EM 49. Old Wounds

Xiao Mingxuan had always been curious about Song Feng’s past, but he had never pressed for answers. Not obviously, and not urgently. After all, the person he liked was the Song Feng in front of him, and what happened in the past did not seem that important. He preferred to let Song Feng tell him in his own time.

But after hearing what Wei Xiaoyan had said, he realized it was time to understand things more deeply. That man had spent several years as a mercenary and had undoubtedly crossed paths with many powerful forces. Even in Malaysia alone, two men had already gotten tangled up with him, never mind all the others.

It was not that he feared enemies suddenly showing up, but that he did not even know who those enemies were or what grudges they held. That was the real headache. And then there was the way Wei Xiaoyan had said “go insane again”which made it clear this was no simple matter.

He frowned. “What kind of grudge are we talking about?”

Wei Xiaoyan sighed. “It’s a long story. The point is, no matter what, you can’t let him find out. Especially not about those two being hospitalized. If he finds out, he’ll definitely lose it.” He looked up at the apartment building. “He’s upstairs right now?”

“He should be.” Xiao Mingxuan thought back to the call he had just made. Song Feng would be coming down soon, so this was not the right time to continue the conversation. He glanced at the piles of gift boxes in Wei Xiaoyan’s hands and raised a brow slightly. “You came to see the same person? Is this about the same incident?”

Wei Xiaoyan nodded. “I just wanted to remind him to be extra careful these days. I didn’t expect him to come here the moment his… sister-in-law came back from her hometown.” As he spoke, he instinctively glanced toward the entrance of the apartment and froze. “Ah, there they are.”

Xiao Mingxuan had not even had time to react to the word “sister-in-law”, when Wei Xiaoyan’s next sentence pulled his attention away. He turned his head and froze in place.

Song Feng was holding a small child, about two years old, with a chubby, cherubic face that was undeniably adorable. He was laughing and playing with the child as he walked, talking to the beautiful woman beside him.

Wei Xiaoyan waved. “Hey, boss!”

Song Feng looked up and jogged over with a smile. “Why are you here so early?”

“Came to visit sister-in-law,” Wei Xiaoyan replied, glancing at the stunning woman next to him with a grin. “Happy New Year, sister-in-law.”

She smiled back at him. “Happy New Year to you too.” Her eyes landed briefly on Xiao Mingxuan. Wei Xiaoyan quickly introduced them. “Sister-in-law, this is my friend. Boss, this is my sister-in-law.”

“Hello.” Xiao Mingxuan nodded at her, then turned to look at Song Feng. After a long silence, he finally asked, hesitantly, “This child is…”

Still grinning, Song Feng grabbed the child’s wrist and waved his little hand in front of Xiao Mingxuan like a prize. “Cute, isn’t he? His name is Xiaolin. Lin as in Qilin. He’s my son.”

Xiao Mingxuan: “..”

“Look at him, isn’t he adorable? He’s definitely going to be a heartbreaker when he grows up.” Song Feng chuckled, kissed the child’s cheek, then turned back. “Wipe his nose for him.”

The woman gave a soft reply, opened her bag, and leaned forward to pull out some tissues.

Xiao Mingxuan stood there in silence, staring at this warm, picture-perfect family of three. All he wanted was to grab a grenade launcher and blast the whole scene into dust.

Wei Xiaoyan edged closer and whispered, “Boss, breathe. Stay calm.”

Before Xiao Mingxuan could respond, Song Feng looked over. “You guys haven’t eaten yet, right? Come on, let’s go grab a meal.”

Wei Xiaoyan nodded and lifted the gifts in his hands. “Sister-in-law, let me run these back inside first.”

The woman immediately chided, “You didn’t need to bring anything.”

Wei Xiaoyan smiled and followed her upstairs. The two of them chatted as they went, quickly disappearing from view.

Still smiling, Song Feng poked the child’s cheek and pointed at Xiao Mingxuan. “Xiaolin, say hello to Uncle.”

