a long time that Wei Xiaoyan had no sense of shame left. After hanging around him this long, it was expected. He narrowed his eyes and caught sight of Duan Qing nearby. He walked over.

“I saw Xiaoyan chatting with Xiao Mingxuan,” he said.

Duan Qing didn’t react. He simply gave a nod.

“He looked really… enthusiastic,” Song Feng continued.

“Oh,” Duan Qing said, trying to sound indifferent.

Song Feng’s expression turned suspiciously innocent. “Be honest with me. Are you not satisfying him anymore?”

Duan Qing: “…”

“So now he’s off to find someone else. Is that it?”

Duan Qing looked at him in silence, beginning to wonder what exactly went on inside this man’s head.

Before Song Feng could push the conversation any further, Wei Xiaoyan came bounding back, cheerful as ever.

“Boss~” he called out, then turned and grabbed Duan Qing’s hand with bright eyes. “Darling, what were you two talking about?”

“Just chatting,” Duan Qing said stiffly after taking a breath.

Song Feng watched Wei Xiaoyan’s affectionate behavior, which was exactly the same as how he had acted with Xiao Mingxuan just moments before. Same tone, same face, no difference at all. Suddenly, he felt a deep sense of pride in his apprentice’s growth. He clapped him on the shoulder.

“I thought one man wasn’t enough for you, and you were looking to switch,” he said, completely serious. “But now I get it. You want both of them at once.”

Duan Qing: “…”

Wei Xiaoyan froze for a long moment. Then he blinked. “…Huh?”

Song Feng was left with a deep sense of disillusionment. He turned and walked away, determined to find Bai Xuyao. Compared to that pair, his younger apprentice seemed as pure as a rabbit. He needed someone harmless to help calm the emotional trauma he had just suffered.

Wei Xiaoyan didn’t understand what had triggered that reaction, but he felt this was the right time to nudge things forward. He caught up with him, voice lowered in excitement.

“Boss, did you try it? Was it amazing?”

Song Feng froze in his tracks. After a long pause, he pulled Wei Xiaoyan into a corner and crouched down beside him. Their heads leaned close together.

“Is it really that good?” he asked, still unsure.

“I thought it was,” Wei Xiaoyan said, choosing his words carefully. Then, with cautious encouragement, he added, “You could try it yourself. See what you think.”

Song Feng looked at him doubtfully. “Doesn’t it hurt?”

Wei Xiaoyan blinked, cleared his throat, and lied with a straight face. “It only feels a little weird during the prep, but after that, it’s all good.”

“Really?”

Really,” Wei Xiaoyan said, nodding. “If it doesn’t feel right, then don’t do it again. But if it turns out to be fine, you and the boss could keep going like that. Sooner or later, you’ll need to settle down. He’s a decent man. He’d know how to take care of you.”

He looked at Song Feng expectantly. Settle down. Please settle down. Stop making my life miserable.

“That makes sense,” Song Feng nodded thoughtfully. After a pause, he asked, “But if you know he likes me, why were you still flirting with him?”

Wei Xiaoyan was caught off guard. “I was flirting with him? When?”

“Just now.”

“…That was not flirting,” Wei Xiaoyan said. “I needed to talk to him. What did you think it was?”

Song Feng blinked. He pulled back slightly and muttered, “A setup for a threesome.”

Wei Xiaoyan had to reevaluate just how low his boss’s brain could go. He took a breath and said, “He likes you. There’s no way he’d agree to anything like that with me. I’m not stupid. Even if I wanted that kind of thing, it wouldn’t be with him. What are you even thinking? Do you really believe he’d say yes?”

Song Feng gave a meek nod. “He’s a man. If he’s been holding it in too long, he might need to blow off some steam.”

Wei Xiaoyan gave him a solemn pat on the shoulder. “Boss, please stop projecting your own behavior onto other people.” He paused, then asked with a glint in his eye, “But let’s say he really did sleep with me. How would that make you feel?”

