F Side Story 6

He had a dream of playing with a young Yeonho at an amusement park, eating ice cream and churros. As they were heading toward the carousel, Yeonho let go of his hand. Then he turned away and said he was going home first.

The young Siwoo ran after him endlessly. Don’t go, don’t go, please don’t leave me, please stay with me. At his tearful pleading, Yeonho stopped and turned around to look at him.

Siwoo ran into Yeonho’s arms and sobbed loudly, then woke up. Of course, the real, grown-up Kim Siwoo didn’t cry. It was a painful dream, but not a nightmare. Because, in the end, the dream had still finished with him held in Yeonho’s arms.

As Yeonho had said, all the thoughts and worries that had filled Siwoo’s mind during the day had come out in his dreams. He wanted to pull the dream straight from his head and show it to Yeonho, to say: I did as you told me. I thought of only you, right up until I fell asleep. I only thought about how not to be abandoned by you.

Whenever a dream left him feeling uneasy, it was almost always because Yeonho wasn’t beside him. His body seemed to instinctively recognize his absence. Out of habit, Siwoo checked his palms and soles, but there were no doodles. Since they’d begun living together, this was the first morning his palms had been empty.

Maybe it was because he’d just woken from the dream and was still a child within it, but Siwoo felt a deep, aching sorrow.

“Yeonho-ya, hold me.”

Murmuring softly, he got out of bed and reached for the door handle. His palm came away sticky. Siwoo looked down at it carefully. Something transparent and moist had drawn a shape across his palm’s lines.

He brought it to his nose to identify it. The faint scent told him immediately what it was. He’d licked and swallowed it countless times a day, Yeonho’s lip balm.

Finally shaking off the unease, Siwoo smiled and pressed his lips to the secret imprint Yeonho had left behind. Then he opened the door with a bright face.

It was a leisurely Saturday morning. Yeonho was in the kitchen, quietly preparing breakfast. Their eyes met, Yeonho was moving carefully, not wanting to wake him.

“Hyung, you’re up already? I thought you’d sleep in today.”

“What time did you get up?”

Yeonho just smiled without answering. Siwoo glanced over the ingredients on the counter to guess what was cooking.

“Dumplings?”

“…”

“You made them by hand?”

Yeonho shyly nodded, it was surprising. The same Joo Yeonho who once lied as naturally as he breathed, just to keep Siwoo’s love, was now becoming a trustworthy lover who wouldn’t say even a harmless fib. Suddenly overwhelmed, Siwoo strode over and hugged Yeonho tightly, speaking in a choked voice.

“Yeonho-ya, you turned around and left while we were on our way to the carousel. But it turns out you went home to make dumplings…”

“Kim Yeonho, go back to bed.”

Yeonho blinked his big eyes and lightly patted Siwoo’s butt.

***

Siwoo checked the neighbor’s property records. He knew it was a shady thing to do, but the shady one had acted first. It turned out the ownership of the apartment hadn’t changed, it meant the new guy was a tenant.

He confirmed from rental transaction records that there had been a lease on their floor recently. Whatever the man’s motives, coming in on a lease meant he probably wasn’t planning for the long haul. In that case, Siwoo wanted to end it quickly, no dragging it out.

Without hesitation, he pulled a letter from the neighbor’s mailbox to check the man’s full name. It was Park Jihyun.

It was hard to confirm whether they had attended the same university based on the name alone. The man likely used an English name in the U.S., and maybe he had kept to himself and didn’t know other Korean students. Given that he’d confidently invited them into a home with a school yearbook displayed, it was probably true that he’d at least attended the same school.

Either he was trying to build a connection now for some specific goal, or he’d been stalking since college. Siwoo leaned toward one of the two. But if it were the latter, he was sure he would’ve noticed. Despite being emotionally detached from others, Siwoo was always hyperaware of his surroundings, living behind a mask of practiced social niceties.

Which meant the most important thing wasn’t the man himself, but the person who had fed him information about Siwoo. The one who noticed and remembered his little preferences could only be someone from his inner circle.

Since he had never opened up to anyone but Yeonho, that made everyone else a suspect. There were people among his acquaintances who had once gossiped to Seong Junyoung about him, more than one, in fact. He couldn’t trust anyone.

Whatever the intent behind this man’s approach, there was no way Siwoo would fall stupidly into his trap or let himself be tied down by it. The real issue was Yeonho. Poor Joo Yeonho, who had no choice but to endure this situation blindly, relying on nothing but trust until the truth came to light.

If he wanted to reassure Yeonho quickly, the fastest method would be to play along, pretending to fall into the man’s scheme to figure out his motives. But every time he thought of Yeonho’s big eyes, brimming with tears, he couldn’t bring himself to take the shortcut.

More than anything, keeping Yeonho from being stressed was the top priority. If this situation drove even a small wedge between them, Siwoo swore he’d never forgive the person responsible.

***

After a weekend full of dumplings, Monday arrived. During work, Siwoo looked down at the business card he’d just been handed and made a dumbfounded face.