Xiao Mingxuan felt like either he had not fully woken up or he was still sleepwalking and had started hallucinating. He turned away in silence, then suddenly spun back. “What the hell is going on?”

“What do you mean, what’s going on?” Song Feng blinked, then suddenly realized. “Oh, you mean Xiaolin? He’s my godson. You thought he was mine?”

Xiao Mingxuan let out a long breath. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Song Feng looked amused. “And if he were mine?”

“With your past reputation, I wouldn’t be surprised. As long as the kid’s mother doesn’t show up, I wouldn’t mind helping you raise a son,” Xiao Mingxuan said. He glanced at Xiaolin. “So who does he actually belong to?”

Song Feng tapped the child’s cheek and lowered his voice. “My mentor’s.”

Xiao Mingxuan paused. He suddenly recalled Song Feng mentioning once that his teacher had married a beautiful woman and even had a child, which was why he returned to China for a desk job. But if that were truly the case, then a simple reminder to stay safe would have sufficed. There would be no reason for Wei Xiaoyan to come all the way out here. And if Wei Xiaoyan had made the trip, it meant the man in question wasn’t in Beijing. But it was still the Spring Festival, and work hadn’t resumed yet. Why wasn’t that man spending the holidays with his wife and child?

Moreover, according to what Wei Xiaoyan had said, this incident was somehow connected to this mother and son.

His thoughts connected back to that late-night conversation he had once had with Song Feng in the dorm, and to the reason for Wei Xiaoyan’s visit today. In an instant, his expression changed. A possibility had begun to form, vague but sharp. He could already guess where this was going. He just desperately hoped he was wrong, because the answer was far too painful, too heavy to bear. He did not even dare to imagine it.

Wei Xiaoyan and the woman soon came back down, and the group piled into the car to head to a restaurant for dinner.

Xiao Mingxuan had originally planned to invite Wei Xiaoyan to stay at his place for the night, hoping to get a clearer picture of what had happened. But Song Feng extended the invitation first, asking him to stay at the Song house. Wei Xiaoyan also wanted to remain close to his boss and keep watch discreetly, so he agreed without hesitation. Xiao Mingxuan had no choice but to let it go, planning to look for another opportunity later.

A few days later, the members of Team 2 began arriving in Beijing, and soon the full team was assembled. Only then did they learn that both Xiao Mingxuan and Song Feng were part of the so-called princeling circles. They were baffled. With such golden backgrounds, why would young masters like them give up bright futures just to run off and become special forces?

Song Feng grinned. “Don’t ask me. Ask our glorious captain.”

Xiao Mingxuan looked over calmly. Everyone quickly averted their eyes.

Song Feng shrugged and happily took the team out to explore. He had wanted to bring them somewhere more exciting, but some of them said they had never toured the capital before. After discussing it, they decided to spend the day sightseeing and head to the club at night. Song Feng brought Xingan along, who was an instant hit.

Bai Xuyao’s eyes lit up. “Bro, can I walk him? He doesn’t bite, right?”

Song Feng handed over the leash without hesitation. “Don’t worry, my Xingan doesn’t bite people. Unless I tell him to. Though preferably in summer.”

Bai Xuyao was curious. “Why? Because people wear less?”

“Exactly. But not for the reason you’re thinking. I’ll show you,” Song Feng said as he pointed at Xiao Mingxuan and grinned. “Xingan, bite him.”

Xingan immediately lunged at Xiao Mingxuan’s feet. The latter instinctively stepped back, only to be pressed in place by Song Feng. “Relax. Watch closely.”

Xiao Mingxuan looked down. Xingan was using his fat little paws to tug at his pant leg, rolling up the cuff of his joggers. Then he went for the thermal pants underneath. The thermal layer was snug, which made it extra difficult to pull, but the dog refused to give up. Xiao Mingxuan could feel the paws rubbing up and down his leg, almost like it was giving him a scrub. After a moment of stunned silence, he asked, “What is it doing?”