Song Feng had never actually thought about it before. He tried to picture it—this man, the one who always held him so tightly in bed, who had touched him in every possible way, who promised him so much, suddenly turning around and doing all that with his own apprentice. Then possibly coming back to lie in his arms with someone else’s scent on his skin.

His face twisted.

“Fuck. All men are trash.”

Wei Xiaoyan nodded. At least now, things looked promising.

As he turned to leave, Song Feng stopped him.

“Wait. Why were you talking to him earlier anyway?”

Wei Xiaoyan’s heart skipped. He had gone to Xiao Mingxuan earlier to report the situation and reaffirm his loyalty, but that absolutely could not reach Song Feng’s ears. After a quick pause, he made a choice and leaned in.

“About that,” he began, “you’re doing that segment tomorrow on common drugs found in nightclubs, right? Are we going back to the same place? They might bring in some eye candy again. I already told Boss we don’t need girls for me and Duan Qing.”

His expression turned uncharacteristically serious. “Boss, I want to settle down. Just one person. A real relationship.”

Song Feng blinked in surprise. Then he narrowed his eyes.

“I saw him smiling at you. What was that about?”

“He respects my commitment,” Wei Xiaoyan replied smoothly. “Loyalty means a lot to him. That’s why he was pleased.”

Song Feng stared at him for a moment, then finally stopped questioning it.

A whistle blew, signaling the end of break. Training resumed. But just as the afternoon was winding down, the schedule abruptly shifted. The exercise planned for tomorrow was moved to tonight, and tomorrow’s training would go ahead as usual. After changing clothes, the group set out for the nightclub.

Song Feng sat in the passenger seat and glanced at the man beside him. “Wasn’t this supposed to be tomorrow? Why the sudden change?”

“Because I felt like it,” Xiao Mingxuan said casually. After a pause, he added, “I checked with the central command. We can spend the night and head back in the morning.”

Song Feng’s eyes lit up. He reached out.

“No girls for you,” Xiao Mingxuan said as he reached over mid-drive and ruffled his hair. “You’re rooming with me.”

Song Feng didn’t even have the strength to be angry. “Why?”

“To save money,” Xiao Mingxuan replied. When he heard from Wei Xiaoyan what Song Feng had been agonizing over recently, his first thought was to press him down that night and get it over with properly. But then he remembered how inconvenient the dorm was. No supplies. No setting. It would leave a bad impression. And he didn’t want to wait until tomorrow. So he simply moved the entire schedule forward.

They arrived soon after and booked a private room. Song Feng lit a cigarette, pointing to the spread on the table.

“Take a good look. Weed, ecstasy, even meth. You’ll find this stuff in most of the well-known clubs, no matter how clean they look on the surface. As long as someone has the right connections, they can get their hands on it. We don’t know what kinds of missions we’ll get in the future, so learning more won’t hurt.”

He had one hand in his pocket, the other holding the cigarette between his fingers as he explained the details with surprising patience. Xiao Mingxuan sat on the couch, watching him through the hazy, suggestive light. That mouth curved in a lazy smile, and his eyes caught the light with that usual gleam. The way he stood against the backdrop of luxury and indulgence left no gap, no mismatch, as if the scene had been made to frame him.

Xiao Mingxuan shut his eyes for a moment.

He had seen this kind of scene before, more than once. And every time, he thought the same thing. Song Feng was made for places like this. His whole being thrived in this kind of world, untamed and vibrant. Yet because of one selfish decision, Xiao Mingxuan had dragged him away from all that and trapped him in these remote mountains. Even if they had shared time, meals, or beds, Song Feng still wasn’t free.

Everything about Song Feng, from his presence to his body to that unreachable part of his soul, was always chasing freedom.

Xiao Mingxuan had asked himself this question many times. If the team finally came together and succeeded, would he let Song Feng go?

He had imagined every outcome, weighed every possibility.

And still, the answer was the same. He couldn’t.

This man had already seeped into his life, etched into his soul. It was only when he saw Song Feng that he felt alive.

Song Feng finished his explanation and looked up at him. “What’s next?”

