F Side Story 4

Siwoo carefully watched Yeonho’s expression as he took off his rubber gloves. He was certain there had to be a reason Yeonho had suddenly brought this up. He removed Yeonho’s gloves as well, then placed the clean frying pan they’d just washed up on the table so Yeonho wouldn’t grab it during the conversation.

“What did he say to you to make you react like this? Did he talk bad about me?”

Siwoo’s gaze was serious. He didn’t want to make Yeonho uncomfortable, Yeonho smiled and shook his head as if it were nothing. He had planned to be completely honest and talk everything through, but he didn’t reveal that a fire was burning hot inside him.

Yeonho, now as before, still wanted to appear calm and mature in front of Siwoo. Lately, he thought he’d been doing a pretty good job.

“No, it’s not like that. I just think he might be one of your university alumni. I saw a graduation album from your school in his apartment. It was from the year after you graduated, so I thought maybe you two knew each other.”

“Same school? Then maybe I just don’t remember him?”

Siwoo tilted his head thoughtfully. If the guy next door had gone to his school, he could understand why Yeonho might think that. He moved the frying pan back to its place and tried to recall the man’s face again.

But apart from being decently handsome and well-groomed, nothing stood out. Throughout his life, Siwoo had only ever been visually stimulated by one person, Yeonho.

And if he really had known the man, he would’ve recognized him immediately. He’d been quite active socially, and with so few Korean students at the time, he at least vaguely remembered most of them.

Taking Siwoo’s words at face value, Yeonho gently traced Siwoo’s lips with his fingers.

“It might not even be his graduation album. I’m just speculating.”

“I see. I was just surprised, thinking something might’ve happened that upset you.”

Siwoo smiled in relief and turned back toward the sink. That’s when Yeonho spoke again.

“…He uses the same perfume as you.”

“…”

“And he was listening to your favorite music.”

Siwoo turned and stared at Yeonho. From his hardened expression, Yeonho couldn’t read what he was thinking.

Did he think Yeonho was overreacting? Or was he hiding the fact that he did know the man, someone with whom he had shared such tastes? Yeonho had only wanted an honest conversation, but now he wondered if he’d said too much.

Siwoo tilted his head slightly and stepped closer. To Yeonho, Siwoo was always so pretty and fragile that he rarely thought of him as physically big. When he curled up in Yeonho’s arms at night, he felt small, like a child. But now, staring down at him with a cold look in his eyes, Siwoo felt intimidatingly large.

He gently rubbed Yeonho’s lips with his thumb and asked in a low whisper,

“Yeonho-ya.”

“Yeah.”

“So, you’re upset because you think I might know that guy?”

Yeonho shook his head. It wasn’t that he was anxious, he trusted Siwoo. It was more that he felt… uncomfortable. No matter what relationship they had, it really bothered him. Even if they were complete strangers, something about them felt destined, and that stoked a jealous fire inside him.

Yeonho placed great meaning on the fact that he and Siwoo both shared the name ‘Yeonho.’ That was just the kind of person he was. So of course, this whole situation was bothering him.

“I’m not anxious. But honestly… I’m not okay either.”

He didn’t want to upset Siwoo or make him feel accused of anything. He had no intention of blaming him. Gently stroking Siwoo’s hand, Yeonho tried to soothe him.

“You’re not mad, are you? I’m not accusing you of anything. It just felt… too weird to be a coincidence. That’s why I asked.”

“I get what you’re thinking, but no. Absolutely not. I don’t know him. Don’t imagine anything else. I never thought the lies I told you before would come back to bite me like this.”

Siwoo looked straight into Yeonho’s eyes and spoke honestly, not allowing even the slightest room for doubt. Yeonho quickly wrapped his arms around his neck and tried to comfort him.