Song Feng sighed. “Cleaning your leg before biting.”

“…” Xiao Mingxuan stared. “You taught him that?”

“No. My brother did. He’s a clean freak. He told Xingan if he ever bit anything dirty, he’d be thrown out. So now Xingan turned out like this. Look at him. It’s pathetic. Even biting someone takes effort.” Song Feng glanced down. “Alright, that’s enough. Been trying for ages and still hasn’t rolled it up. Forget the bite.”

Xingan paused, quietly rolled the pant leg back down, then shuffled to the corner and curled up. He wrapped his front paws around his head. After a while, he let out a low, miserable whine.

Song Feng rushed over, distressed. “Xingan, I was wrong. I’ll never make you bite people again.”

“Whine… whine…”

The group stared in stunned silence.

Two girls walking down the street caught sight of the scene. “Oh, a husky. So cute.” One of them crouched down with a smile. “Can I pet him?”

Xingan instantly jumped up and wagged his tail. “Woof!”

Song Feng turned and explained, “He’s thrilled you want to touch him.”

“Oh, wait a minute—aren’t you… Song Feng, right?” one of the girls asked with a smile.

Song Feng hesitated for half a second. He had seen too many pretty faces to keep track of them all, and he had never bothered to remember names. Was this someone he had played with before? He smiled as if nothing were strange. “Yeah. Long time no see.”

“It really has been a while. Is this your dog? Your boyfriend’s over there… oh, there he is.” She looked toward Wei Xiaoyan and greeted him with a smile. “You two look so happy.”

The moment she said that, both Song Feng and Wei Xiaoyan instantly understood. This must be that nurse who once looked after Song Feng. Maybe it was because attractive gay men were so rare and memorable in her experience, she had remembered them clearly all this time.

Wei Xiaoyan, under the weight of everyone’s strange stares and the pointed gaze of a certain actual boyfriend, slowly backed away.

“This must be your group of friends, right? Hello, everyone.” The woman smiled at the rest, and probably assumed most of them were gay too.

Everyone: “…”

She patted Xingan on the head. Xingan took the chance to nuzzle against her chest, then happily watched her leave.

Song Feng leaned over and whispered, “So? Was it real or all stuffing?”

Xingan scratched twice with his paws and didn’t bark.

Song Feng stroked his chin. “So it was all padding. No real flesh. Good thing I didn’t hook up with her back then.”

Xingan: “Woof!”

The others stared, faces twisted with disbelief. Like owner, like dog. The man was already a walking disaster, and the dog…. probably some kind of spirit beast in disguise.

The group visited several tourist spots during the day. That evening, Song Feng dropped Xingan off at home, then brought everyone to a club. This one was fancier than the last place they had gone to. Xiao Mingxuan booked a private room and told them to do whatever they wanted. If they got tired, they could come back and sit for a while.

Song Feng smiled and said, “Go wild. If anything happens, just drop my name or Young Master Xiao’s. Oh, right, there’s a racetrack in the basement. If you’re interested, go take a look. You never know what kind of situation we’ll run into in the future. Might be worth learning how to race. Could save your life.”

Everyone jumped up and scattered excitedly in all directions.

Since Xiao Mingxuan and Song Feng already had an agreement, he wasn’t worried about him fooling around. He decided to go look for Wei Xiaoyan and ask about the incident from a few days ago. But after circling the club a few times, he couldn’t even catch a glimpse of him. He tried calling, but no one answered. He frowned. Had something happened? Or was he out racing?

“Boss.”

Xiao Mingxuan looked up. It was Duan Qing. “Have you seen Xiaoyan?”

Duan Qing shook his head. “I’m looking for him too. Haven’t been able to find him anywhere. He’s not at the racetrack either.”

Xiao Mingxuan’s brows furrowed. Had something really happened?

They circled again, and halfway through the floor they ran into Song Feng. He looked at them with a grin. “Well, what a coincidence.”

