F Side Story 14

He arrived at the office a little earlier than usual. Instead of getting out of the car right away, Yeonho checked the dashcam. He had set it to keep recording even while parked after work yesterday.

At the time, he had thought that Siwoo might return with Park Jihyun. Since Siwoo always parked his car as close to Yeonho’s as possible, there was a chance the dashcam might capture them together. He had acted on impulse, despite knowing he wouldn’t be able to bear seeing the two of them with his own eyes.

He wasn’t expecting to find anything unusual. The idea that Siwoo had started an affair with Park Jihyun was just a misunderstanding caused by a trap set by Siwoo’s parents, and the thought that they might send someone to threaten him was probably nothing more than wild imagination.

Still, with a light heart, he played the footage. A few hours after Yeonho had come home, Siwoo returned, driving the car he had left at the airport parking lot. He parked right next to Yeonho’s car and got out alone.

Time passed, and when it was already dawn, a man with a hat pulled low and a mask on approached Yeonho’s car, lingering nearby. To Yeonho, it looked like he was confirming the return of someone who hadn’t been home for the past two days, Joo Yeonho himself.

“…”

After checking Siwoo’s car parked beside Yeonho’s, the man tilted his head as if puzzled, then disappeared as if running away. As though he hadn’t expected Siwoo to return from his business trip earlier than planned.

Lowering his head, Yeonho let out a quiet chuckle and murmured softly.

“…I really might have died.”

His mother was arriving this afternoon. Tonight, he planned to tell his parents and Siwoo everything. He intended to ask them, without shame, to protect him.

He didn’t want to die. He wanted to love Siwoo for a long, long time, just as he had promised himself.

After work, he saw a familiar face waiting for him in the parking lot.

“Hyung, did you leave your car at home?”

Siwoo, who had been waiting for him in front of his car, stared at his lover in silence for a moment with a stiff face. Then he smiled and nodded.

“I wanted to come home with you.”

When Yeonho started the engine, Siwoo naturally got into the driver’s seat. Sitting in the passenger seat, Yeonho could easily guess why Siwoo had come to pick him up.

Siwoo had developed severe separation anxiety from past experiences, and Yeonho knew exactly what that meant for his state of mind. While waiting at home, Siwoo had probably been overwhelmed by the fear that Yeonho wouldn’t come back.

No matter what had happened to Siwoo, no matter who he had been with, Yeonho had never once doubted his love. But…

The thought wiped the smile off his face again. Weary, Yeonho turned to look out the window.

Unlike in the morning, Siwoo made no effort to lighten the mood. Yeonho could tell that Siwoo’s mood had also sunken deeply. The silence persisted all the way home.

On the elevator ride up, Yeonho’s heart pounded in fear that they might run into Park Jihyun. He didn’t know what he might do if he saw that man’s face now. He just hoped he wouldn’t have to confront him in front of Siwoo. That would be too humiliating.

When they got off the elevator, movers were clearing things out of the next-door apartment. There was no sign of Park Jihyun. Siwoo didn’t even glance in that direction. Yeonho stared at the empty apartment for a moment, then turned and looked at Siwoo.

Siwoo opened the front door and let Yeonho in without a word. As Yeonho saw Siwoo’s stiff, cold expression, a thought crossed his mind, what if Siwoo was planning to leave this house too?

It was just his imagination. The worst kind of delusion, the kind that dragged him straight to hell.

Terrified, he started biting the skin around his nails. He had said it himself, that no matter what Siwoo did, he wouldn’t blame him, he would still love him. So why…

Soon, Siwoo took his hands away. Gripping them tightly, he helped steady Yeonho’s swaying body and led him to the sink to wash his hands. He said nothing. Didn’t even look at him.

While washing Yeonho’s hands, Siwoo lifted his head and looked at Yeonho through the mirror. Yeonho met his gaze through the glass as well.

Siwoo wrapped Yeonho’s trembling hands with a towel and gently dried them.

He then placed a glass full of water on the living room table.

Yeonho, sitting on the sofa watching carefully, picked it up with both hands and took a sip.

Soon, a set of documents was laid out on the table. It was Yeonho’s will, drafted at a law office. Yeonho’s eyes widened.

He had never meant to hide the existence of the will from Siwoo. But he hadn’t wanted him to find it like this. He had planned to tell him later, when the time was right.

Was this why Siwoo was angry?

Siwoo asked coldly,

“Are you still thinking about dying?”

“Hyung, it’s not like that. It doesn’t mean anything. I just wrote it as a precaution, just in case. I told you, I want to live.”

But Siwoo kept questioning him.

“So if you die, this house, your money, the resort, all of it becomes mine, right? Even if I start seeing someone else after you’re gone?”

Siwoo wanted to understand what kind of thoughts had driven Yeonho to write that will.

No, he didn’t want to understand.

Because the moment he understood, he’d think, I would’ve done the same if I were you.

He didn’t want to understand, ever.

Yeonho calmly responded, still digging at the skin of his fingers with his nails.

“Because of me, you can’t inherit your parents’ business. That’s only fair. Even if we win the lawsuit and split the assets, not being able to get the company… that’s too big a loss.”

“Yeonho…”

Siwoo stopped Yeonho’s hand and let out a deep sigh before meeting his eyes and asking directly,

“What if I really slept with Park Jihyun? We had a one-night stand in the US, and we slept together again during this last business trip. Would you still want to keep that will?”