“Wow, what are the odds? We meet again here too? Amazing. Want to have lunch together?”

Park Jihyun spoke. He was the asset manager of a high-profile private investor. The investor he managed had shown interest in investing in the first overseas branch of Platte Resort, which was preparing to expand internationally. That’s why he had arranged a meeting with the CEO, Yeonho’s mother.

Siwoo clutched the business card, let out a dry laugh, and sighed. So he’d followed them all the way to the company, there was no way this could be ignored. Still, he didn’t outright reject Park Jihyun’s invitation to eat together.

“Having a full meal might be a bit much. How about we just grab some coffee afterward? Let’s meet in the cafe on the first floor in thirty minutes.”

After setting the time and place, Siwoo headed to the staff cafeteria as usual. While eating with the PR team, he messaged Yeonho and explained everything: that Park Jihyun had shown up at the company, who he was, and that Siwoo would be meeting him at the cafe after lunch.

Yeonho’s reply came quickly.

Alright, do it. But don’t push yourself. You don’t need to try so hard to fix it. There’s nothing wrong with us.

Park Jihyun was already at the cafe, reading a book. Siwoo’s eyes immediately caught the title on the cover. He had been wondering how to steer this conversation in a productive direction, and the moment he saw the book, he knew exactly how.

Sitting across from him, Siwoo asked,

“You like that book?”

“Yes. I really like it. I’ve read it several times.”

Siwoo knew coming here had been the right decision. At this moment, the identity of this impure intruder became crystal clear.

“I’ve read it several times too. Even in the original.”

“So have I. I’m actually reading it in English right now.”

Siwoo truly had read the book many times. But not once had he ever liked it. Not even a little. And after entering university, he had never mentioned the book again. Still, there was someone out there who believed Siwoo liked it.

Since elementary school, Siwoo had been forced to read it in preparation for college admissions. Even the translated version had been difficult at his age, and yet he had to read the original repeatedly. After being made to write forced reflections, he’d had to call it “the book that influenced my life the most.”

The reason Siwoo hated the book was simple, because he fundamentally disagreed with its inhumane, cold, and cruel philosophy. To put it plainly, it felt like a load of pretentious nonsense. Being forced to read it felt like violence.

Anyway, Siwoo felt confident now about Park Jihyun’s purpose in appearing before him and Yeonho: to poke at Yeonho’s nerves, wedge a psychological gap between them, and ultimately break them up.

But that was never going to happen.

Feeling clear-headed, Siwoo picked up his cup. He sipped the iced coffee and leaned back in his seat.

Did they really think they wouldn’t get caught? Had they told Park Jihyun about this book because they genuinely believed Siwoo liked it? No, maybe uncovering who was behind this didn’t matter to them at all.

After all, it was just suspicion. If they denied everything and claimed coincidence to the end, Yeonho might eventually waver. And if that happened, they would have gotten what they wanted.

***

“They seemed close. They were speaking in English, talking about the book that guy was reading. Apparently, both of them have read it multiple times.”

Yeonho’s team lead told him that she’d seen Siwoo downstairs at the cafe after lunch. She’d gone to get coffee and happened to spot him.

The fact that Park Jihyun had shown up at the company only made it more likely, just as Siwoo suspected, that he had approached them deliberately. But knowing that didn’t make it any easier for Yeonho to hear that Siwoo had sat and talked with him about a shared interest.

“Do you happen to know what the book was?”

“Yeah. The title was big and bold on the cover. You know how we in PR tend to notice that stuff.”

She told him the title. Yeonho felt like he was being punished. Punished for making Siwoo suffer for five long years. He thanked her and, a bit belatedly, asked,

“Um, but why are you telling me about Kim Siwoo?”

“Well, just… You two are close, right?”

“Really? We seem close?”

“Super close, aren’t you?”

Yeonho tilted his head in confusion. He was certain they’d done everything they could to avoid revealing their relationship to others.

They did commute together every day, whether in the same car or separately, but they never lingered in the parking lot long enough to be seen. They wore matching rings, but the design was plain and subtle. Occasionally, they ran into each other at work and exchanged light teasing or playful eye contact, but was that enough to seem “super close”?

While waiting for a message from Siwoo, Yeonho searched the book’s title. He had no idea Siwoo liked that book. Siwoo had never told him. If he had known, he would’ve read it earlier. And they could’ve talked about it together.

“…Looks like I’ve still got a long way to go.”

He’d thought he knew a lot about Siwoo. But apparently not. He needed to try harder. Just then, the long-awaited message from Siwoo arrived.

Yeonho-ya. I think I’ve figured everything out. Let me get my thoughts in order, and I’ll tell you when I get home. There’s nothing to worry about.

Got it. Good job today. But hyung, I’m heading out after work. I’ve got somewhere to stop by. See you tonight.

After work, Yeonho stopped by a bookstore and bought the book. Sitting in a cafe, he opened it. With grim determination to absorb everything about Siwoo, he began reading.

Unfortunately, Yeonho’s reaction was,

“…What the hell is this bullshit?”