“Okay, that’s all I needed to hear. I’ll forget about it. And don’t worry about what I said. Did it upset you? I’m sorry. I won’t bring him up again. I must still be immature. What’s wrong with me…”

As Yeonho patted his back apologetically, Siwoo’s body gradually slumped. Before he realized it, he had leaned into Yeonho’s chest, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“Ugh…”

Siwoo hugged so tightly that Yeonho groaned. He felt like his organs were being crushed, his spine on the verge of snapping. But he clamped his mouth shut and took a deep breath, willingly accepting Siwoo’s strength. Even if his body broke from the pressure, he didn’t mind.

Siwoo rubbed his cheek against Yeonho’s and planted several soft kisses on his lips as he whispered,

“What are you saying? I’m not upset. I’m just grateful you told me the truth. I just… I got scared you might pull away from me, even a little…”

Siwoo, too, felt uneasy about what Yeonho had experienced. Someone had gone out of their way to speak to him, made up a lie about noise, and tried to draw him into their home. Was that really just coincidence? What kind of person was he? If it wasn’t a coincidence, what was he really after?

Relieved that Siwoo wasn’t angry, Yeonho looked down at the anxious expression on his lover’s face and murmured something ridiculous.

“Kim Yeonho, you look like a little sparrow. A wet one.”

Siwoo, nearly 190 centimeters tall, readily agreed, his voice full of self-pity.

“Yeah… I kinda am like that.”

Yeonho wrapped him up protectively, as if he really were a mother bird sheltering a drenched chick.

***

Siwoo, who had exercised indoors all summer, went for a run in the cooling night air, a single earbud playing no music in one ear. Running outdoors, feeling the wind, helped stabilize his mind. Back in the U.S., during the darkest times, he used to run every day without fail just to hold himself together.

As he slowed to a walk and checked his phone, footsteps grew louder behind him, and soon someone spoke beside him.

“Hi, I’m the guy who just moved in next door.”

“Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.”

Siwoo didn’t recognize him right away, but the man introduced himself. It had been three days since their first encounter.

Siwoo kept his guard up but hid it well. It was entirely possible that everything was just coincidence, and without clear intent, he couldn’t act hostile. No matter how unwell he might be mentally, Kim Siwoo wasn’t rude enough to pick fights with neighbors on a whim.

He had lived his whole life masking his disgust and suspicion toward people this way. Enough to fool everyone into thinking he was perfectly social.

But his resolve not to lash out didn’t last long. The man walking beside him glanced down at Siwoo’s shoes and said something that made his skin crawl.

“Oh, hey, we’re wearing the same sneakers.”

“…”

Siwoo, who had worn the same brand of sneakers since childhood, felt repulsed by this coincidence and asked bluntly,

“You’re a cultist, right?”

“…What?”

“Did you move in next door to bond over shared interests so you could recruit me? I’m cut off from my parents now, so I’m not even worth that kind of investment. Don’t waste your time. Who told you about me? I didn’t expect I had a cultist among my acquaintances.”

Letting out a sharp scoff, Siwoo started jogging again. But the man matched his pace and shouted,

“I’m not religious!”

“I don’t care. Just stay away from me. If you get this close, my boyfriend might get the wrong idea.”

Siwoo snapped coldly and sped up, staring straight ahead. And then, he stopped dead in his tracks.

From his earbud, music had suddenly started playing. Across from him, Yeonho stood blinking, the other earbud in his ear.

Yeonho’s gaze dropped. His eyes widened as he spotted their shoes, identical sneakers, only with different colored logos.

They had been running together, sharing earbuds, when Yeonho had said he needed a break and sat on a bench. Siwoo had gone on for another lap, and this whole mess had happened in that short time. The timing couldn’t have been worse.

Siwoo rushed over to support Yeonho, who looked shaken. Clinging to Siwoo like a soaked sparrow, Yeonho muttered in a pitiful voice,

“Hyung, I’m seriously gonna get the wrong idea if I see stuff like this.”

“No, no. It’s not what it looks like. Stop whatever you’re thinking.”

“Right? It’s not, right?”

Siwoo pulled Yeonho into a tight hug, lifting him so his feet barely touched the ground, trying to prevent any misunderstanding before it could even form.

“Should I just build a fence around the park? Want me to do it right now?”

“No! That’s illegal!”