F Side Story 2-1

Kim Siwoo had barely become human, salvaged only by Joo Yeonho’s extreme love. He had already received, in full, the lifetime’s worth of love a person is meant to be given from birth to death, all from Yeonho. The hollow shell he once was had been filled to the brim with that love, and now the love Yeonho had packed into every crevice overflowed from Siwoo’s tear ducts, from between his lips.

Yeonho built a strong fence around him, protecting him safely inside it. And within that space, Siwoo finally felt like he had become a human being. But every time he felt truly settled, it was as if Yeonho sensed it. And then, as if unable to bear the stillness between them, Yeonho would shake the peace on purpose.

One day, in the middle of a calm and ordinary routine, Yeonho threw a pebble into the still lake.

[I’m going to the clinic after work, then stopping by somewhere. There’s suddenly a place I want to go. Eat first without me. Don’t skip dinner just because I’m not there.]

“You suddenly have somewhere you want to go? Alone?”

Siwoo, who had taken Yeonho’s call on the emergency stairs at work, nervously tapped his phone with his index finger. The one who had gifted him peace now wanted to play a game of tag. Siwoo knew well the kind of feelings that made Yeonho want to stir the calm in their relationship now and then. After all, he too was someone who felt anxious when things were too peaceful for too long.

Yeonho, who had been teased quite a bit recently, spoke like he was getting revenge.

[Sorry. Just two hours today. I’ll only leave you alone for two.]

“Hmm, two hours.”

Today Yeonho was going to the hospital. Including travel, waiting, the consultation, and picking up prescriptions, that might take about an hour. So where was he planning to spend the other hour? Siwoo, silent as he calculated, soon regained his calm.

“Alright, do that. Don’t worry and just go comfortably. I’m doing a lot better these days. I can handle being left alone that long.”

Just as expected, an uneasy voice came from the other end of the line.

[Hmm…]

Siwoo smiled silently as he listened to the sound.

[Don’t be too comfortable without me. Could you try being just a little uncomfortable? Just a little bit?]

“You’re not going to tell me where you’re going, huh?”

[Nope. If I told you, you’d feel too at ease.]

Then Yeonho laughed at the ridiculousness of his own words. But behind that laugh came a heartfelt plea.

[I just want you to feel a little anxious and miss me. Just a little. Because one day, you might not get to feel that way anymore. And even though I’m always preparing myself for that day…]

“Yeonho-ya.”

Siwoo called his name in a serious voice, then spoke his heart.

“I miss you even now.”

He knew it all too well. Yeonho’s little games of tag only ever happened within the safe walls he had built around them.

Not long ago, he might have reacted harshly to something like this. But Siwoo now was very different. He had already been assured that Yeonho would remain by his side until the very end. Yeonho was someone who would keep the promise of dying right in front of his eyes.

Thanks to that, Siwoo no longer acted emotionally immature around him. He no longer exposed his obsessive madness without filter. And that kind of behavior was far from admirable.

Through this process, Siwoo had finally reached a point where simply being apart from Yeonho didn’t fill him with anxiety. Yeonho might feel sad if he knew that. The separation anxiety that had once been carved into his bones had truly faded away. So after work, without much hesitation, Siwoo followed Yeonho.

“Where do you think you’re going without me?”

His tense fingertips restlessly rubbed the steering wheel. Without the slightest guilt, he kept his eyes wide open and trailed behind Yeonho. Kim Siwoo was an experienced stalker, with quite a history of following Yeonho.

As expected, Yeonho’s route wasn’t unusual. He headed to the hospital. After some time, he came out of the building, he has finished his appointment. Since Siwoo didn’t know his next destination, this part of the chase mattered most. He couldn’t afford to lose focus now.

Unlike before, Yeonho now knew all the car models Siwoo owned. That meant he couldn’t follow too closely. Siwoo was sweating from the strain of trying not to lose him while keeping a safe distance.

Yeonho’s car wandered unpredictably, then entered a residential area. He parked in front of an old multi-family building, at least thirty years old, and rang the doorbell. After the gate opened, he stepped inside what looked like a regular home.

Siwoo couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It was a scene he hadn’t imagined in the slightest.

“Joo Yeonho, what are you doing?”

There was no suspicion in their relationship anymore. Just questions. Who lived there? Why had Yeonho gone to that house? Who would he meet, what would they talk about, what would he do?

He didn’t even consider the possibility of another romantic partner. The word cheating had no place between them anymore.

But, Siwoo’s imagination spiraled. Illegal procedures? Absurd. Why would Yeonho of all people get an unlicensed procedure? Drug dealing? No way. Yeonho, with his criminal record, was more cautious about unprescribed substances than anyone.

A relative’s house, then? But he had no relatives he kept in touch with.

“…A friend’s house.”

Of course. Yeonho had friends. He used to be outgoing and sociable, and while many things had changed, that didn’t mean he had no one left. Siwoo, too, had people he kept in contact with, though he rarely opened up to them.

Parked a little ways off in a public lot, Siwoo tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and murmured to himself.

“Yeah, a friend. It’s probably a friend.”

That had to be the most rational explanation. Spending an hour at a friend’s house was nothing to worry about. Thinking that, he closed his eyes and leaned back into the seat, beginning the process of self-hypnosis.

“Kim Siwoo, don’t be jealous. Don’t be jealous.”

But jealousy wasn’t something you could control with willpower. The truth was, Siwoo even felt jealous of Yeonho’s psychiatrist. Every week for years, Yeonho had confided his deepest flaws to him. How could he not be jealous of that? Not that he’d ever show it. That was entirely his own madness, and Yeonho didn’t need to see it.

About fifty minutes passed.

Siwoo got out of the car and walked to the gate of the house Yeonho had entered. He knew Yeonho would be shocked that he’d followed him here, but he couldn’t stand the curiosity. He was just going to ask directly, who had he seen, what had he done?

Soon, Yeonho came out the front door. As soon as he saw Siwoo, his eyes widened and he screamed, then turned and bolted.

“Joo Yeonho? Joo Yeonho!”

What the hell? Siwoo couldn’t believe Yeonho was running from him with that terrified look on his face. He didn’t think Yeonho had done anything shameful inside. So why run? Was it because he was scared or disgusted by the fact that Siwoo had followed him all the way here?

Yeonho ran so hard he was out of breath, glancing back at Siwoo’s face twice. But he didn’t get far. Siwoo caught up and grabbed his wrist, not roughly, but firmly enough to keep him from escaping.

“Yeonho-ya, what is it? Why are you running?”

Siwoo didn’t get angry anymore. He didn’t corner Yeonho. There must be a reason. A good reason for Yeonho to run from him.

Yeonho’s eyes trembled as he gasped for air. His voice shook.

“Hyung… did you follow me all the way from work? Is that what this is?”

So it was the obsession again. The part of Siwoo that looked unhinged must have scared him. If that was the case, he could understand. But he wasn’t sorry. Instead, he spoke plainly.

“Yeah, I followed you. I hate not knowing where you are. It makes me nervous. I’m still not normal. I have no intention of becoming normal.”

At those words, Yeonho shut his eyes tightly. Then, with a soft ah, he collapsed into Siwoo’s arms and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“I really, really love this…”

“…What?”

Siwoo narrowed his eyes at him. Yeonho was fully enjoying the sweet, electric thrill of being stalked again, a feeling he hadn’t had in a long time.

“Then why’d you run?”

“…Light-hearted game of tag?”

Was it okay to smack your boyfriend’s ass in public? The days were getting shorter, sure, but still…