Yeonho nodded without hesitation.
“Yeah.”

Siwoo shut his eyes tightly, his expression twisted in pain. This wasn’t the kind of patience he had ever wanted from Yeonho. He hadn’t wanted him to leave behind something so absurd as that will. He wanted to tell him, this isn’t the kind of love I want from you. He wanted everything to be undone.

He couldn’t just let Yeonho keep enduring like this. So Siwoo began to shake him, provoke him, push him. Yeonho needed to understand, this love was hurting him. At this rate, it would destroy him.

Siwoo pulled out an unmarked glass bottle from under the table and asked,
“If I wanted to, could you take these too?”

The glass bottle was filled with capsules of white powder and white tablets. Siwoo poured about ten pills onto the will spread across the table.

Yeonho, his hands no longer shaking, stared at them with calm eyes. Siwoo’s unexpected behavior only made him steadier, braver.

“Hyung. If I… take all of this… then what will you do with your life?”

“I’ll live happily. Love someone I like. Have sex. Spend your money.”

Siwoo answered flatly, then asked again,
“Even after all that, your will still stands?”

He desperately hoped Yeonho would say no. That he’d take it all back, break down, let out the anger he’d been bottling up, cry honestly for once.

But there wasn’t a single tear in Yeonho’s eyes. Instead, he gave Siwoo a faint smile and asked,

“You’ll really live well?”

“I’ll say it again. Even if you swallow all of that, I’ll live just fine.”

“Okay. Then make sure you do. I’m not undoing the will. I don’t intend to.”

At Siwoo’s reply, Yeonho exhaled quietly. His body relaxed, and he could finally smile.

He wiped down the glass and the bottle that Siwoo had touched with his sleeve, erasing all of Siwoo’s fingerprints and leaving only his own. Siwoo silently watched as Yeonho did it.

“I promised to give you everything you wanted. I’ll keep that promise.”

Yeonho turned on his phone camera and started recording. He propped the phone against a small table light and stared directly into the lens as he swallowed one pill.

Even then, Siwoo didn’t flinch. He didn’t make him spit it out or stop him from taking more. That was when Yeonho’s last hope died.

The comfortable false paradise that Siwoo had built for him was crumbling. Was it that one night with Park Jihyun? Was it the will promising everything he had? Was that what changed Siwoo?

But if that was truly what Siwoo wanted, Yeonho could give him everything. Even if he ended up living with Park Jihyun in the home Yeonho had made…

This time, he swallowed two pills at once. He stopped the recording and sent the video to Siwoo. With that, anyone could be convinced that Joo Yeonho had taken his own life.

No one would be suspicious anyway, not of a man with a prior record of drug-related charges.

After swallowing three more pills at once, Yeonho said,
“I really wanted to live a long, long time. But I can’t forget what you said… about wanting to see me dying. I just want to give you what you want more than anything else.”

At that moment, tears streamed from Siwoo’s eyes.

Yeonho didn’t cry. He looked at him gently, then reached out to wipe away Siwoo’s tears with his fingers.

“I always wanted to die by your hands. I wasn’t just saying that either.”

He swallowed the rest of the pills, curled up small, and quietly waited for death.
Oddly enough, for something supposedly life-threatening, the drugs didn’t seem to be working that well.

Just then, Siwoo, crying endlessly, pulled him into his arms and held him tightly. The moment Yeonho felt Siwoo’s embrace, a heavy drowsiness came over him.

Is this what death feels like? It was a lot like falling asleep. Not scary at all.

That’s when Siwoo cried out through his tears,

“Yeonho. You said even my hair and dead fingernails belonged to you. You said everything from head to toe was yours. Did you forget? How could you write a will like that? That doesn’t make sense. If you’re going to die, you should’ve asked to have me buried with you. I’m yours.”

But Yeonho, now peacefully asleep in his arms, didn’t hear any of it.

Siwoo couldn’t stop crying as he looked down at Yeonho, sleeping like the dead. He kissed his warm lips over and over, crying, then whispered softly,

“I won’t beg you to love me more than this ever again. I won’t get anxious just because you’re not by my side.”

Could a person love someone more than this?
Yeonho’s love was overwhelming. If there was a limit to how much love one person could give in a lifetime, Yeonho was pouring out not just this life’s worth, but love from the next one, and the one after that.

Siwoo rubbed his cheek against Yeonho’s pale face, covering him in kisses. Then he lifted Yeonho’s limp body into his arms and carried him to the bedroom.

Maybe everything earlier had just been a dream?

After sleeping deeply for the first time in a while, Yeonho slowly opened his heavy eyelids and locked eyes with Siwoo, who was lying next to him, watching over him.

Was this a dream or reality? Was he alive or dead?
Trying to understand, Yeonho scanned Siwoo suspiciously.

“…What the heck?”

“You said if you took all that, I’d go live happily with someone I liked. Yeonho, let’s get through this together and keep living happily. Oh, but we’re rewriting that will. Got it? I can’t trust you. Too dangerous.”

“Mmmph.”

“Dummy. You fell asleep like a baby after taking calcium, vitamins, and probiotics.”

Finally bursting into tears, Yeonho sniffled, glaring as he reached out and pinched Siwoo’s cheek hard.

“Hey! Kim Yeonho!”