Duan Qing asked, “Have you seen Xiaoyan?”

“You mean him? I know where he is. Come with me.”

Xiao Mingxuan’s heart skipped. He saw Duan Qing following along and had no choice but to go too. The three of them took the elevator up, then walked down a long hallway. Duan Qing looked at the doors on either side. “These are guest rooms?”

“Yeah. There’s a hotel built in. Makes it easier for guests to rest.” Song Feng opened one of the doors and led them in. With a bright smile, he pointed to the figure on the bed. “There he is.”

Duan Qing stood frozen.

Xiao Mingxuan glanced at the bed. Wei Xiaoyan was sprawled out, gasping and trembling, clearly under the effect of some kind of drug. He had no strength left.

Just as he had suspected.

Song Feng clapped Duan Qing’s shoulder warmly. “If the drug doesn’t wear off, it could kill him. You can find someone for him or take care of it yourself. Either way works. Good luck.” He waved and happily pulled Xiao Mingxuan out of the room with him.

Duan Qing stood there in stunned silence.

“I knew this was going to happen sooner or later,” Wei Xiaoyan panted, voice hoarse and strained. “Go find someone. They have to be healthy and skilled. Just don’t hurt me. Please… I can’t take it anymore…”

Duan Qing: “….”

Song Feng was in an excellent mood. After going wild for a while, he happily dragged Xiao Mingxuan off to get a room. They took turns showering. When Xiao Mingxuan came out drying his hair, he saw the man lounging against the headboard, fiddling with a stuffed toy he had bought earlier that day.

He asked in a low voice, “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Looks nice, right?” Song Feng shook it. “Got it for Xiaolin.”

Xiao Mingxuan froze slightly, then nodded. “It’s cute.” He tossed aside the towel, leaned in, and kissed him. Before long, heat rose between them again. After a round of entangled intimacy, they lay back against the headboard, skin damp with sweat, pressed flush and hot. Xiao Mingxuan lit a cigarette for him.

“Song Feng.”

“Mm?”

Xiao Mingxuan hesitated. Avoiding it was no solution. He finally asked, “Your teacher… where is he now?”

Song Feng went quiet for a moment and took a drag. “He passed away two years ago.” He paused again, voice lower. “It was my fault.”

Even though he had already suspected as much, hearing it confirmed still made Xiao Mingxuan’s chest seize up. The pain struck hard. He understood this feeling better than anyone. But what Song Feng had endured was far heavier than what he himself had ever faced.

“Song Feng…”

Song Feng let out a breath. “Don’t tell me it wasn’t my fault. You don’t understand. The target was me. He got caught in it… but whatever. The ones who needed to die are dead.” He paused again, took another drag, and added, “Young Master Xiao, Xiaolin is basically my own son. If you’re really serious about being with me, then you’ll have to treat him well. Same for my sister-in-law. Those are the two people I owe the most in this world.”

“I will,” Xiao Mingxuan said. After a pause, he asked, “Your sister-in-law isn’t from Beijing?”

“No. She works here, but she went back to her hometown for the New Year. My teacher’s parents passed away early, so Xiaolin is the only one left to carry on the family line. Her parents are still around, but Beijing has better education and opportunities, and my family can help take care of them, so she didn’t move back. Maybe she’ll remarry someday. That wouldn’t be a bad thing. At least someone would be there to look after them.”

Xiao Mingxuan hummed in response. After a while, he suddenly asked, “What if your sister-in-law ends up falling for you?”

Song Feng blinked. “That’s not possible.”

“You never know. What if she does?”

It was a question Song Feng had never considered, but he answered quickly. “Then I’d marry her. Even if I didn’t love her, I’d still marry her. I’d take care of her and Xiaolin for the rest of my life.”

Xiao Mingxuan fell silent.

In that moment, the future he had imagined with Song Feng shifted. What once felt clear now opened into something uncertain and deeply bitter.