F17

Siwoo, holding Yeonho in his arms, followed his lead without a word.

Even without speaking, even with a blink, Siwoo could tell exactly what Yeonho wanted.

He figured Yeonho’s wish was to leave the dorms together, go to the hospital, then return to Seoul with just the two of them. The way Yeonho so boldly expressed his desires and acted to fulfill them was both astonishing and, in a way, enviable. He was the complete opposite of Siwoo, who always tried to suppress his own desires.

That’s why, by Siwoo’s standards, the Yeonho he had seen over the past two days seemed really lighthearted. If he could show this much affection to someone he’d just met, then surely Siwoo wasn’t the only person in his life to have received such attention.

Of course, Yeonho’s “casualness” had nothing to do with how Siwoo felt about him. It wasn’t that he disliked him for it, or that he distrusted him, and really, their relationship wasn’t even at the point where such things mattered. If anything, it was Yeonho’s boldness that Siwoo found attractive.

The official schedule for the orientation program was over anyway. So instead of scrolling through his phone and killing time in the dorm before boarding a chartered bus back to Seoul, Siwoo decided to just go along with Yeonho’s plan. Spending time with him felt like it would be far more enjoyable.

Even now, fully sober, the feelings he had for Yeonho before falling asleep remained unchanged. Yeonho seemed to feel the same. Despite all the things he had said while drunk, not once did he take anything back. He had sought Siwoo out with clear intent.

In truth, after spending the night with Yeonho, Siwoo began to feel bored during the moments when Yeonho wasn’t stimulating his senses. For once, he wanted to let things take their course, to surrender control and see where he ended up.

Kim Siwoo was someone who could stay calm even while watching porn. Emotional agitation caused by others was rare for him. Which made this moment feel uniquely valuable.

There was the option of going to the infirmary, but to fully satisfy Yeonho’s desires, Siwoo deliberately packed their things and took a taxi to a hospital instead. Having rarely experienced anything resembling fun in his twenty-one years, Siwoo found himself strangely entertained by playing along with Yeonho’s setup.

That is, aside from the fact that he had to carry a man over 180 cm tall on his back, along with a suitcase and a heavy backpack, all by himself.

Even in the early morning, the orthopedic department was crowded. Siwoo sat Yeonho down in the one remaining chair in the hallway and stood in front of him, waiting.

Yeonho, who had sacrificed his ankle just to keep his connection with Siwoo alive, fidgeted with his fingers as he tried to gauge his mood. Since they had arrived at the hospital, Siwoo hadn’t smiled once. Yeonho shrank back, worried that he had upset him.

“I’m sorry. I probably feel like a burden, but… please smile.”

“Sorry, but I can’t really smile right now.”

It wasn’t that he was in a bad mood. It was just that all the physical effort of registering for outpatient care at a massive hospital while carrying Yeonho and their luggage had drained him. It wasn’t the weight, it was the maze-like layout. But he’d recover in a bit. And once he did, the smile would come back too.

Yeonho looked up at him with innocent eyes, embarrassed but hopeful.

“People usually smile when they look at my face.”

Siwoo looked down at him, completely dumbfounded. The words didn’t sound arrogant, but the face saying them was so shy it almost seemed apologetic. He asked,

“Do you know what your face looks like?”

“Yes. It looks funny. People always say my face is funny.”

Yeonho smiled bashfully, his eyes crinkling. Siwoo dropped to one knee in front of him and met him at eye level. Then, unashamedly, he began to examine Yeonho’s face in detail.

His forehead. His brows. His pupils. His nose, cheeks, and lips. He stared at each feature like he was studying a sculpture.

For over five minutes, Siwoo just looked at him. Leaning his chin on his hand, tilting his head slightly, as if admiring a piece of art.

Yeonho’s face flushed bright red, but he couldn’t tell him to stop. He was too embarrassed to meet Siwoo’s gaze and kept looking away, but around the seventh minute, he dared a quick glance.

Was he imagining it? Siwoo’s eyes looked gentle. His expression was relaxed, and yes, his lips were curled up in a faint smile.

Yeonho had succeeded in making Siwoo smile with his face.