Xiao Mingxuan glanced at the time. It felt like the right moment to wrap things up. He called in a few women to help the group unwind. If anyone wanted to indulge, he wasn’t going to stop them. Some things couldn’t be understood in theory alone. It was better to experience them firsthand.

Song Feng blinked and looked at him with wide eyes, pitiful as ever. “I want one too…”

Xiao Mingxuan patted his head. “Out of sight, out of mind. Let’s go.”

“No—”

Xiao Mingxuan pulled him up and started toward the door. As they walked, Song Feng kept glancing back, reluctant to leave. He clung to Xiao Mingxuan’s arm, stealing one last look over his shoulder. His beautiful eyes were full of silent grievance.

Xiao Mingxuan leaned down and kissed his forehead.

Song Feng, maybe not now, but I will do everything I can to give you your freedom.

That, I promise.

Wei Xiaoyan had already given Xiao Mingxuan a heads-up to avoid blowing their cover, so he sat stiffly in his seat, staring at the women with a blank face. After a few moments, he glanced around. Deciding he could still find someone on the outside, he stood and headed for the exit with renewed optimism. Duan Qing, bored by the whole affair, followed him without a word.

Bai Xuyao looked around, then rushed over to the door and asked, “Senior, are you and Duan Qing going to get a room?”

Wei Xiaoyan froze mid-step.

Up ahead, the other two turned around. Song Feng waved casually. “We’re going to bed. Come on, let’s go together.”

Wei Xiaoyan choked down a noise and nodded silently. He tugged Duan Qing along as he followed. Tears were already welling in his eyes.

He had not vented in so long. He had needs. Physical needs. And now the one chance he had might be gone forever. This was karmic punishment, and he brought it on himself. He glared at Bai Xuyao’s retreating back and thought grimly. This is war.

Duan Qing glanced sideways. “What’s wrong with you?”

Wei Xiaoyan lowered his voice in agony. “You know that saying One lie takes a hundred more to cover it up? It’s the truth.”

…

Song Feng and Xiao Mingxuan checked into a standard double room. They took turns showering. Xiao Mingxuan had considered slipping into the bathroom while the man was inside, but it felt too obvious. He decided to wait. After a quick rinse, he stepped out wearing nothing but a pair of briefs, towel in hand as he dried his hair.

Song Feng was curled up in bed. His gaze was soft, quiet, almost puppy-like. He didn’t say a word, just stared.

Xiao Mingxuan had spent days wondering what this man was scheming. Now he finally understood. He kept himself under control, though the look in those eyes nearly made him lose composure. Some twisted part of him wanted to pounce, rip his clothes off, grab him by the chin, and ask, You wanted to try? Then beg. Beg me to fuck you.

He walked over slowly. “Why are you looking at me like that? You want to do it?”

Song Feng nodded. Then caught himself and shook his head in a panic.

Xiao Mingxuan leaned over. “Make up your mind. If you want to top me, forget it. But if I’m the one doing it, I have no objections.”

Song Feng stared at him for a long moment. There was hesitation in his eyes, a flicker of conflict. Then he abruptly yanked the blanket over himself and curled into a tight ball.

Xiao Mingxuan muttered under his breath. He walked over and tugged at the blanket. “Come out. Are you trying to suffocate?”

“Don’t bother me,” Song Feng growled, gripping the covers with all his strength. “I need to think.”

Xiao Mingxuan pulled the blanket away and climbed onto the bed. He threw it over himself and lay down, sounding entirely too pleased. “Think all you want.”

The autumn air was cool. Song Feng, wearing only a pair of briefs, didn’t last long in the corner. After a short while, he inched closer and reached out to paw at him.

“Finished thinking?”

“No,” Song Feng said miserably. “I’m cold…”

Xiao Mingxuan let out a breath, then lifted the blanket and pulled him into his arms.

Song Feng poked at his abs again, but this time his hand was caught. Xiao Mingxuan dragged that hand around his waist, then rolled over and pinned him beneath him.

He was done holding back.