He smiled too, and said,

“My face is funny, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It’s funny. Your face is fascinating.”

Light brown hair. Eyes and hair of the same color, it didn’t seem like he dyed it, just had naturally low melanin. His skin was pale. His face, smooth like a doll, even had a beautifully placed mole. Like the creator had crafted him carefully and stamped a final dot on his cheek as a signature. Siwoo suddenly had the urge to touch his face with his fingertips.

“But when I think about other people smiling at your face too…”

“Too…?”

“I don’t like it that much.”

Yeonho chose to interpret that as positively as possible. His lips trembled as a result.

As Siwoo continued admiring Yeonho’s face and enduring the long wait, he eventually took out his phone, turned on the camera, and began filming him.

“I’m just filming the wall, but Yeonho-ssi keeps getting in the frame.”

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean!”

“I’ll watch this later at home and laugh.”

After recording about thirty seconds, Siwoo played the clip back and smirked. Yeonho, annoyed, grabbed him by the collar and shook him.

“I’m going to recover your video too! It’s still in the trash folder!”

“I checked it yesterday. You looked good in it, so I didn’t delete it. You must be in photography for a reason, you shoot well.”

“You’re seriously annoying.”

Yeonho gave him two weak punches in the shoulder, genuinely irritated.

With his ankle treated and wrapped in a compression bandage, Yeonho proudly rode on Siwoo’s back as they boarded the train to Seoul.

His heart swelled. Until now, not a single person had truly captured Yeonho’s heart. But now, just after becoming an adult, he had fallen at first sight. And though the beginning was a mess, he had managed to completely change his image in just one day.

At this rate, Yeonho’s first “crush” and relationship would go very smoothly.

On the train, they exchanged some basic personal information. Turns out, they lived close. Both their homes were near the university, within walking distance.

Siwoo said his parents were office workers. Yeonho said his parents ran a lodging business. Neither had lied, they simply told the truth. Their parents’ jobs weren’t important.

“I’m an only child. Just me.”

“I have two older brothers. My biological father passed when I was young, and my mom remarried. They’re stepbrothers, but we’re close, like real siblings.”

“Aren’t you being a bit too open?”

“It’s not something to be ashamed of.”

They exchanged numbers. The train soon arrived in Seoul.

At Yeonho’s apartment, Siwoo carried him onto the elevator.

Yeonho thought, This is it. My final chance to be brave.

His heart was pounding against Siwoo’s back so hard it was practically knocking. He just hoped his voice wouldn’t shake.

“Do you want to wash up at my place before heading home?”

“No. I’ll just get dirty again once I leave.”

“Then… want to lie down for a bit before you go?”

“No thanks. I like standing. I stood at the hospital earlier too.”

Siwoo wasn’t about to spend time at a stranger’s house after two days of knowing him, let alone meet his family. He shut Yeonho down firmly. Still, whatever Yeonho’s personality was like, the fluttering he was causing felt genuine. His back was getting a massage from Yeonho’s heartbeat.

Yeonho pushed again.

“Want to eat pasta?”

“I’m craving Korean food today.”

“At least… coffee?”

“We can go to a cafe.”

Then Yeonho dropped his final card, something he hadn’t mentioned on the train.

“…I live alone. There’s no one at home.”

Siwoo thought that maybe it was okay to quit smoking and start something new.

Three months ago, he’d picked up smoking, thinking he might suffocate otherwise. It had started as a desperate outlet. But he’d never really felt addicted to it.

“There’s no one to take care of me at home…”

In just two days, Yeonho had broken through all the defenses and emotional walls Siwoo had built up over twenty years. It was like he was betting with the universe to see if he could win Siwoo’s heart.

And Siwoo, too, wanted to test himself.

To see whether he would fall into this one-dimensional temptation and end up addicted, surrendering both body and heart to this man. Or whether he’d be able to draw the line and endure until the end.

Yeonho did everything he wanted from start to finish. So maybe it was fine if Siwoo did the same.

It was true that he liked Yeonho. It was true that this moment felt good. But right now, he had no intention of letting that feeling turn into love.

Whatever happened next… he’d find out when he got there.